Running Out of Time
by wildflowers15
Summary: Selia is a young guard forced to do her job even if she doesn't agree with it, but the Ark isn't the only thing dying. Struggling to hide the horrible truth & continue to protect the people she loves, she finds herself on Earth to prove the 100 are alive. The problem? The Ground is dangerous, her time is running out, and being around a certain boy is not good for her broken heart.
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone!

So, this is my first story for The 100! I've been messing with this idea for a while so I'm really excited to finally share it. The only way I can survive writing the five papers I have due for finals week is by giving myself breaks to do some writing I actually enjoy, so I've finally edited what I already wrote for this to get it going.

To give a little more information with the summary, Selia Kane is a twenty-three year old guard who had a long relationship with Bellamy Blake that ended in some serious heartbreak. At the start of this story, it is three years after he broke up with her. I really love the idea of Kane having a daughter, but I wanted to make it a little bit different so she is not in the Skybox and won't be going to Earth right away. I'm not entirely sure how the training for being a guard worked on the Ark, but just bear with me as I make it work for this story. Bellamy being a cadet is the same as in the show, but I'm saying that Selia was able to join right at the age of eighteen so she's been a graduated guard way before he gets into it.

Lastly, this is not the the point of view I typically write from, so bear with me on that too please.

I really hope everyone enjoys reading!

* * *

 _"That's pretty bold, kid," Selia says as one of the teenagers at the dance tries to flirt with her._

 _"What do you say?" The blond boy presses as she scans his friend's I.D._

 _"I say you're fifteen. I'm a little old for you and, even if I wasn't," Selia pauses to hand the other kid his I.D. before turning to face her admirer, "you're not really my type."_

 _The young guard smirks in amusement as the group of teenagers laugh and tease their friend while she moves onto the next group. She wasn't particularly pleased that Shumway had forced her into helping with the dance because of the solar flare since she knew which cadet unit was handling security. However, her lame excuses were completely ignored by her commanding officer so her only option is to carefully avoid even a glance in the direction of a certain future guardsman._

 _Unfortunately, things are never that easy._

 _"Stop her!"_

 _Lieutenant Shumway's order has Selia spinning around on instinct where she meets a girl running in her direction. She steps in front of the teenager's path while Evan, a fellow guardsman, grabs ahold of her. They all turn to face the man who gave the command, but Shumway isn't who Selia sees._

 _Her heart completely stops for a moment as she meets the familiar gaze of Bellamy Blake. Only, his focus is on the person she just apprehended and his expression is one she doesn't recognize._

 _In confusion, Selia looks down at the girl who tried to run and tries to understand her connection to the boy who broke her heart._

…

The water is cold as Selia splashes it on her face before meeting her tired gaze in the old mirror. She groans in disappointment after noticing the circles beneath her brown eyes are even darker than they were when she fell asleep. Exhaustion has been eating away at her, though, she's unsure why it continues to happen no matter how much sleep she's able to get. Perhaps, the cause is stress from the event that is finally taking place today. If anything, she knows it's why she's faced with the reoccurring dream of the night at the masquerade dance that happened a year ago.

With a sigh, Selia dries her face before braiding her dark, auburn hair. After that, she brushes her teeth and puts on her guard uniform. Right as she goes to zip her jacket, she glances back up in the mirror to see red seeping from her nose. She touches the blood before it can reach her lips and stares at it in shock.

She never gets bloody noses.

Selia grabs the towel hanging near the sink and presses it to her nose while she leaves the bathroom to finish getting ready. However, as soon as she gets her watch to put it on, she sees the time.

"Crap!" The young guard throws the towel aside, grabs her weapons belt, and bolts through the door.

Somehow, she manages to get her belt on, zip her jacket, and make it to the Skybox before her father can officially say she's late. Of course, the fact that she's winded when she meets him outside the prison still earns her a vaguely annoyed comment.

"That's the third day this week you've overslept," Marcus says.

"I'm not late," she points out.

"Barely," he mutters dismissively. "We need to get started. Marks has your case."

Kane starts to move towards the entrance to the Skybox, but his daughter hesitates. He glances back to see her expression and sighs in irritation.

"Let's go," he orders.

"I don't think this is right," she tells him for about the twentieth time. "We shouldn't be sending children down there, Dad. It should be willing adults – scientists, guards, workers."

"The decision has been made, Selia."

"By people who aren't actually going to the Ground!"

"Enough," Marcus commands sharply. Selia's mouth snaps shut at his tone, but she glares up at him like a petulant teenager. "You are not here to share your opinion. You're here because I trust your discretion. Now, do your job and do not cause any problems."

"Yes, sir," she grumbles. In order to resist the urge to say anything snippy in return, she bypasses him and swipes her I.D. card to get inside the Skybox, but her father's voice stops her before she can get any farther.

"Other guards will take care of Clarke," he says when she looks over her shoulder with an annoyed expression.

Anger floods her as she spins around. "But Clarke –"

"You'll let someone else take care of her and that's an order," he cuts her off quickly.

Biting her tongue again, she goes to meet the other guards who have been cleared for this job without another word. The two members of the Kane family never had many issues or disagreements until this past year. It all started when he arrested Clarke and Jake Griffin. Since then, there have been many instances where Selia found herself on a completely different page than her father. This, of course, is followed by her inability to keep her opinion to herself which has put a serious strain on their relationship.

"Morning, Sel," Evan greets when she finds him in the group. "You missed breakfast again."

"I overslept," she explains as Commander Shumway gives the orders for them to begin.

"You've barely been eating lately," he continues as they walk to the section of the prison they've been assigned. "Did you lose your rations or something?"

"Do you really think I've been gambling?" Selia scoffs. Her best friend shrugs his shoulders with a grin, but she knows his concern is genuine. "I've just been tired. If I have to choose between sleep and food, it's always going to be sleep."

"If you say so."

The childhood friends fall into a comfortable silence as Marks carries the case of bracelets and the younger Kane opens the cell doors to put them on the juvenile prisoners. With each wrist Selia closes the tracking devices around, her stomach twists with guilt. These teenagers aren't much younger than she and Evan, most only committed minor crimes, but they could all be heading straight to their death without even knowing it.

The pair reaches the final cell in their section and Selia hesitates when she goes to put the code in to unlock it.

"167," Evan reads the identification number of the prisoner from the label above the keypad. "This is Octavia Blake, right?"

Selia glances over to meet his knowing, hazel-eyed gaze and gives him a warning look. She doesn't want to talk about Octavia Blake or any Blake for that matter and Evan knows it. Even three years later, it still hurts enough to knock the wind out of her. Turning back to the door, the young woman takes a deep breath before typing in the code and listening for the telltale click of the lock turning. Pushing the door open, both guards enter the small cell to find the prisoner sitting on her bed with a nervous expression most likely caused by the commotion outside right now.

"Prisoner 167, stand and face the wall," Selia orders in a firm tone that belies her discomfort.

"What's going on?" Octavia demands as she follows the directions.

"Hold out your right arm," she continues without answering the younger girl.

"You can't float me, I'm only seventeen," the teenager argues sharply while Selia takes the last wristband from Evan's case.

"Hold out your right arm," Marks repeats more harshly.

"No one is floating you, Octavia," Selia says gently.

The green-eyed girl turns towards the guard in confusion as she's not used to hearing her actual name. Octavia recognizes her by the pretty braid twisting her auburn hair, remembering she's one of the people who caught her at the dance. Selia realizes this as anger flashes over the prisoner's eyes and guilt immediately makes the bile rise in the back of her throat.

"What's happening then?" Octavia snips.

"You're going to Earth."

…

"Final check!" Commander Shumway bellows after all the prisoners are strapped into the dropship.

Selia takes the lower level and scans it with her flashlight to ensure everything is good to go for the launch. Everything seems fine until she catches movement from the corner of her eye. Reaching for her shock baton, she moves cautiously towards the back of the ship, shining her light on the person who doesn't belong there. The hand on her weapon falls slack, however, when she realizes who is trying to hitch a ride.

Bellamy Blake sits on the floor of the ship, hidden behind a metal pillar. Selia's mouth goes dry and she struggles to swallow the lump in her throat as she comes face to face with the boy who still haunts her dreams. He looks the same as he did a year ago when she last saw him with the black hair neatly pushed back, all the freckles she used to count like stars, everything clearer than in the memory she woke up with this morning.

The only difference is the ragged, nervous expression marring his handsome features and the pleading look in the dark eyes she truly thought held love for her once.

"Kane, did you find anything?" Evan's voice shouts from the middle level.

Though she doesn't know how he found out about this, Selia isn't surprised in the slightest that Bellamy snuck onto the dropship. At the end of their four-year relationship, she was left feeling like she never really knew the boy she loved so much, but she does know a part of him. She knows he'd do anything to protect the people he cares about and there's no one he cares about more than his little sister. That was obvious the night at the dance when Octavia got caught.

"Sel?" Evan calls again when she doesn't reply.

Selia should arrest Bellamy right now. If anyone else had found him, he would already be in cuffs, but she knows exactly how that would end. No matter how much her heart hurts because of him, she could never let him be floated. The young guard stopped it once before and now she'll stop it again.

"All clear!" She shouts.

Bellamy's eyes shine with relief and a pained glint he has no right to hold, but Selia turns away before she can see anything else and leaves the lower level without a glance back.

…

"Selia Kane!" Marcus bellows as he slams the door to their family quarters.

The young guard is startled from her fitful nap, waking up in confusion from having no memory of falling asleep on the couch. Her hand is still clenched around the towel she pressed against her nose from her second nosebleed and she quickly stuffs it behind her before her father can see the red stains.

"Selia," he snaps again when he finds her rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Hmm?" she mumbles, too tired to worry about the anger in his tone. She pulls the tie holding the messy braid together from her hair before combing out the tangles with her fingers.

"Did you know he was on the dropship?" Marcus demands.

"What?" she questions, not really hearing his words.

"Did you know that Bellamy Blake was on the dropship?"

Her ex-boyfriend's name is one way to force her tired eyes open all the way and she gapes up at her father in utter shock. It was hours ago, she doesn't understand how he could already know.

Selia opens her mouth to speak, but she's never been a good liar, so the words die on her tongue. Realizing that her silence is confirmation, Marcus sighs in disappointment.

"You let him go," the older Kane shakes his head.

"I – I didn't see the harm," she explains quickly. "He's just going to protect his sister. What difference does it make? One less person up here who needs air, right? Wasn't that the real purpose of this?"

"Of course, you didn't see the harm, Selia! You are completely blind to everything that boy does and you have been since you were kids!" He shouts. "He didn't sneak on to protect his sister, he snuck on because he tried to kill the Chancellor!"

"Wait, what?" Selia mutters. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, _you_ let an assassin escape justice," her father spits. "He shot the Chancellor. Jaha is still in surgery as we speak."

"You – you don't know that," she argues. Defending Bellamy comes as easy as breathing, even years after he stomped on her heart. "He wouldn't do that, he wouldn't hurt anyone."

"Oh, for God's sake, do you hear yourself, Selia?" Marcus growls. "He snuck onto the dropship, he's the only person in the entire Ark who is unaccounted for, and Chancellor Jaha is barely hanging on right now. Bellamy Blake tried to kill him and he very well may be successful."

"Dad –"

"I should arrest you for this, you know that?" He cuts her off before she can argue further. "I should strip you from your position in the Guard or make sure you never have an opportunity to promote. And all for what?"

"I – I didn't know," Selia says in a small voice. She shrinks like a child under his cold, disappointed gaze.

"The problem is, I think you still would have let him go if you knew," he sighs in frustration. "I should have floated that criminal last year when he was arrested. All that fighting when you insisted he was a good person was a waste. Not only did he break your heart, but he has you breaking the law to protect him and now I have to break the law to protect you."

"If you don't want to protect me, then arrest me now," she mutters in a half-hearted attempt to bite back. It comes out weak, however, as she tries to wrap her mind around everything her father has said.

"All I want is to protect you, Sel. I just wish you would use your head and not make it so hard."

…

Selia rushes home to the bathroom as the food settles in her stomach unwelcomed. She made sure to wake up on time to meet Evan for breakfast so he wouldn't worry anymore, but she barely ate any of it before the nausea threatened to overcome her. She makes it to the toilet just in time only to find herself dry-heaving once her belly is empty from the small meal.

The tired girl sprawls out on the bathroom floor once her body can't convulse anymore and she lets the cool ground soothe her skin.

"Sel?" Marcus calls as he knocks on the door. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy," she mutters.

"Well, come out here," he says. "We need to talk."

"Little busy," Selia grumbles.

"Now." He commands. "It's important."

"Of course it is," she groans under her breath.

Using the sink, Selia pulls herself to her feet and quickly brushes her teeth to rid her mouth of the taste of bile. She glares at her reflection when she sees how the dark circles are getting worse while her skin pales from the stomachache.

"Selia!"

"Coming!" She yells back. She wipes her mouth before exiting the bathroom and meeting her father in the living room. "What is it?"

"You should sit down," he says, pointing to the couch.

"Why?"

"Because you're not going to like what I tell you."

When Selia doesn't respond, Marcus sighs and rubs his face.

"Fine, have it your way," he mutters before looking her dead in the eye with a cool expression. "Abby Griffin was arrested yesterday for exceeding the allotted blood during surgery."

"What are you talking about?" she questions in confusion. "You mean, with Chancellor Jaha?"

"The law is the same no matter who the patient as is the sentence."

"You can't be serious," Selia murmurs in horror. "You can't be planning to float her."

"Her execution is in an hour."

"No, Dad! What the hell? You – you can't!"

"I'm not telling you so you can argue it. I'm telling you so you can say goodbye to Councilor Griffin."

"Councilor Griffin?" she repeats in disbelief. "What is wrong with you? Abby is family –"

"We're not talking about this, Selia." Marcus turns away from his daughter and heads towards the door. He stops to grab his jacket, slinging it over his shoulders as goes to leave.

"She was Mom's best friend!"

Marcus falters for a moment with his hand on the door handle, but he pushes it open without responding to his daughter.

"She's helped raise me since Mom died," Selia continues, fear consuming her voice. "Please, Dad. I love Abby, you can't do this!"

"You can think I'm the bad guy all you want, Sel, but I will do anything it takes to save us, to save _you_ ," he tells her carefully, still refusing to look at her.

"If losing people I care about is the cost, then I don't want to be saved!"

"Then, it's a good thing it isn't your choice!"

…

Selia is by Abby's side as she makes the walk to the airlock where all criminals are floated. The young guard remembers her mother's death well, every detail of those final moments burned into her brain better than any other memory. It was a long, torturous death as the illness ate away at Laney Kane from the inside while Selia and Marcus were forced to just watch. Since then, Abby has done everything she can to help fill the hole left behind. Of course, it's impossible to replace her mother, but the doctor has always treated her like a daughter and Sel has loved her for it.

Only, now she's going to lose Abby, too.

They come to a stop near the airlock where Kane, Commander Shumway, and two other guards are waiting. Evan, who stands on the other side of the doctor, removes the cuffs restraining her wrists. Selia flings her arms around the doctor, unable to hold back her tears any longer.

"It's okay, Selia," Abby murmurs as the girl chokes back a sob.

"I'm so sorry," Selia cries into their embrace.

"That's enough," Marcus orders coldly.

Selia only holds on tighter while Abby lovingly smooths the waves of her auburn hair. A sharp nod from the Head of the Guard has Evan pulling his best friend away, however.

"Watch out for Clarke for me," Abby whispers and Selia nods in silent agreement.

When the airlock is sealed with Abby inside it and her father nods the command, the young guard is certain she's going to be sick. Tears blur her vision as she trembles in Evan's arms and Marcus refuses to look at her as he knows his daughter's heartbreak will be his undoing just as it had been when he planned to execute Bellamy Blake.

"You don't have to watch, Sel," Evan whispers in her ear, but she shakes her head. She does have to watch because this is the last time she'll ever see Abby.

Commander Shumway's finger moves toward the button that will suck Abby out into the emptiness of space while Evan's hold tightens as Selia tries to gasp through her sobs.

Then, a miracle happens.

"Stop," the firm command of their injured Chancellor rings out around them and Jaha stumbles forward, clutching his abdomen. "Dr. Griffin is pardoned."

Evan releases Selia as the airlock opens to let Abby go and the young guard races forward to meet the doctor. Only, she doesn't make it the short distance.

"Selia!" Marcus shouts when he sees his daughter falling.

For her, the bright lights twist and the electric hum of the Ark is drowned by a high-pitched ringing. She barely registers her father and Abby running towards her before everything goes black.

* * *

So, what do you guys think?

These first few chapters are going to kind of bounce around like this one, but I promise it won't be like that for the whole story. I'm just trying to introduce everyone and everything before I get deep into the plot.

Please review and let me know what you think! I love feedback so much and it means the world to me!

Also, I think I'm going to just upload the first four chapters today since those are so introductory.

Thank you so much for reading,

\- V :)


	2. Chapter 2

_"She's going to die," Selia whispers to Abby. "Isn't she?"_

 _"Your mother is very strong, Selia. She can still pull through," the doctor tries to convince her best friend's seven-year-old, but her words aren't as confident as they would be if she believed them. "Why don't you go talk to her? She needs to hear your voice."_

 _The little girl with braided pigtails stares up unsure at the woman and Abby nods encouragingly, pushing her towards the door. Hesitantly, Selia wanders into the pristine area full of beds with curtains to separate them. Marcus is sitting beside the bed where his wife lays and the machine she's connected to by several wires is next to him. Selia is entranced for a moment by the lines spiking on the screen and the slow beeps that accompany it, but when she realizes how fast her heart pounds in comparison, she knows it's too slow to mean any good._

 _Her gaze shifts to her dad who looks beyond tired and scared, a sight she's never seen. He's always so well put together, but now his hair is all wayward, his eyes hollow with dark circles beneath them, and there's rims of red around them to show he was crying earlier. The image of her father so upset forms a lump in her throat which she struggles to swallow as she finally stops on the other side of the bed._

 _Laney Kane, Sergeant and Head Guard of Alpha Station, the person Selia is certain is responsible for all the stars in space, is now as fragile as glass facing a hammer. She's thin and small, drowning in the hospital sheets, pale as the moon and cold like ice. Her green eyes are glossy, sunken into her head, and purple colors the bags under them like bruises from a fight. The same hair that matches Selia's is long gone, leaving only a bald head to reflect the lights dully. And if that's not enough to taint the mother's image, she's connected to so many tubes and wires, it makes her seem less human and more machine._

 _Yet, despite all of this, Laney's blue-tinted lips curl up in a gentle smile when she sees her young daughter._

 _"Selly," she murmurs. Her voice, one that has been giving orders to others every day for years, is so weak, it shivers through the air and terrifies the child. "My sweet girl."_

 _"Mom," Selia whispers as if she's unsure that it's truly her. Tears fill her eyes and quickly trickle down her cheeks._

 _"Oh, don't cry," her mother pleads. "Don't be sad."_

 _"When are you going to get better?" The question is so simple, so expectant. Why would such a young child believe there wasn't a way to heal from an illness? Why would a child accept such a horrible fate for her mother?_

 _"Come closer, baby," Laney requests and Selia moves towards her head so she won't have to strain to meet the little girl's gaze. "Sometimes we don't get better until we've passed."_

 _"What do you mean?" Little Sel demands, her voice a weakened cry._

 _"I'm very sick and the doctors have done everything they can –"_

 _"No," Selia interrupts. "No, Abby said you can still get better. She said you were strong!"_

 _"The truth can be painful," Laney explains. "But it's still the truth and I won't get better until I return to the Earth."_

 _"No!" Selia argues stubbornly, looking to her dad for support, but he gazes back sadly. "You have to get better! You have to get better here and now!"_

 _"Selia, listen to me," she pleads. "I love you so, so much. Everything is going to be okay."_

 _"No, it won't! Not if you don't stay!"_

 _"Don't be afraid, Selly. Be strong, for me."_

 _"Mommy, please," Selia begs as the tears drip from her chin and stain her shirt._

 _"Close your eyes," Laney urges, reaching for her daughter's hand._

 _"W-why?"_

 _"I want you to say the Traveler's Blessing with me."_

 _Selia hesitates, glancing at her father again, but does as her mother requested. Wet lashes brush over her skin as tears continue to leak from the corners of her eyes and they begin the blessing her Nana had taught her together. Laney's voice fades, however, growing weaker with every word until only Selia finishes. And the moment she wishes they'll meet again, the long tone of a heart not beating fills the room._

…

Fluorescent light shines over Selia as her eyes begin to open, squinting in the brightness. Her head weighs heavy on the thin pillow and her arm feels like it's being restrained. As she manages to open her eyes completely, she realizes where she is and nearly groans in disappointment. Med Bay is quite possibly her least favorite place on the entire Ark and waking up in a hospital bed with a tube sticking out of her arm is a living nightmare.

Shifting her head to the side to glare at the needle poking into her vein, she catches sight of her father scrubbing his face harshly with his hands.

"Dad," she croaks with a dry throat.

"Selly," the Head of the Guard, who looks like he's seen better days, breathes in relief. He gently brushes the wisps of copper hair from her face. The cold exterior he carried before now completely left behind. "You scared me half to death."

"What happened?" Selia mumbles, comforted by her father's presence, but confused by how she ended up here.

"You fainted," he tells her.

"Fainted?"

"Selia," Abby greets with a warm smile as she pushes through the curtain. "I'm glad you're awake. You gave us a scare."

Confusion clouds her tired mind, but she slowly regains memory of what happened right before everything went black. Despite Abby being saved by Chancellor Jaha, a wave of anger falls over her because Marcus was responsible for the whole ordeal. However, she feels weak like a small child and her father's warm hand covering her cold one is too comforting for her to continue being mad and pull away.

"Do you know why this happened to her?" Kane demands.

"Well," Abby begins her explanation without even sparing a glance in his direction. "Evan says you haven't been eating much lately so until we get the results of the blood test, I'm going to guess that low-blood sugar and stress caused you to pass out."

"Why haven't you been eating, Sel?" He questions in a far nicer voice.

"I have been eating," she lies. "I'm sure Evan was just exaggerating."

"You're in a hospital bed. He clearly was not exaggerating."

"Well," Selia sighs as she struggles to sit up straight. "I'll just go to Mess and eat now."

"Hey, don't touch that," Marcus scolds as his daughter reaches for the I.V.

"Selia, you can't take that out yet," Abby adds. "You need the fluids so just relax."

The young guard huffs in frustration while her father rolls his eyes. Abby says she'll come back to check on her in a bit, leaving the Kane family alone.

"Are you going to tell me why you haven't been eating?" Marcus asks. His voice is more suspicious now, but the concern still shines in his eyes.

"I have been eating, just not enough apparently," Selia tries to assure, knowing exactly what thought is going through his mind before he says it.

"The last time you stopped eating, it was because of Bell –"

"Dad, I swear," she cuts him off before he can finish the name. "It wasn't intentional. I wasn't even sad until today."

"Right," he sighs. "Selia, I know I seem like the bad guy, but everything I do is for you and our people. I know arresting Abby and sending those kids to the Ground was harsh, but we're running out of time so extreme measures must be taken."

"But Dad," she murmurs, "what happens when things are okay again and we have to live with those extreme measures?"

"As long as you're okay in the end, then it's worth it, Selly."

…

Commander Shumway comes in, insisting that it's urgent, so Selia tells her father to go back to work. With a kiss on the forehead, she's left alone with nothing but the I.V. drip for company. She dozes for a bit as she's unable to fight the fatigue until Abby returns with the results of her blood tests.

The doctor sits on the edge of Selia's hospital bed with an expression the young guard doesn't understand. She sits up so they can talk, but a nervous feeling settles in the pit of her stomach.

"Is everything okay, Abby?"

"Selia," the mother figure sighs as she gazes sadly at the young woman. "I'm afraid low blood sugar isn't the problem."

"So, what is?" Sel presses.

"I don't how to say this…You're – you're sick, sweetheart."

"Sick?" She repeats, swallowing the lump forming in her throat.

"You were so young when it started, you probably never saw the signs, so you wouldn't recognize it now," Abby explains. "Loss of appetite and fatigue seem like they could be anything, but it's beginning symptoms."

"What – what are you saying?" Selia demands.

"It's cancer, Selia. I'm so sorry."

That word is one the young guard hates more than any curse in existence. She stills remembers the first time she heard it when she was five and not understanding the severity of it. Then, she thought cancer equated to a cold or the flu. Why would a child know anything about diseases or illnesses that surpassed a runny nose and a scratchy throat? Why would that same child believe something so _incurable_ could exist and arrive to take her mother away?

That single word became the focus of the Kane family's lives for the next two years and when those six letters finally stole Laney, the word became forbidden.

Yet, Abby uses it like it isn't a knife slicing everyone open to bleed them dry.

Unable to respond or accept what the doctor has told her, Selia falls into a thick state of denial. She swings her legs over the edge of the bed and tears the tape holding the I.V. to her skin. The needle is yanked from the vein, ripping the skin, and releasing a thin stream of blood. Pain bites her, but Selia doesn't pay it any attention as she grabs her shoes from the corner.

"Selia, you can't leave!" Abby says quickly, but the auburn-haired girl ignores her completely. "Sel, honey, we need to talk about this, about treatment!"

The youngest Kane picks up her pace, her socks sliding over the floor as she runs out of Med Bay and past the long line of people who actually want to talk to the doctor. She doesn't stop until she makes it home and, only when she's breathless and locked in her bathroom, does let the word sink through her skin.

 _Cancer._

 _It's not true_ , she tries to tell herself.

Selia glares at her reflection in the mirror, but the image only confirms what Abby told her. She remembers the way her mom looked at the end of her life and now she can't believe it never occurred to her before now. Like Laney, her skin is paler than a ghost, the dark circles swell beneath her eyes, and her bones stick out, sharp enough to pierce paper. And the vomiting, the bloody noses, the endless exhaustion, all of that haunted her mother for two years before she finally died.

 _Died._

Laney Kane died. She fought and she fought, but it all amounted to nothing because the young mother still died in a hospital bed. Her body betrayed her and so did all the medicine that promised it wouldn't.

Now, Selia has to suffer the same?

Abruptly, she leaves the bathroom so she can't see herself anymore and pauses at the window gazing down at Earth.

Sel lived a good life on the Ark. She had the job she wanted, a father who loved her, memories of a wonderful mother, and friends who meant to the world to her. She was content to live the only life possible. She would work, get married someday, have the single child permitted, and hold onto the idea that her great, great grandchild would be one of the first to set their feet on the Ground. It was the best life anyone up there could live and that never really bothered Selia.

But then her father told her that the Ark was dying.

Now, there are children on the Ground with no idea what's going on while desperate measures are being taken up here, not to save everyone, but to save the human race.

And Selia Kane has cancer.

The young guard turns away from the planet below and goes digging through a drawer by her bed. She finds the small tablet and powers it on to play the last video she has of her mother. In seconds, Marcus' voice comes through the speaker which is followed by the childlike giggle of seven-year-old Selia and, finally, by Laney's soft laughter.

 _"Would you put that thing away?"_

Laney's smile is tired, but still brighter than most. All her hair is gone and she wears nothing to cover it while they're inside the home. She lays on the couch, waving her husband away while Selia holds a large textbook beside her.

 _"Keep reading, Selly."_

The child keeps reading her ocean book aloud while Laney 'oohs' and 'ahs' over all the facts her daughter finds so fascinating. All Marcus does is record his wife and daughter talking happily as if she isn't deathly ill and everything is right in the Kane family's life. The video is all laughter and smiles until the coughing starts.

Selia watches as the tablet falls from her father's hands, blocking the recording of what happens next, but she remembers all too well. Her mother started coughing midsentence and couldn't stop as the blood dribbled from her mouth. She and her father rushed to help, but there was nothing they could do. Laney coughed so hard that she blacked out and Marcus had to carry her to Med Bay where she spent the rest of her short life.

This is the last moment her mother was ever in their home.

Tears fill her eyes as she tosses the device aside. She sinks to the floor, wrapping her arms around her legs, feeling how thin she's truly become. A sob shudders through her chest as reality finally hits her. There is only one way this ends and she's terrified of it.

…

 _Bang! Bang! Bang!_

"Selia, open up! We need to talk!"

Selia is shaken from her light sleep by Abby shouting through the door. She climbs to her feet, wobbling as fast as she can to silence the doctor. When the door swings open, the copper-haired girl peers through swollen eyes while the older woman invites herself into the Kane residence.

"Honey, why did you run off like that?" Abby demands. "We need to get you back to Med Bay."

"I'm not spending any more time there," Selia mutters as she scrubs her eyes.

"We need to start your treatment, Selia. The sooner the better. I know you don't like it there, but it –"

"There's not going to be any treatment," she cuts the doctor off in soft voice.

"What?"

"I don't want the treatment, Abby."

"Selia," Abby gazes at the girl with wide, concerned eyes. "Without the treatment, you will –"

"Die," she finishes. "Without the treatment, I'll die. With the treatment, I'll die."

"You don't know that. We found this a lot sooner than we did with your mother. Jackson and I have already made a treatment plan. Selia, you have a good chance," the doctor promises.

"Abby, let's say the treatment will work. We don't have enough time. The Ark is dying and extreme measures are being taken. I mean, we sent a hundred children to Earth. We don't have the time to devote to my treatment and there's no point in wasting the resources."

"No, it's not a waste of resources and we will make time!"

"I watched my mom die from this. You watched her die from this," Selia reminds the doctor sadly. "It was horrible and the treatment just made it last longer. I don't want to go through that. I don't want to be dying for years. Without the treatment, I only have a few months, if that long."

"Selia, I will not let you do this. You will have the treatment and you will get better."

"It's not your choice, Abby."

"I promised Laney I would take care of you," her mother figure says as tears fill her eyes.

"So, take care of me. Don't make me suffer longer than I have to."

Abby shakes her head as the tears trickle down her cheeks, but nothing she says sways the young woman. Selia is refusing treatment, she's accepting the death she believes is unavoidable, and there is nothing anyone can do to change that.

…

Selia, once again, lays sprawled out on the bathroom floor, having just dry heaved over the toilet for what felt like forever. She's content to just stay there and sleep, far too tired to drag herself the short distance to bed, but the rest of the world has a different idea. Someone else decides to pound on her door with an insistence that the poor girl can't ignore.

She barely has enough energy to crawl to her feet, but she fights the exhaustion long enough to rinse her mouth and find out who waits impatiently on the other side of the door. When Selia finally opens it, she can't help but glare at her friend.

"Reyes, what the hell?" The older girl sighs. Raven's annoyed expression turns to one of confusion as she looks Selia over.

"Why do you look like shit?" she questions as she pushes past the guard to enter the Kane residence.

"Hi, Raven. Please, come in and make yourself at home," Selia grumbles.

"Did you know?" The young mechanic demands, getting right to the point.

"Know what?"

"About the prisoners, the hundred?"

"H-how do you know?" Selia's eyes go wide while anger flashes over Raven's.

"You did know!" Raven growls. "How could you not tell me?"

The young guard flounders in confusion as she tries to figure out how Raven found out about this. Of course, Selia felt guilty when she learned the plan and wanted to tell her friend, but she couldn't. She just planned to keep an eye on Finn, her boyfriend, until everyone knew.

"Finn is down there!" Raven yells.

"I wasn't allowed to tell anyone," Selia defends herself quickly.

"Nobody had to know that you told me," she snaps.

"Raven, there was nothing that could be done to stop it and I know you. You would have gotten yourself into trouble trying." Selia returns, receiving a scowl in return. "How did you even find out? What did you do?"

"I was trying to get answers."

Selia groans in worry and irritation. "What the hell did you do?"

"I went to GoSci, I saw the screens and the bracelets," Raven clarifies.

"You saw the bracelets? How?" The young guard questions nervously.

"Dr. Griffin showed them to me."

"Oh, God! Raven, you got caught!"

"She let me go," the mechanic shrugs.

"So help me," Selia sighs. "You are going to get yourself floated! I didn't save your annoying ass so you could die not even a year later!"

"I needed answers!"

"Well, you got them. Now, stay out of trouble. If my dad had caught you, you wouldn't have been so lucky," she tells her. "People have been floated for a lot less."

"You should have –" Raven's words cut off as her brows furrow. "Your nose is bleeding."

Selia's hand flies up to touch the fresh trail and sighs in exhaustion.

"Look, anything else I learn, I will tell you. Just promise that you won't do anything else to risk getting in trouble," she requests, wiping the blood away.

"Yeah, okay," Raven agrees in a strange tone, still staring with a furrowed expression at her older friend. "Sel…are you alright?"

"Yeah," Selia lies as best as she's able. "Of course."

She forces a smile, doing her best to hide the toll her illness has already taken, but Raven sees through it. Selia feels guilty as she ignores the concern etched over her friend's face and shows her to the door, but the truth is even less comforting than her lies.

And she's not entirely sure she can handle saying the truth aloud yet.

* * *

I'll just post the next two chapters in an hour or so.

So, I don't want to say a specific cancer because I need to be able to manipulate it to go with the plot, but for now it's going to just strongly resemble leukemia.

Enjoy!

\- V :)


	3. Chapter 3

_The familiar computerized voice orders for an emergency support team to go to Airlock B-17 as an alarm wails around the Ark. Selia and Evan, along with two other guards, head to the source in silence, uncertain what could have caused the breach. Of course, when they arrive, they find a perpetrator, but the younger Kane is slightly surprised to see the unknown boy in a space suit._

 _"There he is," Evan says, equally as disgusted with the newfound criminal as the other two men. Selia isn't sure what exactly this kid did, although his attire gives away some big clues, but she does know the cost is a heavy price for everyone in the space station._

 _"Am I going to get in trouble for this?" The boy practically scoffs at the sight of the four people sent to arrest him and his nonchalance angers the guards._

 _"You think this is a joke, boy?" Walters, the highest ranking of the four, growls._

 _"You went for a spacewalk?" Selia questions in a far calmer tone as she pieces everything together. "Why?"_

 _The boy shrugs, but his arrogance falters briefly. It's just enough for the female guard to catch, which leads her to believe he's far sorrier than he acts._

 _"He probably wasn't alone," Walters decides. "Kane, search the section."_

 _Selia hesitates when she sees the fear flash over the spacewalker's eyes, but she follows her orders anyway._

 _Searching the small section as she hears the others taking care of the rest of the investigation, she stops dead in her tracks as her flashlight shines over the terrified eyes of a hidden girl. Selia's stomach twists in a knot as she lowers the light, realizing immediately why she's hiding. It's the young guard's job to arrest this kid, but she wouldn't be hiding if she wasn't old enough to be floated._

 _Selia can see the tears in her eyes spill over as Walters' voice echoes around them when he arrests the boy. It's obvious he's trying to take the fall completely so he can protect whoever she is and that just makes Kane sicker._

 _"Kane, what's taking so long?" The senior guard demands._

 _She's torn with the decision that she only has seconds to make. This girl broke the law and quite possibly caused an extreme amount of oxygen to be wasted. As a guard, her job is to protect the people of the Ark and to do that she must enforce the laws. Her father would arrest this kid without question. He wouldn't take joy in it, but he always does what's best for their people as a whole. However, Selia believes her mother, if she were still alive, would be just at odds with this choice as she is now._

 _"Kane!"_

 _"It's clear!" She shouts back before she can think better of it. The other girl's eyes widen in disbelief as she hears the guard's next words. "There's no one else here!"_

…

The door slams shut as Marcus enters the Kane home. Selia looks up from the book she's been reading on the couch and takes in the angry scowl her father is wearing. He tears his jacket off and throws it on the hook.

"Dad, what's wrong?" Selia questions in concern.

"The Chancellor abstained," he growls.

"Abstained from what?"

"A vote that could have saved lives," he explains vaguely before stomping away from her.

"Okay…" Selia mutters, confused, but not particularly interested in pushing him when he's in a mood.

Instead, she decides to go find Abby and get more information. Their only interactions lately have consisted of the doctor pushing treatment and the guard vehemently denying it. So, suffice to say Selia hasn't been very interested in socializing, no matter how much she loves Abby. Now, however, seems like a good time as she won't get the answers she wants while her father is this angry.

Unfortunately, she doesn't find the person she's looking for, just a line of citizens waiting to be helped as they cough and groan from whatever illness plagues them. Selia is confused by the sight. Sure, there are always people waiting to be seen by a doctor, but never this many.

"Selia," Jackson calls, forcing the young girl to tear her eyes away from the children waiting with their parents. The young doctor approaches her with wide eyes, happier to see her than she would expect. "Are you here for –"

"No," she cuts him off quickly, knowing exactly what he's getting ready to ask. "No, I'm just looking for Abby."

Jackson appears disappointed that she denied treatment once again, but spares her another lecture. "I'm not sure actually, but if you find her, tell her we need some help."

Abby's absence from Med Bay further confuses Selia, especially with the amount of people waiting for a doctor. The young guard leaves with no idea where the older woman could be, but on her walk home, she's so distracted by trying to come up with ideas, she collides with a hard chest.

Two firm hands grip her shoulders, steadying her from the disorientation.

"Sel, where the hell have you been?" The familiar voice of her best friend demands.

"Huh?" she mumbles, glancing up at Evan's concerned hazel gaze.

"I've been looking everywhere for you."

"I was at home," she says.

"I was knocking on your door for like twenty minutes!"

"You were? I – I must have been sleeping."

Evan's brows furrow as he looks Selia over in worry. "What did Abby say when she released you?"

The girl falters, but forces a lie anyway. "It was just low blood sugar."

"That's it?" he questions, clearly not believing her.

"Yeah, thanks for telling them I haven't been eating by the way," Selia quips.

"Well, after last time –"

"It's not like last time!"

"Okay," Evan mutters, raising his hands innocently after her sharp tone. "Can't blame a guy for being concerned, though."

Selia rolls her eyes, moving past him while he follows.

"So, I guess you heard," he says as they walk down the corridor together.

"Heard what?"

"About Blake," Evan clarifies. "Sneaking on the dropship, trying to kill the Chancellor… I told you he was no good."

"You don't know that he tried to kill Jaha. It could have been anyone."

Marks stops in his tracks, grabbing Selia's elbow to stop her as well. "Are you serious?" he demands.

"What?"

"How much time has to pass before you stop defending that asshole?"

"I'm not defending him," she argues, pulling her arm from his grasp. "I'm just saying."

"You are, Sel. You always do," Evan snaps. "It's been three years, you don't owe him anything. You can't just keep blindly trusting people, especially people who betray you."

"I'm not –"

"You already got your heart broken once. I won't let it happen again."

"Ev, I'm fine. Just relax," Selia sighs. "I don't even know why you're worried about this right now. He's on Earth, I can't get much farther from him."

"That's the worst part, Sel," Evan mutters sadly. "I don't think distance matters when it comes to Bellamy because the break-up sure didn't change anything."

Selia's best friend walks away while she stands there with a scowl. It's not the first time Evan has said something like that and he doesn't even know that she found Bellamy on the dropship. She wouldn't live it down if he did. It is hard for her to argue with him because he's not entirely wrong. She has been protecting Bellamy Blake for years, even after her he left her feeling like she never meant anything to him.

It's embarrassing to still love a boy who probably never really loved her, but she can't help it and she doesn't need Evan or her father reminding her how wrong it is every two seconds.

…

Selia's heart sinks as she stares at the voided screen which once held Clarke's picture and vitals. She remembers when the blonde was born. Her mother took her to see Abby and the newborn baby when she was six. Laney was already sick and fear was becoming the only thing the Kane family knew as the cancer continued to worsen with each passing day, but the birth of her best friend's daughter was enough to push it aside for a little while.

Abby let Selia sit in the chair and hold baby Clarke, making her feel like a big kid. When the newborn cooed happily in her arms, the girl couldn't help but beam with pride. She promised the doctor then and there that she would always take care of the newest addition of the Griffin family – like the big sister no one ever had.

But she didn't.

She couldn't stop Clarke from being arrested or sent to the Ground. Now, the signal on her bracelet has been lost and there's no way to know who has the right theory.

Unable to stare at it any longer, she leaves Go-Sci, but doesn't return to her post. Instead, she wanders the station and thinks about Earth.

All anyone on the Ark has ever truly wanted is to get out of this tin can. To feel dirt beneath their feet and the sun on their face, that was the dream. Who didn't wonder what the air smelt like or how fresh water felt on their skin? Selia had spent her entire life looking out the window at the planet still turning even without people to inhabit it, wishing for just one day of freedom.

It felt wrong to send those kids there, but the truth is that she's jealous. They're all dying , not just Selia from cancer or the hundred from radiation, but everyone on the Ark as well. The oxygen is running out, getting worse, and the effects are hurting everyone. At least, if those kids die, it's not a fun death, but it's on the Ground.

Selia sways and stumbles into the wall suddenly, grabbing her head as the lights tilt around her. She squeezes her eyes shut and tries to breathe through the dizziness until it passes.

When her equilibrium returns, she pushes off the wall and continues on her unknown path. Somehow, she ends up in the Mess where Vera Kane is setting up to hold a sermon with the young Tender of the Tree.

"Hey, Nana," she calls when the woman doesn't notice she's here.

Vera turns around at the sound of her granddaughter's voice while a huge smile breaks out on her face. "Is that my beautiful granddaughter?"

For some reason, Selia grows sad when her Nana wraps her in a hug. Maybe it's because she hasn't seen her in a couple of weeks or maybe it's the limited time she has left to see her because of the death sentence her own body has given her. Either way, the guard's bony arms tighten around the eldest Kane while she forces back the tears welling in her brown eyes.

"Is everything okay, sweetheart?" Vera questions in concern and Selia struggles to hide the tremble in her voice as she replies.

"Yeah, of course."

"You need to get more sleep," she decides. "Don't let them work you so hard, Selly."

"I know, you should talk to the Head of the Guard," Selia jokes.

Selia enjoys talking to her grandmother and helps set up before the others arrive. She sits at the front, listening to her Nana's warm voice without really hearing her words. The youngest of the Kane family kept faith longer than her father, but eventually she stopped attending, too. Perhaps, it's unfair of her to return to God as she teeters on the edge of living, but she finds comfort she didn't expect to here.

Listening to Vera makes her think of her mother. Laney had the gentlest voice when her daughter was scared and Selia is more terrified than she cares to admit. It's been so long, though, since she heard it, she struggles to remember the sound clearly. Of course, sadness consumes her as well with that. One, because she misses her mom and two, because she knows her father would comfort her the way Laney would have if he had any idea what his daughter was experiencing.

Selia just can't find it in herself to share the news with Marcus yet.

"Are you here to join us?" Nana Vera asks with a bright smile and everyone glances back to find Selia's father.

All three remaining members of the Kane family in the same room. The youngest can't remember the last time this happened.

"He's here to see me, Vera," Nygel says from around the corner. "Go on with your mumbo-jumbo."

Selia rolls her eyes at Nygel's insult before meeting her father's gaze. There's only the briefest flash of surprise at her attendance, but he turns away to go speak with the known criminal in charge of culinary. Though she can't hear them, she watches the exchange carefully until Marcus turns to meet her gaze once again.

There's something in his expression, something that pierces her heart with nerves. She watches him leave the Mess and, after a minute of contemplation, she hurries after him.

Unfortunately, he's completely out of sight by the time she gets to the corridor and she sighs worriedly before just deciding to head home.

…

When Selia walks into her home, she's met with the chime of the tablet ringing. She picks it up from the couch where Marcus left it and answers the call from Abby, but it's Raven's face who pops up on the screen.

"Sel, I need your help!" The mechanic says urgently.

"What's wrong?" she questions in concern.

"Look, we don't have a lot of time, so I can't explain, but I need you to get two spacesuits with helmets from the airlock on Sub 3 and meet me in G-7," Raven tells her quickly.

"W-what?"

"You have to hurry! It's life or death, Selia."

With that, the screen goes black.

"What the hell?"

Beyond confused and worried, she can't help but rush to the sublevel Raven said. A bad feeling clouds in her lungs, but it only pushes her to a jog the more she wonders how her friend could have gotten herself into a life or death situation.

Despite the wheeze fighting each breath and the fatigue making all her muscles weigh her down, she still manages to run faster than most. Soon, she's basically stealing spacesuits from a level she knows Raven isn't authorized to be in and pulling the buzzer outside of G-7. Said mechanic opens the sliding door and yanks her through it before slamming it shut.

"We have to go," Raven says quickly, taking one of the suits from Selia's grasp. "Put that one on."

"What?" Selia can only seem to mutter the single word.

"We have to go, Sel. Your father and guards are coming to arrest Abby and me. She went to buy me time, but we have to go now."

"Go where? What the hell are you talking about?" The young guard demands.

"Earth," the dark-haired girl explains. "You know everything that's going on. Abby had me rebuild this, so we could go down and prove the hundred survived. If we don't, they'll kill three hundred people on the Ark."

"They'll w-what?" Nothing Raven says makes any sense to Selia and the mechanic sighs in frustration as she grabs her friend's shoulders.

"I will explain everything once we launch, but I need you to trust me," Raven pleads. "I had a faulty pressure regulator and the only way to survive the drop is with these suits. Abby told me to go without her and she would buy us time, but we both know they'll catch you if you try to go home. I can't let you get floated, but this was the only way I could think of in time."

Selia gapes at the younger girl, glancing at the unfamiliar pod behind her.

"We're going to Earth," Raven continues when Selia doesn't reply. "I'm sorry to spring this on you, but –"

"I can't just leave, my dad is here, my Nana, Evan –"

"They'll float you," Raven cuts her off without patience. "I can't let that happen. I'm sorry, Sel, but we can save everyone. You'll see them again."

Selia's head starts to ache because she can't seem to understand what's happening. Yet, a voice in the back of her mind reminds her of the cancer eating her body from the inside out and the dream of Earth she's had her entire life.

"I need you to trust me," Raven pleads. "This is the second time you've saved me and I can't let you take the fall for it this time. I promise, you'll see them again."

The idea of leaving is insane and doing so without even seeing her father is even worse, but then that voice whispers again and Raven's eyes bore into hers desperately. The dull ache resonates throughout body, the unceasing exhaustion, the memories left from her mother dying there to remind her of what she'll face soon. The end is coming no matter what she does.

" _Sel_."

The young guard swallows hard as she stares at the spacesuit in her hands.

 _Earth…_

* * *

Next chapter, Earth and Bellamy!

Please review :)


	4. Chapter 4

_"Dad, please!" Selia begs desperately as tears fill her eyes. "What was he supposed to do?"_

 _"Not only did he break one of the biggest laws we have, he was training to be a guard! He's over the age of maturity, he committed a capital crime, he is getting floated," Marcus insists sharply._

 _"He didn't choose to be an older brother," Selia argues. "He just took care of her like he should!"_

 _"Enough, we are not arguing about this, Selia! I know you cared about him and I'm sorry, but the laws were made for a reason. If we don't follow them –"_

 _"Dad," she murmurs as the tears spill. "I love him. I – I know I shouldn't, but I do. So, please…please don't let them hurt him."_

 _Marcus looks at his daughter's broken expression and the cold exterior he wears to do his job melts. He would do anything to protect her and when Bellamy Blake broke her heart, he failed._

 _However, now he'll be the one to hurt her if he follows through with his job._

…

"Ugh," Selia groans as she comes back to consciousness.

Her fragile body aches all over from the rough landing they experienced. There's a throbbing in her head like a second pulse, but she takes the pain as a good sign because it means she's alive. Moving her stiff muscles, she yanks her gloves off before unlatching her helmet. Despite feeling hurt, she doesn't find any wounds or blood so she exhales in relief and shifts to check on Raven.

"Reyes, I think we made it," she says weakly. For some reason, it feels like a far stretch as she reaches to remove her friend's helmet. Selia immediately grows concerned when she sees the blood. "You alive?"

Raven groans in response, but doesn't open her eyes. Selia examines the wound on her forehead to see it's more blood than cut, but she still worries about the young mechanic having a concussion. Unlatching the straps keeping her in place, the older girl struggles for a moment to kick open the hatch, but as soon as she does, fresh air comes in to kiss her skin.

Distracted, Selia fumbles out of the pod's wreckage to meet the Earth for the first time. The ground is soft beneath her boots and adapts to her weight as she carefully walks over it. The air is cool and crisp, and it fills her lungs in the most soothing manner she can imagine. What she can only conclude is rain drizzles from the grey sky, dampening her messy braid and the space suit still confining her body.

Selia's eyes roam the forest surrounding her, finding the purest shades of green and brown towering over her in the forms of trees. There are no pictures or books in existence that could ever properly describe the beauty she's seeing finally. She's so overcome by the place she could only dream about that tears begin to sting her eyes.

Wanting to feel more of the fresh air on her skin, she starts climb out of the space suit, letting the bulky material pool at her feet as she stomps her way out of it. The well-trained guard is so distracted that she doesn't even register the approach of someone on the other side of the pod. She's focused on trying to pull her jacket off her shoulders when she remembers Raven is still inside so she rushes to the open hatch to wake her.

"Reyes, you've got to get out here!" Selia chimes, but the only response she's met with is the hatch on her friend's side slamming shut.

Selia is startled, even more so when she sees the mechanic is still buckled inside, so she moves cautiously around the front of the pod just in time to see a tall figure running into the tree line with something in his hand.

"Hey!" she shouts, but doesn't follow as she moves to Raven's side to see what the person took.

Almost immediately, her brown eyes land on the cut wires where the radio should be and, just as quickly, she takes off after the thief.

Selia runs head-first into unknown territory, dirt and twigs crunching beneath her boots as she pushes herself faster. The young guard isn't sure if it's the unfamiliar ground slowing her down or the soreness in her weak body, but she does her best to ignore it in order to catch up with the boy.

He comes into view as her breathing turns to useless wheezes. There's something familiar about the back of the black-haired boy, but Selia's vision starts to blur and the trees seem to spin. She shouts for him to stop as loud as she can while her legs slow without permission. Frustrated beyond belief, Kane comes to a wobbly halt and pulls the gun from the holster on her hip.

In the silence of Earth's forest, the bullet entering the chamber rings out around them along with Selia's shallow breaths.

"Stop or I'll shoot!" She croaks and the boy wisely comes to a halt.

The cool air stings her throat as she tries to calm her burning lungs and stop her hand from shaking as she points the weapon. Selia waits for the blurriness in her eyes to clear enough to see the target before she speaks again.

"Put the radio down on the ground," she orders. " _Gently_."

As she watches him follow her directions, Selia realizes there's something eerily recognizable about him. His dark hair, his height, his tan hands, and the black jacket shielding his broad shoulders – she knows this boy without a doubt.

"Turn around," she says next, but the thief hesitates. "Do it now or get a bullet in your leg!"

His shoulders slump in defeat before he turns to face the guard.

Selia's heart completely stops as she stares wide-eyed at a face she knows well.

"Bellamy?" she murmurs.

She stares at the dark eyes she once believed she knew well as he meets her gaze sadly. He doesn't seem as surprised, probably because he recognized her voice as she shouted, but confusion seems to color both of their expressions.

Selia thought about the fact that seeing him would be unavoidable, but she didn't expect it to happen minutes within landing on the Ground. It was the only part she really found comfort in as Raven explained everything that the young guard had been unaware of on the Ark, but, of course, there's no comfort to be found.

"What are you doing?" Selia asks in a meek version of her voice. Her arm lowers without permission and replaces the gun on her hip as she waits for him to reply.

Clearly, Bellamy can't speak either because his mouth opens, but no words leave his tongue.

"Why did you take the radio?" Selia presses when the silence envelopes them.

After another wave of quiet falls over them before he answers.

"You know what I did," he whispers.

Disappointment consumes the young guard as Bellamy confirms what she's been trying to deny since her father told her what happened. Her eyes drift down to where the radio lays, trying to force herself to believe the truth.

"What does the radio have to do with it?" she demands, though her tone is still soft.

Bellamy looks away in an attempt to hide his shame when Selia's piercing gaze lands on him again. "I'm dead if they come down here," he mutters.

Selia's stomach twists sharply in disgust and she has to take a cooling breath to keep from purging the contents of her empty stomach. He may look like him, but this is not the Bellamy Blake she loved – _loves_. He was never selfish or cruel. He didn't hurt people and he wasn't a murderer. Yet, here he stands on Earth, guilty of all four of these things.

"If they don't come down here," Selia says far stronger now, "then they will all die."

"What are you talking about?" Bellamy questions in confusion.

"Why do you think they sent all those kids down here?" She returns, her voice growing sharper with each word. "The Ark is dying and our people don't have a lot of time left. Earth is the only hope. And if we can't radio to tell them the hundred are alive, three hundred innocent people will die to give the rest more time."

Bellamy's horrified expression is almost enough to make Selia feel bad for him, but she remains strong. If all those innocent people die from what she can only imagine was her father's idea, then there is no way anything Bellamy has done can be justified.

"I – I didn't know, Sel."

"The Chancellor isn't dead," she says. "We don't have a lot of time."

…

"Sel!" Raven shouts when the guard and Bellamy break through the tree line. She comes running towards the pair, worry uncharacteristically showing on her face.

"The radio dislodged from the pod when we crashed." Selia doesn't intend to hide what Bellamy did, but the lie slips from her lips before she gives it any thought. She catches the look of surprise on his face from the corner of her eye and Raven's questioning expression. "I found it in the woods. Ran into him, too."

Raven examines the wires which were clearly sliced with a knife and raises a brow at the guard. However, the look in Selia's eyes silences the questions the mechanic is prepared to ask.

"Selia," a familiar voice calls.

The young guard turns away from her friend to see the blonde girl approaching. Selia meets the wide, blue-eyed gaze as her jaw drops and a wave of relief warms her.

"Clarke?"

"She said you were here, but I – I didn't believe it…"

"Your signal went dead," Selia murmurs in return. "I couldn't believe you were gone."

The pair embraces tightly, but the reunion only makes Selia sad as she thinks of the people she left without a word, without a hug.

"We need to fix this," Raven says quickly, interrupting the other girls, and bringing the guard back to the present.

Selia pulls away to look at her friend. Raven explained everything about the culling and Abby recruiting her which makes the urgency on her expression completely justified.

"How long will it take?" The older girl asks.

"Hopefully not long."

…

"The transmitter is smashed," Raven sighs in frustration.

"Well, you can fix it, right?" Clarke says expectantly.

"Unless there's a parts depot down here…"

"Raven, we have to talk to the Ark," Selia reminds her sharply. "You're a genius, surely you can come up with a way."

"Art Supply Store," Clarke mutters, looking at Finn. Selia and Raven eye the other two before sharing a confused glance. "I know a place you might be able to get a transmitter."

The mechanic gets a cautious look on her face as she looks between her boyfriend and the blonde. Selia recognizes the meaning behind it, having worn the same expression before, and quickly tries to expel the tension.

"Great," the young guard says. "Let's go now!"

Selia jumps to her feet, but she moves too quickly. She stumbles and Finn has to catch her before she completely loses her balance. The dizziness blurs her vision once more, so she squeezes her eyes shut in hopes that it will fade faster.

"Selia?" Clarke's concerned voice reminds the older girl that she's not alone.

"I'm good, just stood too fast," she mumbles, forcing a reassuring smile.

"Maybe you should stay behind," Raven suggests. "After the whole thing with your blood sugar."

"What happened with your blood sugar?" Clarke demands.

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"We won't be long," Finn assures. "We'll bring you some fruit on the way back."

"I don't need –"

" _Sel_ , we just fell from the sky and you were only in Med Bay a week ago," Raven reminds her. "Can you strip these wires for me while we're gone?"

"I'd just like to remind you all that I'm the oldest," Selia snaps.

"Yeah, you can be an old lady here, Kane," the mechanic smirks. "Abby will kill me for dragging you along anyway. Last thing we need is to give her more reason to worry."

Selia doesn't argue further, she just watches them leave with apologetic waves. As soon as they're gone, her hands fly up to massage her temples where the throbbing ache lives. She's frustrated from being treated like a child, but the truth is it's best if she stays to rest. All the running she's done, the impact on Earth, and the ceaseless exhaustion reminds her that she isn't like the others. Her body cannot handle being pushed in the effortless way Selia is used to, especially on the unfamiliar Ground.

Based on everything Clarke and Finn had told them, Selia understands that danger is everywhere. Whether it's running out of air on the Ark or being threatened by survivors on the Ground, it doesn't quite add up to the cancer killing her more and more every day. She's never been the kind of person to sit back and let others work, but she's far more limited than she cares to admit.

Her health is deteriorating and the longer she pretends that it's not, the sooner her life will come to a painful end.

…

Bored in the absence of the other three, Selia lays out on the ramp leading into the dropship and attempts to sunbathe for the first time in her entire life. Unfortunately, her peace in interrupted by a familiar voice speaking frantically. Sitting up straight, she finds Bellamy moving around the campsite in search of something. She watches him until he makes his way to her, hesitating before asking the same question he has asked everyone else.

"Have you seen Octavia?"

"No," Selia answers.

Bellamy doesn't respond as he passes her to go inside the dropship, calling his sister's name desperately. Despite having zero interest in speaking to him, Selia can't ignore the worry in his voice and the fear in his eyes. She climbs to her feet with a sigh and starts to sling her jacket back over shoulders as he exits through the makeshift curtains.

"How long has she been gone?" The guard asks when he hesitates in front of her.

"I don't know," he admits. "She followed me when I was going to find your pod and we got in a fight. I haven't seen her since and neither has anyone else."

"Well, is there anywhere people go to get away from camp or to get some quiet time?"

"The only person who leaves this camp alone like that is Finn," Bellamy informs.

"Maybe she's just hiding from you," Selia suggests as she zips the jacket.

"It's dangerous out there, Sel." The nickname slips from his lips without thought and, despite most people using it on a daily basis, she tenses when it comes from his voice. "The Grounders…"

Selia's heart twists as she takes in the ragged appearance she recognizes well. When she was forced to work through her confusion and arrest Octavia Blake, she saw the same look. Then, she saw it again when they released him after explaining that his mother would be floated for her crime. The pieces of her heart still intact after his harsh words three years ago break off because of him once more, only this time it's unintentional.

"Okay, I'll help you find her," she says gently.

Bellamy gazes down at her with a torn expression, but nods gratefully, "Thank you."

…

Selia didn't expect to ever use any of the things she learned in Earth Skills in real life, but her devotion to finishing school at the top of her class pays off as she tracks Octavia Blake through the forest. With Bellamy beside her and the large group he recruited to help behind them, the young guard follows the path of broken twigs and crushed leaves while the sun moves lower in the sky.

"We're running out of daylight," a boy shouts from the group.

"That's why we have flashlights," Bellamy replies in annoyance.

Selia scoffs quietly at the remark as they continue the trek, but she can't resist making a comment.

"So, you're the elected leader, huh?"

"Wasn't much of an election," someone grumbles and a glance over her shoulder shows Jasper Jordan is the one who spoke. She vaguely remembers that he and his friend beside him were arrested for a small and typical teenage offense.

"Someone had to lead them," Bellamy mutters.

That ends Selia's attempt to make conversation with Bellamy, but she's grateful for the two boys following as they take up that responsibility.

"So, Raven came for Finn, but how did you end up down here, Selia?" Jasper asks, moving to walk next to her.

"It wasn't planned," she admits. "Raven was in a bind and once I came to help, the only way out would have ended with my own arrest."

"Even being the daughter of the Head of the Guard?" Monty questions.

"Being a Kane and being a guard do not excuse me from the law," Selia assures. "I would have ended up with the same sentence as everyone else."

In the Kane household, the law was considered a vital piece to the human race's survival. Selia never broke it because she was raised with that important belief. However, when she followed both of her parents' footsteps to become a guard and she was introduced to a different world within her own, things changed. How could she hold fast to such rigidity when she met "criminals" like Aurora Blake, Raven Reyes, or Jake Griffin? Floating people like them seemed like a worse crime than the ones they committed.

Selia is quite certain her father has never come to the same conclusion, but she doubts her own words in reference to her execution. If he had found her, could Marcus Kane really sentence his own daughter to death?

These thoughts, of course, lead her to think about his reaction to her absence. By now, he'll have figured out that she was on the drop pod with Raven, but she has no idea how he would have taken that news.

Thankfully, those thoughts are cut off as she comes to a stop at the edge of a hill leading into a ravine. With the sun starting to set, she shines the flashlight that was hooked to her guard belt down the incline, peering for any sign that Octavia had been there.

"Look," she points at a small piece of fabric stuck to a bush. "Is that Octavia's?"

"Rope," Bellamy orders without answering the girl beside him.

"What are you doing?" Monty questions in confusion as someone hands him the rope.

"We need it to get back up," he explains briefly before quickly repelling the short distance down the hill. He examines the fabric and gives an answer immediately. "It's hers. I'm going all the way down."

Stowing her light, Selia follows him down to find him squatting by a rock. She kneels next to him to see the fresh blood on both the boulder and his fingers.

"Someone else was here," she murmurs, pointing at the shoeprints in the mud. "They're going this way. He was carrying her."

Bellamy meets her brown eyes with his own, unable to hide his horror. Selia opens her mouth to say something, comfort the boy she loved so much, but her throat goes dry.

"If they took her," Jasper says as he joins them, rescuing the young guard, "she's alive."

"Let's keep going," Selia forces out as she stands up straight. "We're getting close, I can feel it."

The group continues the search as the sky gets darker and it become Selia's first night on the ground. She wishes she could be happy about that, but she constantly glances up at the single, blinking star among the others, knowing that it is the Ark. She silently prays over and over that Raven can fix the radio in time to keep the hundreds of innocents from dying tonight.

The trek is uninterrupted until they come to a stop in shock. Lining a path through the trees are several decayed bodies hanging from the branches.

They all gape in horror while many in the group start talking about leaving. Some even turn the other way without a word and head back to camp.

"Go back if you want," Bellamy announces before turning to look specifically at his former girlfriend. "Go with them, Selia. It's dangerous."

"I'm not going back," she scoffs. The young guard tries to begin a march down the path when Bellamy's hand wraps around her elbow to pull her back.

"I don't want you getting hurt," he insists, wide eyes boring into hers. "My sister, my responsibility."

Selia, rather petulantly, tears her arm from his grasp with a glare. "When have I ever lost a fight?"

With that, she successfully leaves him behind as she's the first to brave the journey through the enemy graveyard. Even with what is clearly a warning from the Grounders, all her fears are centered on what's going on in space. She doesn't have enough to spare for herself at the moment.

* * *

So, this is the last chapter I have finished already. If the story gets any interest, I'll continue.

Please review and let me know what you think.

Thank you for reading,

-V :)


	5. Chapter 5

"I lost the trail," Selia says with a frustrated sigh.

"Keep looking," Bellamy orders.

"Wandering around aimlessly in the dark isn't going to find your sister," she snaps, but the boy continues past her. "Bellamy, we should backtrack!"

"I'm not going back," he argues.

"Bell –"

"Hey," Roma interrupts suddenly. "Where's John?"

"I just saw him a second ago," Jasper mutters.

"Spread out," Bellamy tells the small group who chose to stay. "He couldn't have gotten that far."

"Wait, we shouldn't split up," Selia argues.

"We won't go far," the older boy says, but his sentence is punctuated by something falling from a tree behind them.

Selia spins around to see John lying on the ground and she pulls her gun out immediately, aiming for the foliage. Everything is shrouded in darkness and she's left blind to their attackers. She signals with the hand not holding the weapon for the others to stay away while she approaches the teenager, kneeling beside him to see that his throat has been slit.

"We shouldn't have crossed the boundary," Diggs says.

"Now can we go back?" Roma pleads.

Selia can't remember what this John was arrested for, but his crime doesn't really matter. He didn't deserve this, none of them do. True, no one on the Ark expected there to be people on Earth, but they sent children down here as a test and didn't bother to give them food, weapons, or even training to protect themselves. They might as well have floated them instead.

"May we meet again," Selia murmurs as she closes the delinquent's eyes.

"We need to go," Bellamy urges.

"We need to get out of these woods," the guard tells him. "We need to hide."

"What are you talking about?" he demands. "My sister –"

"Can't be saved by a dead rescue party," Selia cuts him off sharply. "I know you've been here longer than me, but the Grounders still have the advantage. This is their land and they have the night. We won't make it to morning if we keep going."

"I'm not leaving Octavia in their hands any longer than necessary!"

"This is necess –"

Selia is interrupted by something whizzing past her and she barely has time to register Roma's groan of pain before she looks back to see the girl attached to one of the trees with a spear through her chest.

"I'm going to say she's right, Bellamy," Monty mutters as he gazes at Roma in horror.

"Let's go!" Selia grabs Monty's arm and takes off running so Bellamy and the rest are forced to follow without any more arguing.

While the young guard manages to 'persuade' them into hiding, she has no idea where she's going. She releases the teenager and tries to figure out where the hell she is, but Earth is incredibly confusing and the night isn't helping.

"This way!" Diggs shouts, leading them all in a different direction.

Bellamy catches up to Selia, determined to convince her that they all need to keep looking for his sister, but that's quickly put aside when Diggs trips a wire.

"Sel, watch out!" Bellamy grabs the girl and yanks her out of the way as one of the Grounders' traps swings from where it's been camouflaged.

The spikes connect with Diggs' chest, killing him instantly, and forcing him backwards into another tree. If it wasn't for Bellamy, Diggs would have taken Selia down too. Realizing this, she glances up at him in total shock, but there's no time to think about it. Two Grounders slide down the trees with their weapons ready and Selia is dragged away before she can react again.

"Run!" Bellamy yells at the others, but one of the Grounders blocks them from following the former couple.

"Wait, we have to help them!" Selia says, watching Monty, Jasper, and Monroe run the opposite direction with one of the Grounders on their tail.

"Kind of have our own problems right now, Selia!"

Bellamy is right, of course. The other Grounder follows the pair with a sword he looks like he's dying to use. Selia continues running, pushing her concern for the others aside, and soon she's reminded that she has more than one problem.

Bellamy is running full speed and, at one time, Selia could have easily passed him, but not anymore. She's starting to stumble from overexerting her fragile body while black spots fill her vision. The young guard knows she's on the verge of collapsing and that could endanger Bellamy even more. She makes a decision that she isn't entirely certain of and even as she comes to halt, her stomach twists in disagreement.

"Selia?"

Ignoring him, Selia aims her gun at the Grounder who is moving dangerously close, but another problem slaps her in the face.

She can't focus her shot.

When she pulls the trigger, for the first time in her life, she misses the target. Rather than piercing the Grounder's heart, the bullet enters his left shoulder. Selia lowers the weapon in shock, gaping at her failure, and completely forgetting that she's in a real-life situation instead of practice with the Guard. Tears fill her eyes as she realizes that her sickness has taken a talent no one else could ever outshine, but as she mourns, the Grounder starts moving towards them again with blood gushing from his shoulder.

Barely trying as her tears make everything blurry, she shoots him again. Selia has no idea if the Grounder is dead, but Bellamy doesn't waste any time trying to find out as he pulls her away once more.

…

"We should be safe here," Bellamy says as he paces the entrance of the cave. "We're leaving at first light so get some rest."

Selia is beyond exhausted, but she doesn't want to rest.

The young guard feels like her body just continues to betray her. As a girl, she watched the cancer take almost every important detail that made Laney herself, but she's only now beginning to understand exactly how that feels. This sickness isn't just going to take her life, it's going to take everything that is part of her life first.

"Sel?" Bellamy murmurs. "Are you okay?"

She looks up from her place sitting against the cave wall to find him watching her with concern. His wide, dark eyes bore into hers as if he's truly worried and something within her snaps.

"I'm fine," she says sharply.

Selia will not allow the boy who shattered her heart without mercy to even pretend for a moment that he cares about her wellbeing.

Understanding the attitude change, Bellamy sighs. "Sel, we should talk."

"I can't think of a single thing we have to talk about," she tells him dismissively.

"Selia, I'm sor –" Bellamy's apology dies on his lips when he sees the fire burning in her eyes.

She can't believe he has the audacity to give her some half-assed apology while they hide in a cave on Earth. Selia refuses to even hear the word because she knows it's meaningless. All Bellamy wants is to fill the uncomfortable silence surrounding them and it's infuriating.

He sighs again, moving to the opposite wall, and letting himself slide to the floor. Selia watches him with a tired glare, but the exhaustion is too heavy and soon takes the place of anger again.

She never could have imagined being in this situation. Even when she was hurdling towards Earth and a lifetime of opportunities flashed before her eyes, none of the things she thought included being stuck in a cave with her ex-boyfriend. For three years, they were both extremely careful to avoid the other. The only time she was forced to be around him was when Bellamy was a cadet, but then that was limited to his time in the shooting range. This is basically the closest contact they've had since their breakup.

"So, we're just going to wait in silence until dawn?" he questions.

"That sounds ideal to me," Selia quips. She hugs her knees to her chest as a shiver shudders through her thin body. Bellamy notices and frowns, but doesn't comment.

"Can I at least say thank you?"

"For what?"

"For not arresting me when you found me on the dropship," he clarifies.

"I didn't know you tried to kill the Chancellor," Selia returns.

Bellamy glances away at the reminder of his crime, shreds of guilt try to reach the surface before he shoves them back down, but not quick enough to hide from Selia. She finds herself on the cusp of asking about it, despite the battling desire to pretend he isn't there. She wants to know where he got the gun and why shooting Jaha was necessary for him to get on the dropship. No one else, including her father, seemed to care about these discrepancies, but the young guard zeroed in on them the moment she heard the news. Without a doubt, she knows there is a reason behind his actions that led him to Earth that goes far deeper than the simple answer of protecting Octavia.

Unfortunately, the truth has done nothing but tear Selia down since the hundred were sent to the Ground and she isn't sure if she really wants to hear anything else that could be so damning.

So, she accepts the silence she demanded while trying not to freeze before the sun rises.

It's so quiet between them that Selia begins to drift off, startling herself awake each time her head falls to the side. She truly feels sick now, not just tired and achy, but genuinely ill in a way she's never experienced. As if she isn't twenty-three years old, she desires her bed and her father's endless attention until she feels better. If a day home from school and Marcus reading all the books she requests could cure all that ails her, maybe Selia wouldn't feel so sad. However, knowing that can't stop the cancer and having the uncertainty of even seeing her father again in time just darkens the cloud hanging above her.

Knowing there's no way she'll be able to fight sleep in her position, Selia climbs to her feet and bounces on her toes in an attempt to stay warm. Bellamy watches her from the floor, but she refuses to meet his eyes as hers stare blindly into the night outside the cave. Perhaps sleep would have been a better option, though, because the boy across from her decides to break the silence finally.

"I know you saved me before that, too," he murmurs, but Selia hears it as a shout. "After I was arrested with my mom."

The burgundy-haired girl grinds her teeth together, telling herself to ignore him no matter what.

"They were going to float me with her. I even figured your father was itching to do it, but then they released me," he continues. "Your dad said I was lucky others are more forgiving than him."

That surprises Selia enough for her to spare a glance Bellamy's way. She didn't realize that her father had personally saw to his release or that he ever spoke to him after their relationship ended.

"I knew he was talking about you."

Of course he was talking about her. It was Selia's tearful pleading that wore Marcus Kane down until he agreed to stop the execution. The Head of the Guard wanted Bellamy Blake dead and he probably would have pushed the button to float the boy if his daughter hadn't been his greatest weakness. Her broken heart would always be his, which is why he gave in and chose to just assign Bellamy the worst job he could come up with.

"It had nothing to do with being forgiving," Selia says, unable to resist a retort.

"Then, what did it have to do with?" Bellamy questions, sounding more curious than anything.

"I didn't come here to talk about the past," Selia snaps. "I came to help you find your sister and that's it. We find Octavia and we never have to spend another minute together again."

Bellamy is surprised by the venom in her tone, but not by her words. He gives a curt nod while Selia moves far enough away that she can keep her back to him to prevent anymore unwanted discussions.

…

The moment the tiniest shard of light shines through, Bellamy and Selia return to their search, quickly reaching the place they had to abandon hours earlier. Bellamy's determination is getting in the way of his caution, leaving Selia the only one remotely concerned about the Grounders who already killed Diggs, Roma, and John. She also seems to be the only one worried about the members of their search party who were still alive the last time they saw them.

"We need to look for the others, too," she insists once again.

"We will," he agrees with a sigh. "After we find Octavia."

They continue in silence, Selia's embarrassingly strained breaths the only interruption. Trying to keep up with Bellamy's long strides is not doing any favors for her lungs, but she does her best to hide it. Her eyes dart around in search of Grounders, mentally prepared for a fight, but definitely not physically prepared. She's so focused on keeping her eyes peeled behind them, Selia walks straight into Bellamy's back when he comes to a sudden stop.

"What are you doing?" she demands.

"There's one," he points forward. Selia peers into the distance, barely making out the back of a Grounder as he hurries through the trees. "Let's go."

"Wait, Bellamy!"

He has already taken off after the Grounder, leaving Selia's concern that the man may not be the only one out here silenced. With a sigh, she follows him despite how reckless it seems.

Of course, the young guard's fears are completely justified because the Grounder they had begun to follow disappears from sight while another appears to block their path.

Bellamy and Selia stumble to a stop when they see the masked man with a large sword. Selia draws her gun before the pair turns and runs the opposite direction, but they are soon cut off by another one. Their third attempt is more successful, but a glance behind her shows Selia that there are five Grounders on their heels. She tries to push herself harder by using the fear of what the attackers will do to them to fuel her, but it isn't enough.

Just like before, Selia starts to stumble from overexerting her fragile body. Black spots fill her vision and her head throbs like a new pulse with every step she takes. Her wheezes must catch Bellamy's attention because he glances back to find her struggling and reaches out to help.

"Sel, come on," he calls, offering his hand. She hesitates even through her struggle, but knowing she's going to collapse at any second, her hand finds his anyway.

Bellamy's warm, callused hand envelops hers and she feels a sting in her heart from how familiar it feels. Selia pushes all the memories back to focus on the problem at hand, but she's faced with the limitations of her cancer. Even with his assistance, she can't keep going, especially as the forest begins to grow darker as the line between consciousness and unconsciousness blurs. Blood seeps from her nose and reaches her lip before she wipes it away with her sleeve.

"Bell," she chokes out, "I can't."

Releasing his hand, she comes to a stop, keeling over as she tries to keep herself from vomiting.

Bellamy stops a few feet away and quickly returns to Selia. He places a concerned hand on her back while the other grips his weapon and looks around at the Grounders in frustration.

"Just run!" She urges Bellamy, more worried about his safety than hers.

"I'm not leaving you," he promises even as they become surrounded.

The Grounders close in on them from every direction and Selia knows that whatever they're planning will end with the pair dead. She's brought back to the same dilemma she's faced before and that's not being able to let Bellamy get hurt. She looks around in fear before remembering the gun weighing heavily in her hand.

Selia was the best shot on the Ark; before yesterday, she never missed. Her speed is ridiculously slow now, but she just needs to give Bellamy enough time to get away. What happens to her after that is irrelevant.

"You better run," she warns Bellamy quietly as she cocks the gun.

"What?" Bellamy demands in return.

She doesn't answer as she raises the weapon and points it at the Grounder closest to reaching them. With a deep breath, Selia pulls the trigger, sending a bullet straight into the man's heart. Before she can think about what she's done, she turns to the next Grounder and then the next. When the third man falls to his knees, the remaining one decides it's a good time to retreat, leaving Bellamy and Selia safe in the woods finally.

Selia's heart pounds in her ears and her hands begin to shake as she stares at the bodies lying still in the dirt, knowing they will never move again because of her.

Bellamy places a hand on her shoulder and she jumps.

"Are you okay, Sel?"

"I – I just killed them," she murmurs in horror.

"They would have killed us," he says.

 _But they didn't_ , the young woman thinks, _because I beat them to it_.

…

Selia's hand wraps around Bellamy's arm to pull him back from the entrance to the cave they found after tracking the Grounder they had originally been following.

"We can't just run in there," she hisses. "We don't know how many people are in there or if this is a trap."

"We know Octavia is in there," he argues.

"No, we really don't," Selia sighs. "Look, we need a plan."

"We go in, weapons hot, that's the plan. Are you ready?"

Selia rolls her eyes as Bellamy enters the cave without waiting for a reply and quickly follows. She's relieved to find that he's more cautious in here than in the forest – possibly because it's so strange in comparison. The cave is dimly lit and walled by unstable rocks. It's full of strange things, some they recognize and some they don't, but Selia's examination of their surroundings is cut off by a loud thud and groan. The pair share a look of silent understanding before picking up their pace in that direction.

Bellamy's larger frame blocks Selia's vision, but when he comes to halt suddenly, she freezes in fear.

"Bellamy?" Octavia's familiar voice echoes off the rocks.

"Octavia," he breathes in relief before rushing towards his sister. Selia exhales as well, but notices the teenager is injured and chained once Bellamy is out of the way.

The younger girl looks up at the guard in confusion, instantly recognizing her, but Selia just offers a small smile in place of an explanation. As Bellamy quickly gets his sister unchained, Selia sees the unconscious Grounder and the fresh gash on his forehead that Octavia left. She's a little impressed and glad that the youngest member of the Blake family can clearly take care of herself, but it still sends a shudder down her spine when she considers what could have happened here.

The siblings embrace tightly for a moment before parting and turning towards Selia.

"You're one of the guards," Octavia says. "How did you get here?"

"I'm Selia," the woman tells her. "And it's a long story."

Octavia nods as she turns back to her brother, "We should go now, before he wakes up."

"He's not going to wake up," Bellamy decides, moving to find a weapon.

"What are you going to do?" Selia questions nervously when she sees him grab a nearby spear. She kneels beside the Grounder, ready to block his attack.

"Selia, move," he orders sharply.

"Bellamy, no!" Octavia pleads. "He didn't hurt me. Let's just go!"

It happens so quickly. One moment, Selia is poised to argue in Octavia's defense, the next, the Grounder she thought was unconscious grabs her arm to pull her to the floor. Before anyone can react, the man has her pinned on her back with a knife aimed straight at her heart. She struggles against him, squirming beneath his weight while her thin arms try to force the weapon away from her body.

Selia gets in a good kick and is able to shift enough to save her own life, but she can't escape the knife as he embeds it in her left shoulder. In the same moment she's crying out from the pain of the blade, Bellamy is whacking the Grounder in the back of the skull, knocking him out in one swift movement.

Octavia rushes to Selia's side as the young guard struggles to sit up, groaning in pain.

"Don't try to move," the other girl says.

"Don't take it out!" Bellamy adds quickly when he sees his former girlfriend reaching for the knife.

"It's fine," Selia assures in a stiff voice. "It didn't hit anything important."

"No, you're leaving it in until we get you to Clarke," he commands harshly, but the look in his eyes as he drops the spear and kneels at her other side shows the terror he feels inside from seeing her injury.

Selia is taken back by the intensity and it distracts her from the burning sensation running down her arm for a moment. He's done nothing but show concern for her this entire time and it seems so genuine that she struggles to _not_ believe it.

"We should hurry," he murmurs gently.

* * *

Hello!

So, I was super happy to see there is some interest in the story and I'm so excited to continue writing it!

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following. And special thanks to those who reviewed, I appreciate it so much!

I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. Please review and let me know what you thought! I'll try update as soon as possible!

See you next time,

-V :)


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm really fine," Selia repeats for the millionth time. "It barely hurts."

"Get Clarke," Bellamy orders one of the boys who opened the gate to camp for them.

"I don't need Clarke to pull it out. I can do it myself," she argues. When she reaches for the knife, Bellamy is quick to snatch her hand away, holding it firmly in his own.

"Would you stop?" he grumbles, receiving a scowl from the injured girl.

"You guys are okay!" Jasper shouts as he comes running towards them with Monty at his side. He embraces Octavia briefly before noticing the knife sticking out of Selia's shoulder. "Whoa, what happened?"

"The Grounder attacked her," Bellamy explains stiffly.

"He was defending himself," Octavia mutters.

"Did you see Selia attacking him?" the older brother demands.

Selia watches the exchange with wide, confused eyes. She isn't sure how she feels about Octavia defending the man who just tried to kill her, but she's even more unsure of how she feels about Bellamy defending her.

Sensing the discomfort, Monty interrupts. "We just got back. We were getting ready to head back out with Clarke and Finn to find you guys."

"I'm glad you made it home," Selia says. "I've been worried since we separated."

"What's going on?" Clarke calls as she jogs toward them.

"Oh, my God," Raven gasps as she joins too, gazing at Selia's injury. "What happened?"

Ignoring her concern, Selia grabs Raven's shoulder with the hand on her uninjured side, "Did you fix the radio?"

The young mechanic gives a slight grin, still worrying about her friend's shoulder, but nodding in pride. Selia's eyes widen with hope.

"And the culling?"

"We stopped it," Raven tells her with a larger smile.

Selia moves to hug her, only then remembering the sharp and burning sensation caused by the knife.

"Come on," Clarke interrupts, receiving a harsh glance from Raven. "We need to take care of that."

…

"You don't need the jacket back on right now, Sel," Raven sighs in exasperation.

"I'm cold," the guard argues petulantly.

The knife has been removed and Clarke carefully stitched the wound before Selia could bleed enough to raise suspicion. She knows her blood won't clot as well as it should and the doctor's daughter would understand that something is wrong pretty quickly. Now, her shoulder is bandaged and sore, but she's still alive. Unfortunately, she can feel a different weapon within her working to change that.

The radio did work, but by the time Marcus was on the other end to speak with his daughter, the signal went out because of the storm raging outside. Selia was only half disappointed because she wants to talk to him, but she's still afraid of his reaction. She knows her father well, so she is quite aware that he's not going to be completely understanding. However, she holds out hope that he will be forgiving enough since Raven did exactly what she was sent to Earth by Abby to do.

With the storm thrashing the world around them, all the delinquents are stuffed into the dropship to escape it. That means it's crowded, loud, and incredibly uncomfortable. The teenagers' arguments echo through the metal interior, much worse when they yell, and Selia finds it difficult to even hear herself think. To make it harder, the dropship creaks and groans as wind, rain, and wayward tree branches beat against the exterior.

"The storm is getting worse," Clarke says to Finn a few feet away from the other two girls. Selia barely notices them as she messes with jacket, but Raven is watching closely from the corner of her eye. "Monroe, close the door."

"We still have people out there," the girl argues.

"Monty and Jasper still aren't back yet," Finn tells the blonde. "Bellamy has people out there, too."

"Well, they'll find somewhere to ride it out," Clarke assures.

Unaware that her friend is growing more and more irritated, Selia huffs in frustration with her jacket hanging on one arm.

"Can you just help with this side?" she pleads of Raven.

Raven rolls her eyes at Selia before she stands and yanks the jacket off her good arm.

"Hey!" The older of the two protests, but Raven moves around her in silence and drapes the jacket over her shoulders.

"There," she mutters as she returns to sitting in front of Selia. "Happy now?"

"Yes," Sel quips childishly, though she is genuinely grateful. " _Thank you_."

Satisfied as she pulls the jacket tighter, Selia finally takes notice of how tense Raven is and the way she keeps eyeing Clarke and Finn. She notices a glare of suspicion reflecting the dim lights of the dropship and follows her friend's gaze to see the other two teenagers speaking too quietly to heard by anyone else.

"Reyes, is everything okay?" Selia questions in concern.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" Raven answers dismissively.

When she meets the older girl's worried gaze, the mechanic quickly stands to leave so she can avoid her friend's intuition. This only alarms Selia more, knowing something is truly wrong when Raven shuts down, and is quick to grab her arm to pull her back.

"Did something happen?" Selia asks, shooting a glance at Finn and Clarke before returning her gaze to Raven.

"No," Raven says sharply, pulling out of her grasp.

"Raven –"

"Hey, they're back!" Someone shouts, interrupting Selia's concern for her friend.

Bellamy enters the dropship first, soaked from the rain, and he's followed by the boys he left with earlier, only they've returned with another person. The Grounder who took Octavia and stabbed Selia is thrown on the ground, tied up, unconscious, and bloody.

…

"No, Bellamy, please!" Octavia begs, grabbing his arm as he moves towards the Grounder.

The man who kidnapped his sister and tried to kill Selia is tied up and now awake. Blood has dried around his nose where Bellamy got in a good punch. It was unnecessary at the moment because the Grounder was still chained where they left him, but anger got the better of him. He didn't feel guilty for it at all either. The guy deserved a lot more than one measly hit.

Despite what his sister believes, Bellamy didn't bring the Grounder back to settle a personal score. He's tired of his people living in fear of these strangers and he can't let anyone else die. They need answers, they need to know what they're up against, or they won't stand a chance.

"Miller, get her out of here," Bellamy orders, snatching his arm out of Octavia's grasp.

"Back off, Nate," Selia warns as she climbs through the hatch.

Bellamy turns away from the Grounder to see the guard joining them. She shields his sister with her uninjured arm and gives the younger boy a stern look. Miller backs away with his hands held up in surrender and Bellamy sighs. He knows the kid respects him as the leader, but he also knows that Nate and Selia have been friends their whole lives. They're from the same station and Nate's dad took over Laney Kane's position on the Guard after she died. Plus, Sergeant Miller is Selia's commanding officer and has always adored her like a second child. So, it's no surprise that Nate listens to her.

Selia turns to Bellamy now, her expression not nearly as hostile as his sister's, but still clearly against what's happening here. However, Bellamy notices something is off by the beads of sweat dampening her hairline and the heaviness of her usually wide eyes as if she's struggling to stay awake.

"Bellamy, there has to be a better way than this," she says calmly.

"There's not," he replies harshly before turning back to the Grounder. "Both of you should go."

He hears Selia's impatient sigh and knows that being civil with him, no matter the situation, is very difficult for her now, but it's in her nature to mediate for everyone. She has always been the type to want to solve everyone's problems and, even more so, protect them.

When he feels her hand on his arm, he isn't surprised that she isn't finished trying to dissuade him, but he is surprised by the temperature of her skin. Bellamy twists around to face Selia, grabbing her arm to get a better feel, and confusing the girl to no end with his quickly-changing and now concerned expression.

"Why are you so hot?" he demands. Selia's unusually pale skin barely flushes, though he can clearly see her embarrassment, when Drew snorts in amusement. Bellamy ignores him as he places a hand on her forehead, checking for a fever the way his mother did when he and Octavia were children. "You're burning up."

"Get off," Selia grumbles, shoving his hand away and stepping back to get some distance between them. "It's just warm in here."

"Weren't you just fighting with your jacket down there because you were cold?" Octavia questions from behind her.

"Octavia, go get Clarke," Bellamy requests and the worry in his voice is enough for her to do it without arguing.

"What? No, I don't need Clarke!" Selia calls after the girl.

"You don't look so good, Sel," Nate says, earning a light-hearted glare from the older girl.

"How do you feel?" Bellamy asks, carefully examining the wound Clarke stitched and finding no problem with it.

"I feel fine," she fibs.

"Selia, you are the worst liar alive. This is serious," Bellamy sighs.

There's a rumbling outside the dropship as the storm grows angrier. As Selia tries to escape from the boys' attention, an explosive bang rocks the ship, throwing her straight into Bellamy's chest. He catches her on instinct, but the dropship shifts again and they both fall to the floor. He absorbs the impact for her, keeping her safe as she's caged in his arms. He thinks Selia must be pretty disorientated because he expects her to jump up immediately, but instead finds her clutching his shirt tightly in her fist to keep them close.

"What the hell was that?" Bellamy shouts, looking to Miller and Drew as he brings Selia and himself up to a sitting position.

With Selia basically sitting on his lap, he expects her to shove him away as soon as she's steady, but her fist remains tightened on his tee shirt to the point of her knuckles turning white. He takes notices of how her eyes have glossed over and gone vacant while her body is completely stiff.

"Selia?" Bellamy tries to shake her slightly, hoping she just zoned out, but his concern grows when he doesn't get any response. "Sel?"

As if a switch has been flipped, Selia's entire body jerks in Bellamy's arms and she begins to convulse. He quickly lays her on the ground, pulling his shirt out of her grasp.

"Clarke!" He yells as loud as possible. "Selia is seizing!"

Her thin – though he doesn't remember her ever being this small – body spasms violently against the metal floor and her jaw is clenched so tight that he fears her teeth may shatter. When white foam spills from the corner of her mouth, Bellamy finds himself in a helplessly panicked haze, trying to help Selia, but not knowing what to do.

Clarke arrives not thirty seconds after he called for her with Raven, Finn, and Octavia on her heels. The blonde kneels beside Selia and orders Bellamy to help turn her on her side.

"What happened?" she demands.

"We fell when the dropship moved and then this started," Bellamy explains quickly.

"She's burning up," Clarke mutters.

"What's happening?" Raven presses for information, her tone matching Bellamy's. "Is this from the stabbing?"

"The knife didn't seem to hit anything important and even if it did, it wouldn't cause this."

"Clarke, do something!" Bellamy orders, but his tone sounds more like a plea.

"Wait, I think it's over," the blonde says as Selia's spasms slow.

The young guard's body releases the tension and she slumps down hard against the grated floor. The stress of the seizure has caused her to black out and she lays there so pale that Bellamy thinks she's fading away. She's drowning in her sleeveless shirt, her burgundy hair is wet with sweat, and her chest barely rises with every uneven breath she takes.

"Clarke, what is happening to her?" Raven nearly yells after someone hands the blonde a rag and she moves to wipe the fluid away from Selia's mouth.

"I think I've seen this before. Shortness of breath, fever, seizing," Clarke lists before glancing up at Bellamy's expectant gaze. "It's poison."

"How?" Raven hastily questions. "She hasn't eaten, she's been drinking the same water as the rest of us, I watched you sterilize everything when you did the stitches."

"Not everything," Finn mutters in contrast.

"The knife," Clarke says in understanding. She jumps to her feet and rushes down the hatch without another word while Raven takes her place at Selia's side.

No further explanation is needed for Bellamy, however, as a haze of red falls over his vision like a curtain dropping. His heart, which has already been pounding in fear for Selia now beats like a war drum, angry and deafening. He climbs to his feet and marches right up to the restrained man, letting his closed fist connect with the Grounder's jaw with a loud snapping sound. Before he has a chance to recover, Bellamy punches him again, finding no satisfaction either time.

"Bellamy, stop!" Octavia begs.

"What did you do to her?" He growls at the Grounder. "What's on the knife?"

"There has to be an antidote," Finn says from behind him.

"I found a case on him with little vials," Miller tells Finn. "Do you think it could be in there?"

Their voices sound faraway, even with his sister screaming. What rings loud for him is the memory of Selia's painful cry when the Grounder's knife sunk into her skin. The repetition of the sound only infuriates him more and his fist connects with the man's tee shirt-covered stomach.

Bellamy doesn't even realize that Clarke has returned with the weapon. She searches the vials that Miller gave Finn, but doesn't know which one is the antidote so she moves to where Bellamy is and demands answers from the Grounder as well.

"He doesn't understand you!" Octavia yells.

"Oh, I'll make him understand," Bellamy says lowly. He takes his own makeshift knife and cuts a red seatbelt from its place before returning to the man and tearing the fabric away from his torso.

"Wait, Bellamy, this doesn't seem right," Finn argues, but the older boy barely hears him.

"Bellamy, no!" Octavia pleads, grabbing her brother's arm to stop him.

"I won't let Selia die!" His voice shakes with anger and fear, bouncing off the walls, and startling the others so much that it silences any further argument.

It's almost like an out of body experience for Bellamy as he whips the Grounder with the belt buckle. He can hear the man groan in pain, but he doesn't feel anything himself. Nothing other than the building frustration and panic because it's not working. Each hit does nothing to bring them closer to saving Selia.

"She stopped breathing!" Raven shouts in a trembling voice. "Sel? Sel, come on, breathe!"

The seatbelt goes slack in Bellamy's hand and everyone goes silent. Clarke rushes to her side, getting ready to start compressions while Raven roughly shakes her. He's frozen in place as he watches from the short distance and his heart is lodged in his throat so he can't breathe either. The alarming moment lasts no longer than thirty seconds, but a lifetime passes for him.

And then a soft, wheezy gasp fills the level as Selia's breathing resumes.

"She's getting worse," Raven snaps the feeling of relief like a cord facing a knife.

The mechanic climbs to her feet, ignoring what everyone else is saying as she stomps to the wall where all the wires are grouped. Bellamy watches in silence as she yanks two blue wires from their place and touches their open ends to make a spark. When the Grounder sees this, he begins to struggle against the restraints, showing fear for the first time. Raven then presses the live ends against his skin, making the man scream in pain while the lights flicker around them.

"Which one is it?" Raven growls as tears fill her eyes. She presses the sparks to his chest again and holds them there for a longer moment. "Come on! She's my best friend, I can't lose her!"

"No more!" Octavia suddenly screams. Bellamy turns to see his crying sister holding the knife that Clarke brought up here.

To his horror, his little sister drags the poisoned blade over her skin and her blood immediately pools from the wound. Octavia is certain the Grounder won't let her die and she's right. She gets the antidote and saves Selia without anyone else getting hurt.

…

The antidote worked, but Selia's body has been through the ringer. Having not slept since they left the Ark, the trauma acts as a good sedative for the young guard. She lays sound asleep beneath some makeshift blankets, completely unfazed by the busy camp in the middle of the day. Raven hasn't left her side and she's been catching up on some sleep herself, but she's wide awake when Bellamy comes to sit on Selia's other side.

He gazes at Selia's peaceful expression and the familiar attributes he once memorized so long ago, like her long eyelashes sweeping against her cheeks, the light freckles that are only visible if you're close to her, and the pout her lips are set in no matter what is going on in her dreams. The strands of copper hair that stuck to her skin when she had the fever are now dry and curly along with her very messy braid. She looks better, but still not the same.

Bellamy worries that the poison did more damage than can be so quickly fixed with the antidote, but Clarke told him to wait and see how Selia is when she's fully awake.

Sensing Raven's unwavering gaze, he sighs and finally stops staring at the sleeping girl.

"Still sound asleep?" He mutters in a weak attempt to make conversation.

Raven nods slightly, "She woke up for some water earlier and then fell right back asleep."

"She didn't ask any questions?"

"She didn't say a word."

"She's not going to be happy when she finds out what we had to do to get the antidote," Bellamy says with another sigh.

"She'll get over it," Raven tells him confidently.

Bellamy struggles to feel the same way. Selia isn't an angry person, except with him, but he has no doubt that she'll be horrified. The idea that someone else suffered for her well-being will most likely make her sick. He just isn't sure how she'll react when she finds out that he and Raven are the ones to inflict so much harm to the Grounder who tried and almost succeeded in killing her.

"Have you guys been friends long?" Bellamy questions so they can move away from Selia's impending reaction. Of course, he knows they could only have been friends for the past three years because he never met or even heard about someone named Raven Reyes, yet the mechanic claims they're best friends.

"No," Raven admits, "but she's saved my life more than once. I trust her more than anyone."

"Even Finn?"

The girl doesn't reply, but Bellamy understands her stony expression to mean it's none of his business.

"I've wanted to meet the jackass who broke her heart," she says suddenly and this time it's Bellamy's expression who hardens in silence. "I always wondered who was capable of making someone like Selia Kane feel like she wasn't good enough, like there was something wrong with _her_."

"What are you talking about?" Bellamy asks through gritted teeth.

"She doesn't talk about you very much. Most of the time, it's just little snippets of how much you messed her up, but that's what she said the first time we talked about it. 'I wasn't enough. I'm just missing what he wants.'" Raven quotes. "Figured you had to have some balls making her feel like that."

Guilt crushes Bellamy, pushing his shoulders down so much that he can barely hold them up and crumpling his heart like a wasted piece of paper. He said many horrible things that he never meant, but it was to serve a purpose. He had to burn the bridge between them, if he didn't, he never would have been strong enough to stay away. He needed Selia to hate him so she would keep the distance that he wasn't capable of doing.

"You don't know what you're talking about," he grumbles.

"You broke her heart," Raven hisses.

"I had no choice!"

"Oh, please," she scoffs. "People fall out of love, it doesn't mean you have to be an asshole about it."

"I didn't," he argues.

"You didn't act like an asshole? Are you serious?" Raven demands in anger, loud enough to make Selia stir for a moment.

"I did act like an asshole," Bellamy admits in a whisper. "But I didn't fall out of love with her."

 _I never stopped loving her_ , he thinks as he returns his gaze to the girl in question.

* * *

Hello!

This chapter was a little tough because I really don't want to rewrite everything from each episode and just stick my OC in it, but I also still want to include certain things that happen in the episode. So what happened was that I wrote this and then thought it included way too much that was identical to the episode, but I did my best to fix it. I hope that this chapter was good and you all enjoyed it!

We didn't get a lot of talking between Selia and Bellamy, but I hope you can see that he really cares about her despite what she believes. And there was a little bit more in reference to the end of their relationship.

Next chapter will have a lot more interaction between Sel and Bellamy!

Thank you so much for reading and special thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed!

Please, please, please review! It means the world to me and it is so encouraging!

Hope everyone had a happy New Year,

-V :)


	7. Chapter 7

Selia sits in the makeshift tent to keep Raven company as she adds the monitor and camera to the radio so they can see the people on the Ark from Earth. She wanted to be useful and help in whatever way she could, but Raven won't let her do anything because it's barely been more than twenty-four hours since she almost died.

When the young guard woke up and found out what happened, her reaction was predictable. It wasn't that she was angry with them for doing everything they could to save her, she was just horrified by what had occurred _because_ of her. Despite knowing the Grounder was trying to kill her, the suffering he endured leaves Selia feeling just as sick as the poison did.

To add to her guilt, she can't help wondering if they knew about the illness working to kill her anyway, would they still have gone to such horrible lengths to save her.

"Thought about what you're going to say to your dad yet?" Raven asks, shaking the other girl from her reverie.

"Trying _not_ to think about it actually," Selia mutters.

Raven glances at her with an amused smirk, shaking her head as she returns to the wires in her hands. "Well, I'm almost done, so you better start."

"Ugh," she groans dramatically. "Can't you take longer?"

The mechanic laughs, "You think he'll really be mad? We did save all those people."

"You saved them," Selia corrects. "I just got stabbed. And I don't know. I have no idea how he's going to react. This is the first time I've ever gone to Earth without saying goodbye."

Raven rolls her eyes. "Well, at least you can just walk away if he gets too mad. Better than having the conversation in person, right?"

"That is very true," Selia says thoughtfully. "Or I could just shut the whole thing off and blame it on some earthly interference."

"It's always good to have an escape plan."

Selia nods in agreement while Raven gives her another amused grin. The mechanic's face falls, however, when Clarke pops her head into the tent before moving all the way inside to join them. Selia notices the instant change in her friend and she can feel how the air suddenly thickens with tension.

"Hey, Clarke," Selia greets, eyeing Raven whose muscles have clearly coiled together as she continues working on the radio.

"Hey, how's it going? Is it almost ready?" The blonde questions, completely aware of the change in Raven upon her arrival.

"Almost," Raven answers curtly.

"Let me know when you're finished," Clarke requests before leaving the tent.

"Um…" Selia breaks through the residual awkwardness. "Did something happen between you two?"

"No," Raven says dismissively, just as she had after Selia got her stitches.

"Raven, you can talk to me," the young guard tells her meaningfully.

"I know, Sel."

"Do you also know that I'm going to continue to ask until you do?"

Sighing, Raven turns to Selia with a resigned expression. "Nothing happened between us, but I think…I think something happened between Clarke and…"

"Finn," Selia finishes softly with her own disappointed sigh. "Why do you think that?"

"You've seen them together," she says. "And when we went to get parts for the radio, I don't know, it just felt like I was the odd man out. They're too close."

"Maybe it's just because they've been through a lot together in such a short time," Selia suggests. The older girl is familiar with the horrible feeling of suspicion and wants to expel it immediately for her friend, but she can't help but suspect the same when she thinks about all the interactions she has seen between Finn and Clarke thus far.

"Maybe," Raven mutters.

"You should talk to him," Selia says. "If you're right, then he owes you some answers. If you're wrong, he needs to understand how he's making you feel so he can stop. Confront him."

"What if I get an answer I don't like?" she asks with an unusually raw note of vulnerability in her voice.

Selia is lost for words for a moment. She wants to protect her friend from the familiar pain of heartbreak, but she knows that's not possible. She can't give her careless lies even if she knows the truth will hurt.

"Then you deserve a lot better."

…

With the radio updated and running, Selia can no longer avoid speaking to her father. She knows he deserves answers and that it's selfish, cowardly even, to make him wait, but she's afraid. Today, she only intends to justify her reasons for leaving, but the truth still weighs heavily on her shoulders. If he remains angry over her departure, she isn't sure if she will ever be able to tell him. And it's not as if she has an endless amount of time to put this off – the clocking is ticking.

She must tell him soon, but first she must make things right.

Marcus' face is already lit up on the monitor when Selia enters the tent and sits down to put on her headset. Her stomach twists when she notices relief softening his stern expression and she realizes how cruel it was for her to purposely wait until Raven had updated the radio when she could have spoken to him earlier.

"Hi, Dad," Selia murmurs.

"Selly," he greets in return. The childhood nickname only her family ever used battles with the serious edge to his tone. "Are you okay?"

Guilt sinks its sharp claws into her skin from Marcus' genuine concern for his daughter. She knows he's angry and he has the right to be, but as always, Selia's safety and well-being comes first even when she has selfishly caused him so much stress.

"Yes," she answers. The lie rings loud for both to hear. The poison is out of her system and the stitches still hold her stabbing wound together, but the aftermath has left her worse for wear and the older Kane can see that clear as day.

"Are you going to explain?" he questions expectantly.

Selia can feel herself shrinking, transforming into the child that she knows her father still sees. "I was trying to help Raven. She said she needed me."

"Did you know what she and Abby were doing?"

"No," she affirms.

"But you wouldn't have stopped them if you did," he guesses.

"No," she repeats in admission.

Marcus sighs, though he isn't surprised by her answer, he still feels frustrated with her endless need to protect people who break the law. Selia senses this and quickly moves to elaborate on her actions.

"When I went to help, I didn't expect this, Dad. I didn't plan on going to the Ground, I wouldn't have just up and left you without a word," she tells him. "I'm sorry."

"I know," he mutters with a nod. "I knew you wouldn't."

Selia is surprised, she assumed that her father would think she was a part of Abby and Raven's plan the entire time. She also assumed that he would come at her frustrated and angry as he accused her of not using her head for the millionth time, but she never would have imagined him reacting like this.

"I understand why Abby did it," he says so quietly, Selia isn't entirely certain that she's meant to hear. "Things are different when it's your own child on the Ground."

…

Up until now, Selia had completely avoided the top level of the dropship because she didn't want to face the Grounder. She wasn't afraid of him, she was afraid of what happened to him. However, she feels that facing him is something she must do and finally summons the courage to go. Unfortunately, when she walks inside the dropship she ends interrupting a fight between the Blake siblings.

" – Problem solved." Selia only catches the end of what Octavia is saying.

"Octavia, you know I didn't mean that," Bellamy tells her.

"Um," Selia clears her throat awkwardly, afraid of overhearing too much. "Sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here."

"Don't worry," Bellamy mutters when Octavia barely glances at Selia before deciding to ignore them both. "I was just leaving."

"Hey, Selia," Clarke calls as she moves through the makeshift curtains at the entrance. The blonde pauses with a look of surprise when she sees Selia's uncomfortable expression and Bellamy's angry one. "Uh, so the Ark found some old records that show a supply depot not too far from here. It could have stuff we need to survive the winter. Are you up for the trip? I could use some backup."

Selia was already in a weak state when she arrived on Earth. Then, she hiked through the woods and ran for her life after a crash-landing to find Octavia. She pathetically tried fighting a Grounder who stabbed her with a poison blade and suffered through a violent reaction to it only a few days ago. She's barely eaten anything and thrown it all up anyway, she's too cold to get any sleep and just thrashes around all night, and every inch of her body aches like she's made up of one big bruise.

No, she is not up for the trip.

"Sure, when do we leave?" Selia answers.

…

"Well, this place is nice," Selia mumbles sarcastically as they begin to explore the depot.

"So much for living down here," Clarke sighs in disappointment.

"The Exodus ship will be here soon, so all we need is enough to get us through until they arrive, right?"

"Yeah, but it looks like they distributed most of it before the last bombs dropped," Clarke says as she closes another empty case.

"There's got to be something," Selia insists. "Let's keep looking."

As the two girls continue to search for anything useful, Selia decides that now is as good a time as any. She found out from Abby what kind of conversation she shared with her daughter before the radio went out on the night Selia was stabbed. The doctor was doing everything in her power not to cry as they spoke, so the young guard promised to talk to Clarke and see if she could do something to make it better.

"Listen, about the Exodus launch, I was talking to your mom and –"

"I'm not talking to her," Clarke interrupts sharply.

"I know you're upset, but you should give her a chance to explain," Selia says, causing the other girl to whirl around with a withering glare.

" _Upset_?" she demands. "It's her fault my dad is dead! I'm a little more than upset."

"Clarke, it's not her fault. She was doing what she thought was best."

"You're unbelievable," Clarke scoffs. "Of course you take her side."

"I'm not taking her side," Selia argues. "I'm telling you the truth because it's hard for you to see it when you're hurting so much, but you know your mom loved your dad. She would have never done anything to purposely put him in danger. She thought she was doing the right thing."

"She should have known it was wrong! She should have known that he wouldn't stop!"

"Hindsight is 20/20, Clarke," she tells her gently. "Abby would do anything to undo what happened if she could."

"Well, she can't," the blonde snaps. "Nothing can change the fact that he's dead because of her."

"You don't have to forgive her today, but –"

"I'm not going to forgive her ever!"

"Clarke –"

"Why don't you just mind your own business?" she growls.

"I'm making this my business because I care about both of you!" Selia says, struggling to stay patient.

"Well, it can't be yours, so just leave me alone," Clarke grumbles as she walks away from her.

"Where are you going?" Selia calls after her.

"To look over here!"

"Clarke!"

Selia sighs when the younger girl is out of sight, knowing that following her will only make things worse. She just wanted to help, especially after seeing how upset Abby was over the situation. It only reminds her of the aftermath a year ago when Jake was floated and Clarke was arrested. That was horrible and she had been just as useless.

Shaking her head in disappointment, Selia resigns herself to giving Clarke space while she continues to look through the depot. She opens one of the large barrels to find it filled with a dark liquid that reflects the outline of her head. Before she can dip her fingers in it, a drop of red splatters the smooth surface with a soft ripple.

"Seriously?" Selia grumbles. She uses her sleeve to wipe the blood away from her nose, feeling nothing but annoyed by the consistent reminders that her body hates her.

Without another interruption, Selia dips her fingers into the barrel to find it's filled with oil. The depot was meant to hold emergency supplies, so the young guard finds it hard to believe that emergencies call for such a vast amount of grease. Pulling off her jacket, she lays it on a covered barrel before reaching inside the oil to see if there's anything else.

"This is what nightmares are made of," she mutters as her hand sinks into the unknown.

Fortunately, her hand brushes against something solid and she pulls it out to examine it.

"Whoa," she says in awe at the sight of the automatic rifle. "Holy antique."

…

After finding several barrels full of preserved rifles and cleaning off a few, Selia decides it's time to find Clarke because at least she'll have good news to share. The corridor in the depot goes on for a while, but eventually she finds the blonde. Only, she doesn't see Clarke, she hears her.

Peeking her head around the corner, she finds Clarke kneeling in the middle of the corridor, her flashlight discarded to the side, and talking to the empty air. Concern immediately floods her and she listens closely to find the blonde talking about her mom and forgiveness. Selia is just about to interrupt and see if she's okay when another noise distracts her.

In the distance, she hears a distinct bang. The sound makes her heart stutter in fear and her dark surroundings suddenly seem impossibly spookier. She manages to shove her inner five-year-old down and use logic to realize that only another person could have made that noise. Her immediate thought is that there's a Grounder in the depot, so she pulls the gun from her waist, ensures Clarke is safe in her one-person conversation, and moves silently towards the echo of the bang.

The corridor is empty, but that does little to comfort Selia. She thinks maybe the Grounders have been down here before and know where to hide, so she's mentally prepared for someone to jump out at her. Nothing happens though, and she makes it all the way to the staircase that leads to the surface with no problem.

It takes her a moment to realize what's different, but when she does, panic empties her lungs. She rushes up the stairs to the hatch that they left open earlier and finds it closed. Selia tries to push the door open, but something is clearly on top of it. Someone is trying to make sure that Clarke and the guard stay in the depot and that causes a cold sweat to form on the back of her neck.

After holstering her gun, Selia tries several times to open the door with just her arms, but the metal just groans in response. The hatch hasn't shifted, but she pants from the exertion while the muscles in her arms burn. While she catches her breath, she tries to come up with a different plan as the first one isn't going to work. She decides to sit on the top step and bend over so her back is against the hatch and then she uses all the strength in her legs to push herself up and the door open.

It takes several tries, but eventually she gets it open. She crawls out, feeling incredibly weak, and sees the boulder that had been rolled over it to keep them locked down there. Without wasting a moment, Selia draws her weapon once more and searches for who is responsible under the darkening sky. She finds shoe prints easily enough, but hesitates to follow them with the fear that it could be a trap. However, when she hears a pain-filled shout, it's enough for her instincts to send her running towards it.

The sight she finds horrifies her.

Bellamy lays on the ground with blood on his face from fighting and one of the boys from the hundred, Dax, stands over him in a similar state. Both are breathless and hurting, but that doesn't concern Selia. It's one of the newly-found rifles that Dax is aiming straight at Bellamy that has her so afraid.

"Put it down, Dax," Selia orders sharply, her Guard-issued gun pointing at him.

Her voice startles both of them and Dax's gun is now aimed at her.

"You should have stayed down there, Kane," Dax says. "I didn't want to have to kill you, but Shumway said no witnesses."

Selia doesn't let her confusion get the better of her, not while she's looking down the barrel of a gun. "If you don't put that rifle down, someone is going to get killed and I guarantee it's not going to be me, Dax."

The teenager doesn't believe Selia and makes the unfortunate decision to try to shoot her, but the young guard's finger moves faster and Dax is the one who falls to the ground with a bullet in his chest.

The cold sinks through her jacket as she stares down at the boy sadly. All her life she wanted to be a guard, but not once did she ever believe that she would have to kill another person. She's been on Earth for a few days and she's already killed a handful of people.

Shoving down the guilt she feels, she looks over at Bellamy who is moving to sit up and staring at her with exhausted eyes.

"Are you okay?" Selia asks as she moves to kneel at his side.

Bellamy doesn't answer as his gaze shifts to Dax's still body. His face is pale under the moonlight and the blood, his eyes are wide orbs of anguish, and he seems to be shrinking in the night to a child under the disappointed gaze of his mother.

"Bellamy?" Selia grows concerned as she reads his expression, not understanding this reaction to the death of someone who was trying to kill him.

"My mother…if she knew what I've done, who I am…" he mutters without meeting Selia's worried gaze. Tears begin to fill his eyes as he continues. "She raised me to be better, to be good, but all I do is hurt people. I'm a monster."

"A monster?" Selia repeats in confusion. "Bellamy, I'm the one who just killed Dax. How does that make you a monster?"

"Not Dax, everyone else. I tried to kill Jaha, I beat up people to get those bracelets off and keep everyone on the Ark from coming here, I couldn't protect Charlotte, I was going to destroy the radio when three hundred people's lives were at stake, I tortured that Grounder, I –"

"Oh, Bellamy," Selia sighs sadly with a shake of her head. "You're not a monster. Selfish maybe, but that doesn't make you a monster. You didn't know the Ark was dying or about the culling. You let fear blind you and you've made mistakes, but so does everyone else."

The tears in his eyes continue to shine, but they don't spill over. Selia waits for a reply, but silence just envelopes them both. In the quiet, she remembers her confusion.

"What are you doing here?"

When he closes his eyes and vaguely shakes his head, Selia knows she isn't going to like his answer.

"Jaha will kill me when he comes down."

It takes Selia a moment to understand what he's saying because she's waiting for more of an explanation. However, when she figures out that's all that Bellamy is going to give her, she realizes what his words actually mean.

And it infuriates her.

She gives him a hard shove, sending him to the dirt once more. He quickly sits back up as his surprised gaze meets her angry one.

"Are you kidding me?" she growls. "You're just leaving?"

"What am I supposed to do, Selia?" he returns.

"Stay, you idiot!"

"The Exodus ship will be here soon, your dad will be on it. I tried to kill the chancellor, I'm as good as dead," Bellamy argues.

"What about Octavia?"

"Octavia hates me."

Selia shoves him hard again.

"Being angry with you is not the same as hating you," she tells him. "And we can figure something out with Jaha and my dad. It wouldn't be the first time I got you out of an execution. But you're sitting here pouting about being a monster when the only reason you're even out here is because you're abandoning your people!"

"I'm not abandoning them. They don't need me," he disagrees, earning a third push against his chest. "Would you stop?"

"Would you?" Selia snaps back. "I've only been here a few days and I know that those kids wouldn't have gotten this far if it wasn't for you. They need you, Bellamy."

"No, they –"

"You can't just keep walking away from people without giving them answers!" She insists, but they both hear the underlying meaning of her words.

They both still remember that day three years ago when Bellamy walked away from Selia, leaving her with a broken heart and a thousand questions.

"You're their leader," she adds quickly before either can address the other issue entirely. "Act like it. You can be afraid, you can make mistakes, but you can't leave them."

"Sel," Bellamy murmurs. She wanted to focus on the problem at hand and ensure that he is going to return with her, but he clearly has a different plan. "I owe you an answer."

"This isn't about me," she dismisses.

"It wasn't about you then either," he says. "Selia, it wasn't you. You didn't do anything wrong, there is nothing wrong with you, it was –"

"Please," Selia cuts him off as she closes her eyes to block out his words. "I don't want to talk about it. I just want you to say that you'll come back."

She only means that he'll come back to the dropship, but she realizes that she wanted the same thing back then, too. It was pathetic, she thinks, that he could say all those things to her and walk away, but she still wanted him to come back. For so long, all Selia wanted was for Bellamy to show up at her door and say he didn't mean it, that it was mistake, that he really did love her, that he wanted to still be with her. She even reasoned that he didn't have to give her answers, that she would just pretend the break up never happened, all he had to do was come back. But he never did.

And finally, he's in front of her once more and willing to give the answers she has waited three years to hear, but she's afraid and can't let him say them.

"Just say you'll come back to _camp_."

* * *

Hello!

I'm so excited to see that this story is getting some more interest! It's so fun to write and I've been super inspired. I'm going back to school in a few days so I won't have as much time to write, but the good news is that I've been writing a lot over break. I'll be able to update at least once a week, maybe even more if I get some more interest!

Please review! I'd really like to know what you guys think and I'd love to hear any questions or suggestions you have!

Thank you so much for the reviews, favorites, and follows. And, of course, thank you so much for reading!

Hope to hear from everyone,

-V :)


	8. Chapter 8

"What did Dax mean?" Selia questions as they descend the steps into the depot. "About Shumway?"

With Bellamy's agreement to return to camp, Selia successfully shut down the other part of the conversation they were having. They moved on to talking about the rifle Dax had and Selia's lucky find. Now, as they return to the depot, she remembers another important piece that confused her earlier.

"Shumway set it up," Bellamy explains. "He gave me the gun and told me to kill Jaha."

Selia stops abruptly at the bottom of the stairs and she turns to look at him with a furrowed brow. Commander Shumway was never her favorite person. There were many people she liked taking her orders from much more, but she respected the man. He had never given any indication that he was not worthy of that respect either. Yet, he's the one that wanted the Chancellor dead.

"Why would he want Jaha dead?"

"I have no idea. He didn't tell me anything more."

"Then, the Chancellor is still in danger. Bellamy, you have to tell him," Selia urges. "There's clearly a bigger picture here and you were just a scapegoat, but you could save Jaha's life."

"I don't know about that, Sel," he says.

"He might rethink wanting to kill you if you keep him from dying."

"Selia!" Clarke calls as she comes jogging down the corridor. "Bellamy? What are you doing here?"

Bellamy gives her a look that says he doesn't want Clarke to know, but Selia ignores him. She thinks the blonde could help persuade him and maybe even Jaha later.

…

"Like Clarke said," Selia tells the kids as she paces in front of the line of twenty. "These are weapons, not toys. Life on Earth is not a free for all anymore, you must take this seriously."

"If you can't, then we suggest that you give the gun to someone else," Bellamy adds.

"But if you're ready to fight, if you're ready to keep them from taking the Ground from us, then Bellamy and I are ready to teach."

"Let's do it!" One of the teenagers shouts, earning an excited cheer from the others.

Part of Selia, the part she got from her father, is not entirely comfortable with the idea of giving all these people weapons that they've never even held before in their lives. The other part of her, the more Selia part, feels hope. She thinks these kids have seen far more than the people on the Ark and if anyone is going to take the threats of the Ground seriously, it's the hundred. They're ready to learn, they're ready to protect each other, and the young guard is happy to be here to teach them.

She glances over at Bellamy and he meets her gaze with light eyes, a sight she's sure no one has seen since their arrival on Earth. There's been a shift between them since the supply depot and it makes being around one another a lot less awkward. Maybe hope makes everything a little better or maybe Selia released some anger when she told Bellamy he couldn't walk away without giving people answers anymore. Either way, they've reached a civil plateau where they can work together without a strained underlying edge.

Strangely enough, at some point in the midst of training the teenagers, the former couple fell back into sync as if they never came out of it. Just like they did when they were younger, they build off each other in any situation – from explaining how to shoot, to cleaning off the rifles, and making security strategies to keep the camp safe. Neither one is willing to push past this strange calm or question it because both aren't completely sure how long it's going to last. For now, they'll just get done what they can.

"So, what do you think?" Bellamy asks as he moves to stand next to her.

"I think they're all going to be a little surprised when they actually shoot," Selia says and he chuckles. "But they look good."

"We actually have a chance," he tells her, relief in his voice.

"I'd say so," she agrees.

Bellamy turns to her with a grin and Selia's heart skips a beat. For a moment, she forgets where they are and what happened in the past because it feels like it used to. Years ago, a smile from Bellamy Blake left her a floating, star struck, red-cheeked mess and it was worth more anything in existence. It's been so long since she's seen a free and easy expression from him and it warms her better than the sun ever could. Selia could even go as far as to say that it reminds her of home.

Or home a few years back.

All too soon, reality returns, and Selia turns away embarrassed.

 _It's just a smile_ , she reminds herself. _He can't be home anymore._

…

Unable to sleep, Selia finds herself on guard outside the camp's walls, staring up at the blinking star she knows to be the Ark. Marcus Kane is set to leave on the first Exodus ship soon and Selia is nearly giddy with excitement. Despite their disagreements in the past year, she misses him more than anything and it hurt to leave him without saying goodbye. She's gotten to speak to him more than once, but she's ready to see him in person.

The only problem is that once he arrives, Selia no longer has a way to avoid telling him the truth. She has to tell him that she's sick and he'll have to deal with the fact that there's no way to save her. She only hopes that he accepts her fate quickly because the young guard can feel the clock ticking away. If all she did was rest, she would have more time, but each day she pushes herself farther than she should and her body continues to crack beneath the pressure.

Rustling from the trees pulls Selia's attention from the sky, but the rifle remains resting on her lap. Octavia tries to sneak back into camp, unaware that the older girl is there.

"How is he?" Selia asks, quietly breaking through the calm of the night and startling the youngest Blake. She glances over to see Octavia frozen in place and shocked.

"What?" The girl sounds like a child caught doing something she shouldn't, which is sort of _exactly_ what's happening.

"The Grounder," Selia clarifies. "How is he?"

Selia is no fool, she knew without a doubt that the man who tried to kill her escaped with the help of her ex-boyfriend's sister. Since that day, she's noticed Octavia slipping out of camp and not returning for hours. She doesn't understand it, but as long as the teenager comes back unharmed, the older girl sees no reason to interfere.

When Octavia doesn't answer, Selia glances at her again to see the girl trying to wrap her head around being caught and a half-smile of amusement forms in response. "Relax, I'm not going to tell anyone."

"How did you know?" Octavia asks cautiously.

"It's not exactly a difficult puzzle to piece together."

The teenager moves closer as she tries to size up Selia. This only amuses the young guard more and she gestures to the spot beside her for the other girl to sit.

"And you're not going to tell Bellamy?" Octavia takes a seat, though she's still on edge.

"No, I'm not going to tell Bellamy," Selia confirms.

The girls sit in silence for a long time while Octavia tries to decide how she feels. Selia continues to stare up at the Ark, assuming that the younger Blake will leave without a word, but then she actually speaks, beginning their first real conversation.

"I remember you," Octavia says quietly. "You were the one who caught me at the dance."

"I was just doing my job," Selia sighs. "I didn't know who you were or what was happening."

"I didn't know who you were either," she admits. "For years, all my brother ever talked about was you, but I couldn't meet you. I was surprised when you and Bellamy found me and I heard your name. I wanted to meet you for so long and it turned out that I already had."

Selia wishes she could the same, but she didn't know Octavia existed. She was beyond surprised when the truth came out after the dance. She couldn't believe that Bellamy was able to hide such a huge secret for the entire four years of their relationship.

"I always wondered what happened. One day, Bellamy just stopped talking about you and we weren't allowed to even mention your name. He changed after that," Octavia shares. "And all he said was that it just didn't work out."

"That's one way to put it," Selia mutters as she grows increasingly uncomfortable with the conversation.

"Well, what did happen?" she questions.

"You'd have to ask your brother," Selia says, trying to block the memory of that day. "It was just as surprising for me."

"Wait, I thought you dumped him."

"What?" The guard turns to gape at Octavia while irritation floods over her. "Is that what he told you?"

"No," Octavia answers quickly, sensing her anger. "He was just so depressed and heartbroken, I just assumed you broke up with him."

"Well, I didn't," Selia says a bit sharper than means to, causing the younger girl to flinch slightly. Sighing in apology, she continues. "He fell out of love, I don't see why he'd be heartbroken."

"Selia, I don't think he fell out of love with you," she tells her with a furrowed brow.

"He made it pretty clear, Octavia."

"Yeah, but you didn't see him afterwards," she argues. "And you definitely didn't see him when you were seizing from the poison."

Selia spends the rest of the night confused and thinking about Bellamy. The first thing she feels as she thinks of him being heartbroken after dumping her is anger. How dare he be depressed after all the things _he_ said. How dare he feel anything aside from indifference after that day. It was _her_ heart that he handed back all crumbled to pieces. It was her suffering because of him. So, why did Octavia see it differently?

The longer she thinks about it, the more anger fades to bewilderment. And eventually when she dozes off for a short time, she's just trying to imagine Bellamy's reaction to her nearly die from the poison.

…

Unity Day has the whole camp in high spirits as the hundred enjoy a well-deserved break fueled by Monty's moonshine. By nightfall, the party is in full swing with drinking games and drunk teenagers. Selia and Bellamy choose to take care of security so everyone else can have fun, but that doesn't stop the others from inviting the young guard to join them. She turns them down, but eventually a cup of unity juice finds her hands and one sip reminds her of past Unity Days when she was even younger.

Before anyone can pressure her into chugging the alcohol, she slips away from their sight and finds her way to Bellamy who is in just as good a mood as the rest of them.

"Unity juice?" Selia greets by offering him the cup.

"Busy beating everyone at the games?" He asks with a grin before taking a drink that causes his brows to shoot up at the strength.

"Nah, although the drunk ball tournament seems pretty fun."

"What do you think? One of the best Unity Days ever?"

"We're on Earth, the rest of our people will be here soon, and we're at party," Selia lists. "I'd definitely say this is at the top."

"Definitely," Bellamy agrees with his blush-inducing grin. "Although, we had some pretty good ones, too."

The ache in her heart resurfaces from the reminder, but she doesn't let it ruin her good mood.

"I do remember one in particular."

"That is not one I'm talking about," Bellamy grumbles, though his eyes still shine in amusement.

"Yeah, but that's for sure number one for me," Selia tells him with a bright smile. "You were _so_ funny – possibly the funniest you've ever been."

"I don't even remember that night," he sighs. "I drank so much."

"You don't remember the singing or the dancing or the –"

Bellamy interrupts her recollection with an embarrassed groan which only makes Selia laugh. Despite the way his face is turning red, the sound of her laughing makes Bellamy grin like a child.

"You also had a _lot_ to say that night," Selia continues through her giggles. "None of which was exactly pick-up material."

"Hey, I did get the girl afterwards," he reminds her somewhat smugly.

"You did," she agrees with the bittersweet taste of the past on her lips. "Who could turn down that kind of entertainment?"

Silence falls over them as they both think about what used to be. The Unity Day being referred to happened right before they got together. After a year of close friendship and months of flirting, the secret party they attended was expected to end well for both teenagers. However, Selia's winning streak during all the games kept her from drinking too much and caused Bellamy to be one of the drunkest people there. Luckily, it managed to break down the barriers of awkwardness and shyness as they spent the whole night laughing together.

Bellamy truly had a quite a bit to say, but what only Selia can remember are the things that won her over. There were no pick-up lines, as she told him, there was just slurred, but heartfelt honesty when he shared his feelings for her.

"Sel," Bellamy's voice brings her out of the happy memory. She turns to look up at him and sees the serious shift in his expression. "I need to tell you why."

Before he can even finish, Selia is shaking her head. "No, Bellamy, I don't want to talk about it."

"I know, but hear me out, please," he returns quickly. "I just want to explain, to give you answers."

"It was a long time ago, I don't need answers anymore," she lies.

"It wasn't you," he tells her, ignoring her fib. "You didn't do anything wrong and I didn't have a choice. I had to –"

"Hey, sorry to interrupt," Clarke cuts him off as she appears in front of them with a conflicted expression. "But we need to talk."

"We can talk later," Bellamy quips. "We're in the middle of something right now."

Generally, Selia would have jumped on this opportunity to get away from Bellamy and whatever conversation he wanted to have with her, but she hasn't been this close to an answer in three years. Her mind swirls at his words and a thousand new questions develop as she waits for the rest of his explanation. Why didn't he have a choice? What exactly did he have to do? Selia feels a new desperation bubbling in her chest as his unfinished answers hang in the air.

"Finn set up a meeting with the Grounders."

Both Selia's and Bellamy's heads snap to attention at Clarke's words, effectively ending their conversation whether either of them likes it or not.

…

From their place hidden in the trees, Selia, Bellamy, Raven, and Jasper watch Clarke speak with the Grounder leader on the bridge. Everyone aside from Selia was surprised to see Octavia had something to do with this, even more so when they watched her greet the man they tortured with a long hug. Then, they all seemed to flinch when Finn grabbed Clarke's hand, sensing the tension wafting from a stiffened Raven. Fortunately, both of those issues are quickly pushed back when the other Grounders arrive on horses.

After the amazement from seeing animals they only knew from pictures in school wears off, the seriousness of the situation returns. Clarke and the Grounder woman stand in the center of the bridge and from where Selia is standing, it does not look to be going well.

"Oh, no," Jasper mutters. "This is bad."

"What is it?" Selia questions, following his gaze with her scope.

"There's Grounders in the trees."

"I don't see anything," Bellamy says.

Before any of the other gunners can react, Jasper suddenly bolts forward, shouting for everyone to hear, and giving up their position. "They're going to shoot! Clarke, run!"

Once he pulls the trigger, bullets and arrows begin to rain down from both sides. Selia takes down an archer from one tree and a spear-thrower from another. She's searching for more when Bellamy grabs her jacket and yanks her backwards to where the others have already started to retreat.

They run for what feels like forever and Bellamy continuously stops to wait for Selia to catch up to the others. He's clearly running slower to stay close to her and the young guard can't even spare enough oxygen to tell him to keep going. Just like when they were searching for Octavia, Bellamy takes Selia's hand to help her as much as he can and it's enough to get them back to camp alive.

When they finally reach the walls, Bellamy releases Selia's hand and place his on her back as she keels over. Everyone is panting in a desperate attempt to fill their burning lungs, but Selia is trying to keep the little bit of food she's had in her stomach. Black spots blur her vision and her head feels like it's underwater, but it's not enough to block out the argument that ensues as soon as the others can breathe.

"You got something to say?" Bellamy demands, his hand still gently resting between her shoulder blades.

"Yeah, I told you no guns!" Finn yells.

"I told you we couldn't trust the Grounders," Clarke argues. "I was right."

"Why didn't you tell me what you were up to?" Raven shouts at her boyfriend.

"I tried, but you were too busy making bullets for your gun!"

"Hey," Selia croaks weakly as she tries to straighten up and defend her friend. "You're lucky she brought that!"

"They came there to kill you, Finn," Bellamy adds sternly.

The fight continues, but before anyone can storm off, Selia begins coughing violently. The little bit of talking she did in the midst of trying to get her breathing under control is too much for her chest. It's the wheezy, fluid-filled coughs that show her lungs are trying to expel something that shouldn't be there. She barely covers her mouth with the sleeve of jacket in time to keep the others staring at her in concern from seeing the blood spilling from her mouth.

"Selia, are you alright?" Raven questions in concern, her anger with Finn completely forgotten for the moment.

She can feel Bellamy holding one of her arms while his other hand remains on her back and the warmth of his worry sinks through her clothes. Unfortunately, her throat gets scratched from the force of the coughing, like claws running down the inside of her esophagus, leaving her with a burning pain and unable to quell their fear with lies.

A distant explosion from above distracts them all, though, and even Selia's flushed face turns up to see a ball of glowing light falling.

"The Exodus ship?" Bellamy questions in surprise. "Your parents are early."

Even without Clarke saying it, Selia instantly knows something is wrong. Through blurry eyes, she watches the Exodus ship catapult towards the ground with nothing to slow it down. Selia and Clarke are frozen in place as they watch the ship carrying their parents land behind the mountain in a catastrophic explosion.

As the mushroom cloud reaches for the stars, Clarke falls to her knees in horror while Selia sways on her feet. She stumbles backwards into Bellamy's chest and he's quick to catch her. She doesn't realize that she's stopped breathing until it's too late and the world goes black around her.

The last thought she has as everything fades away is that her father is gone.

* * *

Hello!

So, I know this chapter didn't have a lot going on in it, but I promise that I'll make up for it in the next chapter! I just really wanted Selia and Octavia to sort of build the beginning of a relationship because I definitely want them to be friends. I also wanted a more carefree exchange between Bellamy and Sel to show that their relationship has a lighter side.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Please, please, please review! I love getting feedback and I'm always open to suggestions and happy to answer any questions!

I was super excited to see all the new favorites and follows, too. I hope everyone continues to enjoy the story! I will be posting a new chapter next week.

Thank you so much for reading, and special thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows!

Hope to hear from you,

-V :)


	9. Chapter 9

The crash site is devastating and the wreckage surrounds them as they search for answers.

Selia's reaction to her father dying is completely unlike her, which leaves Bellamy and Raven beyond concerned. When she woke up after passing out, they expected, at the very least, a brief emotional breakdown, but there weren't even tears. Selia has always been a strong person and she knows what loss feels like, but she loves her father more than anything. She should be heartbroken and vulnerable, however, all they see is a straight-faced young woman determined to stay busy and dismissing anyone who tries to talk to her about the truth.

From a short distance, Bellamy watches as Selia busies herself with looking for the black box. Any one of the charred skeletons she passes could be Marcus Kane, but Selia doesn't even flinch. Her face is made of stone and completely unrecognizable to the people who care about her.

"What do we do?" Raven asks as she joins Bellamy.

"I have no idea," he admits.

"I promised she would see him again," the mechanic murmurs. "She didn't want to leave at first, but I promised her. It's my fault she didn't get a chance."

"It's not," Bellamy says. "You know she doesn't blame you and never would."

"She should," Raven sighs sadly.

Raven goes back to searching so she won't drown in her guilt, but Bellamy can't stop watching the auburn-haired girl. This new hard exterior isn't the only change he's noticed that's concerning. To start with, Selia has always been one of the top guards on the entire Ark, even as one of the youngest. She's more than a good shooter, she's faster than most, she can fight anyone, and her endurance can overcome everyone else here – or it could.

Now, Selia can barely keep up with anyone, let alone pass them. Escaping Lincoln's grasp should have been relatively easy for her, but she couldn't save herself from being stabbed. She's constantly out of breath and plagued by an unending wheeze, she's always exhausted, and she's lost so much weight that she just looks like a stick with clothes carefully hung over her. And then there was last night with the aggressive coughing fit that nearly tore her body apart.

Bellamy knows something is very wrong, he just doesn't know what it is yet.

…

Selia's fingers ache as she makes bullets, letting the process of filling the shell with gunpowder consume her thoughts. It's a mind-numbing task, but that's exactly what she wants. As long as she stays busy, nothing can hurt her. Not even the voice in the back of her head insisting that she face reality.

Bellamy pops his head into the tent in search of her and she barely glances up as he moves inside to stand beside the table where she works.

"What are you doing?"

"We need bullets," she answers simply. "Raven is working on the comms."

"Why don't you take a break?" he suggests.

"Don't need one," she mutters dismissively. "I could use some more gunpowder, though."

Despite the lightness in her request, Selia can feel Bellamy's worry grow like the warm lick of a campfire. It clouds the air around them like smoke, not only making it hard to breathe, but making it hard to focus as well. Then, he steps forward and covers her working hands with his own. She stares at his hand as he gently pries the unfinished bullet from her cold fingers.

Frustration bubbles inside her at his interruption because the task is all that is keeping her calm. Rather than snapping as instinct demands though, she just sighs tiredly and prepares to leave for a break that will consist of her finding something else to do out of Bellamy's sight. However, Raven appears at the tent's entrance before she can escape from him.

"You guys need to come see this," she tells them solemnly.

…

After the cause of the sickness becomes clear, the morale in the camp takes a sharp turn. As Clarke tries to take care of the sick while being one herself, the unaffected like Selia and Finn try to keep the peace. Chaos ensues when they realize the quarantine is useless and Octavia's return from seeing Lincoln only adds more panic. With people dying and half the camp covered in infectious blood, the promise of war at dawn leaves everyone chilled with fear and near to hopeless.

Filling rifle magazines with five bullets a pop doesn't exactly scream hopeful either, but then Finn comes up with a plan that may buy them some time.

So, here they stand in the tent – Selia, Bellamy, Raven, and Finn – with the makings of a very large bomb. The red of the hydrazine makes it look sweet like the syrup made from berries, but it could decimate every person in this camp if the group of four makes even one mistake. Understanding that possibility, the group is on edge as Raven explains how it will work.

"To be safe, you need to be at least two hundred feet away to make the shot," Raven tells them and they all turn to Selia.

"Yeah, no problem," the guard says with a shrug. "Who's going to plant the bomb?"

After a brief moment of silence, Finn volunteers and Selia doesn't miss the strange look of surprise mixed with disappointment that Raven gives him. She's confused and is about to tell the boys to leave for a minute so she can ask what's wrong, but then Finn and Bellamy start to argue. Raven listens and even joins in, while the older girl ignores what they're saying because it doesn't really matter. In the end, she'll be the one making the shot, so she'll make the decision of when to do it. Unfortunately for him, Selia doesn't agree with Finn at all and plans to wait until she can kill as many Grounders on the bridge as possible.

Selia is just staring at the bomb and zoning out while they talk when Raven's tone suddenly changes and catches her attention.

"Don't touch anything," the mechanic commands. Selia's eyes widen when she follows Raven's gaze.

"Bellamy, your nose," she murmurs in fear.

Without thinking, she moves forward and grabs his arm while he wipes the blood away with his other hand. Selia had gone into the dropship when Clarke got sick and was adamant about staying to take care of her, but eventually she was dragged away. Under better judgement, she realized that if she was reckless and ended up with the virus going around, she would most likely be in the pile of bodies. She's still shocked that her body was able to recover from the poison when the cancer has weakened her immune system so much.

However, all logic goes out the window for some reason when she sees that Bellamy is now sick.

"Sel, don't touch him," Raven urges quickly.

"Get the bomb packed," Selia orders. "We'll leave in ten minutes."

Selia and Bellamy struggle toward the dropship as the sickness quickly spreads through his body. She has his arm slung around her shoulder while hers is wrapped around his waist and she does her best to support the near dead weight. She forbids her own body from betraying them in this moment as they stumble past the members of the hundred who haven't gotten the virus.

"I can get there," Bellamy says, but his voice tells her different. "You have to make the shot, Sel. If that bridge doesn't blow –"

"Are you doubting me, Bellamy Blake?" Selia interrupts light-heartedly, trying to hide the strain in her own voice. "I won't miss."

Bellamy's legs start to give out and it nearly knocks them both off the ramp, but Selia manages to get him into the dropship as she calls for someone to help. Octavia soon comes running to their aid, horrified that her brother is now suffering from this Grounder-induced sickness.

"Clear some space!" Octavia commands of the others as she helps lay her brother down with Selia. They quickly turn him on his side when he begins coughing and blood spills from his mouth.

When he rolls back over, his sister cleans his face while he stares up at Selia with watery eyes. As the copper-haired girl stares down at Bellamy, she feels her carefully crafted façade crack. She had shoved everything down, locked it in a box, and planned to ignore it for as long as possible. She knows she isn't strong enough to handle her father's death, so she just isn't handling it, but this weighs heavily on the fragile box, threatening its integrity. Seeing Bellamy in a state that has led several others to death is worse than taking a hammer straight to it.

Not only that, but the feelings she had for him and never lost bubble to the surface, forcing her to realize that losing him any more than she already has just isn't an option.

"Okay," Selia whispers, moving to leave before it can all get the better of her. "You're okay, Octavia will take care of you."

As she stands to leave, Bellamy grabs her hand.

"Sel," he murmurs weakly and Selia kneels again to hear him better. Despite his sick state with blood staining his face, he wears a meaningful look that warms her from the intensity as he continues. "I wish I never walked away."

No matter what she does, that day will always be clear in her mind. She can still see his back as the distance grew between them and hear the sound of her own heart breaking. This should be a bitter reminder, a pathetic apology, but all it does is force the air from her lungs.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she gives him a small smile and gently caresses his fevered cheek.

"Just get better, Bell," she says.

Selia glances at Octavia who silently assures her that she will take care of Bellamy. Before any more damage can be done to her box, she rushes out of the dropship to find Finn and Raven.

…

"Monty, where's Raven?" Finn questions when they enter the tent and find the bomb missing.

"She left a while ago," he answers from his place curled up on a chair.

"The bomb, she's planting it herself," Finn says, turning to Selia.

Fear doesn't even allow the guard to reply as she takes off out of the tent. Finn quickly catches up and the pair chase after Raven as fast as they can. As worry consumes her, anger also makes itself known, and she finds herself taking it out on Finn.

"What the hell happened after I left?" Selia demands breathlessly while she struggles to keep up with him.

"Nothing," Finn tells her. "I left, too."

"Well, _something_ had to happen because we had a clear plan," she growls. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything!"

"Really? Raven hasn't been herself since we got here and that's because of you!" Selia snaps.

Finn looks at her in disbelief. "That has nothing to do with this," he argues.

"I thought you didn't know what happened," she quips in return.

"This is really not the time, Selia."

"Let's just be clear," she tells him as she stops for a much-needed break. She bends over to soothe her burning lungs. "If something happens to her, I'm going to kick your ass."

Finn stops as well, listening to the guard wheezing, and sighs at her threat. Her break lasts about fifteen seconds before they continue their chase, but it was enough time for Selia to convince herself that she can breathe once they find Raven.

The dark sky begins to fade and be replaced by the gray color of morning. Dawn approaches as the sun climbs behind the mountains and the pair is almost to the bridge. Selia is looking up at the horizon when her boot catches on a stray root. She lands hard in the dirt, finding other roots to painfully break her fall. Finn circles back to help her to her feet as she groans in frustration. His question of concern is cut off by a distant sound that chills them to the core.

"War drums," Selia mutters.

They share an equally fearful glance before taking off again. Moments later, they break through the tree line and the bridge comes into view with Raven on it. Finn yells her name while Selia looks through her scope.

"She's still building the bomb," she says. The war drums are getting louder and Selia starts to move forward to go help Raven, but Finn stops her.

"Line up the shot, I'll get her," he tells her.

Nodding in agreement, she watches Finn leave before kneeling to do as he said. Through her scope, she sees Raven fall and realizes that the virus has affected her friend too. She listens as the boy shouts his girlfriend's name with her heart pounding even louder than the Grounders' drums. He reaches her quickly, but it feels like a lifetime goes by before he's helping the mechanic off the bridge.

"Shoot, Selia!" Finn shouts from out of sight. "Shoot!"

Selia sees the white 'X' drawn on the tin and sets her rifle on it through the scope. From the trees, the flames of the Grounders' torches come into view as well. When she returns her gaze to the bomb, the consequences of running so fast come into play. The 'X' warps as her vision blurs and her hands shake from the adrenaline.

"No, come on," she mutters to herself. Grounders begin to emerge from the trees and it's now or never. "One shot, you can do this."

She closes her eyes and takes a deep, steadying breath. Her hands tighten around the rifle as she tries to control the shaking. Opening her eyes once more, she sees the Grounders have made it to the bridge.

"One shot," she repeats.

Selia forces everything to the background so she only sees the bomb and she only hears the blood rushing in ears. Her hands finally become steady and the 'X' stays in place. With one more breath, she pulls the trigger.

And the whole earth shakes.

…

The three of them are greeted with cheers and applause when they return to camp. That's the first time Selia really realizes that the shot she made saved all of them for at least another day. Unfortunately, even being recognized for their heroics isn't enough to make the young guard feel better. Bellamy looks better, but Raven is very sick now, so her worry is still her main focus. Plus, despite not being affected by the virus, Selia is on the verge of collapsing.

The exhaustion isn't enough to stop her from following Finn into the dropship where he lays Raven down in one of the hammocks. The mechanic rests for a while before Clarke comes in to check on her. Selia stands on one side while the blonde stands on the other and takes Raven's pulse.

"She's getting stronger," Clarke says, looking at Selia before turning back to see Finn.

Selia exhales in relief as she looks down at her unconscious friend. She smooths back her dark hair the same way Laney would when her daughter was sick. Raven wakes up as soon as Clarke leaves and smiles weakly at Selia.

"Hey, dummy," the guard greets, but she can't hide how happy she is to see her awake.

"Hey," Raven returns quietly.

"Don't worry, I won't yell at you until you're better," she assures.

"Gee, thanks," the younger girl groans softly.

Finn moves closer to make his presence known and Raven gives Selia a silent look that has her nodding in understanding.

"I'll come back later," she says, reaching for Raven's hand and squeezing it lightly.

Selia goes to her tent where her bed loyally waits for her. Her body begs for sleep and she isn't about to deny it something it needs so desperately. She peels her jacket off and tosses it on her blanket before she fixes the hasty bun she tied her hair in earlier. When she lifts her arms up, the muscles in her side and back tense and protest painfully. Pulling up her shirt, she twists around to see the long, arm-like bruise turning her skin purple from when she fell on the tree roots earlier.

It was just a clumsy fall, but the nasty mark left behind makes it seem worse. Heaving a sigh from the newest reminder of her fragile state, she sits on her bed to pry off her boots. As she begins to unlace them, her eyes land on the discarded jacket beside her. Selia grabs it and traces over the Guard patch sewn on the arm as the symbol brings memories from her childhood to the surface.

When her father would come home, Selia would take his jacket and wear it as she ran around their home pretending to be a guard. Marcus would even pretend to be a criminal so she could arrest him. He was never too tired to play with her and they spent as much time as they could together. All she ever wanted was to be like her parents – brave and good – and now they're gone.

All the fear from the virus affecting Bellamy and Raven and Clarke did plenty of damage to the box, but she managed to keep it locked through it all. Now, her memories pry it open so she can't hide from her loss anymore. Everything comes pouring out like a waterfall, flooding her tent and threatening to drown her.

The Exodus ship that her father was a passenger on crashed.

Her father is dead.

He's dead and she didn't get to say goodbye.

Tears well in her eyes as reality comes crumbling down on her shoulders. It's the knife-twisting type of pain that tightens her chest as the devastation consumes her. It's like a storm raging through her body, ripping it apart so she's left raw and open to all that she has lost. As the pressure builds in her head from fighting it back, a sob tears its way through her throat and she falls apart at the seams.

Selia curls up as tears leave streaks on her face and holds her Guard jacket close to her chest. She isn't sure how much time passes before he comes inside the tent, but eventually he appears as if he could sense her emotional breakdown. He kneels beside the makeshift bed and runs his fingers over her hair so gently that she barely feels it. And Selia peers up at him through misty eyes, seeing how his cheeks are still pale from being sick, but his eyes are glazed in concern.

All the guilt and regret and grief eat away at her heart, but Bellamy's caress is steady and soothing. There was a time when he was all she wanted whenever her heart hurt. Like a magnet, she was pulled straight to him after any bad day. And here he is with the promise of warmth and the strength that she needs and she realizes that the magnetism is still there.

So, she doesn't deny the desperation inside her that begs for Bellamy Blake's comfort. She sits up, still shaking with sobs, and flings her arms around him in a familiar embrace. His arms wrap around her in return, holding Selia so close to his chest that she can feel his heart beating like thunder. Her face rests against his shoulder as tears stain his jacket and she clings to him like he is the only thing keeping her from drowning.

No words are exchanged. No sympathetic apologies or empty promises of everything being okay. Just strong arms holding her together while the truth tries to tear her apart.

…

Bellamy sits on the ground beside Selia's bed while she tosses and turns in a fitful sleep. She didn't ask him to stay when she finally wore herself out from crying, but he couldn't bring himself to leave. There was only ever one time when he left her while she was hurting and the regret from that day still twists his stomach and claws his heart. So, he won't leave her now, not unless she made him.

He was scared in the dropship when the virus got to him, scared of dying, scared of never seeing the two people he loved ever again. When he woke up and found one of them there, he was relieved, but then he feared for the other who had run off to save them all. Octavia had looked him in the eye right then and told him if he ever wanted the other girl back, he would have to tell Selia everything.

"I ruined my chances," he told his little sister. "There is no getting her back."

"You love her and she loves you," Octavia argued. "Nothing is ruined, it's just a little broken."

Bellamy wanted his sister to be right, but he doubted that Selia still loved him. And if she did, it was only remnants of something that had existed for so long. However, he still owes it to the sleeping girl to tell her everything, to give her the answers he never realized she needed so badly. He isn't sure what will come of it, how she'll react, or if she will even believe him, but what matters is the truth. He'll give it to her no matter what.

Eventually, Selia gives up on her half-sleep and turns over to see Bellamy. Her dreary eyes, swollen from crying, widen in surprise by his presence, but he's relieved to see that she isn't upset.

"Hey, Sel," Bellamy greets quietly.

"Hi," she murmurs with a scratchy voice. She pushes herself into a sitting position, rubbing her eyes tiredly before grabbing her jacket and slinging it over her shoulders. "I should go check on Raven."

As Bellamy watches her pull her boots on, he steels himself with several deep breaths.

"Before you go," he says, clearing his throat nervously when she glances up from her laces. "I was hoping we could talk."

Selia considers his words, her forehead creased deep in thought, knowing exactly what he wants to discuss. He's prepared for her to deny him and try to run out of the tent as fast as possible. He's even bracing himself to stop her, but then her expression settles into an uncertain frown and she sighs.

"Okay," she agrees.

Not expecting her to agree so easily, it takes Bellamy a moment to understand. He quickly composes himself again and moves to sit beside her on the bed while she watches cautiously, her body stiff with nerves.

"What I said earlier before you left for the bridge," Bellamy begins as he faces her. Selia turns her head towards him, but the rest of her body won't move as her fingers dig into the bed. "I meant that. I wish I never walked away, but I thought it was the right thing to do back then."

"Well, when you don't love someone at all and can't see any way of it working out, I would say walking away is the right thing to do," Selia replies, bitterly quoting Bellamy from that day.

"It was all a lie," Bellamy insists. "All of it."

Selia blinks at him in disbelief, completely lost for words. Bellamy pushes forward to get his explanation out before she shuts him down indefinitely.

"Do you remember that day you and Marks were sent to Factory Station for something and on your way back you stopped at my door to see if I wanted to go to lunch?"

Selia gives the briefest of nods as her eyes narrow at the memory.

"You almost found Octavia that day," he continues. "We barely got her hidden in time and Evan noticed something wasn't right with the floor because I couldn't get the panel to lay right before you came inside."

"Your mom interrupted Evan," Selia says. "She sent us out really quick, I thought she was mad at me."

"She wasn't mad, she was scared," he tells her. "She was always nervous about our relationship when she realized who you were, but we were kids, so she thought it wouldn't last. Only, it did last and then you graduated to the Guard and kept earning higher and higher security clearance. Not only were you part of it, but you were always around someone else in the Guard too.

"And the more serious our relationship got, the higher the risk of you learning about Octavia. So Mom became even more terrified of what could happen if you found out or if Evan or your father did. After that day, she knew it was only a matter of time before you did."

Selia begins to shut down like Bellamy knew she would. She hops off the bed, crossing her arms tight against her chest and shaking her head with her back is towards him.

"I wanted to tell you," Bellamy says, a shade of urgency now present in his voice. "I told her that I trusted you, but she said if I cared about you, then I wouldn't put you in that position."

Silence fills the tent as Bellamy waits for his words to sink in, all the while staring at her back and trying to read her reaction just based on the set of her shoulder blades. An eternity passes before she spins around to face him, brown eyes hardened with anger.

"I'm supposed to believe that you broke up with me because your mommy told you to," she scoffs. "You were twenty years old."

"She did tell me to and I thought it was the right thing to do to protect my family."

"Because I'm such a big threat," Selia quips sharply. "So did she also give you a script for when you did it or did you get to improvise that?"

Bellamy shakes his head as the memory claws its way to the surface, "No, everything I said was to make sure that I burned the bridge between us because I knew I wasn't going to be able to stay away from you on my own. I never wanted to hurt you or make you feel like there was something wrong with you."

"Well, you did a good job with that bridge," she mutters. "And a really crappy job with me."

"I should have trusted you, Sel," he says. "I should have told you the truth."

"Yeah, you should have."

"I'm sorry," Bellamy tells her genuinely, but Selia winces.

"What am I supposed to say, Bellamy?" she demands in a soft voice that belies her frustration. "We were together for four years and you just threw me away."

"I know –"

"And now I'm supposed to forgive you because of your family?"

"No," Bellamy answers. "I don't expect you to forgive me, I just wanted to give you answers."

Selia stares at him for another silent moment and Bellamy is certain he sees tears beginning to well in her eyes before she finally nods. Without another word, she walks away, stopping just at the opening to her tent. He holds his breath, wishing she would turn back around and stay, but he knows she won't. His shoulders sink in defeat because he didn't expect forgiveness, but he hoped for it.

As if reading his mind, Selia answers so softly that he can barely hear the words.

"It's too late."

* * *

Hello friends!

I'm so, so sorry for the delay! It's been a rough week and I meant to get this up on Thursday, but I just finished editing it.

So, the truth is out, Selia knows why Bellamy broke up with her! What do you all think?

Please review and let me know! I love hearing from you and I'm really curious to know how you all feel about his reason!

My goal for chapter 10 is to be posted on Thursday, but I'm still writing it so I can't make any promises. I will do my best!

Thank you so much for reading and for favoriting and following. Special thanks to my lovely reviewers as well!

Hope to hear from you,  
-V :)


	10. Chapter 10

Selia sits at Raven's side while she sleeps off the virus in the dropship. Her knee bounces wildly and her fingers drum on her thigh as she remains deep in thought, replaying her conversation with Bellamy over and over until she is certain her head will explode.

Three years had to pass, but she finally got her answers. Unfortunately, Bellamy's answers were ridiculous. Selia expected him to tell her that there was someone else or there was some flaw to her character that he couldn't see past or that he had just been in puppy love and he grew out of it when they reached adulthood, but then he goes and tells her that it was to protect his family.

She's furious. Furious that they didn't trust her, furious that he said all that he did, furious that she actually feels guilty for being furious when she knows the outcome of people learning the truth about Octavia's existence. She wants to hate the entire Blake family for this because of how much she suffered, but she can't.

Selia never would have done anything to endanger their family. If she knew about Octavia, she would have done everything she could to protect her. She's shocked to learn that Aurora didn't trust her after so many years, but she can't even understand why Bellamy didn't. After four years together, he should have known what Selia would do. If he did trust her like he said, then why didn't he just tell her anyway? Part of her wishes he would have just ignored his mom to prove he trusted her while the other part can't say for sure if she would have ignored her parents in a similar position, which of course only frustrates her more.

The entire situation is just crazy to her and the longer she thinks about it, the more she's sure that she'll lose her mind. The silence of the dropship only broken by Raven's soft snores doesn't help either. It just gives her more time to obsess over everything and all the ways life could have gone if someone had told her the truth in the first place.

Finally, she can't take it anymore. She jumps up from her seat and leaves the dropship, making it all the way to Bellamy's tent before she has a chance to think about what she's doing. Selia barges inside without warning, words practically overflowing from her mouth as she prepares to yell at him, but her breath catches in her throat when she sees him standing without his shirt on to get ready for bed.

"Selia?"

She closes her eyes for a moment to recompose herself and to try to hide the embarrassment she feels from reverting to a teenage girl at the sight of his bare chest.

"Let's get something straight," she says as she opens her eyes, her voice holding the strength she wants. "What you did sucks. I get that you were trying to keep your family safe, but you hurt me and that's not okay."

Bellamy nods in agreement, but he's wise enough not to interrupt, especially as she moves closer to him.

"There was a lot at risk, I know that now, and I understand your mom's fear. I understand why it was easier for you to just agree with her and end it. But you did a lot more than just burn a bridge, Bellamy," she tells him, the strength waning to something far more real, something broken. "You burned _me_. I couldn't eat or sleep, I could barely breathe. I spent all my time wondering where things went wrong and believing that there was something about me that just couldn't be loved."

"Sel," Bellamy whispers, horrified by what he didn't know.

"And now you tell me why and I'm stuck being pissed off but feeling guilty about it. I want to be angry with your mom and your sister, to blame them for what happened, but I can't because I know that's not fair. And that just sucks even more. You made everything so difficult."

Selia has stopped walking now, leaving a foot between them, and she heaves a breath to make up for all the talking.

"I'm sorry, Sel," he says.

Selia shakes her head and her eyes trail down his chest as her heart skips a beat. "And you told the truth at the worst time," she mutters, thinking of the ticking clock inside her.

"What do you mean?" he asks softly.

Some wave of urgency suddenly falls over her as the clock echoes. She doesn't let herself think about it as her hand reaches through the gap and her fingers trace over the tightened muscles of his chest. With her heart pounding thunderously, she's encouraged to feel Bellamy's in a similar state and her hand trails up his skin until she reaches his neck.

"I don't what I'm doing here," she admits.

Their eyes connect as their chests rise and fall nervously and there's a frozen moment when either of them can move away, but neither do. Selia's hands move up to thread through his soft hair and she stands on her toes with her gaze shifting to his lips. Before she can think about the consequences of what she's doing, she presses her lips against his in a soft kiss.

She pulls away just enough to look in his eyes again, wondering if he'll stop this himself, but all she sees is that they've already rekindled the fire that never really burned out.

Bellamy's arms wrap around Selia, pulling her flush against his chest as he kisses her deeper. His lips are warm and firm, but they caress hers sweetly, remembering every way she moves. Their lips part and the kiss intensifies as their bodies grow heated. Her lungs burn for air, but she realizes she only wants to breathe in Bellamy. She wants to get closer, she _needs_ to get closer.

Selia's hands leave his hair so she can wriggle out of her jacket. They break away for a fraction of a second to discard her shirt as well, but their lips return to each other like magnets. As their bodies entwine, Bellamy's hands explore her smooth skin, refamiliarizing himself with her body. The entire world has disappeared around them as it always used to before until Bellamy's palm, rough from the hard work of survival, rubs over the new bruise staining her skin.

She gasps against his mouth, unable to ignore the shock of the pain, and he knows her well enough to tell it's not from pleasure. His hands go still and he pulls away enough to look at her in concern.

"What's wrong?" he asks, his voice hoarse from their kiss.

"Nothing," Selia lies. With her fingers still twisted in his hair, she's able to pull him back and continue their kiss.

However, after briefly meeting her lips, Bellamy pulls away again, his worry not so easily forgotten. He steps away to look at her fully and to keep her from distracting him again, but that's when he sees her body and all the secrets she's kept hidden beneath her clothes for so long. Selia watches his brows furrow as he traces over the pale skin stretched over her ribs with his finger. Her heartbeat becomes rapid and unsteady, not from the heat of the moment, but from the way his eyes dim with knowledge she never expected to see.

She quickly backs up, trying to shield her bony body from his view, but her thin arms do little to help. Then, without thinking, she turns to grab her shirt, giving him a full view of the vicious bruise he touched. Selia knows it's too late as she struggles to get her shirt on and the consequences she had so carelessly tossed aside now come crashing down on her.

Of course he knows about the cancer that took her mother. He listened to her describe every detail she could remember, he knew the signs and symptoms, the way the treatment worked, the beginning and the end. Of course he remembers all those conversations despite so many years since.

"How long?"

Selia ignores the question as she gets her jacket back on and fumbles with the zipper, rushing to hide everything once more.

"Selia," Bellamy presses.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she dismisses weakly. She heads towards the only escape without even looking at him, but he moves quicker.

Bellamy's hand wraps around her elbow to pull her back but she still avoids his gaze.

"How long have you known, Selia?" he growls, trying to shield his fear with anger. When she still refuses to speak, he grabs her chin and forces her to look at him. "How long?"

Tears fill her eyes, whether from the terror shining so brightly in his or from finally being forced to admit what's wrong, she isn't sure, but the urge to cry weighs heavy on her chest.

"Long enough."

Bellamy's voice shakes as he releases her chin, "Why didn't you say anything?"

"What's there to say?" Selia returns in a whisper. "I'm sick and I'm running out of time."

Before anything else can be said, she pulls away from him and leaves the tent without a glance back.

…

 _"What are you doing?" Bellamy asks as he finds Selia staring out of the rectangular window that looks over Earth._

 _"Trying to decide if I would like the ocean as much in person as I do from all the books," she answers without hesitation. "It's so vast, I think it would be scary, but space seems just as endless, if not more."_

 _"I think you'd like it," he tells her. "I don't think anything on Earth would scare you."_

 _"I wish I could be scared on Earth," she murmurs. "Because at least we would be on Earth."_

 _"Four more generations, Sel," he says. "Our great-great grandchild might be the one to lead everyone home."_

 _It's a small slip that Bellamy doesn't even hear until Selia turns to him with wide eyes. He stares back in confusion until he realizes what he said –_ our _grandchild. Not his or hers, but theirs._

 _"I-I didn't mean…I just meant –"_

 _Bellamy's freckled face starts to turn red and Selia's cheeks turn pink as well, but a smile still graces her lips._

 _They're young still, just barely adults, but they've been together for three and a half years. Selia has already graduated to the Guard, one of the youngest on the Ark to make it, and Bellamy is still figuring things out. Their future is laid out before them, predictable, but open. No one has their one allotted child at this age or even gets married, but it's still something he thinks about from time to time._

 _He meant it, of course. He thinks of his future child and his child's child not as his, but as theirs. He thinks of a future that is shared entirely with Selia, he couldn't imagine it any other way. In fact, he doesn't even picture a single day without her, but that all seems like too much to say right now._

 _Selia turns back to the window while Bellamy nearly drowns in embarrassment, but then she offers him a raft before he sinks._

 _"I think they will be," she says as if this is the most normal conversation they have ever had, even with her still pink cheeks. "And our grandchild won't be afraid of the ocean either."_

That was so long ago, before he ruined everything, before he gave up any dream of the future to protect his family. Only, he didn't protect his family because Selia was a part of it and all he did was hurt her. He wishes he could go back and just tell her the truth that day instead of breaking her with lies. It was stupid to ever doubt her, to believe for even a fraction of a second that Selia _wouldn't_ protect them.

Bellamy never would have lost her and he has spent every moment since she arrived on Earth with the blind and foolish hope that with a miracle he may be able to win her back. But he's learned the hard way how stupid that hope was because whether he wins her back or not is irrelevant. He's going to lose her again no matter what and she'll be gone forever this time.

He knows all about the cancer that killed Selia's mother. All the strange things that had been happening since she arrived with Raven, all the changes he didn't understand, finally make sense. They are all part of an illness that eats away piece by piece until there is nothing left. And that illness is what Laney Kane fought for two years on the Ark with doctors and real medicine and still succumbed to it so how can there be any hope for Selia? How can she survive something so poisonous without any sort of treatment?

She can't.

That's the horrible truth. That's the truth that squeezes him, constricts his body, forces him into a room that becomes smaller and smaller until he can't move an inch. With his body trapped in a tight box, not a breeze of oxygen flowing around him, Bellamy snaps. All the pain from ruining the past years and having the future stolen from them cuts off all rational thought. His vision is painted red, his heart beats like a war drum, and his head threatens to explode all because of the pain throbbing in his chest and resonating through his whole body.

Bellamy doesn't realize what he's done to his tent or the raucous he has caused during these few minutes he's been blinded with rage. His vision only clears when Octavia bursts inside with wide eyes and 'what the hell are you doing?' poised on her lips. Then and only then does he see the heap of wreckage his makeshift bedroom has become. Every object thrown away from its rightful place, upturned in the dirt which is brought up into the air from his boots. And as the cloud of dust settles around the two Blake siblings, Bellamy falls apart.

He loves her with every fiber of his being and she has always been his home.

So what happens when the fibers keeping a person together just tear apart?

And what happens when someone loses their home for good?

…

 _Bellamy slips through the door of their home, careful to shield the people inside from those passing through the corridor. Like every day when he returns from dinner with Selia Kane, his face is bright and happy as he tries to hide the beaming smile stretching his cheeks. Octavia waits for him like always, so excited to hear all his stories today. So excited to hear about_ her _._

 _"Good day?" Mom asks with a knowing smile of her own, understanding something, love maybe, that Octavia just doesn't._

 _"Yeah," Bellamy answers simply, his grin breaking through. "How was yours?"_

 _Mom doesn't get a chance to answer as Octavia pounces. She wants to know every detail of his day, of his date with Selia, of everything that she doesn't get to see while she's locked away in secret. Bellamy laughs good-naturedly at his little sister's interruption and kindly refrains from torturing her any longer. He tells her a million things and she asks twice as many questions, but most of them revolved around his girlfriend._

 _How did she do her hair today? What did she do in class? Did she say anything funny? Was she happy? What does she want to do tomorrow?_

 _But just like every conversation they ever have involving Selia Kane, it ends with Octavia saying one thing._

 _"I wish I could meet her."_

 _To the young girl who has never seen the outside of their home, never met anyone aside from her brother and mother, Selia sounds like an angel. Like a goddess from one of the stories her mother reads or a princess from a fairytale. Maybe she's nothing like that and it's only Bellamy's love for her that portrays her that way, but Octavia doesn't think so. Everything she knew about her brother's girlfriend made her believe that Selia was the best person outside of their room._

 _And she wanted nothing more than to know her in real life too._

 _This conversation always ended the same with a stiff, uncomfortable silence since all three of the Blake family knew that could never happen, but the words somehow seemed too cruel to say. Today it ends differently, though. There is no sad quiet interrupted by Mom changing the subject quickly or a sympathetic frown from Bellamy or the disappointed shrug from herself. Today, Bellamy's smile softens, but the happiness never fades._

 _"Someday," he promises._

 _Even as young as she is, Octavia realizes the meaning behind his words. She hears the depth of his love for Selia and so does their mother. Bellamy has never lied to her and she knows that today is no different which means he sees a future far past sharing classes and dinners together. Their relationship is more than anyone expected._

 _Octavia grins to herself, letting the conversation end for now while still clinging to the idea that someday she will meet the person her brother loves so much._

Octavia shakes the memory off as she pauses near Selia's tent. Moments later, Raven exits without noticing the girl waiting there. Word spread quickly after morning came and the mechanic had recovered enough from the virus to move into a tent with her best friend. Part of her felt bad that the relationship between Raven and Finn was over, but Octavia – well, everyone really – knew it was only a matter of time. Finn clearly felt something for Clarke that couldn't be hidden.

She follows Raven with her gaze until she's certain the mechanic won't return immediately and then she barges into the tent where Selia has been hiding since the other girl awoke.

The guard is sitting on her bed with her head hung in her hands. Octavia can't help but think that this girl in no way resembles the mythological princess she imagined as a child. The larger-than-life image she conjured back then is crumpled into a ball and thrown to the ground. All that's left is a too thin woman who's fading away before her eyes.

Sensing Octavia's presence, Selia glances up, probably expecting Raven as the younger girl notices the flash of surprise. However, the guard knows what brought on this unusual visit and she sighs from the exhaustion that paints bruises beneath her eyes.

"No one knew," Selia says before Octavia can begin her line of questioning. "I didn't even tell my dad."

"Why?" Octavia asks softly.

Surprise flits across Selia's face again like she wasn't expecting the gentle tone. Maybe she expected anger and demands for answers that she really doesn't have, but that's not why Octavia found her.

"I didn't know how," Selia tells her before turning her gaze to the ground and whispering her next words so quietly that Octavia isn't sure she's meant to hear them. "I was scared."

"Bellamy didn't tell me very much," she says, moving to sit beside the guard. "Just that were sick, that you had cancer like your mom."

"There's not much else to tell."

"I've never seen my brother like that. I've never seen him break down and cry," Octavia admits. "It scared me."

"It's gets easier," Selia promises. "It's just the shock."

"There's got to be something out there that could help," the teenager says, revealing the real reason for her visit. "Clarke made this tea from seaweed that saved Jasper's life when we first got here and Lincoln knows a lot of medicines. They have healers, maybe we could take you to one –"

"Octavia," Selia interrupts with a gentle smile. "I appreciate it, really I do, but we both know that the Grounders don't have anything to cure cancer."

"Don't you want to try?" She demands.

Octavia is plagued by the image of her brother crying, by the feeling of him shaking in her arms, by the crack in his voice when he told her about Selia's sickness, so she can't just let this go. She doesn't want Selia to die. She likes her and thought they were becoming friends and it's not as if she has a lot of friends to lose, but more than that she can't let the woman her brother loves be taken from him forever. Not when they actually have a chance to fix what was broken years before on the Ark.

But Selia doesn't feel what Octavia does.

"I'm going to die, I've already accepted that," Selia murmurs. "The longer you and Bellamy try to fight this, the harder it will be when it's over."

Tears well in Octavia's eyes as the guard stands up and offers her hand. The younger girl eyes it in confusion before taking it and standing as well. Selia wraps her in a hug that seems impossibly familiar. Maybe all those years of imagining who she was with all her brother's stories makes it feel like she really knows her. Or maybe that's just Selia. Maybe she's just the kind of person that you always feel like you know because you always feel her warmth no matter who you are.

Regardless, Selia's hug reminds Octavia of her childhood, of hopes and dreams, of a life before her mother was executed just for giving birth to her. It reminds her of that promise for _someday_ that's finally come. And when she remembers that word her brother said with so much meaning, she realizes that all she ever wanted from Selia Kane – friendship, family, love – she's got.

But it will be ripped away soon, like everything else.

…

After another exhausting day, Selia nearly collapses on her bed. She doesn't even remove her boots or jacket as she stares at the tent canvas shielding her from the night sky.

"You okay, Sel?" Raven asks with a chuckle when comes into their now shared tent and sees the older girl's state.

Selia hums a bland response as she tries to fight the fluttering of her eyelids. Today has been a complete mess. Raven broke up with Finn last night so Selia tried to focus on the aftermath of that and help her friend to get through such a hard time. More strenuous than that was her interactions with the Blake siblings.

It was her own fault that Bellamy figured out that she was sick. All the pieces are there for anyone to put together if they pay close enough attention and Selia has been doing everything she can to hide them, but she threw that out the moment she visited Bellamy's tent. She has no idea how her plan for yelling escalated to such a steamy reunion, but she should have been smarter than that. She knew if anyone could piece the puzzle together, it would be him, and she practically handed him the whole picture intact.

Octavia's visit surprised her earlier with her desire to find a cure. It's funny how Selia feels bad for them when she's the one who's sick, but it's probably because she understands better than anyone what it feels like to be given the news. Selia once believed that doctors could fix everything and sick people are only sick for a little while, but that was when she was a child. The days of being consoled over problems that are left to fate are over and she has graduated to consoling others.

Maybe it should make her happy that the two people who know are so upset about it because it shows that they care, but it only makes her feel guilty. Even more so when she glances at Raven's bed beside hers. Soon, she'll have no choice but to tell her too and Clarke.

Telling them won't be as hard as telling her dad and that thought brings up emotions that has her sickness paling in comparison. Once again, she must face the fact that her father is gone forever. All she's been able to tell herself in comfort is that soon she'll be with him again. If Heaven is real as her Nana and her mother raised her to believe, she won't have to be without him much longer. The little Kane family will finally be whole again pretty soon.

But as long as Selia has wanted that, as much as she _wants_ that, her heart still aches for the family without the Kane name that she will lose.

* * *

Hello!

I've really been trying to post this since Saturday, but there were some technical difficulties over the weekend so I apologize for the delay!

So this wasn't how I was originally going to write them finding out about her sickness, but I did want Bellamy to be the first one to figure it out. I was also going to have everyone learn about it in one chapter, but that seemed like way too much.

What do you all think? I promise this is not the end of the emotional reactions from Bellamy and from the others who don't know yet. This is just their first reactions. Did you like the memories and do you want me to do that with Raven and Clarke or no?

Please review and let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions or questions!

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following. And special thanks to my lovely reviewers!

Hope to hear from you all,

-V :)


	11. Chapter 11

Later in the night, Selia wakes up to a familiar song being hummed beside her. She opens her eyes to the feeling of fingers gently combing through her tangled hair and finds someone she hasn't seen in a long time.

"Mom?" she whispers in surprise.

"Hi, Selly," Laney replies in her sweet voice.

Selia struggles to sit up, glancing around the tent to find the bed beside hers empty, and her mother sitting next to her clear as day. She thinks that panic should be welling inside of her, but Laney's hand grabs hold of hers to keep her calm.

"It's okay, honey," she promises as Selia's eyes meet Laney's green ones. "Everything is okay."

"Am I dead?" the younger Kane asks.

"No, not yet," her mother assures. "But it's almost time."

Whether this is a dream or not, Selia knows it's the truth. The metaphorical clock inside of her is ticking through her final hours. She can feel her body beginning to shut down as her organs give up the fight. She's cold in a way that can't be helped by jackets or blankets. She's weaker, more tired, and she has completely lost concern over her continued struggle to breathe. It might explain why she was so careless with Bellamy because perhaps her subconscious wanted someone to know now that the end is so very near. Yet, none of that comforts her.

"I don't want to die, Mom," she mutters. "I'm not ready."

"I know, my love. I wasn't either," Laney admits. "But you need to get ready to go. Say your goodbyes to your friends, tell them the truth, tell them you love them. You don't want to go through this alone."

She won't go through this alone, she's certain of that. And she really has no other choice than to tell everyone else the truth, but Selia isn't sure she can say goodbye. While she was honest with Octavia, she has accepted her unavoidable fate, she isn't ready to give up the fight just yet and saying goodbye to the people she loves seems like that's exactly what she's doing. Even knowing that it's nothing more than a losing battle, she can't bring herself to admit defeat.

"You don't want to leave this life with words unsaid, Selia," her mother says as if she can read her daughter's mind in this strange dream.

Selia nods as she looks at their connected hands and remembers the way Laney's went limp on that fateful day. Will someone be holding her hand when it goes limp and will the memory stay with them for the next sixteen years?

"Does it hurt?"

"No, Selly," she promises. "It's when all the pain stops. It'll just be like falling asleep."

"I'm afraid," Selia murmurs.

"I know." Her mother gently cups her cheek, lending the dreaming girl some warmth. "But we'll be together soon."

…

In conscious world, Raven is the one who really wakes up later in the night, but not by a surprise visitor. Instead, it's Selia's violent coughing fit that startles her out of sleep. The mechanic jolts upright to see her best friend shaking as blood spills from her mouth. She quickly climbs out of bed and rushes to Selia's side to find the guard still unconscious. The coughs quiet to a gurgling noise masking her breathing and all Raven can think of is to turn the other girl onto her side before running to get help.

She calls for Clarke, not caring in the slightest if she wakes the entire camp in the process. The blonde soon comes out of her tent, but not before Bellamy does.

"What's going on?" he demands as he reads the panic on her face.

"It's Sel –" Raven starts to say, pointing to their shared tent, but he's already gone.

"Raven, what's wrong?" Clarke questions as she nearly collides with the mechanic standing right outside her tent.

"Come on," she grabs the girl to drag her after Bellamy. "It's Selia, she just started coughing like crazy and there's blood like the virus!"

"How could she get it so much later than everyone else?"

"You tell me!"

The two girls rush into the tent to find Bellamy kneeling beside Selia's bed and gently brushing her hair away from her face. The coughing and shaking has ended, but her breathing is still shallow and noisy. Bellamy produces a rag that was hidden beneath Selia's pillow and wipes the blood from her mouth. Raven peers at her still unconscious best friend and sees through the glow of the flashlight Bellamy turned on that Selia's skin is as pale as the moon while her lips are dry and taking on a bluish tint.

"What's wrong with her?" Raven asks, barely able to hide the crack of fear in her voice.

Clarke moves forward to kneel next to Bellamy and examine the sick girl. The blonde touches Selia's forehead in search of the fever that accompanied the virus everyone else in camp had survived, but it's not there.

"She's cold," Clarke says. "It's not like the virus."

"If it's not the virus, then what is it?" Raven presses.

Before Clarke can answer, Octavia bursts into the tent with wide, fearful eyes. She looks past everyone as her gaze lands on Selia and the worry clear on her face is enough to confuse Raven.

"Is she –"

"No," Bellamy answers before his sister can finish her question.

"Wait, do you know something?" Raven demands.

Bellamy shakes his head slightly, but not as an answer. He just continues to stroke Selia's hair while Octavia watches with a sinking expression. It's clear that they know more about what's happening than Raven and Clarke, but it doesn't make any sense. Octavia doesn't talk to Selia and Selia avoids Bellamy like the plague. Raven glares between the siblings, desperate for the answers that they clearly have.

"What the hell is going on?" she growls.

"She's sick," Bellamy murmurs.

"I can see that much," Raven snaps.

"No, she's _been_ sick," Octavia offers further explanation.

The mechanic still doesn't understand and grows more frustrated with the tense silence that envelopes them. Finally, Bellamy turns to her, his face solemn.

"She's dying, Raven. She has cancer."

…

Hours pass of Raven sitting beside Selia with the other four still in the tent. They all listen to her raspy breaths that come too slow for comfort. Bellamy explains what he knows and how Octavia found out, then Clarke decides that Selia has pneumonia. She skirts around the possibility that the added sickness will be how she meets her end because her immune system is too weak to fight the infection. They all understand, though. Selia is almost out of time.

When dawn finally comes, they decide on shifts so someone will always be with her. Raven takes the first shift while the others go to work or to try to get more sleep. The mechanic sits on her bed and stares at her best friend for a long time, trying to wrap her mind around the truth. This whole time Selia has been sick and she didn't even realize. She dragged the older girl all the way to Earth, brought her to the middle of a war, and Selia has gone along with everything while hiding her terminal cancer.

Raven wonders how horrible of a friend she truly is that she couldn't see what now seems so obvious. She was so focused on Finn, so consumed with the pain of losing him and the jealousy left from his relationship with Clarke, that she couldn't even hear the ticking clock right beside her.

Now, she's going to lose the last person she has.

It's too much for her, she can't deal with it. She can't watch Selia struggle to breathe for the next few days until she finally just stops breathing. Raven can't stay here. She begins packing a bag of things she might need, intending to grab some rations and fill her water before she ventures into the woods. Her hands tremble like leaves in the wind as she stuffs her few belongings in the pack as quietly as possible. Tears even well in her eyes as she thinks about what she's doing but staying doesn't seem like an option and it's definitely not something she wants to face.

Unfortunately, Bellamy chooses this moment to come check on Selia and he catches Raven in her haste.

"How is she?" he asks before noticing what the mechanic is doing. "Where are you going?"

"The hell out of here," she grumbles, clearing her throat from the sob threatening to break through her chest.

"No way, you're not leaving," Bellamy argues.

Anger washes over Raven, an emotion she is far more adept to handle. It's familiar and puts a protective barrier between her and everyone else. So, she spins around with a glare to face the only person here to direct her anger.

"Really?" she spits. "And what makes you think you can tell me what to do? Aren't you a _janitor_?"

Bellamy rolls his eyes, "Where are you even going to go?"

"Into these damn woods," she says. "Don't worry about it."

"What about Selia?"

Raven's angry façade falters when he says Selia's name and Bellamy sees it. She knows he sees through the stone mask, finding all her fear and pain. A lifetime of being left behind is what is driving Raven away. Anyone she has ever cared about has left, her mother, Finn, and now the sleeping guard in their tent. She has already had to face losing the first two and still struggles to get over it, so how can she be expected to lose Selia and still go on with everyone else in this camp?

"She doesn't need me," Raven mutters before turning back to grab the pack.

"I get it," Bellamy says, blocking Raven's path as she tries to exit the tent. "If you leave her first, then she can't leave you."

"Move," she growls.

"You said she was your best friend," he reminds the mechanic. "And you're her best friend."

"Evan Marks is her best friend," Raven scoffs. She always knew that their friendship would never be as strong as the one Selia shared with Evan. The childish part of her, buried as far down as can be, was always envious of him though.

"Evan Marks, like everyone else on the Ark, is dead. The people in this camp is all she has and she needs us," he tells her with shades of urgency weaved into his voice. "She needs _you_. Raven, you can't leave her."

"What am I supposed to do?" she demands. "I can't help her, I can't save her! I'm just supposed to sit here and watch her die? She couldn't even tell me she was sick!"

"Look, I've known Selia a lot longer than you, but I know that you know just as well that there aren't a lot of things that scare her. But she's terrified, Raven, and that's why she didn't tell anyone."

Of course Selia is afraid, but the reminder is somewhat sobering because Bellamy is right. Selia is so often the image of strength and stupidly courageous, but all Raven sees now is the fragile girl barely holding on to the last days of her life.

"So yeah," Bellamy continues as tears threaten to spill from Raven's eyes. "We are just supposed to sit here and watch. We're supposed to sit here and be strong so she can be weak. And you can't leave her, Raven, because if you do, trust me, you will always regret it."

The tight fist holding her pack slackens with her resolve.

"Be the person for her that she has always been for you."

…

 _Raven paces outside the doors that separate everyone else from the Guard's headquarters. She nervously waits for one person in particular, receiving strange looks from everyone else who passes. She clearly doesn't belong in this corridor, but she needs to speak to Selia Kane and has no other way of finding her._

 _Finally, the hydraulic doors pull apart and the young guard walks through still in her uniform. She comes to a halt when Raven steps in front of her and she stares at the younger girl in cautious surprise._

 _"Hello," Selia greets politely._

 _"Hey," the mechanic responds awkwardly. "I need to talk to you."_

 _"Your boyfriend is fine," Selia assures, assuming that's where the conversation is going. "The Sky Box isn't that bad. Same food, same rules, just a locked door, but you can only seem him on visitation days. There's no exceptions."_

 _"No, it's not about trying to see Finn," Raven says, blocking Selia once more when she tries to move away._

 _"Then, what is it?"_

 _"I don't understand why you did that. Why you didn't arrest me when you found me…"_

 _"Well, judging by the fact that you were hiding and Finn wasn't, I assumed the punishment would be a lot harsher for you if you got caught. You are eighteen, aren't you?"_

 _"Yeah, I am, but you're a guard. I don't get it," Raven tells her, the mechanic's distaste for authority figures seeping through in her tone. "Those men would have arrested me. I mean, what do you want in return? I don't really have anything to give except my rations, but –"_

 _"What are you talking about?" Selia cuts her off, completely bewildered. "I don't want your rations, I don't want anything from you. Why would I?"_

 _"Why would you save my life like that without wanting something in return?" Raven counters. "I just don't want it to be held over my head, so I'll pay you back whatever you want…"_

 _"Look, I didn't become a guard so I could arrest people and sentence them to death. I did it so I could protect people. Sometimes that means enforcing harsh laws and other times it means ignoring them," the older girl explains. "You don't owe me anything and whoever taught you that kindness comes at a cost clearly didn't know kindness themselves."_

 _This time Selia is successful in moving around the other girl because Raven is too busy trying to wrap her head around her words. The only person to ever show her kindness without a cost was Finn. She'd unfortunately learned long ago that the rest of people are selfish and greedy. So, it's no surprise that Raven struggles to understand the guard's willingness to help a complete stranger even if getting caught could not only cost her job but her own life as well. She also can't understand how dismissive Selia Kane is about the entire situation when she hadn't even received a 'thank you' yet._

 _Raven glances back to see that Selia has stopped and turned back to face her._

 _"I'm Selia by the way," she says, though Raven already knows her name. There's not a lot of people who don't. "I'm going to the Mess for dinner. Do you want to come?"_

Friendship comes easy for Selia, something that isn't true for Raven. She remembers how she stood there in silence for a while considering what would happen if she did join the girl who saved her life for a meal like they were already friends and not complete strangers. And the rejection to Selia's invitation was right on the tip of her tongue, like an instinct. The idea of getting close to anyone other than Finn was something that caused her to panic and rush to put up stronger walls. And she knows that Selia could see all of that because she always sees so much, but she still stood there with a kind smile and waited patiently for an answer.

Raven realized the moment that she did agree to go with Selia that she was giving her trust to a girl she'd only met twice at that point. Not once had she ever trusted someone so easily and she probably never will again. But she did trust Selia Kane and she's glad she did because the older girl is the best kind of friend anyone could have.

The mechanic doesn't know how she'll feel when the raspy breathing finally gives out, she doesn't know how she'll get through the pain, but she's beyond grateful for the brief time she was able to call Selia her best friend. And she does know that the hurt that will accompany the loss is the true cost of Selia's easy act of kindness.

...

 _"…The sea is home to the largest living structure in the world, the Great Barrier Reef. It's 2,600 km and it can even be seen from the moon."_

 _"I've never seen it," Clarke says as Selia puts down the tablet she'd been reading from. "What does it look like?"_

 _"Well, from space it just looks like long lines off the coast of Australia," the older girl explains to the six-year-old. "But if we saw it on Earth, it would look amazing. Centuries of pollution did a lot of damage, but it's still full of underwater plants and home to all sorts of sea animals."_

 _"Do you think it's okay still?"_

 _"Yeah, I do."_

 _"Will you show it to me, Sel?" The blonde pleads._

 _"Of course," she agrees with a laugh. "We have to wait until a certain time in orbit, though."_

 _A knock on the door interrupts Clarke's next question and Abby answers it to reveal Evan Marks. Clarke frowns at the sight of him, knowing that he's come to steal Selia away._

 _"Hi Dr. Griffin, is Selia here?" he asks, peeking into the home and spotting his best friend. "It's almost time for game night."_

 _"I'm coming," Selia calls, standing from the couch while Clarke pouts. "I'll see you later, okay?"_

 _"Aw, you haven't even been here that long!" Clarke whines as she follows her to the door._

 _"What are you talking about? I've been here for hours," she tells the girl good-naturedly._

 _"Clarke, you've had plenty of time to play with Selia. Now it's time for her to go hang out with her other friends," Abby says gently._

 _"I'll see you tomorrow, I promise."_

 _"I want to go with you!"_

 _Selia's amused smile falters and she glances at Abby and then Evan with guilt clear in her brown eyes._

 _"Game night is for the older kids," Abby tells her young daughter so Selia won't have to. However, little Clarke refuses to accept that. "You can go with in a couple of years."_

 _"Actually, Abby, she can come with," Selia interrupts. "We'll play on the same team. I'll teach you how."_

 _"Selia, you don't have to take her. Go have fun with your friends," Abby whispers barely loud enough for Clarke to hear._

 _"No, it will be fun," the young Kane assures with a redeemed smile. "C'mon, Clarke!"_

 _Selia holds out her hand for the smaller girl who takes it happily, skipping out of her home with the two big kids._

Clarke has a lifetime of memories with Selia, most of which involves her looking up to the older girl. She was like the sister she could never have and a true member of the Griffin family. She did everything she could to take care of Clarke, teach her, protect her from bullies. Selia was never too old to play with her or hang out with her. Countless times she would let the younger girl tag along just because Clarke asked.

It would be a lie to say that Clarke didn't feel some relief when Selia arrived on Earth. Just the sight of her oldest friend was comforting and the child in her felt safe because she knew nothing bad would happen to her as long as the youngest Kane was around. She was a connection to home that didn't hurt as much because Selia didn't have anything to do with the loss of her father or her mother's betrayal. Even the anger she felt when she realized that Selia knew the whole time faded quickly since she knew how much she needed her.

Growing up, Clarke heard lots of stories about her mother's best friend, but only vaguely knew about the hardship caused by Laney Kane's death. In truth, the only time she ever saw Selia's weaknesses was when she turned to Abby for comfort over the absence of her own mother. Aside from the tears Abby wiped away, Selia seemed strong and unafraid of everything. Even as they grew, Clarke's childhood image of the older girl stayed the same.

Now, the image is crumbling as she watches Selia sleep. Clarke didn't know much about Laney's death until she was old enough to begin her studies in medicine and learned about the different types of cancer. She can't believe that she managed to overlook every obvious symptom of the guard's sickness. She was so busy trying to take care of everyone else and glad to know she could fall back on someone to take care of her in return that she didn't pay any attention. Worse, she knows that Selia wanted that. She wanted to take care of Clarke and make sure that the medical apprentice wouldn't notice anything was wrong.

As Clarke listens to Selia's strained breathing and watches her involuntary shudders, she's plagued with a harrowing realization. She's lost both of her parents, her best friend, and now the only family member she has left is on her deathbed.

Clarke knows she isn't the only one getting strength from Selia and she won't be the only one who feels the pain from her death. But the young leader wonders how she'll be able to handle all the horrible things that have already happened and that are happening once the last person she's ever turned to for support is taken away.

* * *

Hello again!

I am so, so sorry for the delay! Things have been crazy busy and then I went on vacation for a week so I didn't have any time to work on the chapter. I actually didn't think I would get to post it today, but then my classes were cancelled for a snow day so I'm eating soup and avoiding homework! :)

Anyway, I got awesome feedback from the last chapter! I was really worried, but I'm glad you guys enjoyed!

So, what do you guys think? Everyone knows and Selia has taken a turn for the worse...

I'm sorry if Clarke's flashback and POV wasn't that great. I feel like they don't spend a lot of time together now, but I still wanted to show that they have a close relationship so I came up with baby Clarke following her "big sister" around. Let me know what you thought of that one!

The next chapter will get back to the current events in season one with preparing for the Grounder attack. There will also be lots of Bellamy taking care of Sel!

Please review and let me know what you think! I seriously love hearing from you and appreciate it so much!

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following. Special thanks to my lovely reviewers!

Hope to hear from you,

\- V :)


	12. Chapter 12

When Selia wakes a second time, her mother is gone. In her place is Bellamy who is sitting on a chair that wasn't there when she fell asleep. She can hear his soft snores and smiles a bit at the sight, but then she registers the strangeness of him being in her tent. As the haze from sleep starts to clear from her brain, she realizes that something has changed.

 _They know._

Urgency to deny the truth fills Selia as if that will be enough to convince the others, but when she tries to move, she finds her body is too heavy. It weighs her down like an anchor and the brief struggle she faces leaves her exhausted enough to fall asleep once again. The only thing that keeps her conscious is the painful, crackling cough that her movements triggered. She desperately gasps for breath between the coughs while it feels as if it's trying to tear open her chest.

Bellamy is startled awake by the noise and he's quick to move from his seat to her bed, helping her to sit up before she chokes on the fluid in her lungs. When she settles back into a wheeze, Bellamy grabs a cup of water and places it at her lips.

"Here, drink," he urges softly.

Selia lets the water coat her dry mouth and throat while Bellamy holds the cup steady.

"Thank you," she murmurs.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," she lies. Her mother's words echo in her mind. _Tell them the truth_ , but she can't bring herself to admit what they both know. "What happened?"

"You were coughing up blood, Raven got you help, but I told them," he explains. He watches Selia carefully, waiting for anger or a look of betrayal, but she simply nods.

If she's being completely honest, she's glad that he broke the news to the others because she isn't sure if she could do it herself.

"How…how did they take it?"

"As well as expected," he says. "They aren't angry with you, Sel. Just scared."

Selia nods, glancing towards Raven's empty bed. She can't imagine the mechanic wasn't angry, that's her go-to emotion.

"She's okay," Bellamy assures, reading her mind. "She comes in every few minutes to see how you're doing."

"And Clarke?"

"She's okay, too. She's trying to stay busy," he says. "She listened to your chest and she thinks you have pneumonia."

Selia nods, figuring the same thing. "It's not uncommon at this stage."

Her body is more susceptible to infection and far too weak to fight it. She doesn't say it aloud, but she imagines that the fluid filling her lungs will be what kills her as it's working faster than her failing organs. By the look on Bellamy's face, though, she realizes that he is just as aware of the fact without her telling him.

Before either can say a word, Raven enters the tent and her eyes widen at the guard sitting up in bed.

"Sel," she breathes in relief. The mechanic rushes over and Bellamy moves so she can sit on the bed.

"I'm going to go get more water," he says, offering the girls private time to talk.

Selia feels like a child watching her mother with cautious eyes because she knows she did something wrong but isn't sure how much trouble it will cause. However, Raven doesn't act like the angry parent or even a betrayed friend. She seems nothing more than sad and worried, two emotions she's trying to hide so Selia won't notice, but of course the young guard does.

"I'm s-sorry," Selia whispers.

Raven shakes her head, "I'm sorry I didn't notice. I'm sorry I've been dragging you around this whole time, making you come to Earth, putting you in danger, being so self –"

"Raven, you weren't dragging me around and you didn't cause the danger," Selia intervenes in what she believes is bound to be a lengthy apology. "And making me come to Earth was a gift. I don't see it as something bad and I never have. It was die up there or die down here, I think the choice is pretty easy."

Mentioning her impending death so casually does a number on Raven and she almost visibly winces. Again, she hears her mother's advice like a mantra she can't stop. _Say your goodbyes. Tell them you love them._

"The whole catapulting to Earth in an antique you restored and then saving a bunch of people on the Ark while breaking all sorts of laws was pretty badass," she says instead. Her exhausted smile is one of amusement that tries incredibly hard to lighten the mood. "Can you imagine how bored I would have been if I missed that?"

Raven chuckles lightly, but it comes out forced. It's hard to find humor in something that hurts so much. Selia's smile turns sympathetic, but her brief conversations have wore her out already. She grabs her friend's hand that rests on the bed and squeezes it weakly.

"I'm really tired, do you mind if I sleep a little more?"

"Of course not," the younger girl answers quickly.

"Thanks," Selia murmurs as she falls gently back to her makeshift pillows. She closes her eyes and everything goes black only moments later.

…

The thick smell of smoke and the loud sound of chaos wakes Selia next. Her nose scrunches up as she glances around the tent to find it empty. With shaky arms, she pushes herself up into a sitting position and then moves her legs over the edge of the bed. Whatever is going on outside sounds crazy, she can hear shouting and fighting while a gray fog starts to seep through the canvas separating her from the rest of camp. She wants to get out there to help and moves as fast as possible, but it's as if each limb weighs a thousand pounds. A hundred-year-old after hip surgery would probably move faster.

It takes all her strength to force each foot into her boots and she can't even be bothered to tie them. The coughing starts as she stumbles out of her tent, but it's drowned by the hectic teenagers running around. As she slowly makes her way to the source of the distress, she sees the dying flames consuming the smokehouse. Most of the delinquents are working to contain the fire while the rest are panicking about their loss of food.

Selia covers her mouth, trying not to inhale the fumes, as she approaches the problem. Those who notice her give her the space to move past, clearly aware of her illness. She can see Bellamy at the front of the group, staring at the scorched remains with the tense stature of a very stressed out leader. Beside him is his sister, seeming incredibly frustrated herself. Before she can reach either of them, however, Nate blocks her path.

"You're supposed to be resting," he says by way of greeting.

She ignores him, "What the hell happened?"

"The smokehouse caught on fire," he explains, grabbing the older girl's elbow to steady her when he notices that way she sways in place. "Murphy is blaming Dell."

"The food?"

Miller glances back at the fire being put out before answering. "I'm going to say it's all gone."

"Yikes," she mumbles. "I'm going to talk to Bellamy."

Selia starts to move away, but to her surprise, Nate joins her, keeping a firm grip on her arm so she won't fall. She wants to roll her eyes and push him away because being babied has never been something she enjoyed – unless it was by her parents – but she knows that in reality his help is necessary. The young guard hasn't gone a hundred yards and is already on the verge of collapsing.

Nate brings her straight to Bellamy, dropping her off like Marcus did when she first started school. Bellamy's reaction to Selia being out of bed is a bit more concerned than Miller's, but it comes as no surprise.

"What are you doing out of bed?" he demands as the younger boy leaves. "You shouldn't be out here with the smoke."

"Is everyone okay?" Selia asks, once again ignoring the worry. She glances at Octavia who is just as displeased with her presence and notices the smudges of ash on her cheeks. "Were you in there when it happened?"

"Yeah, but I'm okay," Octavia answers. "You need to go back to bed."

"You know you guys don't have to keep saying it on loop," she mutters, though her tone is good-natured. She appreciates their concern.

"Everyone is fine," Bellamy tells her. "The only thing that got hurt is our food supply."

"If that's all the food –" Selia is interrupted by a viscous cough that claws up her throat. "W-what are we going to do?"

The coughing continues and she barely makes out Bellamy shaking his head. She's suddenly lifted from the ground as he scoops her up into his arms.

" _We_ are not doing anything," he says as he takes her back to the tent.

"I can help," she argues in between wheezy breaths.

"No, you can rest."

"I'm not a child," Selia grumbles as she's gently placed in her bed once more.

To counter her statement, however, Bellamy kneels by the bed and pulls off each of her untied boots. He then proceeds to cover her with the blankets that seemingly duplicated since the last time she was conscious. When he's done, he sits beside her and examines her face for any signs that she's getting worse. Selia can see the exhaustion in his eyes and the dark circles beneath them formed from stress. Mixed in is the pain that she never wanted to see but knew would be inevitable once he learned the truth.

The guard wants to ask what he plans to do about food. She wants to know the battle plan for when the Grounders come. She wants to know about everything she wishes she could help with, but it's obvious that her interrogation will only add to the weight on Bellamy's shoulders. So instead, she searches for a different topic, one that she can focus on before the heaviness in her eyelids wins.

"I was dreaming about the ocean before," she says softly. "It seemed so real, I swear I could feel the mist on my skin."

A small, fond smile forms on Bellamy's face as he knows all about her strange obsession.

"I wasn't scared, I was relaxed," she continues. "Even with the crashing waves, it was so peaceful, but it went on forever. All I could see for miles on end was blue."

"You used to have a million facts about the ocean," Bellamy remembers. "All sorts of statistics."

"I memorized every book," she chuckles before growing serious. "Will you promise me something?"

"Sure," he agrees easily, though his eyes show caution.

"When this is all over with the Grounders and everyone is safe, will you go find it?" Selia pleads. "Will you find it and stand on the beach and find out if it's scary or amazing or both?"

"Sel, when this is over, we'll find it together," Bellamy says, refusing to make any promise that confirms her death.

"Bell," Selia sighs sadly.

"We will," he insists, desperately trying to control the tremble in his voice.

 _Tell them you love them._

"You'll see the blue and you'll feel the water and you won't be scared because it'll be amazing," he continues as his voice cracks. "As soon as we beat the Grounders, we'll go."

"Bellamy," she tries again, needing to remind him that she'll probably be gone before the Grounders even arrive, but he won't let her.

"You need to get some rest."

He tries to escape the tent so he can reassemble himself, but Selia grabs his hand before he moves out of her reach. She realizes when he turns back to look at her that there are a thousand things she needs to say. A thousand words she can't leave unsaid, but they all hurt too much. They all lead to goodbye and the former couple has shared one too many of those.

This time, emotions get the better of her and tears fill her eyes. The fear bubbles to the surface and her hand falls away from his. The pain in her chest is double as her heart aches more than her lungs. Facing her own mortality is not as simple as she believed and Bellamy's denial of what is really going to happen makes it more real.

"Sel," Bellamy murmurs as he watches her strength wane. He moves back to sit with her and grabs her cold hand.

"We'll go," Selia agrees weakly as the tears spill over. "We'll find it when the sun is the highest in the sky and the water is as warm as it will ever be. We'll get our feet wet and stay for hours."

 _Tell them the truth._

"But I will be scared because it will be just like a dream and dreams have to end."

"Selia," he whispers, gently wiping her tears away.

"I'm scared, Bell," she admits suddenly. "I don't want to die."

His eyes widen, probably not expecting this rapid shift in her emotions, but he reacts quickly. He pulls her fragile, shaking form into a tight hug, letting his jacket catch the rest of her tears, and holding her together as she falls apart.

…

 _BOOM!_

Selia wakes with a gasp at the sound of a rifle going off and the panicked shouts that follow. Delirious from sleep, she's momentarily surprised that it's now dark around her when the sun was high in the sky when she was last awake. She rubs her eyes until she hears more yelling and then remembers what just happened. She struggles out of bed, getting twisted in the blankets much to her frustration. As quickly as possible – which is not quick at all – she slips her boots on and grabs the handgun hidden underneath the bed.

Selia isn't sure what she expects to find outside, she isn't even sure what she's doing. It couldn't possibly be an attack, there was only one shot. Then again, her head is foggy, there might have been more and she just didn't hear them. Either way, she probably is already rendered useless, even with her gun. The young guard doesn't think she could hold the weapon up if her life or anyone else's depended on it. That's how weak she feels as she stumbles towards the crowd.

When she gets to the back of the group, she realizes that it's Bellamy's angry voice bellowing through camp.

"The Grounders are out there right now, waiting for us to leave and picking us off one by one when we do!"

Selia glances down at her weapon just hanging in her hand. The battle is coming and she should be on the front lines. Unlike the children sent here by force, the young guard has been trained. She could do some serious damage to their attackers if she hadn't taken such a drastic turn. Now, the gun she carries is meaningless. She can't even pull the trigger.

"Clarke, Finn, and Monty are gone, probably dead!"

Bellamy continues, but the rest of his speech has little meaning. Selia stands there gaping at the sudden news of her friends. She was asleep for a while, but how did all three just disappear? Why were they even out of camp?

Fear of a different kind begins to fill her, scratching her lungs even worse than the fluid. She cares about Monty and even Finn despite what he did to Raven, but her main concern is Clarke. Clarke cannot be dead, Selia won't allow that to be a true possibility. The guard is supposed to protect the younger girl, take care of her, but all she's done is sleep away an entire day.

Anger starts to tint her vision, though she can't decide who or where to direct it. She wishes cancer was a person and that she could shoot him between the eyes. Then, she'd be able to run out of camp and find the blonde. She'd keep her promise to Abby from when she was six and everything would be okay. But cancer isn't the person, she is, and soon the anger is all pointed at herself.

Bellamy leaves without noticing Selia and the crowd disperses to do as he said until only Raven, Octavia, and Jasper are left. When they finally turn to go back to work as well, just as hurt by their leader's harshness, they spot the sickly girl.

"Sel," Raven mutters, clearing her throat, and trying to pretend like her eyes aren't glossy with tears. "It's late. You should be sleeping."

"What the hell is he talking about?" Selia demands in response. Sleep still crackles in her voice, making it a strange octave higher than normal, but the urgency is just as evident.

"We sent hunting parties out and they all came back except for Clarke, Finn, and Myles," Octavia explains. "We went searching for them and found Myles injured, he said Grounders took them. Somehow, Monty disappeared during the search, too."

Her head feels like it's underwater, so it takes longer than normal for Octavia's words to sink in and make sense. All she can think is why did the Grounders take Clarke and Finn and leave Myles to die? And why was Monty taken rather than killed? Despite the ever-changing state of her body, Selia's true character stands out, keeping the optimistic – or hard-headed – beliefs she has always maintained.

"So, they're not dead," she concludes. "We should go back out at first light. They wouldn't have taken them for no reason."

"First of all, you're not going anywhere," the mechanic says sternly in spite of how upset she is over the situation. "Secondly, you heard Bellamy. No guns leave camp."

"I'll talk to him."

"And say what?" Octavia questions.

"I don't know, that he's being an idiot," Selia says with half of a shrug.

"I think you should rest," the younger Blake tells her. "We'll try talking to him again when he cools down."

Selia is annoyed, but she doesn't let it show. She's grateful for the concern, but she's getting pretty sick of being told to rest, especially when she's rested all day and woke up to find Clarke missing and most likely in serious danger. She swallows all her biting responses and lets Raven guide her back to their tent before she returns to work that apparently the guard can't help with.

They meet Bellamy coming out of it, a frantic look in his eyes that calms once he spots Selia. Raven pulls the guard past him, shooting him a glare in the process, but it's not enough to keep him from following. He hovers behind the mechanic as she helps the older girl and it's clear he has something he wants to say.

"You heard?" he asks.

"Yeah, you said it pretty loud," Selia grumbles.

"I'm sorry, Sel."

"You're not serious, right? We can't just leave them, we have to find them!"

"Don't you think I want to?" He returns in frustration. "But I have to make the decision that is best for the group. Anyone we send out there will die."

"You don't know that," she argues petulantly.

Bellamy sighs, "Yeah, Sel, I do."

Silence consumes the tent as they stare down each other in disagreement. Raven stands awkwardly to the side, suffering through the tension. This conversation would be much different if Selia wasn't sick. She'd be able to just disregard everything he says and go out on her own. No one could stop her and she'd be strong enough to find Clarke and Finn and Monty and bring them home.

But she is sick and she can barely walk around camp on her own, let alone venture into the woods to search for her friends who were kidnapped by Grounders.

"I have to get back to work," Bellamy murmurs as he comes to the same realization. "Do you need anything?"

Selia shakes her head, her defeated gaze falling to the dirt floor of the tent. They both leave, telling her to get some rest again and she sighs.

 _Sleep until you're dead, Selia_ , she thinks.

She is tired, she's always tired, but she doesn't want to sleep anymore. She doesn't care about the pneumonia, she doesn't care about her life slipping away by the hour, she just cares that her friends are missing. The girl who she's seen as her little sister their entire lives, the girl she promised to take care of always, is out there in some perilous situation while Selia sits on her cot, weak and utterly useless.

For a while, she sits there thinking about all the things she _can't_ do, but then anger fills her once more. This is not who she is, Selia Kane isn't going sit around and wait for death. She isn't going to just ignore the fact that people she loves are missing. That's not how she was raised and it's definitely not her.

It takes longer than it should, but soon her boots are tied, her jacket is zipped, and her gun is holstered in its rightful place on her waist with the rest of her weapons belt. The moon is still in the sky, lowering slowly as the night comes to an end, when she sneaks out of camp, careful to avoid the mines Raven and the others are making. Not a soul sees her despite how slow she is, and she doesn't look back until the dropship appears smaller in the distance.

A voice in the back of her head tells her that this is stupid. It says she will never find Clarke, Finn, and Monty. She won't make it more than a mile away. She'll never see Bellamy or Raven or Octavia again. It tells her that she will die tomorrow with a thousand words left unsaid.

But she still can't say goodbye.

"May we meet again," she says instead.

And then she's turns away and begins her search.

…

Night ends as dawn colors the sky. Selia has been tracking someone for the last hour, but she isn't sure who. She desperately tries to focus on any prints or disturbances to the ground, but her body fights her every step of the way. She can't breathe and every time she tries to muffle her coughs, she nearly suffocates. Her head throbs like a second pulse and makes the woods blurry. And she feels so heavy, she's just dragging herself around, swaying about, and depending on trees for support.

It doesn't take long to realize that the voice she ignored was right and it's only confirmed when she is finally forced to take a break because it's possibly one of the biggest mistakes she could make.

Selia senses the movement, but never hears it. Despite her unsteady hands, she reaches for her gun, but she's not fast enough.

The attacker's muscular arm wraps around her from behind in a vice grip, lifting her off the ground while a meaty hand slams against her mouth before she can scream.

And she can't get away.

* * *

Hello!

I'm so sorry for another delay on the update, things have just been getting crazier. When it rains, it pours, you know?

I got awesome feedback for the last chapter so thank you so much! I loved it! Also, I'm glad to hear that Clarke's flashback ended up being good!

Okay, so I'm introducing another character who is from the show, but does not come in until way later. You might have already figured out who it is, but if you haven't then you'll find out in the next chapter! I will also explain why I'm introducing this character early in chapter 13 because I don't want to give too much away.

Also, I know you all want to know if there is a cure, but I just can't tell you yet! I'm not ignoring your questions, just avoiding them lol! You'll get all your answers soon!

Please review and let me know what you think!

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following. Special thanks to my lovely reviewers as well!

Hope to hear from you all,

\- V :)


	13. Chapter 13

The attacker's muscular arm wraps around her from behind in a vice grip, lifting her off the ground while a meaty hand slams against her mouth before she can scream. Selia struggles against the man, wiggling like a child to escape his grasp, but he's unperturbed. He's a lot stronger than any of the men she fought during training for the Guard and this would be difficult even on her best day. However, adrenaline does not betray her and the cancer hasn't taken her quick thinking yet.

With her feet dangling a few inches off the ground, Selia is able to lift her foot just enough to drive the heel of her boot into the stranger's knee. His groan of pain accents his leg buckling which is just enough movement for her to slip out of his arms. She lands on the ground hard and scrambles away on her knees with one hand as the other reaches for her gun.

The Grounder grabs her by the ankle and yanks her backwards. She falls flat on her stomach and the air is forced from her lungs in a painful whoosh. She ignores the need to breathe and the way her body is slowly growing heavier as she flips over quickly with her gun aimed at the man. He towers over her with his long, grimy hair pulled back, black paint smeared over his face, and the top half covered by a mask made of bone. He's terrifying, but Selia stares at him fearlessly with her gun in the air.

She should be able to shoot him and end his life within seconds, but even adrenaline isn't enough to give back everything that the cancer has taken. Before she can steady the gun, the Grounder knocks the gun out of her hand with the large sword he pulls from his back. It goes off from the force, but the stray bullet gets lost in the woods and the gun lands just out of her reach. Her fingers stretch as far as they can, but his sword comes down swiftly and crushes the barrel.

Selia wastes a second gaping at the broken pieces like a child who's just lost her toy. In her quick mourning of the gun, the Grounder gains even more of an upper hand as he grabs her jacket and tries to flip her over. She recovers as soon as he grabs a fistful of fabric and she draws the long-unused shock baton from her belt. As electricity runs through him, he lets out a cry of surprise, distracting him long enough for Selia to finally climb back to her feet.

The masked man fights through the pain and lunges at her with his sword. Selia's eyes widen as the blade comes down at her and she uses the baton to block it. The rod cracks under the pressure, but still saves her from the second swing. When the baton breaks in half, Selia throws the remaining pieces at the Grounder before taking off in the other direction.

Selia sprints as fast as she can, but it's not really sprinting. It's as if her muscles are nonexistent and another coughing fit bubbles in her chest as she gasps for air. The adrenaline is gone and her body betrays her once again. She collapses in the dirt as her knees give out and black spots fill her vision. She can barely hear his approach as she chokes on blood and seconds later she feels the blinding pain of a blunt object connecting with the back of her head.

…

Selia wakes to a round of coughing as blood climbs up her throat. It has nowhere to go, however, when she realizes the Grounder has her gagged. When she begins choking, the man from before appears above her. He kneels to remove the cloth from her mouth and she quickly spits the blood out as her lungs try to expel more fluid. She barely notices the man move away and return until he shows her a canteen of water. With confusion clear on her expression, the Grounder helps her sit up before holding the canteen so she can have a drink.

When she's done, the Grounder moves back to his place sitting across from her and that's when she notices that they're in some sort of concrete structure. It's too dilapidated to tell what it had been used for a century ago, but it provides some nice shelter for whoever finds it. The man who abducted her is leaning against a gray pillar that's covered with a layer of dust so she decides that he's the first to find it in quite a while.

She continues to scan their surroundings, memorizing every inch that she can see, but she knows it won't do her any good. Her wrists are tightly bound and the rope goes on to attach somewhere on the Grounder's belt. Even if she wasn't tied up, she wouldn't get far if she ran. The man in front of her seems to know that too just by the way he's relaxed against the pillar, sharpening his sword instead of watching her closely.

Surprisingly, there's no evidence of there being anyone else with them.

"Where are your friends?" Selia asks in a weak voice from the coughs. The only Grounder they had ever come across who was by himself was Lincoln and that was because they went into his home.

The man ignores her as he continues to work on his blade.

"You don't have any?" she presses, but it's still to no avail. "I know you can understand me."

Her captor continues his task without pause and Selia huffs in frustration.

"Why did you take me?" she demands. "Who gave you orders? Where are we? What the hell is going on?"

The man has the audacity to smirk at Selia and his hand finally stills on the sword.

"You knocked me out cold and you broke my gun," she snaps. "The least you could do is give me some semblance of an answer."

"No one gave me orders," he says in a gruff, but not unkind voice. "I took you because you are my key to going home."

Selia stares at the stranger whose face is still half-covered by the mask. She doesn't even begin to understand what he's talking about, which is obviously painted all over her face because he seems to find it amusing.

"How am I your key to going home? And where's home? Why can't you just go on your own?"

"You ask a lot of questions," he returns.

Exhaustion creeps up on the girl, only intensified by her frustration. The man examines her in silence for a long time before he decides to take the creepy mask off and set it aside with his sword. Selia memorizes all his features as if it may come in use in a future she knows she doesn't have.

"I was banished from home by the Commander so my clan could join the Coalition," he explains finally. "I'm going to take you to the Commander and the information you share with her about your people will buy my way back into Azgeda."

Ignoring every other question she has about the commander, the coalition, and whatever the hell _Azgeda_ means, she chooses to focus on only one.

"And what makes you think I'm going to share any information?"

"There are many ways to make a person talk. You will even if you don't want to."

Selia scowls at the implication of torture, but she's not even remotely afraid. "What kind of information are you even expecting?"

"I'm sure she'd like to know about your battle plans for the war against Trikru. Your people have created a mess, killed many of their people. The Commander will want to know about that, I imagine."

"Well, I don't know anything about that –"

"Of course you do," he interrupts. "You're weak, but clever. You have had a hand in the preparation."

Selia's frown deepens at his insult. He wouldn't call her weak if she'd been able to shoot him.

"I'm sure she'll have many questions. I don't really care, I just want to go home."

"So do I," she returns sharply.

"It's time to go. We have a lot of ground to cover," he says, ignoring her angry remark.

…

Selia's head throbs from the knot on the back of her skull and every other part of her body screams in pain as well. Her captor drags her by the rope, barely aware of her constant stumbling while they make their way towards wherever the Commander lives. The only breaks she gets is when she starts coughing so hard that he has to remove the gag. Unfortunately, he gets tired of stopping so he just takes it out altogether. Selia is once again on the verge of collapsing with dark spots filling her vision.

"We have to stop," she pleads breathlessly. "I can't keep going."

"We're not stopping out in the open."

"P-please," she begs before the coughing tears through her chest.

She falls to her knees and the man sighs in annoyance but doesn't force her to stand. Instead, he hands her the canteen and allows her the break she needs.

"Look, I don't think I'm going to make it to your Commander. I don't have much time left."

"What do you mean?" the man demands. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm sick," Selia mutters, thinking it was relatively obvious. "I'm dying."

"You can't be serious."

The guard scoffs weakly, "It'd be really nice if I wasn't."

The man shakes his head, pulling the mask off to rub his eyes while Selia takes measured breaths.

"I've been thinking, though," she continues. "I think we can help each other."

This time he scoffs.

"I'm serious. You want to go home; my people just want to keep our new home. We just want peace and I think we can both get what we want."

"How exactly would that work? You just said you're not going to make it there."

"I won't, but our leader will. Just take me back –"

"Do I look like an idiot to you?" he spits. "I'm not taking you to your camp so your people can kill me. Now, get up. I think you'll make it just fine."

He yanks the rope, causing it to dig into her wrists and she must bite her lip to stop from crying out in pain. He pulls her to her feet and goes back to dragging her along. Tears well in Selia's eyes from the exhaustion and each step brings more agony that she won't be able to bear much longer.

"Please," Selia nearly cries. "Just let me stop."

She just wants to lay down and sleep, but she knows what will happen. She knows that this is it.

"This isn't a good place to stop," he tells her without slowing his pace.

He pulls her along until he comes to a sudden halt. Selia takes the opportunity to sit down and hopes that he'll just leave her be. Despite the overpowering urge to sleep, she notices the way her captor is scanning the woods and listening carefully. After a moment, she picks up on what he has and hears the sound of other people walking nearby.

Selia doesn't even have a chance to consider who it could be because the man quickly pulls her to her feet and starts to move even faster.

"What's going on?"

"We need to get out of here," he whispers. "There are Reapers around."

"Reapers?" she repeats in confusion.

"Shh," he warns harshly. "We can't let them find us."

"Who are the Reapers?" she demands in a lower tone.

"No one you want to meet," he replies vaguely.

 _No one_ I _want to meet or no one_ you _do_ , she questions silently.

The urgency to get away is clear on his face and the tense set of his shoulders. He's clearly afraid and Selia finds herself slightly bewildered. This is a mistake on his part because as he said before, she's weak but clever. A plan immediately forms to escape from him. She may not make it back to camp, but at least she'd be away from him and whatever fate awaits her if she actually survives long enough to meet this Commander.

 _The enemy of my enemy is my friend._

Her captor is so focused on trying to get as far away from the Reapers as possible, he doesn't notice the steady breaths she's taking to prepare her lungs. He doesn't even expect her to scream for help and the piercing octave of her voice startles him enough to delay a reaction. She yanks the rope from his grasp and takes off in the opposite direction.

"What are you doing?" he growls as he runs after her.

Unfortunately, Selia isn't as clever as she thinks for the simple fact that she didn't take into account her body's inability to move very fast. The man easily catches up to her, but makes no move to grab her. She can hear the Reapers that he was trying to avoid running after them, each swift step in the dirt bringing them closer.

"You're going to have to move faster than that," the man says as he passes her in a sprint.

Selia tries to push herself, but she can't. Her plan falls apart as she trips over her own limbs and collapses in the dirt. When she looks back at the unknown enemy chasing them, she realizes why the man had been afraid. The Reapers are even scarier than her captor in his bone mask. They look grotesque with mutated skin and are covered in tattoos, piercings, and white chalk. She doesn't doubt the red staining their clothes is from others they've harmed. She concludes that her original thought was wrong, the enemy of her enemy is still very much an enemy.

The Reapers grow closer while she's paralyzed by her own weaknesses and she knows there's no chance of escaping. Just as the closest and scariest of her soon-to-be attackers draws in, she's suddenly lifted into the air. Her abductor returns and scoops her into his arms before running away again. She looks up at the man in shock as he carries her to safety, completely puzzled by his actions when she's the one who yelled for the Reapers in the first place.

He doesn't look at her as he continues to run as fast as possible, but there are far more Reapers than Selia expected. They somehow managed to encircle them and the man is forced to stop as the others block every escape. Panic fills Selia as she looks at the terrifying people moving towards them, making inhuman noises as they look at them like prey to be devoured. The guard looks up at her new savior, but he shakes his head in defeat.

"I hope you're happy," he mutters. "Now, we're both dead."

…

As Selia struggles to keep going, she realizes what an idiot she's been. Not a single choice she's made since finding out Clarke was missing has been even remotely thought through. Now, she has a dark hood over her face to keep her blind and her hands are bound to the long block of wood resting on her shoulder and the other three who are victims to the Reapers as well. She's so weak that the two unknown people in front of her are basically dragging her to wherever they'll meet their fate. Behind her, her first captor continues to lift the wood up every time he feels her legs give out just to keep her on her feet.

She feels guilty for many things. One of them being that she sealed the man's fate and he had actually been nice enough to try to save her from the Reapers. Selia is a little confused why he would come back for her because she can't imagine him relying on her to get him home that much, especially when she warned him that she would never make it. No matter what his intentions were, she feels it necessary to apologize to her abductor.

"I'm sorry," she says quietly so the Reapers won't hear. "I don't think I really had a plan and if I did, it was stupid. I wasn't trying to get you killed, though. I just wanted to go home."

The man chuckles softly, "I don't think anyone has ever apologized to the person who took them."

"Yeah, well, you saved my life and I basically took yours," she mumbles. "The least I can do is say sorry."

Silence falls over them once more as they continue the march to their death. Selia is busy thinking about her friends when the man interrupts.

"What's your name?" he asks, quickly lifting her up with the wood when she trips again.

"Selia," she answers before a fit of coughs takes away her oxygen. After several breaths, she finally manages to ask him for his in return.

"I'm Roan," he says.

"Well, I'd say it's nice to meet you, but it hasn't really worked out for either of us."

"Yeah," he agrees under his breath. "Why did you leave your camp alone anyway?"

"I was looking for my friends," she explains, though it causes her to wince.

Lot of good she did. She didn't find Clarke or Finn or Monty. She didn't even get close. The others are probably worried and angry with her. Her absence will have added to the stress of preparing for a war. Selia was inconsiderate, selfish, and stupid. She should have tried harder to convince Bellamy, she should have enlisted someone to help her, she shouldn't have slept away an entire day and miss Clarke leaving in the first place.

She should have said goodbye.

Tears fill her tired eyes as she realizes that they will never meet again. She didn't do anything her mother told her and she regrets it more than anything. Selia begins to cry silently, reminiscing of the feel of Bellamy's hug comforting her and Raven's hand warming hers. She thinks of Octavia's effort to help her and the budding relationship that will never go anywhere. She thinks of seeing Clarke again when she and Raven landed on Earth.

Selia thinks of all the people she should have told she loved because that's what you need to do when you die. It's good for them to know, to hold on to when the end draws near, but her mother's advice wasn't so she could comfort her friends. It was so in her final moment, she would know her life wasn't wasted, no matter how short it was. A life full of love is a life well-lived.

She should have told them.

But now she has run out of time.

They come to a sudden halt and the only thing Selia knows about her surroundings is that it's freezing. Or maybe it's just her. Either way, she's already shivering when she feels the length of a blade near her chest. She tenses, afraid she's going to be cut, but the sound tearing fabric fills her ears. The Guard jacket she has treasured so dearly is torn from her body, leaving her in the thin, sleeveless shirt. Next, she feels the knife at her waist and she tries to fight the Reaper from taking her pants. Another one grabs hold of her shoulders with rough, grimy fingers hard enough to leave bruises and she feels her empty weapons belt being pulled from her body followed, to her horror, by the black pants of her uniform being peeled off in shreds.

Selia's hands are cut from the wood and fall in front of her like dead weights still bound together. She's yanked forward, turned forcefully, and then pushed to her knees. Finally, the hood is pulled from her face, but it does little to help her know where they've taken them.

It's dark, clearly some sort of tunnel. The track for what could have been a mining cart is still laid on the dirt in front of her. What surprises her the most, however, is the large door to her right. It's heavy duty with English words saying it's a restricted access, and a key pad glows beside it. There's no way Grounders use a door like that and the Reapers seem even less likely to do so. Selia is beyond confused and she's glad to see her fellow prisoners in a similar state. It's obvious that none of this is normal.

Roan is forced down beside her, stripped to nothing but his underwear. The bone mask is gone and his uncertainty makes him look far less scary. They share a look, one the feels more familiar than it should since he did kidnap her, but Selia doesn't care. She needs familiarity. She needs Bellamy and Raven and Clarke and Octavia, but this will have to do.

The beep of a successful passcode rings in her ears and she looks over to see the door opening. Before any people are revealed, a horrible, high-pitch tone fills the tunnel. It seems to bother the Reapers more than it should, but Selia focuses on the people exiting in blue, hazmat suits and gas masks. She openly gapes as someone speaks English to the Reapers, holding a syringe filled with red liquid that he injects into each of the willing men. Her eyes move to the single person wearing a real helmet that she can see through.

It's a woman and she approaches the four prisoners, eyeing them through her mask with scrutiny. She holds a clipboard and a pen and stops at the man on his knees furthest from Selia.

"Harvest," the woman declares before moving to the next. "Harvest."

Selia's stomach tightens in panic. Harvest sounds like the woman wants to take all their organs and leave nothing but scraps. Even with a terminal illness, she doesn't particularly want to be cut open. She's shaking as the woman moves closer and Roan glances at her in something akin to concern.

"Harvest," the clipboard lady repeats, deciding Roan's fate.

The woman stops in front of Selia and eyes her up and down carefully. The young guard's mouth goes dry and her shivering freezes her muscles.

"Harvest."

The others in gas masks move to stand their new donors up, but words come tumbling out of Selia's blue-tinted lips.

"Wait!" She calls out to the lady who has already turned around to move back through the door. "Wait, I'm not a Grounder!"

Beside her, Roan gives her a brief look of shock before returning to a stony-faced façade. The woman turns back, intrigued by the young guard's words, though the man tightens his grip on her arms.

"I'm not a Grounder. My name is Selia Kane, I'm twenty-three years old. I'm from the Ark in space, my people came down here so we could survive," she tells the woman rapidly. "I was a guard; my uniform is over there. I left camp to find my friends, but I was captured."

The man holding onto Selia doesn't care about what she says as he tries to force her forward, but the clipboard lady raises a hand to stop him.

"Please help me," Selia begs. "I just need to get back to my people."

"You came down in the dropship?" The woman questions.

"No, the pod. It came down about a week later," the guard answers. "It was a mechanic and me, we came down to fix a communication problem, to help the people still in space."

The woman looks to the man behind Selia and nods. "Bring her inside and cut her restraints."

Selia's eyes widen in disbelief, but the man holding her suddenly loosens his grip and guides rather than forces her to follow the woman. She casts a glance back at Roan who watches indifferently, but guilt suddenly fills her. She shouldn't care about the man who captured her with the plan of letting her be tortured just so he could go home, but she does. For whatever reason, she feels as if she owes him for getting him into this situation.

As she crosses the threshold of the door, she tries to turn in the man's grasp.

"Wait, Roan is –"

"This way, Miss Kane," the woman calls and the man releases her. The door shuts with a firm thud, successfully separating her from the Grounders, and leaving Roan to be harvested.

Selia looks at her surroundings, noticing several other men waiting. The light of the fluorescent bulbs leaves a strange blue tint and she can't help but compare the underground compartment to a nightmare. She is, after all, standing in her underwear and being watched by a group of masked men with her wrists tied by rough rope.

"Our president will be glad meet you. We've been wondering a great deal about your people," the woman informs Selia as one man cuts her restraints. "There are just a few things we'll need to do first."

"Okay," Selia agrees cautiously. "But you'll take me back to my people, right?"

"Of course, as soon as it's safe," she assures.

Something in the woman's tone sets off alarm bells for Selia. Instinct tells her to run from these strange people, but she knows the only escape will take her back to the Reapers. The young guard is rapidly trying to create a plan that's feasible for her state of being. And that's when she sees the minute nod from the woman given to someone behind her.

Selia doesn't have any time to react. She's turning to see who the woman is giving silent orders to, but the sharp pain of a needle going through the sensitive skin of her neck reaches her first. Her freed hand rushes to the injection point as the syringe is removed and she stumbles towards the only door she sees as the world starts to blur. Her hands pry uselessly at the door before she sinks to the floor. The last thing she registers as she falls against the cold concrete is the group of masked people staring down at her.

And she believes everything goes black for the very last time.

* * *

Hello!

So, what is your take on introducing Roan early?

I know it's really weird that I'm bringing him in now, but I really like his character and I feel like he and Sel's dynamic could be interesting. I have a lot of plans for the future chapters, but they wouldn't really get to know each other very well if I stay completely true to the show. Also, I'm really trying to make sure that I'm not just inserting my OC into the show and not having any affect on the plot. That is definitely my downfall in the beginning of my Game of Thrones fic that I'm writing. With Selia at Mount Weather, I need her story line to be interesting, which is hard because she doesn't have any of her people. I also don't want to intercede with Jasper's relationship with Maya and other things that are super important to the show's plot.

Anyway, I have a lot of plans so hopefully you all enjoy them even if they seem strange right now! But I would really love to know what you think so far with him put into it early!

Thank you so much for the reviews! I got some wonderful feedback which means the world to me! It was fun reading your predictions as well. I'm trying to get back into a weekly update so here we are!

Please review and let me know what you think! Thank you so much, as always, for reading, favoriting, and following. Special thanks to my lovely reviewers!

Hope to hear from you soon,

\- V :)


	14. Chapter 14

Bellamy leaves the dropship to get Myles some water with Jasper's words still ringing in his mind. Despite what everyone thinks, the choice to stay instead of going out to search for Clarke and the others is not an easy one. He knows what they would do if he was missing and he truly wants to find them, but he has the entire camp to think about, not just three people. However, Jasper was right. When it was Octavia, Bellamy didn't care about the danger. He would have risked everyone to find his sister, which makes guilt harden at the base of his stomach like a rock outweighing him.

The leader tries to ignore it and focus on all the problems they have even with Clarke, Finn, and Monty's absences. He fills a cup of water for Myles while thinking about the battle plan he has laid out in the dropship, but Raven interrupts before he can get far.

"Where is Selia?" Raven demands brusquely.

"In her tent," Bellamy answers. "We were just in there with her together."

"Well, she isn't in there anymore," the mechanic argues. When he realizes the usual hardened look in her eyes has melted away to something frantic, Bellamy's heart lurches into his throat. "I've looked everywhere."

Bellamy drops the cup and rushes towards the last place he saw Selia only to confirm what Raven has said. The guard's cot is empty as is the rest of her tent. Her boots are gone, her jacket is gone, and when he stoops to check below her bed, the clear space nearly makes him sick.

"Her gun and her belt are gone," he says, trying to control the shaking in his voice as he knows there is only one place she would have gone. "She went looking for Clarke."

"You should have known this would happen!" Raven hisses. "You should have listened to her!"

He doesn't answer as he stares at the empty bed, knowing that Raven is right. He should have known, and he should have been watching her more carefully. He should have kept to the plan to have someone at her bedside at all times no matter how many things needed to be done in camp.

"We have to get her!" Raven insists sharply.

Again, Bellamy remains silent as he realizes that he is a hypocrite, just as Jasper had been hinting towards. He can justify not searching for Clarke, Finn, Monty, and pretty much anyone else in camp other than his sister…and Selia. The idea that Selia is any of the danger he is trying to protect the rest of their people from makes it impossible for him not to sprint out of camp right now.

"Bellamy!" Raven snaps. "You can't seriously be thinking that we're going to stay. She'll die out there! She'll die alone! She won't have gotten far, we have to bring her back!"

"I know," he agrees, his measured tone belying the panic making his heart race. He turns around and brushes past her, rushing to go against everything he had told them earlier. "I'm going to find her."

Hypocrite or not, the choice is easier than anything else.

"I'm going with you," the mechanic says.

"We need to go now," he returns. "You know she's underestimated how weak she is, she'll push herself until she can't move anymore."

Raven nods in agreement. She's too consumed with worry for her best friend to mention how contradictory Bellamy is being. She knows Clarke and Finn can take care of themselves and Monty had a rifle when he went missing, but Selia will think she is as capable of defending herself and anyone else as she was before getting cancer. The young guard will ignore her dying body if it means finding and protecting her people.

Both Bellamy and Raven can feel the fear running through their veins and it's more encouraging than any type of adrenaline. It's takes every ounce of control they have to keep from freaking out as they run towards the tunnel to exit camp. They don't even have time to spare so they can tell the others what's going on because Selia's already short life is ticking closer and closer to an end.

They make it out of camp and nearly out of range, believing nothing can slow them down and that finding Selia will just take a few steps further. The pair doesn't even stop running once to catch their breath until Murphy's muffled voice comes through Bellamy's walkie, barely audible through the violent crackles caused by distance.

"You know what will happen to me if you tell Bellamy."

Bellamy and Raven pause to share a confused look and the leader grabs his radio to find out what's happening.

"Tell Bellamy what?" he questions.

There's a long silence on the other side and Bellamy nearly decides to ignore it altogether because Selia is his priority, but then Jasper's voice comes through loud and rapid.

"Murphy has a gun! He killed Myles!" Jasper's voice is cut off with a groan of pain.

"Murphy, what the hell are you doing?" Bellamy yells into the walkie.

The dead silence on the other end chills him to the core and the distant creaking sound of the dropship being closed only adds to it. He is suddenly faced with a great dilemma. Ignore Jasper's obvious plea for help and keep him from dying or keep going to find Selia who may be just a few yards deeper in the woods than where he and Raven stand.

…

Selia suddenly wakes from her nightmare of bug-faced men trying to catch her. Her eyes pop open only to close again in pain from the bright lights above her. She squints under the harsh glow and realizes she doesn't recognize the ceiling at all. Forcing herself into a sitting position with severely sore arms, Selia finds herself in a pristine, white hospital room. She's laying in a bed, covered by two sheets, and wearing a cotton gown dyed with green and yellow. Her Guard jacket is nowhere in sight.

The back of her head throbs and her neck is tight with a crick in it. She gently tries to massage it, but feels a spot swollen with a bruise so she drops her hand to stop herself from causing more pain. As her arm falls slack, she sees the I.V. attached to her and her eyes follow the tube to the pole sitting beside the bed. There's a bag of fluid being transferred into her body and a monitor quietly tracking her heart rate with the other wires that she didn't notice are connected to her chest.

Selia isn't sure why, but it takes several minutes for any urgency to flood her. She thinks it might be from how foggy and tired she feels or from the pain resonating through entire body. Either way, it isn't until her gaze falls over her wrists and finds the vicious bruises encircling them that she starts to panic. It's as if a gust of wind has blown her sleepy haze away and made everything startlingly clear.

She kicks off the sheets, yanking the wires from her chest, and pulling the needle from her arm, while ignoring both the monotone sound of a flatline and the sudden bleeding from her open vein. She climbs out of the bed and searches the room for a weapon. The only thing she finds to be remotely useful is the pole holding both the monitor and the IV bag. It's detachable like the ones on the Ark so she removes the I.V. bag and takes the top piece of metal, gripping it tight like players did with their bats in the century-old baseball videos she watched as a child.

Selia peeks out of the small, circular window, but finds no one around or in the room across from hers. Carefully and silently, she opens the door and steps into the unfamiliar hallway. Her knuckles turn white gripping the pole as she moves forward with her eyes peeled to find any threat, but she's distracted by the walls around her. Large, beautiful paintings are hung every few feet over the bright white. As she goes farther, she finds more evidence of being alone and, despite her ever-present pain, the young guard begins to consider that she might actually be dead and that this place is some strange purgatory.

For a moment, her caution eases as her hand slackens on the makeshift weapon. She can't be in any danger if she's already dead, right? Selia begins to believe so whole-heartedly that she nearly drops the pole. However, two voices in the distance break the silence and she snaps back to being on guard. She moves to stand flat against the wall, holding the pole in both hands, ready to swing at anyone who rounds the corner. She listens to the male and female voices grow closer, barely making out what their conversation is about.

"…Do you really believe she'll accept that?" The woman asks.

"I hope so," the man answers. "If she doesn't, then we'll –"

The man is cut off as the pair nears the corner and Selia jumps out with the pole ready for action. She startles both strangers, leaving them gaping at the sight of her. She examines them quickly, assessing their threat levels. The man is elderly, tall with gray hair, wide eyes, and a distinguished face. The woman is smaller, with darker skin, and black, curly hair. Neither look like Grounders and on a good day she could easily take them both, but she has no idea who they could be or where they came from.

"Where the hell am I?" Selia demands, her voice scratchy but strong.

"Selia, please put the pole down," the man requests gently, holding his hands up to show innocence.

The young guard's brows furrow in confusion, "How do you know my name? Who are you?"

"You told us your name," the woman informs her, her tone calm, but not nearly as kind as the man's. "Please put it down. Your arm is bleeding, we need to bandage it."

The woman appears to be a doctor with a white coat over her nice clothes. The man beside her is dressed just as well in a faded, navy blue suit. Neither of them look like they could do any harm to Selia, but when the woman tries to get closer, she holds the pole tighter and steps back.

"Where am I?" she questions again. "Who are you people?"

"You're in Mount Weather, Miss Kane," the man informs her. "My name is Dante Wallace, I'm the president."

"Mount Weather?" Selia repeats.

The name sounds familiar and she realizes it was a military bunker the United States set up a century ago. She learned about it briefly in school and then again when they were preparing to send the 100 to Earth. The dropship was supposed to land near it so the kids could live inside and use the resources, but something went wrong. Clarke had told Selia that they tried to find it, but Jasper was nearly killed with a spear to the chest in the process.

"Yes, and this is Dr. Tsing," he continues, gesturing to the woman. "She's been taking care of you."

"You've been here this whole time?" Selia mutters.

"Yes, I'd be happy to explain our history after Dr. Tsing bandages your arm and you return to your hospitable bed."

Again, they move forward and Selia steps back as she shakes her head. Alarm bells are ringing in her mind and despite his calm voice, something tells her not to trust either of them.

"How did I get here? How long has it been?"

"We had men outside and they found you nearly unconscious on the forest floor," Dante Wallace explains. "You said you were looking for your friends, that they had been taken by who you call Grounders. One had attacked you, gave you a nasty concussion, but our men brought you back to be treated."

"I don't remember any of that," she argues, though her head twinges in pain.

"Memory loss often accompanies trauma to the head," Dr. Tsing says.

"You've not been here for more than twenty-four hours. Our men found you close to dawn yesterday. We just want to help you, Selia."

The young Kane searches her mind for her memories from the past day, but everything is blurry and shadowed. She can remember only vaguely that she snuck out of camp because Clarke, Finn, and Monty were missing. Thinking hard only brings back crystal clear memories from before, one of them being the impending Grounder attack. Suddenly, nothing about where she is or the distrust for the people in front of her matters. All she knows is that her friends are in danger and she needs to help them.

"Wait, if you want to help me, then help my friends. They're in danger, the Grounders are –"

"They've already attacked your friends," Dante interrupts. Selia's eyes widen and fear claws its way up her throat. "We had men out on patrol and they brought in as many of your people as they could find. Unfortunately, we didn't reach them until after the battle."

"They're – they're here?" Selia questions in shock. "How many? Where are they?"

"Forty-eight and they are currently in our quarantine ward of the hospitable. We need to ensure they've been decontaminated before we release them. Some are taking priority, of course, so their wounds can be treated."

Selia winces at the number, horrified that a hundred kids were sent down plus Bellamy, Raven, and herself and less than half of them survived the Grounder attack. The wheels in her head, though confused, begin to spin rapidly, considering the possibilities that Raven, Bellamy, and Octavia are part of the casualties.

"I want to see them," she says firmly.

"Of course," the president agrees gently. "But you will have to wait until they've been released from quarantine. The outside radiation doesn't hurt you, but it does hurt us. You've already been decontaminated, you don't want to go through that again."

"How long?"

"Well, we're not exactly used to the numbers," Dr. Tsing answers. "We're moving as quickly as we can, but it will take time."

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" Selia demands. "How do I know you're not treating us like patients when we're really prisoners?"

"I suppose asking you to just trust us is not enough." The president sighs, eyeing the pole she refuses to release. "I believe one of your friends is already in recovery here. Could she see him, Dr. Tsing?"

"He won't be conscious," she says. "He just came out of surgery."

"I'm sure Miss Kane will take comfort in the sight of a familiar face," he says.

"Very well. This way, then."

Selia hesitates before following them, still gripping the pole in case she needs a weapon. Her bare feet pad against the clean tile, smoother than what they walked on in the Ark. The room they guide her to isn't very far and soon she's standing inside a similarly white place as where she awoke. Lying in the bed is a familiar face, just as she was promised and despite the I.V. connected to his arm the gauze covering one of his shoulders, Selia is more than relieved.

"He is one of your friends, right?" Dante questions and Selia nods.

"His name is Nate," she murmurs.

Selia remembers when the boy was arrested and how upset his father had been. In the days leading up to the launch, the commanding officer didn't speak more than a few words. Sergeant Miller would be proud, though. Nate is strong and brave, and, most importantly, alive.

"Feeling a little better? Perhaps you could put the pole down," the president suggests.

"Right," Selia agrees before setting the makeshift weapon on the ground. "Sorry."

"No apology necessary," he assures. "You've been through a lot. It's completely understandable why you would be on guard."

…

"Now, how are you feeling?" Dr. Tsing questions once Selia is back in her hospitable bed with an I.V. drip in place.

"Fine, just a headache," Selia says, leaving out all the pain and discomfort that has become normal for her.

"Hmm," the woman hums, clearly disagreeing with the self-assessment. "Selia, we took some blood and had it tested as we did for the rest of your friends, but what we found was rather alarming."

"Cancer is generally alarming."

"So, you know about it?" Dante asks in surprise.

"Of course."

"Why would they send someone with such a serious illness to the Ground?"

"They didn't know," Selia tells the confused doctor. "Well, my doctor knew, but she couldn't do anything to stop me from leaving."

Selia leaves out the part about her breaking the law to get to Earth. She's not sure how they would react to the news, but she doesn't think it's relevant in the long run.

"You didn't have any sort of treatment in space?"

"We did, but I turned it down. My mother died from the same illness and the treatment only prolonged her suffering. It couldn't save her."

"Did the treatment consist of chemotherapy?" Dr. Tsing asks.

"Yes."

"It's fascinating your people didn't make any advances in that field."

Selia is slightly offended by the woman's harmless comment. They made plenty of advancements, but cancer didn't run rampant in space. Plus, survival on the Ark didn't provide a lot of time and resources for scientific inquiry for something that was actually uncommon.

"We have a different treatment, an actual cure," the doctor explains. "It's quite different from what you are familiar with."

"W-what?"

The word 'cure' echoes in her mind as confusion and disbelief fill her. The word seems like a joke at this point, one she never hoped to hear in such a context. She considers the implications of the doctor being truthful. The idea of recovering seems too good to be true and she realizes how much she has already truly accepted her own mortality.

"The cancer can be cured," Dr. Tsing says plainly. "In the history of using this treatment, all but one patient has made a full recovery."

"My mother was around your age when she was diagnosed and she was cured," the president adds when he sees Selia struggling to believe her. "She lived on to get married, have a child, have a good life…"

Caution and uncertainty consumes Selia. She still doesn't completely trust them even after seeing Nate. Plus, she can't remember anything they've said has happened. Yet, there's a voice in the back of her head, one belonging to the part of her who has always been terrified and too stubborn to lay down and die, that screams at her to believe them. If this cure is genuine, she could have her life back. It would be different than anything she dreamed of after all she has lost, but it would still be a life and that's something she thought she could never have.

Maybe she could see the ocean with Bellamy Blake.

"As a rule, we wait for consent before starting something like this, but when they found you, you were on death's door," Dr. Tsing tells her. "The only way for us to save you was to begin treatment while you were unconscious."

"Wait, what?" Selia questions in surprise.

"I do apologize for going on without permission, but it was completely necessary."

"I don't understand. What's the treatment? How did you do it without me knowing?"

"Well, it's not as harsh as the treatment you are familiar with and doesn't take nearly as long."

"So, I'm – I'm cured already?"

Dr. Tsing laughs, "No, not quite. It's a ten-treatment process with forty-eight-hour rest periods between each one. You have nine to go and we'll do the next the day after tomorrow."

"Wow," Selia murmurs. "I don't know what to say. I – I really thought…"

She really thought she was going to die. There was no hope that she could ever survive, no hope for any existence of a cure, but here she is, being offered a lifeline by strangers.

"I can't imagine," the doctor says. "I'm just glad we found you in time."

"Yeah…me too…"

While Selia struggles to remember them finding her, the doctor quickly continues with the conversation after sharing a strange look with the president.

"There are side effects that you should be prepared for as they are very common. The pain and discomfort you already feel will not subside automatically, but it also will not worsen during treatment, which is good. After treatment, you'll most likely feel dizzy, nauseous, and extremely tired," Dr. Tsing explains. "The ones that will affect you in between treatments are more likely to be difficulty concentrating, hallucinations, and trouble with memory."

"That's it?"

The doctor smiles kindly and nods, "That's it."

 _I'll be cured…_

* * *

Hi!

So, the cure has finally been revealed! Most of you already guessed it and I'm sorry for not answering your questions on her survival. I just didn't want to give it away too early. But now you can be comforted that Sel won't die from the cancer and she'll be back to her badass self soon.

Just to clarify, Selia has no memory of how she got to Mount Weather so she doesn't remember Roan, the Reapers, or the harvesting. Don't worry, it's not permanent, but the Mountain Men won't help her if they think she remembers all their secrets.

There will be more Bellamy POV in the next chapter, but I was wondering if anyone would be interested in reading Marcus POV? Let me know!

Please review and let me know what you thought of the chapter!

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following. Special thanks to my lovely reviewers. You guys are awesome!

Hope to hear from you soon,

\- V :)


	15. Chapter 15

Bellamy isn't certain how things ended up this way. When he came home from work that day and found Shumway, this is not the future he foresaw. All he ever wanted was to protect Octavia, so while he doesn't regret taking charge and becoming responsible for everyone else, nothing in his life prepared him for it. He wasn't ready for Grounders or a war. He wasn't ready to send his little sister with the man she loved, the same man he tortured, just to keep her safe. He wasn't ready to find out Selia was dying or to let her slip through his fingers because he wasn't paying attention.

And he definitely wasn't ready to come face to face with Marcus Kane in the middle of the woods.

"Where is my daughter, Blake?" The man demands in an eerily calm tone.

Abby Griffin is in front of Bellamy and Finn, checking their wounds, and asking a similar question about her own daughter. Bellamy can't even form words as he stares back at the man he thought died when the dropship crashed. He can still feel Selia shaking in his arms as she suffered through the loss of her one remaining parent. He can't even imagine the pure joy that Selia would feel if she saw her dad now, alive and visibly uninjured.

But she's not here.

"…She was when we left." Bellamy only catches the end of Finn's exchange with Abby.

"And Selia?" The doctor whispers just loud enough for the young leader to hear. She's staring straight at him, waiting for the truth, but the words catch in Bellamy's throat.

"Hey!" Marcus snaps, appearing much closer, and nearly shoving Abby out of the way. The man grabs a fistful of Bellamy's stolen jacket. "I asked you a question. Where the hell is my daughter?"

"Marcus," Abby tries to intervene, making it clear that Kane still has no idea of Selia's health. Marcus, however, is too busy glaring daggers at Bellamy to see the pleading look in the doctor's eyes.

"I – I don't know," Bellamy mutters the truth through a clenched jaw. Anger courses through him, defiant and frustrated, but he doesn't fight against Selia's father.

"What do you mean you don't know?" A different voice growls. Evan Marks moves to Marcus' side, hands curling into fists as he itches to take over for the commanding officer.

"She was searching for us and we were searching for her," Finn, thankfully, intercedes as Bellamy's expression hardens to stone. "Hopefully, she's back at the dropship already."

Kane only nods in reply, releasing Bellamy as a sign of acceptance. The man turns to give orders to Sinclair right as Abby is getting ready to question the boys further, desperately wanting to know about Selia's health. Before she can say anything, however, Evan grabs Bellamy's arm hard.

"She better be," he warns before stalking off to listen to Kane.

…

"Where is everyone?" Bellamy mutters.

The boys were beyond frustrated when they were left to be babysat right outside of camp. As if they haven't been here the entire time and fought a damn war. That's more than any of these uniformed men have experienced, including Marcus Kane.

They might have stayed if they hadn't heard Evan call for a stretcher. After that, the guard had no hopes of stopping the boys as they used the secret tunnel to get back inside their home – or what's left of it. What was once a decent camp made from hard work is now a graveyard. The scorched remains of the Grounder army blacken the earth like an ashy blanket. And not one of the hundred kids who lived here just yesterday are anywhere to be seen.

Finn goes to reply, but is interrupted by a familiar voice. They see Kane assisting the culprit as he limps out of the dropship, telling the story of the battle for which he wasn't even present. The mere sight of John Murphy sends a wave of fury over Bellamy, tinting his vision red. The absence of all the people he cares about seems to echo in the silence of camp, but here Murphy is, somehow still alive for no good reason. So, it's easy to understand why Bellamy can't control himself. His fists react before he can even think and soon he has the younger boy on the ground, good and bloody.

Bellamy doesn't hear his own words or Finn's trying to stop him. He doesn't even feel the biting pain that comes with each punch to Murphy's face. All he feels is the uncontainable rage flowing through his veins until something more startling intervenes.

The hundred's leader finds himself convulsing in the ash suddenly as sharp jolts of electricity run through him. Marcus and Evan stand over him, the latter looking smug in Bellamy's blurred vision.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," the guard says.

"Place him under arrest," Kane orders.

"Gladly," Evan agrees before roughly yanking Bellamy to his feet.

…

Dante was true to his word when he said he would share the history of Mount Weather. Once Dr. Tsing left Selia's room, he dove into a very detailed explanation. She was surprised by a great deal of what he told her – his people's survival, their inability to leave the mountain, and the hostility they experienced from the Grounders as well. She was also surprised by his lack of questions in return, but she chalked it off as him not wanting to overwhelm her.

When their conversation came to an end, she again questioned when she would be able to see her friends. She managed to be polite while he spoke, but she was anxious. She still didn't completely trust them and she was desperate to see the others and make sure they're okay. Of course, he couldn't give her what she wanted, so he offered her another way to pass the time until she could see them.

To replace his company, he lends her a stack of books. Selia is over the moon at the sight of them, relishing in the mere age of each page. Dante leaves with a smile, pleased to have successfully distracted the young woman, but she doesn't notice. She easily immerses herself in worlds of the past when there was still enough time to spare to focus on the beauty of literature. When you're floating in space and living with a finite amount of resources, writing for the sake of writing isn't really an option. Laney made sure to instill a love for reading and an appreciation for the art in Selia before she died.

It gives her a sense of peace for a short moment. But it fades away quickly and soon each word on the page becomes a jumbled mess, ruining her concentration. Selia tries to force everything out of her mind, the distrust, suspicion, the complete lack of memory, because these people have offered her something she never even dreamed was possible. She tries to hang onto the hope they've handed her and the sight of Nate alive and being treated as proof that these aren't bad people. Yet, her neck aches and her head pounds, begging her to remember what she lost in the last twenty-four hours.

Selia casts her eyes on the bruises encircling her wrists. The coloring is bright and she can see where the restraints broke through her skin. The president and the doctor offered no explanation for how she got these and there's no reason they would have needed to restrain her. The young guard desperately wracks her brain for the missing pieces, turning her heavy arms over again and again to examine the strange wounds. It's right there, right within reach, but it slips through her fingers before she can truly remember.

Suddenly, the hair on her arms stand as bumps break out over her skin. She's being watched. Selia's muscles, what's left of them anyway, coil and her fingers curl into fists. She glances up at the window and finds the culprit making a hasty getaway.

Only, she recognizes the mop of black hair.

"Bellamy?"

Without thinking, Selia tosses the book on her lap aside and peels off her covers in a swift motion. She's out of the hospital bed and sliding over the tile before something sharp yanks her back. The needle of the I.V. hangs precariously in her arm, still connected to a vein. She stares at the pole keeping her anchored to the bed and away from Bellamy until she realizes there are wheels at the bottom. She quickly kicks the brakes off and pulls it with her as she rushes through the door.

"Bellamy!" She calls as she sees him turning a corner in the familiar, stolen jacket.

Selia is confused that he isn't slowing down or even turning to look at her. She desperately tries to push herself forward, to match his long strides, but she overdoes it. Her tired legs wobble beneath her as she fails at running and by the time she rounds the same corner, not only is Bellamy gone, but her legs give out completely. Her knees connect with the smooth tile with a sharp shooting pain. She feels blood rush to the service, swelling to form new bruises.

She tries to use the I.V. pole to climb back to her feet as she becomes nearly frantic in her need to find Bellamy, but she's still too weak.

"Selia?" Dr. Tsing's startled voice appears behind her. "Help her up!"

The young guard finds herself lifted into another's arms with ease while the doctor takes hold of the I.V. pole. Selia glances up at the man holding her now and is surprised to find someone who looks nothing like the nurse she expects. He's dressed in a nice but faded suit just as the president had been and his chocolate-colored hair is pushed back neatly. He offers a gentle smile, one that displays the small scar above his lip, but Selia just stares back.

"You must be Miss Kane," he says in a smooth voice. "I'm Cage Wallace."

"Wallace?" she repeats with an arched brow.

"Yes, the president's son." The man continues to smile at her like this isn't strange, while Selia is left feeling awkward in his arms as he carries her back to the hospital room.

"What were you doing out of bed?" Dr. Tsing demands.

"I saw my friend," Selia mutters. "I was trying to get to him."

She is soon set back in bed and the president's son pulls the covers over her thin body before stepping away to allow the doctor to examine her.

"Your friend?"

"He was at my door and then I followed him down the hall, but I wasn't fast enough."

"Your friends are not in this wing of the hospital," Dr. Tsing says. "The few that have been released were taken to the dormitory to see where they will be living."

"I saw him," Selia argues, pointing to the window in the door. "He was right there!"

"It was a hallucination, Selia. I warned you they are an ever-present side effect of the treatment."

"I think I know the difference –"

"They will only grow more frequent and more vivid as we continue treating the cancer," Dr. Tsing interrupts. "There's no way for your mind to discern between the two, but try to think about things logically before following one again. Would your friend walk away from you when you're trying to speak with him usually?"

"No," Selia answers with mumble, feeling like a child being lectured by the adults.

"Then, that's how you can tell it's not real."

Selia scowls out the doctor rather petulantly, but doesn't respond. Instead, she glances at the man who is still in the room for some reason.

"I heard you were a guard on the Ark," Cage says, taking his cue from Selia's stare. "I'm in charge of security. I thought it would be nice to talk."

…

Marcus' life has been incredibly empty in the absence of his daughter. He realized very quickly why Abby made the choices that she did once Selia was on the Ground as well. He had a personal crisis in the aftermath of learning she was on the pod with Raven Reyes because he didn't believe those kids were alive or fit to survive much longer if they were. He was already searching for another solution to save their people, including the one that would sacrifice three hundred of them just so the rest could live. It was Raven and Selia who seemingly saved everyone with their unsanctioned departure and proved that Marcus had been wrong all along.

Without Selia to brighten his life, Marcus took a dark turn. It was easy to understand that had it not been for his young daughter, his wife's death probably would have destroyed him entirely because he couldn't seem to live with the guilt without her there to ease it. Watching Laney die and being unable to do anything to stop her suffering has been eating away at him for the past sixteen years. It's Selia's sweet nature that numbed the pain. So, while she was quite literally a world away, everything collapsed around him.

The guilt he felt from his wife's death was only intensified with the guilt he felt from not being able to save his people. He nearly took three hundred innocent lives for the sake of survival, something neither Laney nor Selia would ever see as an option. The fact that Jaha's fingers had been hovering over the button when Raven Reyes' voice finally broke through the intercom made him sick. They almost died for nothing because of Marcus' idea. Living with that along with the struggle to figure out a way to still save everyone, not seeing what Diana Sydney had planned, and his mother dying was all too much.

Then, there was the shame he felt for how much he truly relied on his daughter. How long had her strength been his? Does she even know that she's always been what holds him together?

He feels like a pathetic excuse of a father, but he doesn't care. He needs his little girl back.

"Open it up," he orders of the guard standing outside of Bellamy Blake's makeshift jail cell.

"Yes, sir."

Marcus hands his rifle to the guard before entering through the now opened door. The two other guards inside nod in respect as they move out of the way. Bellamy is busy pacing but stops to glare at the older man. Kane has found it difficult to even look at the boy since he broke Selia's heart. He would have gladly floated him with his mother had Selia not stepped in to save Bellamy. He struggles to contain the rage he feels over the fact that he must speak with the boy while his daughter is nowhere to be found.

"How long are you going to keep me locked up in here?"

"Until I'm confident you're no longer a threat to others," he replies. "Let's continue."

The truth of the matter is, Marcus is well-aware that Bellamy is not a threat to anyone else in the camp. He attacked John Murphy because he was responsible for several deaths and Raven Reyes' current state. The other boy has also been arrested and will be locked up as soon as he's cleared from medical, so it's safe to say that Bellamy won't go after him again. However, Kane can't seem to push past his personal distaste for the Blake kid.

"I told you everything I know about the Grounders," Bellamy says. "I need to be a part of the search team."

"And I told you before, it's out of the question. You're not trained, it's too dangerous."

"Then, why are you even here?"

"Because nothing anyone has told me has anything to do with my daughter," Kane tells him plainly as he sits in a chair he has dragged over.

Bellamy visibly tenses at the mention of Selia and his angry eyes soften with something that Marcus recognizes as guilt.

"Finn Collins says she was looking for you two and you were looking for her, but that doesn't make sense. She didn't make it to the dropship either?"

The young leader looks away from Marcus, unable to meet his gaze as sadness wells within him.

"She wasn't at the battle," Bellamy admits quietly.

"What do you mean?" Kane presses.

"Clarke and Finn went missing, they were taken by Grounders during a hunt. Before they escaped and made it back, I took some people out to look for them and we lost Monty Greene. When Selia found out they were missing, she wanted to go searching again, but I told her no one was leaving camp. It was too dangerous," he explains in a stiff voice. "So, she snuck out of camp and went on her own."

"Clarke and Finn came back, but she didn't?" Fear boils with his anger as Marcus struggles to understand what Bellamy is trying to tell him.

"No."

"And you didn't go looking for her?" he spits.

"Of course I went looking for her," Bellamy replies sharply, finally returning Marcus' glare. "But then Murphy killed someone and took another person hostage!"

"So, you chose someone else over my daughter."

Bellamy scoffs, though his guilt is plain as day on his face. "You think I wanted to just leave her out there? I did what Selia would have done, okay? I didn't want to, but I had to make the choice."

"I think you made the choice because my daughter's life isn't worth anything to you. I know her feelings aren't!"

"You don't know anything," Bellamy growls.

"I know I should have executed you when I had the chance," Marcus returns in the same tone. "Tell me, do you think it's fair that a criminal like you is safe, but Selia isn't?"

"Yeah, you should have because it isn't fair."

"Everything she's done for you, all the times she's saved you, and you couldn't protect her in return? You didn't have to love her, but you owed it to her."

"I did! I do love her and I did everything I could to protect her!" The young leader shouts.

"Then, why isn't she here?" Kane demands, not believing him at all.

"This is Selia we're talking about! She heard Clarke was missing and she didn't care what she risked trying to find her!"

"If you knew that, then you should have been able to stop her!"

Marcus realizes that Bellamy is right. Selia would do anything to protect Clarke, she would do anything to protect anyone. His daughter has always been brave, so brave that she's reckless at times. She'll dive head first into danger if it's to help someone else, just like her mother. He even realizes that Bellamy couldn't have stopped her, no one could, but that doesn't ease any of the emotions tearing at his heart.

However, Bellamy doesn't have the same realization. It's clear that he agrees with Kane's harsh words.

"I know," he mutters sadly. He slumps into the chair across from Marcus and hangs his head in his hands. "I should have."

They sit there in silence for a while as Selia's absence takes a toll on them. Marcus stares at the young man in front of him, remembering the years he spent with his daughter before the brutal ending of their relationship. Bellamy Blake had been the source of Selia's happiness for so long. Even though Marcus always felt no one was good enough for her, he couldn't deny the way she grew even brighter during their years together. He didn't always hate the kid in front of him, he didn't always feel this fury because Selia's heart wasn't always torn to pieces.

"We're going to find her," Marcus announces. "And the rest of your friends."

Kane stands up and turns to leave, but Bellamy's voice stops him.

"There's something you should know…"

Marcus glances back to see Bellamy's solemn expression and he feels a chill run down his spine.

…

Selia sits in her hospitable bed, flipping through the pages of a classic novel, but she suffers from another side effect of the cure. All the words seem to float right off the pages before she can read any of them. Try as she might, her concentration slips away every few seconds.

A knock on the door provides a new a distraction and she can see President Wallace through the window.

"I think this will make you feel better," he says to another person as he opens the door.

Selia peers at him in confusion before he steps aside to let whoever he's speaking to inside the room. When she sees the blonde girl enter through the door hesitantly, shooting a distrusting look at the man as she moves, the young guard's heart stutters with relief.

"Clarke?"

The younger girl turns away from the president when she hears Selia's voice and her eyes widen at the sight, tears filling them instantly.

"Sel?" Clarke breathes in utter disbelief.

Selia puts the book aside and sits up straighter as Clarke rushes to her side. The blonde flings her arms around her like she used to do when she was a child. The guard doesn't hesitate to return the tight hug, even with her aching arms she uses as much strength as she can muster to hold the girl close.

"I – I thought I lost you," Clarke admits tearfully with her cheek pressed against Selia's shoulder. "You weren't there when I got back and – and I thought –"

"Shh, it's okay, Clarke," Selia assures. It's unlike her to be so upset, but the older girl soothes her with ease nonetheless. "Turns out it takes a lot more to get rid of me."

"How did you get here?" Clarke asks as she pulls away.

"They told me I was attacked by a Grounder and their men found me nearly unconscious in the woods," she explains, brushing Clarke's tears from her cheeks. "I don't really remember, though. I got hit in the head and the medicine they're giving me messes with my head."

"They're giving you medicine?"

"Not just medicine," Selia beams. "They have a cure."

Clarke looks beyond shocked at the news and glances back at the president in confusion. The elderly man nods with a gentle smile, affirming what Selia has said. Then, he closes the door with a soft click and leaves the two girls to speak in private. The guard's smile begins to fade as she takes in Clarke's torn expression.

"What is it?" she asks in concern.

"Do you trust them?"

The question startles Selia slightly and Clarke's sharp eyes watch her carefully. These people have given her a gift she never dreamed was possible. They've been nothing but kind to her and they saved her people. However, something nags at the back of Selia's mind, aching to fill the void where her memories are lost. She knows that something important is missing and that all the answers they've given her line up as they should, but the pieces are crooked, so they don't fit the puzzle.

Selia doesn't want to lie to Clarke, but she can see the fear in her young friend's eyes.

"You don't?" Selia questions in return.

"No, I – I –"

"You've been through a lot, Clarke. It would be foolish to trust strangers so easily," she says. Rather than sharing her own suspicion, Selia decides to focus on quelling hers.

"It's all too good to be true," Clarke tells her worriedly. "Who are they? Why didn't they help us sooner? Why are they helping us at all when the Grounders just wanted us dead?"

"I imagine they didn't trust us in the beginning either. And you can't blame them for not wanting to get involved in a war. What matters is that they did come to our aid and they're helping us now."

"But…" Clarke's wide eyes suddenly fill with tears again, surprising Selia. "I'm – I'm scared, Sel. I just don't believe them."

Selia's taken back by the younger girl's admission because Clarke always acts so strong. She is quick to take care of her, though, just like she did when they were kids. The guard nods in understanding before pulling Clarke into another embrace. Gently, Selia's fingers run through her tangled hair while she promises that everything will be all right.

"It's okay to be scared," she promises. "It's okay to not trust them. Just trust me, all right? Everything will be okay."

Selia isn't sure if her words come across to Clarke as empty or not, but the younger of two holds on tightly like she's desperate to believe. Unfortunately, Selia is left trying to shove her own fears down deep so Clarke will never find out about them. Worry swirls through her mind, however, as her own distrust intensifies and all the answers she's already been given birth a thousand more.

 _Is everything really going to be okay?_

* * *

Hello!

I am so sorry for the delay! I had the hardest time deciding what all I wanted to go into this chapter. It was a lot of writing and deleting and it got long really quickly. I hope it was okay, but I'm sorry if it didn't have that much going on!

We are officially in season two and I'm super excited! I have lots of plans, especially with the hallucinations. We just got a brief one in this chapter, but there will be a lot more to them in later chapters. I'm hoping to get some good bonding time between Sel and Clarke so you can see how close they really are since I haven't really done that so far.

Originally, I intended this chapter to include Clarke telling Selia about what happened to Bellamy, Raven, and Octavia and for Bellamy to tell Marcus about Selia's cancer, but I just couldn't get it to work in this one. So, I promise chapter 16 will have both with another Marcus POV as well! Also, I know that the beginning with Bellamy wasn't really necessary, but I wanted to show that Marcus and Evan (who will have more of a role from now on) are still pissed at Bellamy even though Selia isn't anymore.

What did you all think? How was Marcus' POV? Please review and let me know what you thought! I really appreciate and love the feedback!

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following! Special thanks to my wonderful reviewers! You all rock!

Hope to hear from you,

\- V :)


	16. Chapter 16

"So, what happened after I left? How did you escape the Grounders?" Selia asks when Clarke finally pulls away.

Clarke begins a detailed recount of what the young guard missed. She starts with being captured by Anya to save a child injured during the bombing of the bridge. Selia feels her stomach twist as she realizes that she was the one who technically killed the kid. However, she has little time to feel terrible before the next detail surfaces.

"Reapers?" Selia repeats when the blonde describes the mining tunnel Lincoln led them through to escape and the enemy lying within it.

"Yeah, the Grounders are terrified of them. I'm not sure what's wrong with them, but I do know they're cannibals."

The nagging feeling returns with a vengeance. They sound so familiar to her, but she can't explain it. It feels like the word is hammering her skull and trying to dig itself into her brain. Memories bubble, but they are too blurry to understand.

"When we got back, Finn and I were able to convince everyone to leave before the attack, but the scouts had already arrived. We were forced to go back, to stay in fight," Clarke continues, unaware of her friend's silent struggle.

"You beat the Grounders?" the guard questions as she tries to shake the confusion away.

"Yeah, but only because of Raven. She made it so we could set off the dropship's rockets. It fried everyone."

"Jeez," Selia exhales in a mix of surprise and relief.

"We went outside in the morning and that's when these people gassed our camp. We all woke up here."

Selia thinks back to her strange dream of being chased by bug-faced men. Perhaps what made them bug-faced were gas masks. She wonders if it could really be a coincidence that she had that dream before waking up in Mount Weather as well.

"Sel?" Clarke's concerned voice breaks through her thoughts. The guard quickly shakes her head, again in an attempt to hide her suspicion. "Are you okay?"

"Of course," Selia assures with a half-forced smile. "I'm relieved you're safe and that they brought you all here. Where are the others anyway? Raven, Bellamy, and Octavia are probably a little angry with me for leaving like that. I definitely owe them an apology."

Clarke stiffens when she hears their names and it does not go unnoticed by the older girl. The blonde suddenly averts her gaze and locks eyes with something different. Selia glances where she is and sees the heart monitor measuring each beat. The steady beeping tone picks up with her nerves as she becomes completely aware that something happened and Clarke doesn't want to share.

"Where are they?" she presses with a new sense of urgency. "Did something happen?"

"Well, Miller said that Lincoln came back during the battle and Bellamy sent Octavia with him to keep her safe. So, I haven't seen her since before the battle," Clarke explains, carefully measuring Selia's reaction to each word.

"Okay," she accepts. If Bellamy is the one who sent her, he must believe she's safe. That should be comforting, but the trepidation and regret on the younger girl's face makes her lungs empty with fear. "And the others?"

"We all had to get into the dropship before we could set the rockets off," Clarke continues hesitantly. "We were waiting for Bellamy. When he finally got inside the camp walls, he couldn't get to us. The Grounders made it over the wall and he was fighting them. Finn ran to get him, but we ran out of time…"

"What are you saying?"

"They knew what was going to happen, they knew they had to run," she tells the guard. "I know they got away, but they're not here."

Selia's heart stutters at the news and she forgets to breathe for several moments. _Bellamy isn't here?_ All the things she wished she said before she snuck out of camp come to the surface. Mount Weather gave her a second chance to share it all, but he's not here to listen.

"Sel," Clarke interrupts the anxiety begging to overwhelm her. "They got away. They are out there looking for us now. Bellamy is out there."

The voice in the back of her head agrees and Selia nods. "Right, it's Bellamy and Finn. Of course they're out there."

Selia desperately tries to swallow the uncertainty and nods again with more vigor.

"We have to talk to the president and make sure he has people out there looking for them," she says. "Is Raven with them? Or is she here?"

Any comfort Selia took from Clarke's insistence dries up immediately from the remorseful expression now contorting her face.

"Clarke?"

"After you left and before Finn and I got back, something happened with Murphy. He took Jasper hostage and tried to kill Bellamy. While they were trying to save him, Raven got shot," Clarke explains softly. "She survived, and I stopped the external bleeding, but I didn't know the damage the bullet did inside of her."

"What…what are you saying?" Selia demands in a shaky voice.

"The bullet was shifting inside of her and she was bleeding internally. During the battle, she lost feeling in her legs."

"Clarke," Selia's voice takes on a sharper edge. "Where is she?"

The blonde shakes her head, eyes growing wet from the terror clear in Selia's.

"She was barely alive when morning came. They didn't bring her here."

…

"There's something you should know…" Bellamy's voice is different now, gentler, worn. "You might want to sit down."

"What is it?" Marcus demands without moving back to his chair.

The boy exhales a shaky breath. "Selia couldn't tell you, she was too afraid."

"Tell me what?" he questions with an edge.

Bellamy doesn't realize it, but his expression tells Marcus everything before his words have the chance. He knows that look, he knows the way eyes soften with an apology and grief. He recognizes the tremble in Bellamy's lips before he gives news that will destroy everything. And when the boy finally opens his mouth to say the sentence that will kill Kane, he is already shaking his head in denial.

"She's sick."

"No," Marcus argues without hesitation.

"Kane," Bellamy murmurs, understanding the reaction. "She has cancer, she's known since after the dropship launched. She –"

"Stop," he growls.

Marcus storms out of the current jail cell, shoving past the guards who are waiting outside for his conversation with Bellamy to end. He rounds the corner quickly, determined to ignore everything he just heard, but he can't. He stumbles in his haste and the wall catches him. He tries to push away from it, but the muscles in his arms falter. An image of his daughter comes to mind, not the twenty-three old, but the little girl he still sees with copper braids and curious eyes.

He exhales a sharp breath as the memory of Selia standing beside Laney as she died surfaces. Even at seven, she was stronger than him. Even at seven, she was holding him together.

"How could she have cancer?" Marcus questions aloud, his voice breaking at the word he's always treated as a curse.

Kane thinks and thinks, certain he can dismiss Bellamy's words, but horror fills him with the memories. He remembers when she fainted at Abby's execution even after Jaha saved the doctor. Abby said it was low blood sugar and Marcus just accepted it with ease. He remembers all the mornings Selia woke up late, all the meals she was absent from, and all the times he came home to find her locked in the bathroom. He thinks of how Selia's skin had been paling, the dark circles under her eyes had been darkening, and how she seemed to drown in her uniform a little more each day.

He presses his back against the wall to steady himself, but it does little to slow his mind. He thinks of her image on the monitor when she was already on the ground. Selia looked more fragile than ever before and he had chalked it off to what the kids were experiencing on Earth.

How could all the signs have been so inexplicably clear and he still managed to ignore them? How could he dismiss it all as nothing?

Marcus suddenly sinks to the ground, his fingers knotting in his hair and yanking at the roots. Tears burn his eyes and a sob claws through his chest. In those final moments in space, he was willing to sacrifice himself to save his people because he had been so wrong in all his earlier decisions and he knew that at least his daughter could be proud of him once he was gone. However, he couldn't deny the relief he felt when he realized Jaha had made the choice first. As Kane closed his eyes and felt the violent release of the Ark in its trip down, all he could think of was Selia.

He wanted nothing more than to see his daughter, to wrap her in the tightest hug and thank God that they were together again. His heart raced the entire time they hiked through the woods as he searched for his little girl. They were on Earth, they were alive, and he was ecstatic, danger be damned. Each minute that passed and they continued to be separated felt like a year, but he knew each step brought them closer. Until he was there and she wasn't.

There was hope that he refused to give up when they found that all the kids were missing. A large group like that doesn't just vanish. All he had to do was keep looking and fighting whoever stood in his way and he would find Selia. But now Bellamy has given him news that shatters his heart and his hope. If Sel has the same cancer Laney had and she hasn't had any sort of treatment, he can't even think of what shape she's in now. If she left before they landed…is she even alive?

The Head of the Guard and interim Chancellor crumbles to pieces right there in the hallway. Without Selia or any hope that he can find her before it's too late, he has nothing left to keep him together.

…

"Sel, slow down!" Clarke pleads.

This time, Selia doesn't bother with the I.V. pole. She rips the needle from her vein and throws herself from the bed. She has no idea where she's going, but orders Clarke to take her to the president's office. She forces the tears stinging her eyes back, she won't cry, and she won't accept this. Her lungs burn and her muscles ache as she pushes herself faster than she should. Clarke is there to help her each time she stumbles, preventing any crashes to the floor, but Selia shoves her away each time so she can continue on her own.

The office comes into sight as well as the security guard standing outside the door. He looks shocked to see the two girls and moves to stop them, but Selia is able to slip past, sliding over the ground with her bare feet, while Clarke isn't so lucky. The young guard throws open the office door, rather dramatically interrupting a conversation between Dante and Cage. Both men turn to her in surprise, taking in her thin, breathless figure drowning in the tie-dye gown.

"Selia," Dante greets with a confused expression while somehow maintaining a kind smile. "I thought you were going to stay in bed and rest."

"Your people –" Selia gasps to fill her lungs with air. "Your people left my friend at camp! You have to go back!"

"What are you talking about?" the president questions in concern.

The security guard who stopped Clarke bursts into the room, the blonde nowhere in sight. "I'm sorry, sir! I'll escort her back to Medical."

"It's okay," Dante chuckles. "Miss Kane is a very determined young woman and apparently we have something to discuss."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, of course."

The security guard nods before exiting the office and closing the door behind him. Selia huffs impatiently and the Wallace men return their attention to her.

"Clarke told me that Raven was alive, that she survived through the night, but your people didn't bring her!"

"Selia, I assure you, my men were told to bring any and all survivors here," Cage assures.

"Then why isn't she here?" she demands. "Clarke said she was alive!"

"Perhaps she was," Dante offers. "If she was barely holding on, it could explain why she didn't make it by the time they found her."

Selia shakes her head vehemently, her eyes blazing with angry tears.

Taken back by her emotion, Cage quickly continues for his father. "I wasn't there, but if you would like to speak with someone who was, I can call –"

"Yes, do it," she orders. "Please."

Cage nods and moves behind Dante's desk to call for someone while the president gestures for Selia to take a seat. She does, but her entire body shakes with nerves. Her breaths shudder through her body as she tries to control her emotions in front of these strangers. She is so attached to the idea that Bellamy is alive simply because Clarke said so that she won't even give it a second thought. However, that same confidence is lacking as she thinks about Raven.

Horrible thoughts float through her mind and each whispered word from the voice inside her head makes it harder to fight the tears. Desperate and devastated, Selia can feel every nerve ending tightening inside of her and she can't even hear the president as he attempts small talk. Before she can burst into a million pieces, however, an unfamiliar man joins them in the office.

Selia jumps to her feet, immediately regretting the swift movement as she reaches for her head to hold it as it spins. Once her vision clears enough, she turns a hard gaze on the stranger.

"Emerson," Cage addresses the new man. "This is Selia Kane. She believes you and the team may have left one of her friends alive in their camp."

"No, sir," he answers without hesitation. "We took every survivor we could find."

"That's not possible," Selia argues. "Raven _was_ alive!"

"Why don't you describe her to Emerson?" Dante suggests. "He might remember seeing her."

"She was the one with the bullet wound."

Their guards are crap. Selia can read Emerson like a book. She sees the immediate flicker in his eyes when she mentions the injury. She knows before he says a word that he did find Raven and she waits with baited breath for his reply.

"Ah," he murmurs. "We did find a young woman with a bullet wound in her side, but I'm afraid she was already gone."

"You're wrong!" Selia spits.

"I took her pulse myself, ma'am. There was nothing. She wasn't breathing," he says, unfazed by the wild denial in her eyes.

"No," the young guard's voice cracks. "No, she can't be dead. She – she's my best friend. She _has_ to be okay."

Despite her fight, the tears spill over.

"We're very sorry, Selia," Dante says sincerely.

"Raven can't be dead," she whispers hoarsely.

Selia feels like she's going to collapse, but not from her illness. It all hits her at once, everyone she has lost. Aside from Clarke and with Bellamy gone, Raven was all she had left. She survived losing her father, her Nana, Abby, and Evan because she was banking on the fact that she'd be dead soon too. Now, they've promised her a cure and nearly her whole family is gone.

A sob tears through her chest as she wobbles on her legs.

"I can walk you back to your room, Selia," Cage offers as he reaches out to steady her.

She stumbles backwards, shaking her head so fast that the tears smear over her cheeks. She rushes out of the president's office, bypassing the security guard completely. The young guard only makes it around the corner before she's crying too hard to make it farther. She sinks to the cold ground and wraps her bony arms around her fragile form as if it will keep her heart from ripping into a million pieces.

Selia presses her face into her knees to muffle her sobs, but her break-down is soon interrupted.

"Don't you think you're underestimating Raven?" A familiar voice rings out in the unfamiliar hall.

The young guard's eyes fly up to meet those of a woman she never expected to see again.

"A-Abby?" Selia croaks in reply.

The doctor kneels in front of her best friend's daughter and their close proximity does nothing to dissuade Selia from believing this interaction is real.

"Well? You really believe that a single bullet could kill Raven Reyes?" Abby stares expectantly at her.

"I – I don't…" Selia gets tangled in her words, speechless by her appearance. "But Clarke said…"

"Clarke said Raven was alive. Those three in there said she was dead." Abby points in the direction of the office.

"Emerson said he checked her pulse," she sniffles, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand.

Abby arches a brow, her way of silently scoffing at the idea.

"Even if he was wrong," Selia argues with a trembling voice, "Clarke said Raven lost feeling in her legs. How can she survive if she's paralyzed?"

"This is Raven we're talking about. Raven Reyes doesn't just lay down and die."

"But –"

"Do you think Raven just accepted the idea that you're dead?"

"N –"

"Selia!" Cage calls as he comes jogging around the corner.

The young guard looks up at the man before returning her attention to Abby. Only, Abby is gone and Selia is left with a headache as two parts of her brain argue over what is reality and what's not.

"Who were talking to?"

"I…" Selia sighs. _No one apparently._

"Come on," Cage murmurs gently, offering his hand. "I'll help you back to your room."

"O-okay."

Selia takes his hand and allows him to easily to pull her to her feet. As he guides her down the hallway, she glances back at the empty space that once held Abby. But it didn't really hold Abby.

 _Right…?_

…

Clarke is in the room when Cage brings Selia back. He calls a nurse to follow them in, but he still helps the young guard climb into her bed before pulling the covers over her. Once he steps out of the way, the nurse quickly reattaches her wires and reinserts her I.V. She notices that he seems a bit exasperated by the whole process, but she's too wrapped up in her own turmoil and uncertainty to be apologetic.

"You really need to stop pulling this out," the nurse advises. "You're hurting yourself."

"You'll have to forgive her," Cage says, gently smiling at Selia. "She's having a rough day."

"I can only imagine," the nurse mutters unimpressed. "Let me know if you need anything else."

Once the other man takes his leave, Clarke turns to Cage with a cautious glare. "I don't believe we've met."

"Oh, that's right. We haven't been formally introduced, but I've heard a great deal about you, Clarke," he explains, holding his hand out to shake. "I'm Cage Wallace."

"As in the president's…?"

"Son, yes."

"He's the head of security here," Selia adds in a mumble.

"You guys have met before?"

"We have. We have quite a bit in common," Cage tells her. "I enjoy her company."

"Right…" Clarke shoots Selia a questioning look, but she doesn't have it in her to respond.

"Well, I'll leave you two alone." Cage turns to the young guard in bed, patting her hand. "I'll stop by later. Have them get me if you need anything."

"Thank you."

"When did you meet the president's son?" Clarke asks after Cage is gone.

"Just earlier," she murmurs. "He's nice."

"What did you guys talk about?"

"What my job was like on the Ark. Nothing of value."

"Sel," Clarke says worriedly. "Are you okay?"

"They're all gone, Clarke." Selia's voice wavers as she fights the tears. She doesn't want to cry in front of the girl she sees as a younger sister and she doesn't want to appear any weaker than she already does. "Our parents, our friends. All of them."

"We still have each other," she assures. "And Jasper and Monty and Miller are here. We haven't lost everyone. Bellamy, Finn, and Octavia are still out there too."

Selia's cloudy gaze suddenly becomes clear as she looks at Clarke with a firm gaze. "You're right. We always have each other, Clarke. I promised I would protect you and I've done a horrible job, but –"

The young guard's voice suddenly cracks as all her emotions threaten to break through. Staring at the girl she once held as a newborn and swore to take care of makes her heart ache. She broke her promise the day she watched them arrest Clarke after arresting Jake Griffin. She feels like she's done nothing but disappoint the girl in front of her and, despite how much pain she's in with her broken heart and cancer-ridden body, she still has plenty of energy to feel ashamed.

"I won't lose you too," Selia vows.

Clarke nods, sensing there are no other words to say. And like Selia always does for her, the blonde wraps her 'older sister' in a tight embrace for comfort.

* * *

Hello!

I am so, so sorry for the delay! I did not expect it to take so long to get this out, but I had a little writer's block trying to write Marcus' reaction and then finals and moving hit. However, now that it's summer, regular updates will be much easier!

So, I know this chapter is shorter than normal and not a lot happens, but I have already started the next chapter and can promise that it is longer than usual. Hopefully that makes up for it! I just felt that was a good stopping point.

I'm going to be honest, including Cage in the story came out of left field. I really didn't plan for them to have any interaction, but then I just randomly put him in the last chapter and it gave me some ideas for future chapters. So, Cage is going to have a significant role now.

So, what did you think? How did I do with Marcus' reaction and Selia's reaction to the news about Raven? What did you think about her hallucination of Abby?

Please review and let me know what you think! I seriously love hearing from you!

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following! Special thanks to my lovely reviewers!

Hope to hear from you soon,

\- V :)


	17. Chapter 17

"I can't believe you didn't tell us," Jasper says with wide eyes.

"I can," Nate scoffs. "Sel probably thought she could tough out the cancer."

Selia grins bashfully while Jasper and Monty chuckle. The others were excited and relieved to hear that Selia was in Mount Weather and okay. They were incredibly upset when she first told them about the cancer, but the cure she's been given takes the heaviness out of the room. Miller was the only one that wasn't completely surprised by the news. He knew about her mother's death and he's known Selia long enough to see the detrimental effect it has had on her health.

"At least they have a cure," Monty says.

"Yeah, I'm pretty lucky," Selia murmurs.

Her heart hurts to say the least. She doesn't know what to believe. She forced herself to accept that her conversation with Abby was all a hallucination, but the made-up words still dance in her head. Maybe it does sell Raven short believing that she died from a bullet wound. Yet, Selia has shot enough people since arriving on Earth to know that the strongest can fall with ease with a well-aimed gun. It's not a testament to Raven's strength, it's just what happens when faced with that weapon.

Unfortunately, as much sense as that makes, it only hurts Selia more because it attempts to confirm that her best friend is dead. She's wrapped up in an intense stage of denial now. After her conversation with Clarke and the realization that she still has the blonde to look after, Selia's brain shut down to the truth. If she doesn't accept that Raven and Bellamy and Octavia are gone, she doesn't have to mourn. So, for now, the ache in her heart is from all the absences, _not_ from any losses.

"You're not going to be thinking that for long. How long before you get cabin fever in this room?" Nate teases.

"Yeah, they're already getting fed up with me leaving," she sighs. Dr. Tsing stopped by earlier in the morning to 'request' that Selia stay on bedrest and stop pulling out the I.V. or else her body won't be able to make a full recovery.

"They ought to keep Clarke on bedrest," he mumbles.

Clarke frowns at Miller while Selia glances over in concern. The air suddenly gets awkward and Jasper is quick to try to fix it.

"Well, lunch time is starting, and I really can't miss the chocolate cake."

"Same!" Monty agrees excitedly. "Want us to sneak you some, Sel?"

"That sounds great, but I can get myself into enough trouble, I don't want you to get in any too."

"Alright, let us know if you change your mind," Jasper says.

"Don't forget Miller is a thief," Monty chimes. "He'll steal you some."

The boys leave in high spirits, laughing even as her hospital door shuts. When they're gone, Selia turns to Clarke in question to see her torn expression.

"What's going on?"

"It's nothing," Clarke sighs. "I was just being paranoid earlier."

"About what?" Selia presses.

"Nothing," she repeats.

"Clarke, you can talk to me." When the younger girl remains silent, Selia realizes the problem and sighs. "I'm not made of glass. Your problems aren't going to break me. What's bothering you? Is it being here?"

"Something happened this morning, two men came back from the outside, one injured and one dead. Jasper and I followed Maya, we saw the survivor covered in radiation burns and we saw the dead body…"

"What about the dead body?"

"I thought it was a bullet wound. I swear that's what it looked like," Clarke insists. "I confronted the president and they let me see the body again, but they told me the truth in the beginning, I guess. He was killed with an arrow and they had it for proof."

"You still don't sound convinced," Selia points out in confusion.

"I don't know," the blonde admits, huffing in frustration. "Something just doesn't feel right."

"It does all feel too good to be true," Sel levels. "But I think after all the crap you've gone through, trust is a pretty safe-guarded thing. Caution is smart and fair, but so far they don't seem distrustful."

There's a voice in the back of Selia's head that begs to differ. It reminds her that she's missing a great deal of her recent memories and the story they told her to fill in the blanks doesn't satisfy. That's the part of her that is just as cautious and paranoid as Clarke, but another part begs her to ignore it because these people are saving her life and protecting her remaining friends.

"I just…I know they're hiding something. Jasper and Miller think I'm crazy and that I'm going to ruin what we have, but…"

Selia reaches for Clarke's hand and squeezes it. "But it's not that easy to let go."

"Yeah," she sighs. "I just feel like I need to do something, I need to find answers."

"No," the guard states firmly, tightening her grip on Clarke's hand. "You need to stay out of trouble. As long as I'm stuck in this hospital bed, I need you to nod and smile and act like you trust them."

"Sel, I can't just sit around when I'm not sure our people in here are safe or if they are actually trying to find the people we have out there!"

"Yes, you can. Clarke, I am begging you, lay low. I can't protect you from here and I can't –" Selia's voice wavers. "I can't lose you. Please, I'm not telling you to trust them, just don't go looking for danger. Let me get to a point where I'm allowed to come and go instead of being attached to this pole and then we will figure it out together."

"I just –"

" _Clarke_ ," Selia's tone takes on a sharper edge that the blonde has only rarely heard.

"Okay," she murmurs begrudgingly.

"Thank you."

…

"I can't imagine that training could be that extensive in space – or that it needed to," Cage says.

"You'd be surprised then," Selia counters. "Every guard is – _was_ – highly trained on the Ark. We were prepared for anything. Honestly, during the hardest days as a cadet, I seriously questioned if they thought an all-out war was going to break out in the middle of space like a bad sci-fi epic."

"Interesting," the man hums as his eyes narrow.

"Is it?" she returns a bit confused. He smiles, making the corners of his eyes crinkle, but a wave of uneasiness suddenly floods her. She begins to wonder why he even started asking questions about the guard.

"How do you like the cake?" Cage shifts the conversation a different direction and Selia is forced to leave her strange suspicion behind.

"It's great, thank you so much for bringing me some!"

The president's son had surprisingly showed up at her door with a slice of chocolate cake like what her friends talked about earlier today.

"How'd you know I wanted some?"

"Well, I noticed how much your friends seemed to enjoy it at dinner," he says. "…And I may have overheard them planning to sneak you some later. I thought this would end better _and_ I would get to talk to you again."

His smile changes to something less disconcerting, but it makes her heart flutter nervously. Of course, she immediately thinks of Bellamy and that makes her heart sink. She quickly forces a smile to keep him from noticing, though.

"I don't know why, I'm not very interesting, but I appreciate it a lot."

"I find you very interesting, Selia."

The young guard's cheeks heat up and she looks away from him. She stabs at the chocolate frosting on the remainder of her dessert with her fork as she waits for her blush to fade.

Cage chuckles at her awkwardness but offers an escape. "I hope I can continue to get to know you, Miss Kane, but unfortunately I have some work to do."

Selia looks up as he stands and buttons his suit jacket. She gives him a kind and slightly relieved smile. She enjoyed talking to him for the most part, but the fluttery feeling in her belly and the warmth on her cheeks reminds her of being with someone else. She's desperate to be reunited with Bellamy, for his words to make her blush and make her heart skip beats. All the sadness she's trying to hide nearly overwhelms her, but Cage doesn't seem to notice.

"Have a good evening, Selia," he says.

"You too and thank you so much for the cake again."

"You're very welcome. Perhaps I'll bring you a different dessert tomorrow."

With those parting words, Cage leaves Selia in her hospital room, feeling more unsettled than anything else.

…

"Where's Clarke?" Selia questions for the fifth time as Dr. Tsing writes something on her clipboard.

"I haven't seen her," the doctor answers. "Maybe she's at breakfast."

"She said she wanted to come while I got the treatment."

"Maybe she forgot."

"No, Clarke wouldn't forget," she argues.

Dr. Tsing finally looks up from the board and smiles at Selia, but she can see the impatience in the woman's dark eyes. "She could have slept in or she probably just lost track of time. I wouldn't worry about it, Selia. For now, we need to get you into treatment."

"I want to wait."

"We can't wait," Dr. Tsing sighs. "Clarke can come to the next treatment."

Selia frowns in concern for Clarke, but she relents in the argument. She remains silent as they work around her, preparing the I.V. and heart monitor to be moved with her. They soon finish and her bed is suddenly mobile. Selia is taken to a different room in the hospital wing that is the same pristine white, but it holds a strange machine that's twice the size of the monitor tracking her heartbeat. Next to it is a table with several syringes containing a blue-tinted liquid. The size of the needles makes Selia's stomach flop even though shots have never scared her in the past. Maybe it's what's inside them that scares her more because she can only think of the chemotherapy injections her mom received and the bitter effects of that drug.

Clarke wanted to come to see what the treatment consisted of since she doesn't trust anyone in Mount Weather. Selia realizes, however, that she wanted the younger girl to be here more so she didn't have to face whatever is coming alone. She feels herself transform into a child and wishes that her father was here to hold her hand while she gets this treatment.

"Okay, Selia, we're going to put the bed down flat," Dr. Tsing advises before she feels it moving. "You're familiar with chemotherapy, right?"

"Yes," the young guard murmurs in reply.

"Chemotherapy, while sometimes very effective, seems barbaric in comparison to our treatment. It attacks cells that divide quickly but doesn't differentiate between the healthy and unhealthy ones. This treatment knows the difference."

Selia thinks of her mother lying in the hospital bed like she is now. When Laney first began chemo, they told the little girl that it was to make her mom better, but she quickly learned that it only made her worse. At least, to the child who was forced to watch her mother wither away, it looked like it was worse. She remembers questioning it when Laney was puking and losing her hair. She remembers the way her father struggled to assure her that it was all for the best because even he was uncertain on the bad days.

"It's designed to find the mutations throughout your entire body, including where blood is being made. We'll inject you with the medicine in five different places and then this machine will send electrical impulses through your body and cause all the medicine to travel as fast as the cancer and decimate the mutations."

Selia eyes the machine warily, noting all the wires coming out of it.

"It doesn't hurt at all," Dr. Tsing assures. "You'll just feel vibrations."

The nurses begin to attach electrodes to Selia's body. One at the base of her skull, two on either side of her neck, two on her chest, two on either of her sides, two on her hips, and one on each calf. She's beyond confused, skeptic that any of these can help the disease running rampant inside her. Just as she goes to ask for more of an explanation, Dr. Tsing picks up one of the syringes. The words die on her tongue as she stares wide-eyed at the next step.

"Don't worry, Selia," the woman says gently. "Don't forget this is your second treatment."

"I wasn't awake the last time," she mumbles in reply.

"Trust me, once it begins you will realize that there is nothing to be afraid of," Dr. Tsing promises. "Are you ready?"

A wave of panic falls over her suddenly and her rapid heart echoes in the hospital room. She grows paranoid that perhaps the blue liquid isn't medicine, but poison instead. An illogical voice whispers that they might be trying to hurt her rather than save her, but she shuts it down as quickly as it came. She pushes all her fear away because she's tired of being scared. She ignores any doubts and gives a firm nod for Dr. Tsing to begin.

The first injection hurts the most as the thick needle goes into her carotid artery. Selia is determined to not let it show, however, so she grits her teeth and takes the sharp pain. The second injection goes into the soft spot in the back of her skull right below where the electrode has been placed. The third is injected into her right hip, the fourth in her left femoral artery, and the fifth is put into her left side. Dr. Tsing praises the young guard when it's finished and then turns on the machine.

The doctor was right, the electricity running through her body causes no extra pain. Waves of vibrations shudder through her, making her jitter in the bed. It just feels like someone is shaking her to mix up all the medicine inside her. Selia closes her eyes as it begins to make the lights twist and the dizziness makes her nauseous. The young guard isn't sure how much time passes, but soon she feels the exhaustion creep up around her and everything fades as she slips unconscious.

…

"Wake up," a familiar voice urges.

Selia grumbles while keeping her eyes closed, too tired to get up yet. A finger pokes her in the temple and she tries to bat it away.

"Wake up!" The voice snaps right in her ear.

"What?" Selia growls as she forces her eyes open a crack.

The face she sees through her blurry eyes startles her enough to fly into a sitting position. She moves so fast that her head wobbles painfully. She blinks hard to clear up her fuzzy vision, but the person standing beside her bed, looking rather unimpressed, is exactly who she thought.

"R-Raven?" Sel gasps.

"I cannot believe that you're just sleeping," is her best friend's only response.

The young guard glances around the room to figure out her surroundings. Her head feels like she's underwater, her body aches, and her memory wanes. It takes several sweeps of the room before she remembers that she's in Mount Weather and back in her own hospital room. As where she is clears up, so does her situation and now she looks more wide-eyed at Raven Reyes.

"Are you…are you dead?"

"If you're asking if I'm a ghost, the answer is no," Raven replies as she rolls her eyes.

"I don't understand what's going on," Selia mumbles in confusion.

"Neither do I!" Raven returns. "What the hell are you doing just lying in bed?"

"I – I was getting treatment."

"I don't mean just right now," she huffs. "You haven't done a damn thing to figure out what's happening. You're just real comfortable in this nice room, huh?"

"What am I supposed to be doing?" Selia demands, feeling the frustration build from Raven's attitude.

"Sel, where's your brain? Do you really just believe everything these people have told you? I've never seen you just accept things without question, but _this_ is what you do."

"What are you talking about?"

"You woke up in a strange place with plenty of injuries and no memories and the first story you hear to explain it is just automatically the one you believe."

"I –"

"No! You are too smart to be fooled by these people, Kane. You're turning a blind eye on their suspiciousness just because they have a cure for you."

"What am I supposed to do? They are saving me and they're protecting everyone else!"

"They are? _Everyone_?"

The reminder cuts deep and suddenly Selia's vision seems to clear.

"None of it makes sense, Sel," Raven says gently. "Stop letting them fill in the blanks for you. Figure it out yourself, Kane."

…

"Do you know where Clarke is?" Selia asks when Cage sits in the chair at her bedside. He's brought her a different dessert today, red velvet cake he called it.

The young guard has no appetite, however. One, because the treatment she endured has left her feeling endlessly dizzy and she isn't going to put food in her stomach when it feels like it's turning in circles. Two, because she's felt the heavy weight of stress since her hallucinated conversation with Raven and the continued absence of Clarke. None of the nurses or Dr. Tsing have offered any more information than when she asked this morning and even Monty and the others haven't seen her. She's starting to freak out and being trapped in this room isn't helping.

"I do not," he answers, but Selia peers at him in disbelief.

"I haven't seen her since yesterday," she tells him. "She was supposed to go with me today for my treatment. Clarke would never blow me off."

"I'm sorry, Selia. Maybe –"

"No," she cuts him off firmly. She pushes the roll-up table with her untouched cake away and starts to climb out of bed.

"What – what are you doing?" Cage questions in surprise.

"I'm going to look for her," Selia answers. "And if I can't find her, then I'm going to speak with your dad."

Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, Selia doesn't give it any thought as her feet touch the cool tile. She stands up like normal, forgetting the fact that she's been dizzy all day without even getting out of bed. Once she's upright, the room practically flips over in her eyes. As quick as she's on her feet, she's falling over, the air feeling like it's rushing around her like wind. Cage is quick to save her from a hard impact with the floor. She wants to push him away immediately, both frustrated with her own weakness and uncomfortable in his arms, but she ends up gripping him tightly as she desperately tries to regain balance in her own mind.

"Are you okay?" His low voice is right next to her ear and a shiver runs down her spine.

Her first thought is that this feels wrong. Maybe that's why she's been single all these years because it always felt wrong with any other boy. She dismisses those thoughts, knowing it's irrelevant and ridiculous now. Loosening her grip on Cage's arms, she slowly tries to take over holding her own body weight.

"Yeah," she mutters with a quiet exhale. "Thank you."

He doesn't release her until she assures him a second time that she's fine. As soon as he does, her hand flies to the needle in her arm, ready to yank it out without consequence. Seeing her plan, Cage's hand wraps around her wrist.

"Don't do that," he orders.

"I'm not dragging this stupid thing around. I don't even need it anymore."

Before the cancer, Selia could have easily escaped Cage's grasp, but now it's as if she has no muscles at all.

"I need to find Clarke," she insists with a huff. "Let go."

"You're not going to find her," he sighs.

"What do you mean?" Selia demands, her voice lowering to something with a dangerous edge.

"My father wanted to wait to tell you because he hoped there would be a better answer, but unfortunately, I don't think that's going to happen."

"What the hell are you talking about, Cage? Where is Clarke?"

…

The story was ludicrous and Selia did not believe a word of it. Cage told her that Clarke had a meltdown and pulled out the stitches in her arm. Dr. Tsing re-stitched it and left her in the sickroom, but when she returned, Clarke had disappeared. She somehow managed to get out of Mount Weather and when they tried to bring her back, she endangered and nearly killed several of their men. For the safety of everyone inside the mountain, the president could not allow them to continue pursuing her. Cage assured Selia that she would be allowed to come back, but they just couldn't risk anyone going to look for her.

Selia thought it was a load of crap. Clarke wouldn't have a meltdown and pull out her own stitches. She also wouldn't just leave Mount Weather without telling Selia what was happening or, at the very least, say goodbye. She definitely wouldn't endanger anyone for no reason other than to leave. Something else happened, something bad. That's the only way Clarke would have left. Fear has enveloped Selia as she can only imagine the severity of the circumstances after Clarke promised she would stay out of trouble until the guard was no longer bed-ridden.

She's not wasting any more time waiting to figure out the whole situation. A while after Cage leaves her and she's certain that everyone believes she's asleep, Selia figures out how to turn the heart monitor off before pulling the wires off her chest. Very carefully, she removes the I.V. from her arm, determined to figure out how to reinsert it later. She moves slow, but it's necessary if she wants to stay on her feet and not get caught. Eventually, she makes it out of the hospital room, shutting the door with a soft click, and coming face to face with her friend.

"It's about damn time, Sel." Raven shakes her head in exasperation. "Let's go."

"Where are we going?" Selia whispers.

"To the sickroom. That's the last place Clarke was supposedly seen before she _escaped_."

"Why are you saying it like that?"

"Because that's what she did, Kane. Clarke escaped this sketchy place."

"She was in danger, Raven. That's the only reason she would have left like this."

"We're all in danger, Selia, which is why you need to figure out what Clarke did."

Selia nods in agreement and silently follows her hallucination – though her mind struggles to understand that Raven is in fact just a hallucination. They sneak around the empty hallways, pausing at every corner to listen for any voices. They make it to the sickroom easily enough, met with a seemingly empty hospital wing. When they arrive in the room filled with a line of beds, they only find a single patient.

Selia peers closely at the man in the bed until she's certain that he's fast asleep. Breathing a sigh of relief, she turns to Raven.

"What now?"

Raven's expression turns to one of bewilderment. "You're the guard. You should know how to investigate."

"Right," Selia mumbles. "I feel like I've lost all my senses."

The young guard searches through the room for any sign that Clarke was there but comes up empty. She finds a binder, but a quick skim shows that it's nothing of value. She even stares at the random patient for a long time, hoping that he may hold some answers. Frustrated by her failing investigation and her lack of mind to know what to do next, she feels hot tears forming in her eyes.

Selia's brain feels like mush. It's like there's so much going on it that it has just become a relentless buzzing. Putting the ever-present pain aside that comes with her illness, the mental side effects of the treatment are destroying her faculties. She's well-aware that it's only temporary and that it could be a thousand times worse, but everything piles on top of her until she can't breathe anymore. The last true member of her family has now joined the others in absence and she can't think straight long enough to find her.

Raven suddenly clears her throat, forcing Selia to glance up at her. "I know this is hard, Sel, but what about this?"

She swears that the door appears behind Raven magically because she didn't notice it until now.

"Seriously," she mutters.

She approaches the door warily, running her hand over the thick, aged metal. Something pulls at the back of her mind, like the door is familiar in some way, but she hasn't come across any like this in Mount Weather. Pushing that thought away, she grasps the rough bar and throws all her strength in trying to open it, but it doesn't budge. Her hands and biceps instantly burn as she resists the urge to growl in irritation.

"To be fair, you're not Superman."

"You're not helping, Raven."

"It's hard to help when you're not really here."

Selia turns a glare on her hallucination, but something above Raven catches her eye.

"Hmm," Raven hums in approval. "Good idea, Kane, but do you think you're strong enough to climb up there?"

"I know I am," she quips.

…

"So, you were technically right," Raven calls up as Selia collapses inside the small vent.

"I…know…" she replies between heavy breaths.

Selia keeps her head down for a minute to stop the dizziness and settle the nausea flipping her stomach. The muscles in her arms feel like they've melted, they're heavy like bags of liquid. Her entire form throbs and she could fall asleep right there if she wanted. Her eyes flutter closed, ready to give in to the exhaustion, when she hears Raven's voice again.

"You have to climb down now, Sel. We're not done."

"Right," she sighs.

Struggling to her elbows, she forces the other side of the vent off, catching it before it clatters to the ground. Laying it down gently, she crawls through the opening and comes to a dark place with a strange glow illuminating it. As she climbs to her feet, she glances around the concrete walls only to be met with a waking nightmare. Her entire body freezes in horror as she finds Mount Weather's unimaginable secret. She doesn't realize that she stops breathing until her lungs burn like fire, begging for air.

Two bodies hang upside down like animals in the butcheries she read about in school. There are tubes connecting them to a machine and as she stumbles closer, she sees that it's taking their blood.

"What the hell is this?" Selia whispers as bile rises in the back of her throat.

That same pulling feeling tries to break her memory free, but nothing comes to mind. Turning back to look for her hallucination of Raven, she finds her eyes widening at the sight. The room stretches farther than she expected and it's completely filled with cages. Worse, every cage is filled with a person.

"Nothing?" Raven questions.

"What?" Selia glances at her reappearance in confusion. "This is sick!"

"You don't remember anything?"

"What would I have to remember?"

Raven shrugs, turning away from her and walking towards the cages. Selia hesitates, but slowly follows her friend while moans of pain echo around them from the prisoners. She stops in the middle of two sets of cages as the people reach for her, wordlessly begging for her help, and tears fill her eyes. She wants to scream for help, to release everyone, to demand answers from the president, but she realizes this is what they were hiding that made her and Clarke so suspicious.

This is what Clarke found and now Selia is certain that she was forced to run after the discovery.

"Well, if it isn't Selia Kane," a gravelly voice, weak from his condition, calls out her name.

The young guard spins around to see a short-bearded man with long hair, watching her through narrowed eyes. She steps closer, desperately trying to place his face, when it suddenly hits her. Like a dam breaking, things that happened after she left camp in search of Clarke floods over her, filling the spaces her loss of memory left. Staring wide-eyed at the man, his name floats into her mind.

"Roan?"

* * *

Hello!

I think this is one of the longest chapters I've written for this story, but I'm not really sure why it ended up so long. The word count was way more than usual.

So, I know the cancer treatment is weird. My medical knowledge is next to nothing and I know that it doesn't really make sense, but the way the treatment works is going to be really significant later in the story.

What did you think about her hallucination of Raven? It was fun writing it, but did you like it? Also, just to clarify, I kind of want it to be confusing because Selia is confused. Part of her knows she's just seeing things and the other part thinks it's real because her head is all messed up from the treatment.

She found Roan and remembers him! Things are going to be a lot more active in Mount Weather now!

What do you think? Please review and let me know! Hearing your thoughts is very helpful and encouraging!

Thank you for reading, favoriting, and following. Special thanks to my awesome reviewers!

Hope to hear from you,

\- V :)


	18. Chapter 18

"Roan?" The stranger's name forms on Selia's tongue before she has time to think of it.

Memories of him abducting her, fighting with him, and being dragged around as his prisoner come to mind. He doesn't look as scary now that his face is cleaned of paint and he isn't wearing the mask. It's unsettling, however, to see the Grounder in such a weakened state that he's cramped into a cage with nothing but white gauze wrapped around his lower half as underwear. Strangely enough, it would be more comforting to see him wielding his sword.

"I figured you would be dead," he replies, his gruff tone bringing their past conversations to mind.

"W-what happened to you? What's going on?"

"Harvesting," he spits the term.

Suddenly, the tunnel comes back to mind. She was forced to her knees beside Roan and the woman in the hazmat suit, Dr. Tsing, was there to seal their fate. Selia didn't understand what she meant by harvesting, but all she could think was that they were going to steal their organs. Glancing back at the bodies hung by the ankles, she realizes that it's blood being harvested.

 _But what the hell are they doing with the blood?_

She looks around at the other cages in disgust. "How many are there?"

"Focus, Sel," Raven advises. Selia's head turns sharply to see her hallucination is still with her and clear as day, but it's somehow easier for her to comprehend that she isn't real.

"Right," she mumbles as she turns back to Roan. "I'm going to get you out of here."

Selia examines the lock before looking around for something to use as a tool for leverage. Her eyes veer to the vent and she spins back to the Grounder staring at her closely through the bars of his cage.

"Did you see a blonde girl? Did she come in here?"

Roan sighs, probably because Selia has made no move to help him yet, but he nods. "She came in the same way you did."

"She did?" Hope wells in Selia's chest until she realizes that knowing she came in here doesn't bring her any closer to Clarke. It just brings her closer to what made Clarke leave.

"She knew someone, Anya, a leader from Trikru."

"Anya… Yeah, we tried to have a meeting with her, but it didn't end well…"

"Well enough," Roan counters. "She broke her out and they left."

"How?"

"Get me out of this cage and I'll show you."

"Do you really trust him?" Raven questions from behind her.

Without thinking, Selia shrugs in response. "I remember him."

"What?" Roan asks in confusion.

" _Great_ ," Raven scoffs.

"Nothing," Selia answers him and ignores her. "Let me find something to get you out."

"Your friend pulled something off the wall over there," he tells her. "Some pole or something."

Selia looks towards where Roan is pointing, quickly finding the spot where Clarke found the pole. It was an electrical covering and the frayed wires stick out where the younger girl must have ripped it off the wall. There's a second one still attached to the wall, but she hesitates in taking it.

"You need to save your strength, Sel," Raven warns. She's right, of course. Selia's arms feel like giant, aching weights. She might be able to pull the pole off the wall, but she doubts she'll be successful in breaking the lock. "You need to pick it."

"With what?" Selia asks quietly.

Her hallucination doesn't answer, but the guard goes searching the area around the hanging bodies for some tools. She finds a case filled with blood bags and quickly slams its door shut in disgust. All she manages to find are some syringes and a scalpel, so she takes two of the needles and hopes they will work. Returning to Roan's cage, she shoves the needles into the lock and carefully manipulates them to open it.

"Is that even going to work?" He demands.

"Shush," she says as she listens to the mechanism inside of the lock. Moments later, it pops open and she gives Roan a rather smug smile. "As a matter of fact, yeah."

She unlatches the cage door and Roan hurries to climb out of it. Selia's warning to be careful doesn't make it out before he sways on his feet. He stumbles into her and her thin body struggles to support his weight. One of Selia's hands grabs hold of his bicep and the other pushes against his chest to help him balance. Roan's hand latches onto the cage he just got out of while the young guard gives him a sympathetic look. She can more than relate to the dizziness and _wobbliness_ of unused legs right now.

"Been cramped up in there…" he mumbles awkwardly.

Sel bites back an amused smile, "I didn't say anything."

Roan turns a glare on her before his eyes glance down at the precarious position of her hand. She snatches it back, looking away as she blushes. She expects Raven to be there with an arched brow, but her hallucinated friend is nowhere in sight. Disappointment droops her shoulders while her brain becomes frustrated with her for missing someone who wasn't there in the first place.

"Which way did Clarke go?" Selia asks, turning back to Roan, and being careful not to look at his mostly naked form.

"This way."

Roan brushes past her rudely and moves to a door that reads 'End Containment Area.' He throws the door open but hesitates to go through it. Selia peeks around him to see a small, brick-walled room. She notes the large vent with a fan barely moving on the other side and the strange-looking hatch on the ground. As the guard is working to figure out the purpose of this room, Roan takes a tentative step forward.

"She never came out of here," he tells her, his tone laced with the same confusion she feels.

Selia's eyes widen in sudden understanding and she grabs Roan's hand to yank him back. She lets the door slam closed while he turns an irritated look at her.

"That's not for people," she explains. "At least not _living_ people."

"Your friend went in there," he says.

"Yeah, but I don't know where it goes. All I know is that she nearly got caught and had to fight her way out."

"How do you know?"

"Because I got half the truth from the president's son here."

Roan gives her a blank look and Selia sighs in response.

"Look, I don't know where it goes, and we can't just jump through the damn floor. Clarke had to run, but I can't. My people are still here, and I can't protect them from out there. I don't even know how long I'll live if I leave the treatment they're giving me."

"That sounds like your problem," he quips.

"They'll catch you," Selia says as he reaches for the door again. "They'll catch you and they'll kill you without a second thought."

"I won't get caught. The only reason I did the first time was because of you."

"You abducted me!" Selia snaps. Roan arches a brow at her tone, so she forces herself to take a calming breath. "I'm sorry that this happened. I never could have imagined any of this…I just wanted to get back to my friends."

"I know," he mutters as he's suddenly victim to her earnest expression. "Thanks for getting me out of that cage, but I'm leaving."

"Roan, please," she begs. "I'm not saying this for my benefit. They weren't chasing Clarke just so they could bring her back to live a peaceful life. They wanted to protect their secret. And look around you. My people are considered guests here, yours are blood bags, so imagine what they'll do to you. I don't know how she got away and until I do, you should stay here."

"In that cage so they can hang me upside down again?" he spits. That's when Selia notices the blood-stained gauze wrapped around his wrists and covering parts of his chest.

Guilt eats at Selia's heart from realizing that she's the reason he was taken by the Reapers, and remembering that she just abandoned him in the mine.

"You don't owe him anything, Sel," Raven's voice floats in her head, but she doesn't reappear. "He didn't care about your life when he took you."

 _But that's not me_ , Selia argues silently.

"No, we'll hide you…" Her eyes drift to the vent she climbed through. It was easy enough to remove and based on the map she was shown and what Cage told her about the set-up of Mount Weather, they run everywhere. "We'll hide you in the vents for now until we come up with something better."

Selia moves to the open vent she came through earlier, bracing herself for another short climb. However, she stops short when she realizes that Roan has made no move to follow her.

"Why should I listen to you? Why shouldn't I just ignore you and leave? You won't say anything to them because it will put you in danger." Roan stares at her with hardened eyes while Selia frowns.

"Let him go," Raven says, appearing once more behind him. "Let him fall through that hole and forget about it. You got him out of the cage, that's more than making up for what you _think_ you did wrong."

She heaves a sigh. Her knees wobble as a wave of exhaustion crashes over her and she feels the beginning of a headache piercing her brain. She assumed this terrible discovery would keep her awake for the rest of the time she spent in Mount Weather, but her cancer begs to differ. Part of her just wants to collapse and deal with this in the morning, but she knows that's not an option.

"Look, I don't know what the hell is going on here. All I know is anyone who can use and discard human beings like this are not only horrible, but unbelievably dangerous. Obviously, your people have always been in danger, but now it's like my people are living with a sleeping giant. I don't know how long it is before they turn on us, especially now that Clarke knows their secret."

Raven nods, encouraging Selia to continue.

"I'm a guard, my job is to protect my people, and I'm not going to let my illness or my fear get in the way. I will do anything to save the kids inside this mountain," she tells him, her voice thick with emotion. "But war or not, anyone with any decency couldn't turn their back on this. I'm going to figure out how to help everyone in here…somehow. But you can leave, Roan. I got you out of that cage, so I think we're even. Do whatever you want."

Selia finishes by spinning on her heel and moving back to the vent. She would be much more impressed with herself if she wasn't so embarrassingly weak. She tries to pull herself up into the vent, refusing to listen to Roan leaving through the same door Clarke used because she's too busy using her nonexistent muscles. Just when her frustration starts to bring tears to her eyes, she feels two large hands on either side of her waist that pull her back to the ground from the short distance up that she's managed.

Roan turns her around to face him and she's startled to see how close he's standing, towering over her with his harsh stare.

"What's your plan?" He questions with a sigh, rubbing his forearm in frustration.

Selia peeks over his shoulder at Raven. "Don't look at me," she warns.

The young guard sighs, "I don't have one yet."

"You better figure one out soon, kid, or I'm gone."

A relieved smile spreads over her face which earns a strange look from him in return, but her expression doesn't waver. She's going to need help, especially now that Clarke is gone, and bringing the kids into it makes her stomach twist. They think they're safe and there's nothing to worry about and Selia doesn't want to shatter that until she figures out what to do. And more than that, she feels guilty. She understands that Roan took her from her friends and fully intended to use her as a way back into his home and didn't care if she was tortured or killed. As her hallucination said, she does not owe him anything. But it's her fault he's here. She shouted to bring the Reapers after him and he came back to try to save her. So, letting him go when she's certain he won't fair as well as Clarke is unacceptable.

"I will," she promises.

Roan nods as he rubs his arm more forcefully. He glances around them, spotting the tray where Selia found the scalpel. When he grabs it, her heart stutters in fear that he's just going to turn on her. That feeling is quickly erased when she sees him take the blade to his arm. The young guard's hand flies up to snatch the knife away.

"What the hell are you doing?" She hisses.

"They stuck me with something," he returns. "I don't know when, but when I woke up in this place there was a lump. It's annoying."

Selia grabs his arm and runs her thumb over his skin. She comes across the bump easily, immediately knowing what it is and why it's there.

"It's a tracker," she mutters. "We need to get it out or they will figure out you're gone."

She takes the roll of gauze that rests on the same table where he found the scalpel. Shoving it into his opposite hand, she warns him of the coming pain, receiving a scoff in return. Selia rolls her eyes and steels herself to cut into his skin. She'll give him credit, Roan doesn't even flinch as she draws a deep line on his forearm. Blood immediately gushes from it, but she sticks her finger into the open wound to find the tracker. Roan stiffens this time but shows no other sign of being in pain.

Selia pulls the small device from his skin and holds it up in the dim light.

"Definitely a tracker."

Silently, she bandages Roan's arm before he can lose too much blood. She wipes her hands, the scalpel, and the tracker on her gown to clean them off so she can return them to their rightful place. She sticks the device in the empty cage and replaces the lock.

"Okay, come on," Selia says.

She moves back to the vent, ready for another battle of climbing through it. Roan just observes her as she struggles with growing weakness. He startles her again when his hands return to her waist, but he simply lifts her into the vent as if she was light as a feather. Blood floods her cheeks as shame brings tears to her eyes. She's tired of needing help with things that should be easy, but she shoves her emotions down deep.

"Thank you."

Once he's cramped inside the vent, his body awkwardly folding to fit, Selia secures the cover she removed earlier. She peeks out the opposite end and sees the same person still fast asleep in the line of beds. She sighs in relief at the otherwise empty sickroom and looks towards Roan.

"They gave me a map of the mountain. It obviously doesn't give us all the details we're looking for, but it does show a basic outline of the vent system. And Cage and I have already talked a little bit about how Mount Weather runs, so I know I can get more information."

"Okay, what do we do now?"

Selia frowns apologetically, "I have to get back to my room before the nurse comes to check on me. I'll study the map and get a plan going, but I have to leave you here."

"Here?" He half-growls. "Might as well have left me in the cage."

"No, here you won't be hung upside down and drained of blood," she argues. "I'm sorry, I know it sucks, but I have nowhere else to hide you. There are cameras, they can see what we're doing so we can't just walk around. And people are in and out of my room all day. We'll figure out something better later, but for now I need you to stay here."

Roan glares at her with unrestrained disdain. "Fine," he spits.

"Promise me."

"What?"

"Promise me that you will stay here until I come back," she orders. "You cannot leave, you can't make a sound, you can't jump out and attack someone. You must stay hidden, Roan. Please promise me."

He sighs heavily as if she's asking for the whole world, but begrudgingly nods. "Fine, I promise."

"Thank you," she says with a small smile. "We're going to get out of here with our people. I know it."

She pushes the other side of the vent open and climbs through. She looks up at Roan crouched in the vent and tries to smile encouragingly. He, of course, does not return the expression.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," she promises. "I'll bring food."

Roan nods and then they seal the vent again.

…

Selia drifts back into consciousness because she feels strong fingers gently massaging her head. Peering through tired eyes, she finds a face she has always loved waking up to and is instantly comforted. She nestles deeper into bed, expecting to find herself pressed against his chest like normal, but all she feels is the cold edge of the bed and a piercing pain in her arm. The fingers suddenly lift from her head and she opens her eyes fully in disappointment, pouting at the man smiling down at her.

The stark, white wall is what alerts Selia to this strange situation. Like a switch flipping, she realizes that she's in Mount Weather and staring into Bellamy's brown eyes. She sits up too fast which causes the piercing in her arm to burn and her head to spin. Risking a glance away from him, she sees the needle of her I.V. digging into her vein and the purple bruise swelling the skin around it. After she found a new gown and got rid of the bloody one, she struggled to reinsert the I.V. until she finally became so aggravated that she stabbed the needle into her skin and passed out from exhaustion. Now, her arm throbs, but the pain is quickly forgotten when Bellamy speaks.

"You didn't get very much sleep, Sel. You need the rest."

"You're…you're here…"

Bellamy smiles as he sits on the edge of her bed. Tears sting the corners of her eyes just from the sight of his face. He reaches out to cover her hand with his own, letting his warmth sink into her skin. She exhales a shaky breath, resisting the urge to fling herself at him.

"How?" She can only manage the one word.

"I was looking for you, but then Murphy…" He shakes his head in disgust. "Why would you leave, Selia?"

"I – I had to find Clarke," she hurries to explain. "I didn't want anyone else in more danger and I couldn't just accept that she was gone."

"But now you're gone."

"W-what?"

Bellamy frowns, pulling his hand away. "I wish you'd come back."

"Wait," Selia's voice is a pleading whisper laced with heartbreak. "This is real. It has to be."

He doesn't answer, causing the tears welling up to trickle down her cheeks. Bellamy is right there, clear as day. She can feel his weight on her bed, her head still tingles from his fingers touching her, and his voice seems loud in the otherwise silent hospital room. It seems completely real, but the truth makes her head pound. It's just another hallucination.

"I need you to be here," she cries softly.

"Why?" he asks.

"I can't do this on my own."

"You're not, Sel. You've seen what the hundred are capable of, they're not just kids anymore."

"It's dangerous," she says.

"They know danger better than most," he reminds her.

"It's not just that, Bell." Even knowing it's a hallucination, she can't dispel him.

"I know," he murmurs. Bellamy reaches over to stroke her cheek. The realistic feel is exactly why she struggles to recognize reality. "I'm looking for you."

"You are?"

"Sel," he exhales. "I'm just in your mind. I can only tell you what you already know."

* * *

Hi!

I'm so sorry for the delay! This chapter was originally much longer, but as I was editing, I decided to just cut out a chunk and include that in the next chapter.

So, she got Roan out and now she needs to come up with a plan! Also, I really wanted her first hallucinated conversation with Bellamy to be emotional, but I'm not sure if it came out that way. What did you think?

There's going to be another Marcus POV in the next chapter for sure and I'm thinking there will be a Bellamy POV, but we'll see how it goes!

Please review and let me know what you think! I love your feedback so much!

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following! Special thanks to my amazing reviewers!

Hope to hear from you,

\- V :)


	19. Chapter 19

Marcus is certain that he has lost his mind since hearing the news about Selia. The grief he experienced with Laney had been unimaginably hard, but it's a thousand times worse with his daughter. He's been trapped in a dangerous cycle of devastation and pure fury. He's angry with everyone and everything. It's clouding his judgment, causing him to make drastic and horrible decisions, and overall be a man that his sweet child would never recognize.

After Bellamy managed to escape camp armed and with his friends, he was torn. His hatred for the boy was not aided by him sharing Selia's condition. Part of him has even found a way to twist it into being Blake's fault, though the rational part of Marcus knows that's ridiculous. In the boy's absence, his anger quickly turned full force on Abby. He was instantly pissed at the doctor for knowing of Sel's cancer this whole time and never saying a word. He didn't give a damn if Selia was legally an adult and Abby was bound by doctor-patient confidentiality. That was his little girl and she should have told him what was happening.

He really didn't need to question Abby because he knew immediately that she was one of the people responsible for Bellamy and his friends escaping with guns. He understood why she did it and perhaps if he could have the confidence that his daughter was out there with Clarke, then he would have been more forgiving. Of course, the shock lashing hadn't been his idea. It wasn't even a thought in his mind until Major Byrnes insisted on it. However, it would be a lie if he said that his anger and jealousy didn't play a huge part in his final decision.

Why did Abby get the hope of her daughter being out there, waiting to be found? Why did these other children get be out there as prisoners waiting for a rescue? Rescued or not, his daughter's life was over – if she was even still alive. He was angry and jealous that his daughter, the most amazing person he ever knew to exist, was gone while the same couldn't be said for Abby's. Her daughter has a chance while his daughter has a curse.

It wasn't until Abby was tied to the post and being shocked that the anger melted away. He was unable to stop the punishment that he started, but he instantly regretted it. Abby didn't deserve it and Selia would have been horrified. If she ever knew, he wasn't sure if she would forgive him. That's when he realized how unstable he was without his daughter around. Without the hope that they would be reunited, Marcus wasn't sure if he would survive.

Then, they brought the Grounder in as a prisoner. At some point during the failing interrogation, it finally occurred to him that his anger would get him nowhere. It would only disappoint his daughter if she was there and harm his people more. He needed a better plan – they all did. If Selia was here, that's what she would tell him.

That is why Marcus is hiking through the trees with the Grounder prisoner and two guards. He's going to figure out a way to stop the killing and protect everyone.

When they stop for a short break, Marcus decides it's as good a place as any to plant the Eden Tree. He believed that he would do this with Selia, that she would heal the pain in his heart from losing Vera, so her absence brings tears to his eyes.

"Until our final journey to the ground," he whispers.

They continue their trip to the Grounder's camp and finally reach what Marcus believes to be the barrier after night falls. There the prisoner gives him a pointed look, so he drops his weapon without hesitation.

"Sir," Evan speaks up for the first time since they left their own camp. "This is a bad idea."

Marcus looks back at the young man he has watched grow up with his daughter. The pair had been inseparable since they were toddlers. They did everything together, even join the Guard. Evan has always been there for Selia, protecting her, supporting her, so he's always had a place in the Kane family. Marcus didn't expect the shattered pieces of his heart to break more when he was forced to tell the young guard of Selia's condition, but they did. The boy was devastated and has been silent and somber since.

Marcus smiles sadly, "This is as far as you go."

"Sir?" Evan questions in confusion.

"If I'm wrong about this, only one of us has to die," he explains.

Evan shakes his head. "Why are you doing this?"

Selia and her best friend had been two of the youngest to ever graduate into the Guard and they were two of the best. The youngest member of the Kane family was the top guard, far exceeding everyone else. The only thing that Evan was better at when it came to the job was controlling his emotions. Selia was ruled by her heart just as Laney had been, but Evan was able to separate work and feelings. However, the boy's hazel eyes are filled with unshed tears he has been fighting since learning Sel was basically gone. The pain is bright, glowing even in the black of night.

Bellamy Blake's words come to mind and Marcus grips Evan's shoulder tightly. "I'm doing what Selia would do."

Everyone has refused to say the words aloud, but they all know the truth. Selia isn't out there dying, she is already dead. The truth is in their agony, so any argument of the danger this plan holds and the possibility of Selia returning dies on Evan's tongue. Selia isn't coming back and there is no other reason for Marcus Kane to be cautious in any way.

"I'll go with you," Evan insists. He doesn't feel any need to be cautious either.

"No, you go back and do your job. Protect our people." Selia would never forgive him if he endangered her best friend.

"Sir, please," the young guard pleads.

"We can both make her proud, Evan. So, go home," he says firmly. "That's an order."

After a moment of silent arguing, Evan finally nods and leaves with Denby. Marcus turns back to the Grounder and breathes deeply.

 _I will make you proud, Selly._

…

There is no one in the sickroom when Selia arrives with her hands full of the folded gown she found, leftover food hidden in a napkin, and the map she's been studying since she left this room last night. The day seemed endless in her hospital room imprisonment as she worried about Roan. Did he get caught? Did he stay where she left him in the vent or try to leave? Is he really trustworthy enough to believe that he'll help her? The questions swirl through her mind as time ticks by agonizingly slow.

When she's finally certain that it's safe to sneak out, she's relieved. Her plan is less than solid, but it's all she has for the time being. She and Roan will need to get their bearings inside the vents and find whatever else Mount Weather is hiding before they can do anything substantial. So, the sooner they do that, the sooner they can help their people.

Selia comes to the vent from the night before and moves to set her things down so she can open it, but it pops open without her help. Roan's head peeks out of the opening, a scowl set firmly on his face. She offers a weak smile in apology, knowing he probably didn't expect to have to wait so long. His irritation remains clear as he takes the things she holds up for him to grab. She goes to climb up on her own, but Roan offers his hand before she begins her struggle.

She exhales in relief since he saves her from the embarrassment of her failure. She lets Roan lift her with ease and his expression softens when he sees her grateful smile.

"Took you long enough," he grumbles as he replaces the vent.

Selia curls her legs up to fit more comfortably and grabs the items she brought with her. Ignoring his comment, she unwraps the food she managed to hide and hands it to Roan as a peace offering.

"It's not much, but the kitchen is on the map. Maybe we can try to get in there and get you some more."

He gives her a confused look but has no reply. He eyes the bread and meat wrapped in the napkin with uncertainty. Selia wishes she could tell him exactly what it is, but all she knows is that it tastes really good. Roan's hunger wins out anyway and he quickly devours every crumb. She's suddenly glad that her own hunger is still nearly nonexistent or else he'd have a lot less to eat. Guilt courses through her once more and she forces herself to remember that he wouldn't have anything to eat if she hadn't gotten him out of that cage.

"I also brought you something to wear," Selia murmurs as she grabs the extra gown.

Roan raises an incredulous brow as he takes the offered fabric.

"What?"

"There's no pants," he says in irritation.

Selia rolls her eyes, "If I don't get pants, then you don't get pants."

He rolls his eyes too before struggling to pull the gown over his large frame while trapped in this tight space. Rather than watching him awkwardly, Selia grabs the folded map and smooths out the wrinkles. She eyes her scribbled notes that question things on each level of Mount Weather and can't help but feel frustrated by her lack of answers.

"So, what's your plan, kid?" Roan demands once he's successfully dressed to match Selia.

"Well, based on what little I know, my plan is pretty sparse," she admits. "First things first, we need to figure out where everything is in here. Once we're able to navigate these vents, we can get to work."

"What exactly do we need to find?" he questions as she hands him the map.

"The number one place is the command center. I managed to learn from Cage that they have a single room responsible for all security."

"Who is Cage?"

"The president's son," Selia tells him. "I told you that yesterday."

"I don't know what that means…"

"What?" She stares at the man quizzically.

"President," he mutters, annoyed by her confusion.

"Oh, you don't know what president means? That's just their leader."

"And that's why you believe he can provide information?"

"Yeah, he's basically guaranteed to be the next leader when his father steps down, and for now he's the head of security. I know he can provide us with a lot of information, the only question is how do I get the information…" Selia trails off, thinking about today's conversation with Cage Wallace.

The more time she spends with him, the more uncomfortable she feels, and the more obvious his interest in her becomes. However, she has to put up with it and make it seem like she's just as interested or else they won't get the answers they need.

"What's in this command center that we need?" Roan interrupts Selia's deep consideration of their situation.

"Well, safety for one. We need to know where the cameras are, where guards are posted, how many there are of each…" Selia lists. "Things we need to know so we don't get caught looking for the answers and a safe escape."

"How do we find it?"

Selia reaches out to snatch the map from his hand before waving it in answer. "It's on Level 7 and we're on Level 3. I guess finding it isn't the real problem, it's getting there. I don't have a lot of experience climbing through vent systems, but it can't be that hard…"

…

She was wrong.

Selia begins panting on the fourth level as they crawl through the metal vent. Her arms start to shake beneath her weight on the fifth level. On the sixth level, frustration and exhaustion wins out as she sinks to her stomach to rest her tired limbs.

"What are you doing?" Roan demands as he pauses to look back at her.

"I'm taking a break," she mumbles.

"We haven't done anything," he mutters incredulously. "How can you need a break?"

"You said it before, I'm weak."

Roan sighs and then shifts to sit down in the cramped quarters when it becomes obvious they aren't moving again. "How do you expect to fight them if you can't even crawl somewhere?"

Selia lifts her head to shoot him a glare. "I'm getting better."

"Yeah, you look better," he retorts. "What happened to you anyway? How'd you get sick like this?"

"It's called cancer. It's when part of your body hates you and decides to try to kill you," she explains in the simplest way she can. "It killed my mom when I was little."

Roan nods in understanding, perhaps familiar with the illness. Surely the Grounders get cancer as well, they just have a different name for it.

"But you can get better?"

"Well, I couldn't. My people didn't have a cure, but then I got here. They do have one and they're treating me." Selia rolls over and then pushes herself into a sitting position to look at him as they speak. "I do feel better, but I'm sure it's hard to tell. I was basically dead though, I still can't believe I lasted as long as I did."

"You were in pretty bad shape when I found you," he says. "I can't believe you fought as hard as you did if you weren't going to survive either way."

"It wasn't about me surviving. It was about finding Clarke and getting back to my friends."

"Finding the girl who left you in here?"

"She didn't leave me in here. She found out what they were doing and had to run," Selia argues.

Roan shrugs while Selia scowls. His eyes trail down her form and he jerks his chin towards her arm. "What happened there?"

Selia looks down at the crook of her arm where the skin is a viscous purple. Her attempts to reinsert the I.V. ended this way. However, with the painful bruise to back her up, she was able to convince Dr. Tsing to allow her to go without the thing except for during the treatment and right after. Despite the way it aches, it worked out well for her plan.

"Just had an issue hiding my late-night exploration," she tells him simply.

"So this cure," Roan begins, silently accepting her vague answer. "How long does it take to work?"

"The treatment lasts about a month."

"What happens if you don't finish the treatment?"

"The cancer will probably come back," Selia answers perplexed. "Why?"

"Well, what are you going to do when we kill them all and you can't finish?"

The guard's brows furrow in confusion. "…What are you talking about?"

"We're killing them, Selia," Roan states firmly. "We can't just escape without a fight. And even if we could, they've killed hundreds of us. _Jus drein, jus daun_."

"Huh?"

"Blood must have blood."

"Okay, I'm sorry," Selia mutters as she shakes her head in hopes that this flurry of information will begin to make sense. "Roan, we can't just kill them all. Two against the entire damn mountain."

"We have an entire army inside here. They're just in cages."

She blinks in surprise. She didn't think of that.

"With what weapons?"

"Your people may need weapons, but mine don't."

"Yeah, your fists of fury aren't going to do much. You're not going to be able to punch a bullet," she tells him with a scoff. "Regardless, we're not killing everyone in this mountain. There are innocent people in here."

"What exactly do you plan on doing then? You just want to crawl through vents until they find us?" he growls.

"No, I just want to find answers before I start executing everyone," she quips. "We don't even know why they're taking your blood."

"Is there a reason they could give that would justify it to you?" he questions in disbelief.

"No –"

"Then what difference does it make?"

Selia sighs in exasperation. "The difference is that you can't just go into a fight blindly. We need to take this one step at a time, okay? If you start getting ahead of yourself, then we all die."

"How many battles have you fought?" Roan challenges, his annoyance with Selia beginning to show.

"This isn't going to be a battle you're familiar with. Do you understand that?" she demands. "These people are more like mine than yours, which means I probably know better."

"Do you? Or do you just want your cure?" Roan challenges.

Selia scoffs dismissively. "You know it has nothing to do with that. You think I'd be in this vent after breaking you out if all I wanted was my cure?"

Roan remains silent, but his expression shows that he knows she's right.

"Let's just get some answers and then we can make a real plan, okay?" Selia rubs her knees before moving to crawl again. "Let's go."

…

On the seventh level, Selia finds exactly what she wanted: a vent opening that looks directly into the command center of Mount Weather. Through the slits in the opening, she and Roan can see the room is filled with computers, a huge monitor on the main wall, and a single security guard on duty. The Grounder beside her gapes at the unfamiliar technology and she realizes that he probably didn't understand exactly what she was talking about earlier when she referred to the center's importance.

"What is all of this?" Roan whispers.

"It's basically the heart of the mountain," Sel explains. "All these computers hold everything about this place – how it works, how to get in and out, its weaknesses."

"Does it hold the answers to what they're doing to my people?"

"Probably," she murmurs.

"Well, how do we find out? We have to get in there."

"We will, but not today."

"What?" Roan hisses.

"Do you not see the guard right there? We can't just pop out of the damn wall," she replies.

"We could kill him."

"Because that's not suspicious at all," she returns with an eye roll.

"So we're just going to what? Stare at these computers?"

"Yep. Now, stop talking," she orders.

Roan growls quietly in frustration, but surprisingly doesn't speak. Selia watches closely as the guard types away on one of the keyboards. The large monitor on the wall is broken up into several different images. The man brings various things up, examining them closely before replacing the pictures with more.

On a few smaller monitors, she can see live feed from their security cameras throughout the mountain. She's relieved to find that the sickroom is not one being recorded. One that makes her feel uneasy, however, is the feed of the dorm where the hundred are living. She can see all their familiar faces, completely unaware of the danger she and Clarke have found. Several of the teenagers are asleep, Nate and Jasper being two of them, but Monty lies awake on his bunk seeming tense. She wonders if maybe he isn't as unaware as the others.

Pushing down her concern to address later, Selia's eyes return to the main screen and she's shocked by what she sees.

"Those are photos from the outside," she whispers.

The Mount Weather guard clicks through several pictures of the forest and soon images of familiar areas appear. The top of the dropship the hundred came down in, the wreckage of the Exodus Ship, masked Grounders that look like all the others.

"How are they getting these?" Roan asks in confusion.

"They've got portable cameras that take pictures, but it seems like they go outside a lot more than I thought."

Other images of areas she's never seen come up, but she's surprised to recognize some of the objects. It all looks like wreckage from the dropships too, she just doesn't understand how that's possible. Then, another image comes across the screen and lets out a gasp.

"What is it?" Roan questions with a hint of concern.

The enormous metal structure stands up on its side as out of place on Earth as it could possibly be. A wire fence encompasses it along with other tents inside of it. People are scattered around, _her_ people.

"That's Alpha Station," she whispers. "That's my home."

"What are you talking about?"

"That's part of the Ark," she clarifies. "That's supposed to be floating in space. And those people, _my_ people, they're supposed to be dead."

"Then, how'd they get here?"

Selia shakes her head while a thousand thoughts tumble through her mind. Suddenly, the small bit of hope that was fueling her denial of her other friends being dead blooms. If people from the Ark made it to Earth and they have the entire Alpha Station to live in, that means Raven really could have been found and saved. And Bellamy, Octavia, and Finn could have found their way to safety, too.

And Clarke actually has somewhere to run.

Before she can answer, another photo replaces the Ark. Selia gasps again, but this time it almost sounds like a sob. Tears fill her eyes immediately as her hand flies to her mouth to muffle her whimper. Roan's eyes burn into the side of her head, but she refuses to tear her gaze from the monitor.

"Selia?" Roan's voice is different, gentle.

She blinks her eyes hard, shakes her head sharply, even bites down on her lip to see if the pain will wake her from this dream, but the image remains.

His familiar brown hair, the ragged expression, and the black jacket pulled over his shoulders are all there.

In the middle of the woods.

On Earth.

Alive.

Roan's large hand covers her shoulder in an attempt to get her attention. "Are you okay?"

Selia releases a watery chuckle as the tears trail down her cheeks. A brilliant smile takes over her mouth while her bottom lip quivers with emotion.

"That's…that's my dad," she murmurs. Her heart thunders in relief and excitement. "I thought…I thought he was dead."

The photo is replaced by another and Selia sits back with wide eyes. She turns her blurry gaze to Roan, smiling impossibly wider. Roan's lips twitch as it's almost impossible not to return the gesture.

"My dad is here," she breathes.

* * *

Hello again!

I am so sorry for the delay! I had writer's block for this chapter. I couldn't get more than one sentence out at a time for a while, but I finally got through it. And I know this isn't the most eventful chapter, especially with Kane's part being almost identical to how it went in the show just with Evan thrown in, but it was really all meant to build up to the ending.

Selia knows her dad is alive! Now, we just need him to find out she's alive too.

What did you think? Good, bad, not emotional enough, right amount of emotion? Also, how is Roan coming across? Am I in character or no?

Please, please leave me a review to let me know what you think! I love all your feedback so much. It encourages me to write and helps me to make the story better.

On a side note, I don't have a beta so I edit the chapters myself. I know there are mistakes that I miss all the time, which I apologize for, but I'm also sorry if there are extra mistakes in this chapter that I missed. I don't know what was going on, but I found so many when I was reading through this chapter.

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following! Special thanks to my amazing reviewers!

Hope to hear from you,

\- V :)


	20. Chapter 20

"You're at Alpha Station, right?" Selia questions.

An all-too realistic hallucination of Bellamy sits on the foot of her bed, appearing right after her breakfast arrived. The food remains untouched since she's far more interested in talking to him.

"You need to eat," he says.

"Just answer my question," she begs.

"Sel, I'm right here," he sighs, gesturing towards his own form. "Now, eat some food. Don't forget you'll have to save your dinner for Roan."

Selia scowls as the gears in her mind all click into place. _I can only tell you what you already know_. That's what he said the last time he was here. He's a figment of her imagination and everything he says is what her brain decides. He can't actually assure her that he's safe and sound. Well, he could, but her subconscious obviously doesn't want fake words of comfort.

She does listen to him about eating, though. She wants to make sure she can save as much food for Roan as possible, so she starts nibbling at the toast the nurse brought in and picking at the colorful, chopped fruit. Bellamy watches and doesn't speak again until he's satisfied that she'll continue without pressure.

"We need to figure out a way to get into the command center," he tells her. "There's always going to be at least one guard in there, so we need a way to knock them out without getting caught."

Selia nods in agreement. "How do we do that, though? We can't hit him over the back of the head. Everything I can think of is too obvious or too suspicious."

"Yeah," Bellamy mutters. His brows furrow as the wheels work tirelessly inside his head to come up with a good idea. Selia struggles to concentrate because she's busy staring at him. If he was really there, he'd look just like this and her heart aches knowing that he'll disappear soon.

A knock on the door seems to startle them both. Monty enters the hospital room with a severely concerned expression that tightens Selia's stomach and causes what little hunger she felt to vanish.

"What's wrong?" she asks immediately.

"Sel, have you seen Clarke?"

The guard's eyes dart to Bellamy who nods in response.

"They won't let Jasper or me see her –" Selia's eyes shoot back to Monty at his words. "– I just can't relax until I can see she's okay for myself."

"What are you talking about?" Selia gazes at him in utter confusion.

"They didn't tell you?" Monty's eyes widen guiltily. "Nate comes in here all the time, I figured he told you."

"Tell me what?" She glances at Bellamy who shrugs, just as lost as her.

"Clarke's in the psych ward under evaluation," he explains. "She had a breakdown and pulled her stitches out."

Selia gapes at him and Monty takes that to mean she's upset with him.

"I'm so sorry. I really thought Miller just told you or that someone else would. I should have come and told you myself, I was just really worried and didn't want to worry you more because I know you would be even more worried too," he rambles on quickly.

She can't believe this. They gave Monty and the others half of the story she got, but she wonders if maybe no one knows that Cage gave her more of the truth.

"You should tell him," Bellamy says.

Selia nods absently in response, but Monty takes it as signal for him to stop his lengthy apology.

"They're lying to you, Monty," Selia begins. "Clarke isn't in the psych ward. She's not even in the mountain anymore."

"What…what do you mean?" he questions, plopping into the chair beside her bed and staring at her completely bewildered.

"I think Clarke did pull her stitches out so she could get into Medical for some reason, but there's no way she had a breakdown. Cage told me a similar story, only he said that she got out of the mountain and when they went to bring her back, she fought them."

"Well, what happened? Why would she leave on her own?"

Again, Selia glances at her hallucination. Now, she's uncertain. How much does she tell Monty? She can't just lie to him, but she also knows the truth is very dangerous. The whole point of this is to protect him and the others.

"You have to tell him everything," Bellamy insists. "Monty and the others can help, and you need it."

She blows out an uncomfortable breath, resigning herself to the fact that she can't protect them without more help. More help than what her hallucinations can give her.

So, she quietly explains everything she has discovered since Clarke disappeared. Monty sits with wide eyes as he takes in all the shocking information she has to share. Selia can tell her alliance with the same Grounder who abducted her makes the teenager uneasy, but the more she describes of Mount Weather's dirty secrets, the more that piece pales in comparison.

"What is going on here?" he mutters in disbelief. "Are we next?"

"Probably," Selia says honestly. "Which is why we need to figure out how to get out of here."

"Do you think Clarke is okay?" he asks worriedly.

"Yes," she tells him firmly, not allowing a hint of doubt to seep into her heart. "She has to be."

"What are we going to do?"

Selia lets out a heavy sigh as she scrubs her face in frustration. "I know what we need to do, I just don't know how to get it done."

"We'll figure it out," Monty promises, unused to seeing Selia so unsure. "We always do."

The young guard nods, taking a calming breath. She suddenly realizes that her hallucination has disappeared. While just imagining Bellamy with her brings a sense of comfort, she feels some relief to be more connected to reality with him gone for the time being.

Turning back to Monty, she collects her thoughts before responding. "If they're at Alpha, then they must have already set up a radio system. The Guard, at the very least, will need it to communicate. We need to figure out a way to contact them. Fighting them from within will only get us so far."

"If we could get a hold of a radio in here, I might be able to do it."

"Good, I'll see if I can get one tonight with Roan."

"I'll go with you," he offers.

"No, you need to stay where you're supposed to be. You need to act normal, Monty. I can't risk them getting suspicious and putting you in more danger, okay?"

She can see he wants to argue, but it seems something in her expression silences him and he nods in agreement.

"We also need to know their defenses. I'll see what I can get out of Cage, but can you look around? Just in the places you would normally be."

"Yeah, no problem," Monty says. "Jasper has been spending all his time with that girl Maya. Maybe we can get answers from her too."

"Just be careful," she warns.

"Should we tell Jasper and the others?"

"Let's just keep it between us for now," Selia decides with a sympathetic look. She knows it will be hard to keep something from his best friend because it was hard for her to hide things from Evan and Raven, but it all comes down to safety. "Let's get more answers and then we'll share. They can enjoy this place a little longer."

"Okay," Monty sighs.

Another knock as Nate arrives to hang out with Selia ends their conversation, but the young guard feels a little better with someone else helping.

…

The night goes the same as the last with little progress. Selia explains that Monty now knows what's going on and Roan doesn't seem pleased at first. However, the young guard's reassurance that the teenager can be trusted and her insistence that they need his help keeps the argument short. They return to the vent looking into the command center and spend most of the night observing in silence. Without a way inside, they don't learn as much as they need to, but Selia gets a basic idea of what they do during outside surveillance.

Aside from when they brought the hundred here, they only seem to send two men out at a time. They must wear the protective suits and they carry automatic rifles. She learned all that from the conversation going back and forth between the man on duty and the two spying on Alpha Station in the middle of the night. Sel just wishes she heard what they found out there.

It would have been a much more productive night had Cage visited her that evening. She intended to squeeze information out of him but didn't get the chance. They also failed to find a radio. So, in the end, Selia leaves Roan in the vents and returns to her hospital bed with a great deal of anxiety weighing heavily on her chest because she knows the longer it takes to figure things out, the more they're all in danger.

Morning arrives and the young guard wakes up feeling thoroughly exhausted. She sleepily pushes around her breakfast on the plate as nurses come and go in preparation for her next treatment. Seeing her father alive and on the ground has bolstered a new determination in her, so all the things they didn't accomplish in the night is that much more disappointing. She's so focused on mulling over her failure that she doesn't notice when Cage appears in the doorway.

"Good morning," he greets with a smile.

The guard glances up from her uneaten food in surprise and forces a smile of her own. "Morning," she murmurs.

"Tired?" He questions as he moves into the room to take his usual seat.

"Mm-hmm."

"I'm sorry I didn't come to visit yesterday," he tells her sincerely. "I was unexpectedly busy."

 _With what?_ Selia wonders, but nods with a forgiving smile.

"That's okay, I understand. Is that why you're here now?"

"It is," he says. Encouraged by her reaction, Cage leans forward so he is closer to Selia, not noticing the way she stiffens at his invasion of her personal space. "I truly enjoy our time together, Selia. I was disappointed to have to miss it and, unfortunately, I'll have to miss it again tonight."

Her stomach clenches from how uncomfortable this entire interaction makes her feel. She wants to shift away from his pale face and eerie smile, but she knows she needs his help. Selia doesn't like lying and she isn't very good at it, so she has to remind herself of everything on the line. She needs him to keep coming back.

"Aw," she feigns disappointment. "Well, I understand. I know you must be super busy."

"Yes," Cage agrees, seemingly pleased by her reaction. "But that's why I came early. I have an offer I was hoping to share."

"Oh?" It takes a lot for Selia to mask her apprehension as good-natured interest.

"If I'm able to convince Dr. Tsing to allow it, would you be interested in joining me for breakfast tomorrow?"

Selia's eyes grow to the size of saucers at the unexpected invitation. "B-breakfast?"

"In the mess hall," he adds. "I thought you might be growing tired of this room."

"Uh…y-yeah…" The young guard struggles to shake off her surprise as her cheeks warm from feeling so flustered. Cage waits expectantly for a more eloquent answer, so she hurries to give it to him. "Yes, I am. That would be g-great."

"Wonderful," he says with a wider smile. "I'll talk to the doctor and have some clothes brought to you. Sound good?"

The lump in her throat keeps her from answering so she nods in reply with another forced grin. She's beyond relieved when the nurse returns to take her to the other room for the treatment. Cage leaves, genuinely pleased with the way the conversation went, while Selia is left reeling.

…

Following their routine, Selia returns to the vents, handing off the leftover food before being pulled up by Roan. The difference tonight is that she has an actual plan aside from spying on the command center.

After her third treatment, the young guard woke up hours later to find Monty sleeping in the chair at her bedside. She was happy to find that the extreme dizziness she experienced before had lessened a great deal. And other than the achiness throughout her body, she felt pretty good. This, along with the fact that she knows her father and people are out there, encouraged and reinvigorated her. She came up with a plan that Monty fully supported and anxiously waited until nighttime to get it in gear.

"I talked to Cage sort of," Selia begins as Roan eats. "I didn't get a chance to ask any questions, but he invited me to breakfast tomorrow morning."

Roan pauses mid-bite to give her a strange look, clearly seeing the deeper meaning behind Cage's offer.

She grimaces in response. "The point being that I'll finally get out of the medical wing and into the main parts of the mountain. I have an idea."

"What is it?" he questions with his mouth full.

"Well, there's going to be plenty of people and I'm betting plenty of guards with radios on their hips at breakfast. I know I can snag one without them noticing, we just need a safe place to hide it for later."

"Then what?"

"Then, we get Monty's help and try to contact my people at Alpha Station. We tell them what's going on and they help get us out of here."

"And you're sure this Monty kid can do it?" Roan asks skeptically.

"Yes, I know he can," she assures. "Now, come on, let's go check out level five."

…

Bellamy's chest feels tight as they make their way to the new camp. He didn't intend on returning without the rest of his people, nor did he plan to fail so miserably. They saved the girl, Mel, from falling to her death, but they lost Sterling in the process. He can't help but feel like they lost Finn along the way too because the boy who shot that Grounder without a second thought was not the peacekeeping spacewalker they all knew.

He's happy that he has Octavia back because sending her away with Lincoln broke his heart. He was only able to do it because it was necessary for her safety. Bellamy honestly wasn't sure he would ever see his little sister again. And after realizing that the majority of his people were nowhere to be found, that Raven was partially paralyzed, and that Selia's continued absence could only be the result of a single horrible truth, a life without O was almost too much for him to handle. So much so that he was content in not handling it.

While that is one thing in his favor, the rest weighs heavily on him. Part of him wants to just collapse and give up because he's lost on what to do, but the rest of him knows that's not possible. He won't give up on his people until he's dead, he just wishes things looked at least fractionally better.

Bellamy guides Mel through the gates of camp where they're met with demands to hand over their weapons. He rolls his eyes as a guard snatches the rifle out of his hand. Like he was going to do something dangerous to them.

The small and now unarmed group is quickly met by Abby who recognizes Mel immediately.

"Where are the others?" she questions.

"There are no others," Mel answers softly.

The doctor stares at the young girl in shock, but Bellamy speaks before she can be questioned further. The last thing the girl needs right now is to be overwhelmed by an interrogation.

"We found her a day from here. No survivors. Lots of supplies."

Abby and another woman take Mel and Monroe to be treated for their injuries in the medical tent. Octavia moves to say something but stops with her mouth hung open as a blonde blur comes running towards them. Before Bellamy knows what's happening, someone flings their arms around him in a tight embrace.

To his surprise, the hugger is Clarke and when he realizes it, his arms wrap around her in return. He's just as shocked by his reaction as his sister, but he can't deny the genuine relief coursing through him. He and Clarke may have butt heads more often than not and she may have frustrated him beyond belief, but they wouldn't have survived without her. _He_ wouldn't have survived without her.

Bellamy is so overwhelmed with astonishment that he can't even form the words to question where she's been or how she got here. As Clarke pulls away and moves to hug Octavia, he takes in all the injuries marring her face and wonders what caused them. A limping Raven joins them just as he manages to form a useful question, but the words don't make it out when the blonde suddenly turns towards him and the mechanic with wide eyes.

"What is it?" he demands, not even trying to hide the concern in his voice.

"Selia!" Clarke gasps.

Bellamy's brows furrow as he glances at Raven in confusion. "She's not here, Clarke," he tells her, resisting the urge to wince just from acknowledging her absence.

He absolutely refuses to add that she's probably already gone. He can't say that aloud. Not yet.

"No," the younger girl says, shaking her head fiercely. "She's okay! She's alive!"

"W-what?" Raven stutters in shock.

"She's alive," Clarke repeats, her eyes glimmering with a promise.

Bellamy can hear the blood rushing in his ears and his heart beating like a drum. Hope breaks through the tension in his body as an onslaught of emotion nearly brings him to tears.

"She's alive?" He breathes the words, testing the possibility that it could be true. "Where is she?"

"She's not here," Clarke says. "I'll explain everything, but I promise she's okay right now. She's being treated."

Confusion fills him as he glances over at Raven whose eyes are shining with unshed tears while still showing her own lack of understanding.

"How?" she whispers, her voice thick with disbelief and desperation that it could be true.

"There's a cure," Clarke tells them. "She's okay."

Raven turns to Bellamy now. They share an understanding based on the love they have for the guard. Even in the short time, they've struggled with her absence. And just thinking about that being forever was something they weren't ready to accept. Neither could handle the truth yet because it hurt way too much, but since Selia snuck out of camp, they never expected any other news than that she was dead, so this…this is unbelievable.

"She's okay," Raven murmurs to Bellamy.

Without thinking, Bellamy pulls the mechanic in for a hug. It's like the dark clouds keeping endless rain pouring on them in the form of Selia's suffering suddenly clear. Everything they've been through – torturing Lincoln when he poisoned Selia, struggling to sit by and watch her die, the desperation to find her when she left camp in search of Clarke – brings them together, forming a bond that Selia would be happy to know exists. Their relief cements it and they hold onto each other as waves of emotion leave them unable to do anything else.

A thousand thoughts and possibilities come to mind for Bellamy and even more questions, but the one at the forefront is something that has always been true.

He loves Selia Kane more than anything and the only life he wants is one shared with her.

* * *

Hello!

I can't believe we're already at chapter 20!

This chapter is a bit shorter than normal. I kept trying to add this other part, but it just didn't flow very well so I decided to save it for the next chapter.

So, now she has a better plan, Monty to help, and a weird breakfast "date" with Cage. Are you excited?

I'm not super confident in the end scene with them finding out Selia is alive. I really wanted to have this great, deep moment where Bellamy and Raven bonded over their love for Sel and their relief that she's okay. It didn't come out exactly how I wanted, but hopefully it still portrays the basic idea.

I loved all the feedback! Reading your reviews makes me so, so happy! And seeing new favorites and follows is so exciting! I hope you continue to enjoy the story.

Please review and let me know what you thought! I really would love so much to know!

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following. Special thanks to my awesome reviewers.

Hope to hear from you again,

\- V :)


	21. Chapter 21

Selia stares at the open trunk filled with hanging clothes, shoes, and accessories. Her fingers run over the soft, worn fabric of a gray sweater and she palms the dainty jewels of a blue necklace. It's all so pretty, she knows she would feel so girly wearing it all, but it's completely unnecessary. Maybe under different circumstances, she would enjoy dressing in all of this, but all she wants right now is her guard uniform.

And to not have Cage Wallace waiting outside her door.

With a sigh, Selia chooses the lone pair of jeans and a green, knit top with sleeves to cover the bruise on her arm. She slips on a pair of flats and paces the room to test how they feel. Satisfied her feet feel fine, she glances in the mirror to see her tangled waves. She tries to tame them by combing her fingers through, but in the end, she just quickly twists her messy hair into a braid that rests on her shoulder.

She's surprised to see how much better she looks already. She's pale from the treatment yesterday and exhausted, but there's a clear difference. While it may be subtle to someone else, the death sentence written all over her emaciated body has begun to fade in obvious ways for her. Her skin doesn't look as dull, her eyes aren't so sunken, and her entire form no longer appears as if it's going to crumble completely from the slightest breeze. Selia has a long way to go to get back to being healthy, but life is finally returning to her and she's incredibly grateful.

It devastates her to know the people she owes her gratitude to have monstrous secrets she plans to expose.

Shaking those thoughts away for the time being, Selia takes a deep breath before leaving the relative safety of her hospital room and meeting Cage in the hall.

The man beams as he drinks in her appearance, leaving Sel to shift awkwardly in discomfort.

"You look beautiful, Selia," he compliments.

"Thank you," she mumbles with an embarrassed smile.

"I thought I'd show you around on the way to the mess hall," he says. He offers his arm and Selia forces herself to take it with another smile, knowing she needs to be on his good side for her plan to work.

Cage shows her around parts of a few levels, explaining how everything works. She knows it's a similar tour to what Clarke received, but Selia's eyes are peeled for certain things, making it a productive trip. The young guard carefully memorizes every detail, uncertain what will be important and what won't, but refusing to take any chances of missing something. When they finally reach the mess hall, Selia has a long list of things she wants to check out with Roan tonight.

Her mind is working a mile a minute, but suddenly pauses when she looks around the large dining room. Large wooden tables take up most of the space with linen cloths covering them. Glassware and ceramic dishes mark each space where a person who is enjoying their first meal of the day sits. There are other smaller, circular tables, old, upholstered chairs, and even a huge piano – something Selia had only seen in pictures. Flags from America she recognizes from school hang from the ceiling with crystal chandeliers providing light and paintings decorating the walls.

"Do you like it?" Cage asks, noticing her slightly awed gaze.

"Yeah, it's amazing," she says. "Not what I expected."

"Come on, the food is even better."

Cage guides her around the tables, garnering quite a bit of attention. The curious looks and whispers coming from all the mountain people who have never seen her before makes her face flush. The confused stares from her own people makes her feel guilty. Of course, the only person who knows why she feels guilty knows that this is all part of the plan, but that thought provides little comfort. Especially when Cage places a hand on the small of her back and everyone drops any semblance of subtlety in their watching.

He brings her to the buffet and hands her a plate. Selia traces the edge of the worn china, finding a few chips and the fading paint of what she believes were once flowers.

"Take as much as you want," he tells her.

"You don't ration?" She questions in shock.

"No, we produce enough food now not to worry about it. In the beginning, we had to, but things are better."

Selia gazes at all the food laid out to eat in wonder. Her stomach grumbles from the delicious smells and she loads up her plate with more than she'll ever be able to finish. Cage then escorts her to the table at the very front of the room where she hesitates to sit despite her determination to go through with her plan.

"What's wrong?" Cage asks in concern.

"It's just…" Selia trails off in a whisper as she glances at the people staring at her from the table. "People are…"

"Surprised to see me with such a lovely girl," he finishes with a pleased look in his cool gaze. He pulls out a chair and gestures for her to sit. "Don't pay them any attention."

 _Easier said than done_ , she thinks as she takes her place.

Selia searches for a familiar face, relieved when she finds Monty looking back at her. His trusting eyes remind her of the plan and everything relying on their success.

As Cage explains the origin of most of the items in the mess hall, Selia allows herself a brief moment to enjoy the food. Fluffy, yellow eggs and sweet waffles – that's what Cage said they were – taste better than anything she ever ate on the Ark. She wishes that her stomach could handle more of it, but just a few bites leave her stuffed. She wishes she could save the rest for Roan, but that's far too suspicious.

The young guard pushes the remaining food around her plate to make it look like she's still eating. She contributes to the conversation when needed, smiling and laughing at whatever Cage is saying. She scans the dining hall as they talk and finds every guard in uniform with a walkie talkie on their hip. When she sees one almost finished with his meal, she knows it's time to act. With a curt nod to Monty, the plan begins when he quickly moves to read a book in a chair by the entrance.

"Wow, you'll have to show me them some time," Selia says after Cage describes what's in all the warehouses. She takes a sip of her juice and sets it down too close to the edge.

"We can go tomorrow if you like," he offers, happy to find a way to spend more time with her.

"That would be great." Selia gives him a wide smile, meeting his gaze as she makes a reach for her fork again.

Her hand hits the glass of juice, knocking it over, and causing it to spill all over Cage's pants. The man jumps slightly, quickly righting the glass and trying to dry himself with a napkin.

Selia gasps, doing her best to appear embarrassed. "Oh, my gosh! I'm so sorry!"

She takes her own napkin and moves to help dry his lap, but he catches her wrist before she can touch him. He gives her a tight smile, but the heat in his darkening eyes causes her to genuinely blush.

"It's okay," he says, still holding her arm. "I'm just going to run to the restroom."

Cage leaves the table, ducking through a side door that must lead to the bathrooms. Once he's out of sight, Selia's gaze returns to the guard who is now moving away from his own table. She stands and walks casually towards the exit, following the unknown man. When he reaches the exit, Monty jumps up from his seat to stop the guy and ask him a question. Selia glances around to make sure no one is paying attention to her now.

"…I just wondered what it was like. After all this time on the ground, I've been rethinking possible careers," Monty explains his crafted story to the man.

Selia sees his radio clipped to the belt and knows she'll have to be quick and very gentle in removing it. She doesn't even want to imagine what would happen if he caught her.

The man is answering Monty's question, believing that he's genuine in his interest, and maybe a little flattered to be the person he asked. Selia takes advantage of the distraction, her heart pounding with every step she takes. She's familiar with carrying a radio on her belt, so she knows that the missing weight won't go unnoticed. He'll know if she just pulls it off and walks away, which is why they have a second diversion.

She braces herself for the impending pain and makes like she stubbed her toe on the ground. She falls to the concrete floor, feeling the bite through her jeans, and absorbing the stinging in her knees. The guard looks down in shock as she's right beside his feet and squats down to help.

"Are you okay?" he questions in concern.

"Ugh, yeah, I'm such a clutz," she says with an embarrassed smile. "I'm good at tripping over air."

The guard chuckles as he pulls Selia to her feet. She wobbles in his arms, a movement that allows one of her hands to slip to his belt unnoticed. As he steadies her, she manages to pull the radio from him. If he notices any feeling, he just thinks it's her trying to regain balance. Selia quickly hides it behind her back, hooking it to her jeans and hiding it beneath the oversized shirt, while making it seem like she's just adjusting her pants.

"Thank you," she tells the man. "I'm sorry."

"No problem," the guard says with a smile.

Selia gives Monty a meaningful look before she walks out of the mess hall. She hurries down the corridor to the utility closet she discovered with Roan last night. She ducks inside through the unlocked door and the ceiling vent cracks open when Roan realizes it's her.

She pulls the radio from her waistband and turns a dial at the stop to ensure it will stay silent until tonight.

"Ready?" she whispers up to Roan who nods and reaches out a hand. She tosses it up and he catches it with ease.

"This is it?" he questions.

"Yeah, we'll see what we can do with it tonight," she answers. "I need to get back."

Roan nods before replacing the vent cover while Selia rushes back to the dining room. In her haste, she collides with Cage who was going to look for her. She easily makes up a story of being embarrassed and wanting to gather herself before he returned, which he totally believes. She joins him back at the table where the juice has been cleaned up and feels much more relaxed as they eat because she knows her plan has worked so far.

…

Monty bursts through the door to Selia's room with a shaken expression. Selia had been trying to nap, but her mind has been working too fast since breakfast to get any rest. She just decided to give up and now she's glad for it.

"What's wrong?"

"I know why they're taking the Grounders' blood," he whispers in a rush.

"Why?" Selia demands as he takes his usual seat.

"There was a breach earlier, a radiation leak."

"Yeah, I heard the alarms. A nurse told me what happened."

"Did she tell you that Maya got hurt? Jasper's girl whatever?"

"No, is she alright?" Selia asks in concern.

"She is now, but she wasn't," he says. "She was burnt to a crisp, Sel. Covered in blisters, unrecognizable."

Selia shakes her head, her brows furrowing. "Are you saying that they used the Grounders' blood to help her?"

"I'm saying that's what they usually do…"

"So, what did they do this time?"

"They used Jasper's blood," Monty tells her solemnly.

The young guard's own blood runs cold at the news as she pictures the Grounders hung by the ankles in the cage room. She knows Monty wouldn't be telling her so calmly if that's what they did to Jasper, but the image appears at the forefront of her mind anyway. And since she ate way more than her sick body could handle at breakfast, she has to throw herself from the bed to find the bowl they gave her after treatment in time to vomit.

She groans in frustration, thinking she had already recovered from the treatment yesterday because it was getting easier. _Apparently not_.

"Sel! Are you okay?" Monty is beside her, moving her side braid behind her shoulder and out of the way.

"Yeah," she mutters, wiping her mouth. "I want to see him."

"Okay," he agrees easily.

Selia moves to the sink to rinse her mouth before turning back to her friend. "And I want to talk to Dr. Tsing."

…

After a discussion with Dr. Tsing where she shared nothing but lies, Selia and Monty waited until Jasper woke up and fell back asleep before they returned to her room. Monty waited with her until nighttime so he could join her routine vent crawl with Roan. She can tell he's nervous, whether it's about sneaking around or being forced to work with a Grounder, she doesn't know, but he seems to shove it all down and go forward with a brave face.

At the vent, Roan takes the food and pulls Selia up like usual. Monty climbs up after her and she replaces the cover. The air immediately grows tense in the cramped confines, but the young guard knows they don't have time for any of that.

"Monty, this is Roan," she introduces quickly. "Roan, Monty."

"Uh…nice to meet you," the younger boy manages.

Roan grunts in return, earning a warning look from Selia. The Grounder rolls his eyes in response but concedes with a politer nod in Monty's direction.

"Okay, let's see the radio," she says. "Are we going to be able to contact them with just this?"

"I don't know," Monty admits as Roan hands her the walkie. "It's short range, but maybe Clarke has people near the mountain."

Selia frowns at the likelihood of that as she tunes the radio to the Ark-wide channel. A strange noise, like a warped pulsing, sounds from it. Monty's eyes widen as he snatches the walkie from her hands to bring it to his ear.

"What is it?" she questions.

"I've heard this before," he answers. "With the black box from the Exodus Ship and the walkies Raven made. It's a jamming signal."

Selia's brows furrow, feeling disturbed. "Tell me they didn't do what I think they did?"

"What did they do?" Roan demands.

"They crashed the Exodus Ship," Monty explains.

"They killed at least a hundred of our people before they even had a chance," Selia spits. "The ship my father was supposed to be on, the wreck that made me believe he was dead."

Monty tests other channels but finds that the only one that works is what the people in Mount Weather are using. "They're basically jamming everything. I doubt our people are even able to communicate and definitely no farther than short-range if they can."

"Can you unjam it?"

"Maybe, but not with just this."

"Well, what do you need?" Selia asks, her desperation growing.

"There's got to be an antenna on top of the mountain," Monty begins.

"On the outside of the mountain…" Selia adds, waiting expectantly for further explanation.

"If we could get outside of the mountain, then we wouldn't need whatever an antenna is," Roan says harshly, glaring at Monty like he's an idiot.

"I don't need to get outside," the younger boy clarifies, remaining unperturbed by the Grounder's attitude. "I just need to get to the wires attached to it."

"Where would we find those wires?"

"Without a map of the inner-workings of the mountain, I'm not sure," Monty admits.

Selia lets out a shaky chuckle. "We can't just ask for that."

"I know," he sighs.

"So, now what?" Roan presses. "If your radio didn't work, we need a new plan."

"We can get the radio to work, but it's going to take some searching."

"Searching? All we do is search!" The Grounder growls.

"Calm down, Roan," Selia murmurs. "We just need to think. There's got to be a way…"

Selia pulls out the map of Mount Weather she was given, already worn from being folded time and again. She smooths the creases as she stares at every level so vaguely illustrated. She feels her urgency making her frantic with a hammering heart. With each blink she sees Grounders hung by their ankles and Jasper laying in the hospital bed. She sees all the kids trapped in the same cages where Roan had been. She sees her own failure ending with everyone dead and she nearly growls in frustration.

Her job is to protect people and she can't do that from this vent.

"There's got to be something we can do," she mutters to herself. She's concentrating so hard that her face is turning red, but neither Roan nor Monty are willing to interrupt.

Selia's finger traces each floor on the map. She draws an invisible line where the antenna would be on the peak of the mountain and another line down where the wires could be housed, but it's just speculation and doesn't narrow down any of the possibilities. Her finger comes to rest on the command center, the one place she knows they need to get in and the one place she knows they probably never will. Her eyes shift to the legend on the left corner of the page and finally an idea becomes clear.

"What are the chances that we could find what we need in Wallace's office?" she asks as she looks up at Monty. "It's a big office and there's a computer."

"Can we get in there without getting caught?"

Selia glances at Roan, "We never saw any camera watching it. As long as it's empty and we go through the vents, I'm sure it's possible."

"Then, I bet we could definitely find something useful," Monty confirms.

…

Roan drops from the vent first, landing agilely in the middle of the oval office. Selia lowers herself down, but he doesn't allow her to jump to the floor. Instead, he grabs her by the waist and places her gently on the ground.

"Thanks," Selia mumbles without meeting his gaze.

She immediately goes to the desk while Monty takes a wobbly landing. Roan is looking around the office, taking special interest in the antique sword on the desk. He's searching for things that he can take to use as weapons, just as he had when they went to the utility closet last night. She stopped him then, but Selia doesn't bother now. She knows things are going to move a lot faster than she anticipated if they're already using her people's blood and they'll need all the firepower they can get when things inevitably go south.

Monty sets his sight on the password-protected computer and gets to the task of breaking in to it. Selia begins rummaging through the drawers of the desk in search of anything even remotely useful.

"I'm in," he says with prideful grin.

"Already? Nice," Sel compliments. "What do you got?"

Selia moves closer to Monty to read the screen and Roan joins them. A document menu is brought up and Monty clicks on 'Surveillance.' Pictures of Alpha Station that she and Roan already saw pop up and the younger boy releases a sharp exhale.

"They really are alive," he whispers, glancing at Selia. "Do you think…could my parents be alive?"

"They could be, Monty," the guard tells him. She doesn't want to lie in case they didn't make it, but she also isn't going to squash his hope. Hope gives people strength and they need all the strength they can get. "Check reconnaissance."

More pictures come up, but the focus is the Grounders this time. Monty clicks through them slowly and they find that Mount Weather keeps a close eye on them at all times. It follows warriors in different villages that they didn't realize existed. Roan grows more infuriated with each photo, obviously not knowing before now how often they were being watched. He stops Monty at a picture of a woman, probably younger than Selia, with black paint around her eyes and flanked by large men.

"That's the commander," he tells Selia.

" _She_ is the commander?" Selia questions in disbelief. "That's…that's pretty awesome actually."

"Commander of what?" Monty asks.

"Of the coalition," Roan answers.

"All the Grounders," Selia clarifies. "There are clans or something."

Monty still looks confused, but Selia just shakes her head. She really doesn't understand either.

"I don't understand how they got these," Roan mutters in anger.

"They're obviously good at sneaking around," she says.

They click until they reach pictures from farther back. They captured what happened on the bridge from a distance. The explosion that Selia set off with her shot. The next picture reveals that they knew she was responsible.

Photographs that neither she or Monty recognize show the battle they missed. It practically documents all of it. The Grounders marching, their friends trying to escape before nightfall, everyone who died.

"They were there the whole time," she murmurs.

"They could have saved them." Monty adds, disgusted by the thought of these people just watching as their friends were brutally killed.

"Is there anything about weaponry? I want to know what sort of defenses they have set up here," Selia says, quickly trying to move away from that horrible topic. "Try 'Emergency Operations.'"

Monty pulls it up from the menu and it shows diagrams of protocols for various incidents. It shows what happens to the mountain when there's a radiation breach, when someone gets exposed, when someone gets hurt outside – none of which interests Selia. It isn't until Monty reaches the last few files that something seems useful.

"This is for outside attacks," he reads.

"Bingo," she grins. "This is what we need to be able to share with them."

Two more diagrams pop up, one that shows where the residents are supposed to go should they be under attack and another that illustrates how the mountain responds.

"What is that?" Roan asks, pointing at the place where something labelled 'the veil' is shown seeping through outside vents.

"Is that the acid fog?" Monty questions as both turn to Selia for answers.

She sighs in frustration. They should have known it was a weapon and not a weird post-nuclear reaction from the earth. "They control it."

"How are we supposed to get out of here or get an army near this mountain if they release the fog?" Roan demands, his anger intensifying by the minute.

"We shut it off," Selia answer simply. "The real problem is that door."

"Why?"

"Because it's not something we're going to be able to just break down," Monty tells him.

"It's practically impenetrable," Selia adds. "These are all things we need to figure out soon or we're all going to die in this place."

"That's a great thought," Monty mutters.

"We've been in here too long. Let's find the map and go," she says quickly.

The two guys understand Selia's shift away from their issues with the defenses. If they start getting ahead of themselves, they'll drown in the stress. They need to get in contact with the Ark first and foremost. The information they've learned tonight is crucial for their escape, but it needs to be set aside for now.

Selia continues to dig through the desk while Monty searches the computer. She finds something stuck in the back of a drawer and wrestles with it for a moment until she gives it a good yank. She falls back from her knees from the force, but she's unfazed as her eyes take in the packet of papers.

"This is it," Selia whispers excitedly. "This is what we need!"

…

"Roan and I will find the spot and figure a way through the wall to get to the wires," Selia whispers as they crawl back to the vent opening in the sickroom. "It's too suspicious that you 'fall asleep' in my room two nights in a row."

"So, you'll find it and then the next night we'll get the radio set up?" Monty questions.

"Yeah, I know it costs more time, but we just cannot risk getting caught."

Selia wishes she could handle this without Monty, but she knows next to nothing about this kind of stuff. She must accept that Monty can handle his own in this situation or they'll never get out alive. She has to face facts that she just isn't capable of protecting them alone.

"If we do it cautiously, we can get out of here sooner and leave all our people and less of Roan's unharmed."

Monty comes to a sudden halt and turns back to look at Selia with a panicked expression.

"Wait, Sel, what happens if you don't finish your treatment?"

"I'll be done by then, I've only got a couple more days," Selia lies. Noticing that her voice does not waver, Monty nods in acceptance, relief relaxing his expression.

When they finally reach their exit and Monty has climbed out, Roan stops the young guard before she leaves.

"Why did you lie to him?" he questions, remembering the original duration she told him.

"There's no reason for him to worry about that," she says softly.

"You don't think there will be enough time?"

"If there's enough time for my treatment, more of your people will be dead and mine could be in the same position."

"So, you're just going to die?" The hardened look Roan's worn all night softens just a touch with the furrow of his brows. If Sel didn't know any better, she'd say he actually cared about her survival.

"I was always going to die," she whispers. "This was too good to be true. The price of my own life isn't worth the cost of anyone else's."

* * *

Hello!

I am so sorry for the delay! Honestly, this chapter frustrated the heck out of me! I had this plan that changed up some parts of the show, but as I was writing, it just did not make sense. Like it wasn't feasible at all. So, I trashed it. That is why it took so long to get this out and why there wasn't very much action.

However, the good news is that inspiration hit and I adapted my original ideas for certain parts and came up with a whole new angle for future chapters, so I'm back to being excited!

Well, this one was a bit longer. I'm sorry that there wasn't a lot of new/different things happening. A lot of it was information that we already know from the show, but that I needed them to know for future chapters. Hopefully it was still okay. The next chapter will have more that's different!

Please review and let me know what you think! I seriously cannot explain how much I love reading your feedback. It is so important to me!

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following! Special thanks to my lovely reviewers!

Hope to hear from you,

\- V :)


	22. Chapter 22

"Okay, it's somewhere over here," Selia whispers.

She uses one of the maps in the packet she found in Wallace's office to find the communication lines Monty needs to unjam the radio. Roan follows behind silently after having exhausted Selia with questions about the purpose of saving all the art.

The young guard shines her stolen flashlight on the wall where a painting of what she believes are mountains is hung. Looking down at the map again, she sighs in relief.

"I think this is it," she tells Roan. "Help me move this stuff."

Roan sets the sledgehammer they found earlier down before moving the horse statue that stands in front of the wall while Selia goes for the painting. She unhooks it, but he quickly takes it from her grasp, knowing she needs all her strength for their trek back through the vents.

"Are you sure?" He questions, eyeing the blank wall.

"Well, as sure as I'm ever going to be."

Roan nods and grabs the hammer again. "Let's do this then."

"Okay, I'm going to pull the alarm by the door. You need to time your hits to the blasts so no one hears. And I'm guessing they have a way to know where the alarm originated from, so we probably have less than a minute to make the hole, hide it, and get the hell out."

"Got it," he agrees easily.

Selia heads back to the alarm she discovered earlier and, with a deep breath, yanks it down to set off the blaring noise. She rushes back to find Roan nearly through the brick and she shines the light to see the progress. A third swing opens the wall to reveal several wires.

"Is that what he needs?" Roan asks.

"I hope so," Sel mutters. "Quick, cover it up!"

While Roan hangs the painting over the hole and moves the horse statue back in place, Selia rushes to clean up the debris left on the ground and hide it behind the statue.

"Let's go," Roan orders, grabbing her elbow and lifting her from the ground.

The Grounder drags Selia back to the vent and gives her a boost to climb in first. They can hear the door to the warehouse opening and two different voices echoing through as they secure the vent covering. They crawl as far and fast as they can, dragging the sledgehammer along, before she needs a break. The blaring alarm is cut off while she tries to catch her breath and they can only hope that their hole wasn't found.

"So, that's it for tonight? We wait until tomorrow for the boy to fix the radio?"

"Yeah, we'll get Monty in there so he can unjam it. Once that happens, we contact my people, and we figure out how to get the hell out of this mountain."

"And kill everyone inside it," Roan adds, to which Selia responds with a frown.

"Getting out is the priority, Roan," she reminds him. "Your vengeance can come after."

…

Selia's stomach heaves into the tin bowl for the thousandth time. At this point, she's pretty sure it's only stomach acid being expelled, which only pains her more as it leaves her throat raw. Once the wave of nausea passes, she collapses back in her bed. Her body throbs like she's taken a beating, every move she makes ripples through her to make it worse. She's almost certain her bed spins every time she closes her eyes, too.

"What did you do to her?" Nate demands when Dr. Tsing arrives with a rather panicked nurse.

"Her fever is 101 and rising," the nurse says as both women ignore Miller.

"When did this start?" the doctor questions with an unreadable expression.

"Right after treatment."

"She usually sleeps for hours after, but she woke up right away," Nate adds. He's irritated that no one is answering him, but Selia can hear the concern bleeding from his voice.

Dr. Tsing nods to acknowledge him before returning her attention to the nurse. "What's her blood pressure?"

"It's 90/60 and dropping."

"Selia, are you in pain?"

"Just a little," she croaks quietly.

"She can barely move!" Nate contradicts.

"How does this compare to your usual reaction?"

"It doesn't," Nate answers for her.

"It's not usually like this at all," Sel murmurs before the nausea hits again.

"What can you do to help her?" Nate questions while the young guard vomits.

Dr. Tsing waits until Selia is finished before replying. "There's really nothing to do. We'll keep you on fluids so you stay hydrated, but you just have to ride it out."

"Ride it out?" Nate repeats in disbelief. "She's miserable!"

"I know, I'm sorry," Dr. Tsing says sincerely.

"It's okay," Selia assures, reaching blindly for Miller's hand. "I've felt worse."

It's not a lie. Towards the end before she got to Mount Weather, it felt like she was slowly being tortured from the inside of her body. This pales in comparison, but it still sucks, especially knowing she'll have to crawl through the vents tonight. As sore and sick as she feels, she doesn't even want to roll over, let alone get out of bed and do that.

Selia is confused by the effects of the treatment today. She doesn't think anything changed, but her reaction was kind of violent today. It felt the same during and she fell asleep right after it began as usual. However, she woke up almost immediately after it ended with the pressing need to vomit. She's grown used to the nausea, especially since it doesn't last long, but this endless puking makes her want to rip out her stomach.

She'd be lying if the possibility of being poisoned didn't run through her mind, but she dismissed it quickly. They'd be better off just letting her die than putting in the effort to kill her like that. Still, she can't deny her uneasiness by this sudden change when she knows what they're doing to Grounders and what they did to Jasper.

Suspicion consumes her, and it's only intensified by her worsening reaction.

…

Selia is practically dead on her feet. While Monty works on the radio, she leans against Roan to keep from collapsing. She remembers what it felt like when she was a cadet and the way her muscles remained tight and sore during training. The way her body feels now is a thousand times worse. On the outside, her skin feels burned. Her stomach twists endlessly and she struggles to silence her gagging. And even with the sweater a nurse gave her, she's freezing.

She thought it wasn't as bad as she felt before she got to Mount Weather, but in the past few hours, that started to change. She's steadily closing in on it feeling the exact same and dreads the fact that it may become worse.

Monty, who joined her later after spending most of the day with a sick Jasper, hesitated to do anything tonight. In fact, he even tried to insist that Selia stay in bed and let him take care of it alone. Unfortunately for him, he learned just how stupidly stubborn a Kane can be.

Aside from the pain, Selia's mind is also playing tricks on her. Her vision is blurry and spotted, but that isn't a big deal to her. It's the fact that she's seeing things around every corner that no one else does and losing her train of thought every time she opens her mouth to speak. It's frustrating for Selia to not have any control over her mind. She feels incapacitated and that hurts more than anything.

"How much longer?" Roan demands impatiently. His annoyance masks his concern for the feather-light girl putting all her weight on him. Selia suspects it but doesn't try to comment.

"It's still jammed," Monty mutters, more frustrated than either of them. "It's not working."

"What…uh…what do we need…" Selia sighs tiredly, wanting to hit her head to knock sense into it, but knowing that will just hurt her arm. "What do we do?"

"I need to get into the command center, Sel. It's their coding, I just can't break through it from here."

"We…we can't –"

"We _can_ get in there," Roan interrupts, earning a glare from the guard.

"Well, how?" Monty asks, confused by their disagreement.

"We kill the guard inside," Roan explains. "It's simple."

Selia shakes her head, waiting for Monty to voice their shared disagreement, but the younger boy seems torn. She can see him processing the idea of murdering whatever guard is unlucky enough to be on duty right now. Truth be told, she realizes it's not a simple yes or no decision. Sel has already gone back and forth with the option because Roan suggested it earlier.

They need to get in there and there's no way around the guard. If they kill him, they're in the clear until the end of his shift. She knows it's one life for the forty-six kids and the hundreds of Grounders and there may be a way to do it without arising a lot of suspicion, but Selia doesn't relish in the idea of killing another person. It's one thing to do it in defense, that can be justified with little thought. This isn't so black and white, so she struggles to decide if it's right.

She understands that Monty now faces the same dilemma and it kills her knowing that she put him in this position.

"If that's what we have to do…"

Selia's eyes close in vexation. She'd throw up if there was anything left in her body.

"That's two against one, Selia," Roan clarifies as if she doesn't understand.

"Sel, it's the only way we can talk to the Ark."

"It's risky," she mumbles weakly.

"I think it might be necessary," Monty returns with a solemn expression.

"Not tonight…we…we need to…think it through."

They both nod in agreement, though she suspects they're doing so for Selia's sake and not because they actually want to give it more thought. Either way, she can't bring herself to care. She can't think about this anymore tonight and if she doesn't get back to her hospital room soon, they're going to have to drag her through the vents.

…

Selia's recovery from her fourth treatment is nonexistent. She thinks she'll feel fine the next morning, but when it comes, she feels worse. It doesn't help that she barely got any sleep from her pain and all-around sickness. She's miserable and only manages to bring Roan her uneaten dinner that night. She was barely able to have a conversation with him, let alone make a plan for getting inside the command center.

With her exhaustion intensifying, she was able to sleep more last night, but it was far from sound. Fortunately, she did figure out a way to keep her mind focused long enough to come up with a plan on her own. Staring at the crisp white ceiling, it provides zero distractions or opportunity for hallucinations. She's able to plot a way to make the murder they're going to commit look like an accident to avoid any unwanted suspicion.

Unfortunately, the plan she has no interest in following through with doesn't do anything to lessen her nausea.

Hours feel like days as she struggles to get through this new wave of her illness. She gets to a point where, if she were in space, she would beg to be floated just to get it to stop. It isn't the pain or the total discomfort that's making it unbearable, it's the fact that there doesn't seem to be an end in sight.

Her loud groan of frustration is interrupted by an urgent knock on the door.

Monty, Jasper, and Maya rush into her hospital room as Selia painfully forces herself to sit up straight.

"Hey, guys…" she trails off as she takes in their expressions. Monty gives her a pointed look that she takes as warning before turning to the other two.

"Maya just told us something you need to know," Jasper says.

Selia glances at Monty again and he nods to confirm that this conversation is going exactly where she thinks.

"What is it?"

A teary-eyed Maya suddenly explains things that Selia and Monty already know, and it leaves the young guard completely speechless. She never expected one of the mountain people to actually admit to their wrongdoings. She never expected one of them to feel bad about what they're doing.

"Maya wants to help," Jasper defends, believing Selia's silence is because she's angry.

Sel isn't angry, but she doesn't exactly trust Maya's intentions. She only knows the girl from what others have told her. She seems like a nice person and she understands that using Grounders to survive is a way of a life she didn't choose. There were things Selia didn't like on the Ark, but she didn't know any differently. She hadn't made the choice, but she still lived that life.

However, Selia's understanding of Maya's position does little to ease her caution.

"Why are you telling us?" she questions. "Why should we trust that you want to help us, Maya?"

"My mom was against the treatments, she thought they were wrong," Maya begins to explain softly. "She died refusing them."

Selia swallows the lump in her throat, her distrusting gaze softening with sympathy.

"My dad was against it too, they fought it, but once she died, he stopped. He didn't want to leave me without parents," she continues. "You get used to it, you pretend it's not happening, you justify it, and it's easy because you don't know them. The Grounders are our enemies, they don't even seem like real people. But then I found out the breech wasn't an accident…"

"And?" Selia presses gently.

"And I realized that you and your people are next. I realized just how horrible these treatments are and I'm terrified they're going to kill you all for it."

"They _are_ going to kill us all," Monty spits.

"I want to help you guys. I don't know how, but I will do whatever I can," Maya vows, the tremor in her voice changing from sadness to determination.

Selia considers the younger girl for a long time, searching her face for even a sliver of dishonesty. When the guard's instincts assure her that Maya is sincere, she nods in approval.

"I'm not going to condemn you for these treatments, Maya. I understand it's what's kept you alive and that it's just a way of life that you've learned to not question. But you're right, they're horrible – evil even," Selia tells her. "The Grounders were our enemies too, but we recognized that they were like us. They want to live just like the rest of us. Our ways of life, our morals even, may be different, but we all want to survive."

Maya nods in agreement, the tears still shining in her eyes.

"But these treatments, they are not the way. Not with my people or the Grounders. You do understand that, right?"

"I do."

"And what that means?"

"Yes."

Selia looks to Monty who still seems hesitant, but he trusts the older girl's judgement.

"Well, Monty and I have some things we need to share with both of you."

…

Roan is furious when he finds out that Maya knows. Their whispered argument inside the vents exhausts Selia, but she continues trying to convince the Grounder that she made the right decision. Convincing Nate and Harper after Monty brought them to her room had been easy because they trusted her. Even getting Jasper to understand the justification for Monty and her working on things behind his back had been easier than this conversation.

"What are you going to do when she decides that she doesn't want to lose her blood supply and turns on us?" Roan demands, his anger heating the small enclosure.

"She's not going to turn on us."

The Grounder nearly growls in frustration. "You are so soft! How you've survived this long, I will never understand."

Selia's tired eyes harden with a glare. "I'm not soft."

"Really? You gave the _enemy_ every bit of information we have just so you didn't have to kill one of them."

"That is not why I told her," Selia argues. "Not having to kill the guard is just a perk. Think about it, Monty can get in and out without arising even an ounce of suspicion because Maya will already have the room cleared for decontamination."

"Why did you tell her?" Roan presses expectantly, ignoring the fact she feels is so important.

"Because I trust her –"

"How can you trust her?" he growls. "You had one conversation with her! Your weakness is going to get us killed."

"My hesitation in not condemning every person in this mountain and killing them is going to save us," she hisses in return. "Maya has a lot of security clearance with her job."

"I don't care what _Maya_ has. She's one of them. I don't trust her."

"You don't have to, just trust me," Selia pleads. When Roan just remains silent and continues to glare at her, she rolls her eyes. "Fine. Don't trust me. Either way, you don't really have a choice. She's already helping us."

"Tell me the plan again," he grumbles, glancing away from her scowl.

"Tomorrow, Maya is going to decontaminate the command center during the day. Monty is going to hide in the vents to get inside and unjam the radio frequencies. Jasper, Nate, and Harper are going to 'volunteer' to give their blood. I'm getting treatment tomorrow morning and won't be able to leave my room while they're working on the radio, so you and I are going to go record a message and put it on a loop with the directions Monty gave me," Selia explains quickly.

"Your friends aren't going to talk to your people without you?" Roan questions.

"I don't think so, why?" she returns in confusion.

"I don't trust that they'll make the same deal for my people that you will."

Selia nods, understanding his concern, especially after seeing her friends' reactions to her alliance with Roan. They were just as cautious as he is now, the only difference being their complete trust in the young guard.

"They will, Roan. I promise."

…

Selia doesn't have any time to wonder how the plan is going for the others the following day. She'd love to have her thoughts entirely consumed during her fifth treatment, but no such luck.

Any hope that the reaction to the fourth treatment was a fluke is abandoned just minutes after she finishes. She's brought back to consciousness by her immediate nausea and soon she's in a worse state than the last time. Out of concern and confusion, Dr. Tsing has Selia's blood drawn for testing and a few hours of misery later, returns with a bewildered expression.

"Are you up for a walk, Selia, or would you like a wheelchair?"

"I can walk," the young guard insists weakly, swallowing her grimace as she struggles to climb out of bed.

Dr. Tsing wants to show her something and Selia's heart thumps nervously as she follows slowly behind her. The horrible thought of Monty and Roan being caught and locked in cages enters her mind long enough that she begins to doubt her trust in Maya. However, when they arrive in the sickroom and she sees her friends resting in beds as they recover from their donation, she's relieved. Jasper is sitting in between two beds and, aside from his concern for Selia, seems otherwise okay.

He gives her a questioning look, moving to stand, but she shakes her head as reassurance. She doesn't know what she's going to be shown, but there's no sense in worrying him.

The doctor beckons for her to continue following and leads her into the small lab attached to the room. She uses her key card to open the doors which seal once Selia enters.

"Have a seat here, Selia," Dr. Tsing says, gesturing to a stool.

The young guard hesitates but does what she says. She sits in front of a microscope that the doctor flicks on and places a slide under to view.

"Go ahead and take a look in the scope."

With an uncertain look, Selia leans forward to examine the slide. Under the light, she sees what she can only assume are cells. The live organisms are red and blue, but the red seem to be eating the blue ones until there are none left. It happens rapidly, and with a blink of the eye, it's over.

"The red cells are healthy and injected with the serum used in your treatment. The blue cells are cancerous. This is an example of what _should_ happen inside your body. The healthy cells destroy the sick ones," Dr. Tsing explains as she switches out the slide. "Have another look."

Under the second slide, she sees cells of the same colors. Again, the red cells absorb the blue, but it happens incredibly slow. While the red cells look almost like they're struggling to destroy the blue, the cancerous cells are multiplying. It's one step forward and two steps back.

"These are cells from your blood sample, Selia," Dr. Tsing says. "As you can see, with the serum, your cells _are_ destroying the cancer. However, the rate they're going at…"

"Is too slow," Sel murmurs.

"Exactly," Dr. Tsing sighs. "The longer it takes to destroy the cancer, the more time it has to increase, which poses a serious problem."

Selia releases a breathy, humorless chuckle. _Of course_ , she thinks, _why would it work like normal? That would be too easy._

"Why is this happening?" she questions.

"I'm not a hundred percent sure, but I suspect it actually has something to do with being born and raised in space."

The sick guard's face crumples in confusion. "How?"

"Well, your body, your genetics really, have adapted so much to the dangers of living up there. Just an example is your ability to process radiation without any harm to your system. Basically, your body has become strong enough to survive certain conditions and, like your body, the cancer you've inherited from your mother has become just as resilient." Dr. Tsing explains. "This may be why chemotherapy hasn't been able to save anyone in space."

"I don't understand," Selia admits.

"The cancer is so highly adaptable that the dose of serum can't destroy it as fast as it reproduces. The important thing that was seen in that slide, however, is that the serum _can_ destroy the cancer."

"So, it can still cure me, I just need more than ten treatments?"

Dr. Tsing shakes her head. "Unfortunately, Selia, you don't have the time for ten treatments, let alone more."

"Right," she murmurs. _There's that clock again._

"I do have an idea, though," the doctor continues. "It's drastic and completely uncertain, but if I'm being honest, time for action is now."

"What is it?" Selia asks, but her hope is dwindling fast.

Selia is ready to give up her treatment and, in turn, her life to protect the rest of her people, but it would be a lie to say there wasn't a part of her hoping beyond hope that she can survive with them. Now, seeing what's going on inside of her body, that small piece of hope is fading.

"We double the dosage in each of your injections for the sixth treatment. My theory is that it will overwhelm the cancer and give your healthy cells a fighting chance."

"What happens if your theory is wrong?"

"Well, we are essentially overdosing you. We need it to overwhelm your system to work, but if it does it too much, you could die."

Selia chuckles darkly again. "Basically, I'm back to where I started on the Ark. Either the cancer will kill me or the treatment will."

"No," Dr. Tsing argues. "I am confident that we would be able to counteract the reaction to being overdosed. Since we know what's happening, we'll be prepared. So, that isn't the part I'm worried about at all."

"Okay…"

"I'm less confident on it working the way we want," the doctor confesses. "But we should still try."

Selia releases a frustrated sigh. It doesn't matter what the doctor says, this is the spot the guard found herself on the Ark. It's just a treatment that doesn't work, a whole lot of risk, and a fast-ticking clock to constantly remind her that she's running out of time.

"I know it sounds dangerous, Selia, but it's in your best interest to give it a shot."

The sick girl glances through the glass wall separating her from her friends. She can see that Jasper has been watching the entire time and looks extremely worried. Selia knows she needs to make sure he and the others stay calm. She'll have to continue lying about the state of her illness because they're under enough stress. So, she forces a weak smile and turns back to the doctor.

"Can I think about it?"

Selia needs to consider the potential risks and how it may affect her ability to get the kids out of this mountain. If she continues to be this miserable after treatments, there is no way she'll be able to help. If she doesn't continue, she'll probably rapidly deteriorate and die before the remaining hundred have a chance. She needs to figure out what's best for them, not what's best for her.

"Of course," Dr. Tsing says hesitantly. "But you'll need to decide in the next forty-eight hours."

"Okay," Selia murmurs.

The young guard thinks she may know which decision is the best for her people, but she just can't say so yet.

* * *

Hello!

Poor Sel really can't catch a break. Getting cured couldn't be that easy!

My goal was to get this out in a week, but it flew by! I really didn't realize I missed my own deadline, so I apologize for that.

I just have to say that the feedback for the last chapter was so great! After being so stuck before getting the last chapter out, it really meant a lot to read all the reviews! I really appreciate it! Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, too!

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following! Special thanks to my awesome reviewers!

Hope to hear from you,

\- V :)


	23. Chapter 23

_"I'm just so sore," Selia whines as she peels her jacket off and collapses on the couch._

 _"You know, you could slow down," Bellamy suggests. He sits on the opposite end and pulls Selia's legs over his lap. "You don't have to be the best at everything."_

 _She scoffs, "I don't know what you're talking about."_

 _"No?" He smirks in amusement as he begins to massage the tension from her calves. "So, you don't push yourself further just to come in first?"_

" _Of course not," she fibs. She holds up the leg he isn't rubbing, "This one has a knot in it."_

 _Bellamy chuckles, his smile warming Selia's chest like normal. "Let me help you with that."_

 _His fingers deftly work out the kinks in her muscles while she sighs contented. When her legs no longer hurt to move, she crawls to sit in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck._

 _"What would I do without you?"_

 _She combs her fingers through his hair. Selia likes the days when it's unruly like this even though he hates it. It gives her more reason to play with it._

 _"Well, if I have any say in it, you'll never have to find out, Sel."_

 _"Good," she murmurs with a loving smile. She brushes her lips against his teasingly. "That's how I want it, too."_

…

"I don't understand, Selia," Dr. Tsing says stiffly.

"I don't want to continue treatment," she repeats.

It's been days since they got the message out, but there's still no response from the Ark. Selia is still holding out a great deal of hope, mostly because they have no other options, and someone must keep the others going.

"You will die if you don't."

"I know."

"So, how can you possibly make this decision?"

"I've already made this decision once before, Dr. Tsing. It's not that difficult for me."

"I'm sorry," the woman says, struggling to remain passive. She almost seems angry. "This is unnecessary. We have a cure for you –"

"One that isn't working."

"It will work, we just need to try a different dosage," she snips.

"That's your theory. Look, I appreciate what you've done for me, more than you know, but it's just not worth the pain."

"The pain will be over soon."

"Dr. Tsing," Selia begins with a deep breath. "It's not just the physical pain. My entire family is gone. My parents are dead, my grandmother, my best friends. I just don't have a reason to suffer through this anymore."

It's a lie, of course. She can't tell Dr. Tsing that she's refusing treatment to lengthen the time she has the capacity to fight against them. If she continues, the side effects will keep her bed-ridden when the kids need her most. Denying it will shorten her life substantially and she imagines she will feel the way she did before arriving in Mount Weather quite soon, but at least she has her faculties for the time being.

The truth is that the decision was a lot harder than she'll ever admit. She doesn't want to die and the prospect of living has given her time to think about what she wants for the future. In a perfect world, she'd be reunited with her dad and her friends. She'd be a guard again, working with Evan every day. She'd be joking and arguing with Raven. She'd be worrying about Clarke.

And she'd start over with Bellamy.

But it's not a perfect world and getting the kids out of here is more important.

"I'm sorry for your losses," Dr. Tsing tells her, seeming insincere. Something in her expression, much like Cage Wallace's, sends a chill down her spine. "I hope you'll change your mind."

Selia isn't sure why the woman cares so much about her survival. She can't imagine it's worth the trouble to cure her just to use her blood later. But if the kids from the hundred are expendable to them, why is the doctor arguing about the guard's survival?

…

"This is Selia Kane contacting the Ark from Mount Weather. I'm here with forty-seven kids from the hundred. We need your help," the guard repeats tiredly. "Please pick up."

"What happens if none of your people answer?" Roan asks.

"They'll answer," she insists.

The Grounder sighs while Selia repeats her message into the radio. They've been in the warehouse all night. Just like last night and the night before, they wait for a response to no avail. She's becoming discouraged and struggling to hide it from Roan. She just thought it would be easier. They would be listening at Alpha Station, answer right away, and help her with a plan to save everyone before it's too late.

Too bad nothing is ever that simple.

"You're going to have to go back soon," Roan reminds her as he holds up the watch Maya lent them after sharing when the nurses did their rounds.

"I know," she sighs.

She stares at the radio in desperation as doubt clouds her mind. She saw the Ark and her father in those pictures. She's stubbornly held onto the belief that Bellamy and the others are alive, that Clarke successfully escaped this mountain and survived. Hope has kept her going, but now she's wondering if she has just been blind.

"Are you ready?"

"Just one more try," she murmurs. "This is Selia Kane contacting the Ark from Mount Weather. We need your help. Please pick up… _please_ answer."

Ten minutes lapses in silence while Selia's heart sinks lower.

"We're not going to have a lot of time to get back."

Exhaling in frustration, she nods to Roan to say they're done for now.

The young guard hides the radio inside the wall while Roan grabs the painting to cover the hole. Just as Selia straightens the frame and he moves the horse statue, the radio quietly crackles. They both freeze at the sound, waiting with baited breath.

"Selia?"

The voice is muffled by the painting that Roan hurries to take off, but she recognizes it anyway. Tears fill her eyes as her breath comes out in a shudder. When she doesn't move, the Grounder hands her the radio with a questioning look.

"Selia? Are you there?"

"Raven?" Her voice trembles as she chokes back a sob. "I knew you couldn't be dead."

"That's what I'm supposed to say," the mechanic laughs tearfully.

"God, I'm so sorry, Raven. I shouldn't have left the way I did. And I should have been there for you. I would have killed Murphy before he ever had the chance to hurt you," Selia rambles until she runs out of breath. She can't control the rush of her words. "Are you okay? How bad is it?"

"Sel, it's okay. I'm just so glad to hear your voice and that you found a cure –"

"We don't have time for this," Roan grumbles, waving the watch.

The young guard scowls, suddenly regretting that she taught him how to tell time.

"Who is that?" Raven demands.

"His name is Roan, he's helping us," Selia explains. "I'm sorry, but we don't have a lot of time. I have to get back to my room before the nurse comes to check on me."

Sel tries to explain everything as quickly as possible, but she barely gets into it when the watch beeps quietly to tell them they've completely run out of time.

"Crap," she mutters, swallowing her anxiety. "The most important thing right now is that you need to make an alliance with the Grounders. Go to their commander, her name is Lexa. Tell her the only way we can save our people and hers is if we work together. Tell her I'm already working with Roan of Azgeda. She'll know who he is."

"O-okay…" Raven agrees without argument. However, something in her voice worries Selia. She wants to ask what's wrong, but if they don't get back in time, all of this is for naught.

"Can we talk more tomorrow night?"

"Yeah, I'll stay close to the radio."

"Okay, I'll talk to you then," she says in a rush when she sees Roan already holding the painting to hang again. "Can you tell my dad I love him? And tell Bellamy…"

"Tell Bellamy what?"

Selia thinks of all the things she shouldn't have left unsaid.

 _Tell him I miss him. I want to be with him. I love him._

"Tell him I'm sorry."

…

Selia made a grave mistake staying past their set alarm. Maya told her the nurses' shifts for a reason and she should have been smart enough to listen.

When she returns to her hospital room, she finds it full. The nurse on the nightshift is there, an annoyed Dr. Tsing, the stony-faced guard who lied about Raven being dead, and a worried Cage. Selia stands in the doorway, gaping like a fish as she comes down from the high from speaking to her best friend. She rapidly tries to make up an excuse for where she was but runs out of time when they all turn to stare at her with suspicion.

"Selia, where have you been?" Cage asks. "We've been concerned."

"I was talking to my friend," she murmurs.

"We have men stationed near the dorms. No one has come or gone," the guard, Emerson, says.

"They must have missed me. I'm pretty quiet," Selia quips. She turns a softer gaze towards Cage, hoping their strange relationship will work in her favor.

"Are you sure it was covered?" the younger Wallace questions of his guard.

"Yes, sir."

Cage sighs, "Selia, you can be honest. We just want to ensure your safety."

"I'm being honest. And I'm back in my room, _safe_."

"She's lying," Dr. Tsing tells them with a scoff. "If you're willing to let go of your infatuation with the girl, we can do with her what we should have from the very beginning."

"What are you talking about?" Selia demands. "I'm not lying."

"We've had people out searching for you for hours. You weren't with your friends, so what have you been doing?" Emerson questions with a challenging glare.

"What _have_ you been doing?" Cage reiterates.

"Why are you all so paranoid? And what exactly were you going to do to me in the beginning?" she throws back.

That isn't the right way to respond. It seems to answer their question more than she realizes. However, Selia picks up on the way the air tenses around her. Emerson stiffens, his muscles coiling, and alarm bells begin to go off in her head. They obviously have realized that she knows their secrets, or at least knows parts of them, but she has no idea what they're going to do to her. The young guard has been trained to assess situations just like this and have a correct reaction. Unfortunately, the unarmed, sickly girl only has one possible way to react.

"I think we need to talk." Cage takes a step forward and Selia automatically measures the shorter distance between them.

"I'll talk," she says, flexing the nonexistent muscles in her legs. "But not without your father."

"Selia –"

Her name barely leaves his lips when she turns the other way and runs. All she needs is a way into the vents to hide from them and regroup. She can get back to the radio and tell Raven that things just got a lot more urgent. As long as the Ark knows something is wrong, she doesn't have to be afraid of what they'll do.

If only she was fast enough to get away.

Emerson's arms encircle her body with ease, pulling her back against his chest.

"Let me go!"

Selia kicks and screams as she's carried back to the hospital room. His muscled arms hold her in a vice, bruising her skin and digging into her bones. She struggles as hard as she possibly can, desperate to get away, but she's too weak.

Once inside the room again, the man throws her on the bed. The nurse is there to hold her down while straps are pulled up from underneath the frame.

"What are you doing?" she yells.

One is secured over her chest and upper arms. Dr. Tsing and Cage have to help the nurse to strap Selia's legs to the bed because she's kicking so much. She struggles against the restraints, using every ounce of energy she has, but it's useless.

"Let me out of here! What the hell is wrong with you people?"

"I thought you said her memory wouldn't come back," Cage hisses.

"I never said that," Dr. Tsing snaps in return. "I said there's a good chance it might not with her head injury and the effects of the treatment."

Another nurse enters the room as they argue, carrying a tray of syringes. Fear has Selia's heart racing so fast that her chest aches. She knows this isn't good. She might be able to figure a way out of the straps, but she can't fight an injection.

"What are you going to do?" Selia demands.

"I'm going to sedate you so you'll be quiet," Dr. Tsing quips. "Then, we're going to finish your treatment."

"Call me when she's out," Cage sighs. He glances longingly at the young woman, causing her stomach to twist in disgust, before he exits the room with Emerson on his heels.

The night nurse tries to insert an I.V., but Selia won't stop moving.

"Why are you treating me if you're just going to kill us all?"

The other nurse comes to hold her arm down so the needle can be inserted. She's held so tightly that her elbow pops and she knows that their fingers will imprint her skin with purple bruises.

"I don't want you dead, Selia," Dr. Tsing says. The needle pierces her vein and the I.V. tube is taped to her arm. "You'll be of great use to us once you're cancer free."

"What are you talking about? I thought the treatment wasn't even working," she growls.

"The treatment is working fine." Dr. Tsing gives a chilling smile. "I obviously knew that your body would metabolize the serum faster than normal. We increase the dosage with each treatment. You're nearly double just halfway through."

"Why would you tell me it wasn't working then?"

"I needed you to tell your friends so they wouldn't be surprised when you were unconscious and unable to have visitors. I can't get the things I need done with those kids hanging around every day."

"What exactly do you plan on doing?" Selia presses in disgust.

"You are a surprisingly smart girl. You already know what your friends can do for us. Soon, we'll be able to go to the ground," the woman beams. "But I am a scientist and I'd like to be prepared for anything we may face."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"You're an experiment, Selia," she answers plainly. "Cage didn't want you dead, so I came up with a good use for you. I plan to test the capabilities of your immunity to radiation before risking our own."

"You're a psychopath," Selia hisses.

"I'm a doctor," she corrects.

"You didn't have to do any of this," the young guard says. "You didn't have to kidnap kids and lie and manipulate them. We would have willingly helped you."

Dr. Tsing nods to the nurse by Selia's I.V. and the other woman takes one of the syringes and injects it into the tube.

"You don't have to hurt them. We can figure something else out," she pleads as her panic rises.

"Don't worry, Selia," the doctor assures. "By the time you wake up, you won't ever have to be concerned for those kids again."

"What are you talking about? What did you do?"

Selia's questions go unanswered as she begins to feel the effects of what was in the syringe. Her panicked heart slows and her body grows heavy. Her eyelids droop despite her brain begging her body to stay awake.

"P-please," Selia murmurs in a last-ditch effort, but it's no use.

Once again, her whole world goes black.

…

Bellamy is ready to collapse. The whole weight of the world is on his shoulders and he isn't sure how much more he can handle.

Finn is gone. He tried so hard to save him, but it couldn't be done. He never should have left him out there. He should have dragged him back to camp because he knew Finn was emotionally unstable. The spacewalker wasn't a murderer. He didn't set out to massacre that village. Desperate people do desperate things, but Bellamy should have been there to anchor his friend.

Then, he watched Raven get tortured for a crime she didn't commit. He couldn't stop that either. Without Clarke, the mechanic would be dead, and they'd all be haunted by the image of knives carving into her skin. If she had died, Bellamy isn't sure what he would have done. They had become friends since Selia snuck out of camp, bonding over their love for the guard. It would destroy the girl he loves to lose Raven and that would destroy Bellamy for good.

The worst part of it all is Selia's absence. He was relieved and crushed all at once when Raven woke him up to hear her message. He hadn't slept at all, but after Lincoln survived being a Reaper, he couldn't keep his eyes open. He couldn't believe that he missed the chance to hear her voice again. He wanted to hear for himself that she's okay. And he wanted to ask her why she was sorry. Raven promised that he'd get his chance the following night, so Bellamy held tightly to that.

Only, Selia didn't come back that night. Or any night since.

It has been days with nothing but radio silence. Bellamy knows something is very wrong. He feels like a caged animal unable to do anything or get any answers. He wants to go inside Mount Weather, but Clarke shot down that idea. If something doesn't change within the next few hours, however, Bellamy is going to make his own decisions, everyone else be damned.

Hours after Gustus was executed, Bellamy is staring at the fire and trying to figure out their next step. He isn't confident about this alliance, but even Selia insisted it was necessary. He just wishes she was here to share her own ideas. She would know what to do on this side, and if she didn't, she would make them all feel better anyway.

"Guys!" Raven's shout startles the others as she rushes over to the fire to sit beside Bellamy.

"Is this the Ark? Raven?" An unfamiliar male voice comes through the radio. "This is Roan."

"That's the Grounder Sel is working with," Raven tells them.

"Roan is of the Ice Nation," Lexa adds as she and Clarke join them. "I thought you were wrong when you mentioned their alliance."

"Ark, come in," the man orders. "I think something happened to Selia."

"Answer him," Bellamy commands.

"Roan, this is Raven," she responds quickly. "What's wrong? Why hasn't Selia come back to the radio?"

"I don't know what's wrong," the man says. "Selia hasn't come to me since we talked to you. She comes to the vents every night, but I haven't seen her. I thought maybe she was too sick, she didn't tell you about the issue with her treatment, but if that happened, that boy, Monty, would have come. I haven't seen him at all either."

"Have you looked for her at all?"

"Yes, I found her. I found her room through the vents," he explains. "I thought she was just sleeping at first, but she hasn't moved at all. Not in days. And she's being restrained."

"Restrained how?" Bellamy demands.

Roan hesitates to answer, probably surprised by his voice, but continues quickly. "She's strapped to the bed."

"She could be in a coma," Clarke mutters.

"A forced one," Octavia amends.

Bellamy jumps to his feet, his hands balling into fists with frustration. Fear crushes his lungs as he considers all the horrible things that could be happening to the girl he loves.

"I'm going in there," he decides. "We're done waiting."

 _He's_ done waiting. He refuses to spend anymore time without Selia. He's going in there to save his people, as his worry for all the kids is suffocating, but it would be a lie to say that Sel isn't his top priority. Bellamy is going to save her and then he is going to do everything he can to make sure he gets to spend the rest of his life loving her.

* * *

Hi!

Okay, I hope you aren't mad at me. I know the last chapter was short and I hate that this chapter was even shorter, but I was struggling. I know this wasn't the best, but hopefully you still liked it and thought it was interesting... Also, I miss Sel and Bellamy together so I put in that little memory just for the heck of it.

Originally, I intended for Selia to have more time to talk to everyone on the radio. I was going to have Raven tell her what was going on with Finn, but it just didn't come out well that way. I also wanted Selia to talk to Bellamy on the radio, but then I decided to go a different route.

I know some of you have been wanting to see what's going on at Camp Jaha, but the only reason I haven't written that is because it wasn't any different than what was happening on the show. Hopefully the last part of the chapter explained the time frame, I'm sorry if it got confusing at all.

So, for those of you who thought Dr. Tsing's character in this story was weird because she was no good in the show, you were right to think that. She always had ulterior motives!

And Bellamy has decided to go into Mount Weather, so guess what that means is going to happen in the next chapter... :)

Anyway, I'm sorry for the long-winded note, for the short chapter, and the long wait. I hope you enjoyed it despite all of that! Please review and let me know what you think! I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following. Special thanks to my awesome reviewers!

Hope to hear from you,

\- V :)


	24. Chapter 24

_Bellamy opens his eyes to see the blue sky above growing lighter. He shoots up to a sitting position, startled to find himself not inside Mount Weather, but at the beach._

 _He climbs to his feet in a rush, crumpling the blanket he's been sleeping on, and kicking white sand everywhere. The ocean is directly in front of him, waves kissing the shore just a few feet from where he stands. The sun is rising in the sky, telling him it's still early morning._

 _He has no idea how he got here, but it's not long before a familiar voice brings answers._

 _"Aw, I was hoping the water would wake you!" Selia's voice is full of laughter as Bellamy spins around so fast that he gets tangled in the blanket and almost trips._

 _"Sel," he murmurs in surprise._

 _She's walking towards him with a breath-taking smile, looking healthy as ever. She's gained her weight back so she's no longer bones and bruised skin. Her color is back, she isn't dragging her feet, and there isn't a trace of exhaustion in her bright eyes._

 _"I found some fruit for breakfast," she says as she tosses something to him. "I think it's a nectarine, but who knows?"_

 _"How'd we get here?" Bellamy asks as he desperately tries to remember what happened._

 _Selia gives him a strange look. "How'd we get here? I think you're still asleep, Bell."_

 _"No, I – I just can't remember…" he mutters._

 _Selia stops in front of him, shaking her head with a bewildered and amused look. "You need to wake up."_

 _"I'm awake," he argues._

 _She grabs his arm with warm fingers and shakes him roughly as her expression grows harsh and serious. "Wake up! Wake up!"_

"Wake up!" A deep voice orders. "Wake up!"

Bellamy's eyes pop open suddenly to find he's no longer at the beach. He's inside Mount Weather with all the caged Grounders. Only now he's gazing at the prison upside down because he's hung by his ankles. He peers around in confusion, struggling to see clearly from all the blood settled in his head, but the man who woke him comes into view.

"Are you Bellamy?" The man asks in a gruff whisper.

He doesn't answer as he stares at the stranger. The other man is dressed in a yellow gown, but the long hair and tattooed face suggest that he's a Grounder.

"I'm Roan," he adds.

Bellamy tries to nod in understanding but struggles to move his head in his position. "Mind getting me down, Roan?"

The stoic man doesn't respond as he moves to unlatch the cuffs holding Bellamy's ankles. Roan supports his weight partially so he won't just drop to the ground, but his stiff body still hits the concrete with a bite.

"You're an idiot," Roan says plainly. Bellamy turns a confused glare on the man. "I was going to get you out of the cage, but then you had to act crazy. You could have completely avoided the bloodletting if you'd listened to Echo."

Echo, who's still in her cage and watching the whole interaction, scoffs. Bellamy notices that she's also glaring at Roan, even as the man shoots her a warning look.

"Where's Selia?" Bellamy demands, ignoring the silent conversation between the two Grounders.

"The same place she was before," Roan answers. He offers his hand to help Bellamy up, but the chime alerts them to a door being unlocked. "Get down!"

Bellamy falls back on the ground and closes his eyes to pretend he's unconscious. He isn't sure where Roan goes to hide, but he can't risk a peek because he hears boots tapping against the concrete as someone walks towards him.

He feels the person stop beside him and struggles to keep his heartbeat steady since he's still attached to the monitor.

"What the hell?" The person, a man, mutters.

Bellamy cracks open his eyes enough to see a Mount Weather guard squatting by his feet and examining the ankle cuffs that Roan removed. He knows that in a few moments the guard will figure out that he's conscious, so he takes advantage of their positions. He kicks the man in the face with his bare foot, sending him flying backwards.

The guard reacts quickly as he reaches for the gun, but Bellamy is faster. He tackles the man and manages to disarm him. However, being sedated, hung upside down, and drained of blood slows Bellamy enough that he loses the upper hand. One good punch disorients him enough that the guard gets on top of him. The Mountain Man wraps his hands around Bellamy's neck to cut off his air while he struggles beneath him.

As he is kicking the guard and trying to pry his hands off, the man is suddenly ripped away and thrown to the ground. Bellamy sits up in shock to see Roan has saved him, but there's no pause as the Grounder begins beating the guard. He hits him over and over until the mountain person stops fighting back and his unconscious body slumps on the concrete.

"That's enough," Bellamy orders when Roan hits him again.

Roan glances back with narrowed eyes, "No, it's not."

Before Bellamy can reply, the Grounder twists the guard's neck, taking his life with a simple snap.

"This is just the first one," Roan spits.

Bellamy nods stiffly, "Help me get him undressed."

As they move to strip the body, a different door starts to open. Bellamy dives for the gun and has it aimed at the next intruder before they're even revealed. When a girl in a pink sweater comes through hesitantly, her eyes widening in terror and her hands shooting up in innocence, his stomach twists at the prospect of killing her.

"Don't shoot her," Roan says. "That's Maya."

The tension in his shoulders relaxes minutely as he lowers the weapon and Maya lowers her hands as well. The terror doesn't lessen in her gaze, however, as she notices the dead guard.

"He came in while Roan was getting me down," Bellamy explains softly.

Clarke told him about Maya. They didn't get off to a good start, but she easily won over Jasper. Over the radio, Roan explained that she had helped them, so she is supposed to be trusted. But Bellamy waits on edge because he doesn't know how much she'll want to help now that she sees one of her people dead in between the two men.

Maya visibly swallows the lump in her throat as she nods in acceptance. "Are you Bellamy?"

"Yeah," he murmurs as his fingers loosen on the gun.

"Once Dr. Tsing realizes the patient is done with her treatment, another guard will come in, so we have to get out of here," Maya tells him shakily.

"Okay," Bellamy nods, glancing back at the guard. "I need his clothes and we need to get rid of the body."

Maya doesn't reply as she moves with Bellamy towards the body and silently begins removing his uniform. He looks up at Roan who has stepped away to let them work, but he just stares back blankly. He's surprised that the Grounder has accepted Maya's help and Bellamy can only guess that Selia is the one who convinced him to do it.

"How did you know about me?" he asks while he removes the guard's boots and pants.

"After I found out about Selia, I went looking for Roan to see if he was okay," Maya explains as she unbuttons the guard's shirt. "He told me that he contacted the Ark and that you were coming."

"What happened to Selia?" Bellamy presses. Just the mention of her name forces every other concern to the back of his mind.

"Nothing happened to her, not really, but they've had her sedated to keep her unconscious for days. They're saying it's because of complications with her treatment dosages, but it's just a lie."

"They told her the treatment wasn't working," Roan adds. "They knocked her out because they know she knows what they're doing."

Maya nods. "Obviously, they don't know everything. They don't know about Roan or the radio, but they must have figured something out. She could've been too late getting back to her room and someone found out she was gone."

"But she's safe?"

"For now," she mutters. The girl looks Bellamy in the eye, her anxiety clear. "But your friends are disappearing. Harper went missing the same morning they started sedating Selia. And the last time anyone saw Monty was when he was headed to Selia's room to talk about Harper."

Bellamy's already high sense of urgency multiplies with the news. He hurries to dress in the dead man's clothes so he'll be able to walk around hopefully unnoticed. He only pauses when Echo speaks up, questioning Roan in their native language. Bellamy and Maya glance at each other, the former suspicious and the latter surprised.

"What are you saying?" Bellamy demands.

The Grounders ignore them and finish what sounds like a heated discussion.

"She's asking if the alliance is real and if it has something to do with me working with Selia," Roan finally answers.

"And you said?"

"He said yes," Echo tells him.

Bellamy nods, unable to completely dispel his skepticism, but he reminds himself that Selia trusts Roan, so he should too.

Once he's finished dressing in the entire uniform and sends the body down the chute that Roan says Clarke escaped through, Maya asks him about their plan.

"I need to get to the radio to contact Clarke," Bellamy says. "But first I need to see Selia."

…

Bellamy didn't realize just how tight the vice on his heart was because of Selia's absence until it loosens at the sight of her.

She doesn't look like she did in his dreams, but she does look way better than the last time he saw her. Color has started to return to her skin and even though he knows she's being sedated, it's a relief to see her sleeping painlessly.

"Can we wake her up?" he asks, reaching for her hand. "Will that hurt her?"

"It shouldn't," Maya says. "But if they see she's awake, they'll choose a more heavy-duty drug."

"How long have they been keeping her this way?"

"Five days."

"Why are they doing this in the first place?" Bellamy questions. "If she knows their secrets and they don't want her doing anything, why would they go to this trouble?"

"I really don't know," Maya admits. "Dr. Tsing must have a plan. Or maybe it has something to do with Cage Wallace."

"Who's Cage Wallace?"

"The president's son. He's been sort of… _interested_ in her."

Despite the circumstances, Bellamy can't help the wave of adolescent jealousy. The endless interest others showed in Selia while they were dating drove him crazy, even started a few fights between them. Of all the other things going on, the last thing he should care about is some other guy liking his ex-girlfriend, but still the anger wells in his chest.

Roan is watching Bellamy closely and raises a questioning brow when the boy glances his way.

"Oh," he forces himself to sound dismissive.

"Can we wake her up and have her pretend?" the Grounder questions.

Maya points to the heart monitor, "No, she can't control her heartrate. It won't be that low and she can't keep it steady on her own."

"I'm not leaving her here," Bellamy tells them. "I'm not risking it. Is there anywhere she can hide? Maybe where you keep the radio?"

Roan nods, but Maya shakes her head.

"They search the art warehouse during patrol," Maya says. "That's not going to work."

"So, the vents it is," Roan mutters.

"I have a better idea," the girl offers. "One for all three of you."

…

"Maya, are you sure about this?" Bellamy asks worriedly. "You've done enough already. You're putting yourself and your father in danger."

"I want to do this," Maya insists. "It's what's right."

Bellamy, who has a still-unconscious Selia cradled against his chest, nods in gratitude. The younger girl smiles before opening the door to her family home.

Despite her encouraging smile, she still calls out for her dad tentatively. The unseen man is asking Maya about her day when Bellamy and Roan make their presence known. The middle-aged man jumps up from his seat on the couch with the same gaze his daughter had when Bellamy had a gun pointed at her.

"What is going on?" He demands of his daughter. "Who are these people? What's wrong with her?"

"Dad, they need help. Selia and Bellamy are from the Ark and their friends are in danger," Maya quickly explains.

"What are you talking about?"

"You know it was Jasper's blood that healed me. You saw yourself that their blood makes the treatment a thousand times better. They want to use it, to harvest them. Two of their friends have already gone missing."

"I don't understand, Maya," the man says, shifting uncomfortably at the mention of the blood use. "What's wrong with her? How did you get that uniform?"

"She knows too much, they've had her sedated for days just to keep her quiet. She just needs a safe place to stay."

"No," he tells her firmly. "No, we can't be a part of this. I'm sorry, you have to leave."

"Dad, please –"

"I don't know what's going on, but this is too dangerous. What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking about what Mom would do," Maya murmurs. "I'm thinking about the belief she died for and how she would fight for them if she was here now."

"Maya –"

"The breech wasn't an accident, Dad. They used me to test Jasper's blood. They were willing to kill me just for a better treatment."

This piece of information changes the older man's entire form. The nervousness from their presence transforms to one of disbelief and anger. Bellamy watches their exchange very closely. He was worried that Maya was telling everything to someone who would turn them in, but he resists the urge to sigh in relief at the sudden change. He thinks of Kane and the ends the man would go to if Selia was telling him that people hurt her. Bellamy can only hope that Maya's dad is as protective of his daughter as Marcus is with Sel.

" _What_?"

"They think that the kids from the Ark could be our key to going outside. And they're going to kill all of them just to get it," she continues.

"If they were willing to kill you before and you get caught doing whatever it is you have planned," the man shakes his head as his voice strains.

"We won't get caught. Not if you help us," she pleads.

Selia, who hasn't reacted at all since Maya removed the I.V. keeping her sedated, suddenly groans softly. Bellamy holds her closer as everyone glances their way.

"They're good people and they don't deserve this, Dad. I'm helping them no matter what."

Her father gazes at her for a long time while an array of emotions plays across his face. Finally, thankfully, he sighs and agrees to allow them to stay there for the time being.

"Thank you," Bellamy says sincerely as he lays Selia on the couch.

The man, Vincent, nods in acknowledgment before Maya explains what's wrong with Selia.

Bellamy kneels beside the couch and brushes her auburn hair away from her face. He thinks back to all the time they spent on her couch on the Ark. He watched her sleep, listened to her laugh, held her close. They were always happy and he desperately wants that again.

"Wake up soon, Sel," he whispers before kissing her head.

He doesn't want to, but he leaves Selia in the care of Roan and Vincent while Maya takes him to see the rest of his friends and the radio to contact Clarke.

…

Noises come back first. The soft hum of voices, people breathing, the gentle lull of music. Then, there's the smells. Something woodsy and rich and something sweet.

Selia's limbs start to feel lighter, her fingers and toes twitch automatically. Things gradually become clearer until she slowly opens her eyes. The young guard stares at the unfamiliar ceiling without registering anything for a moment, but as the haziness starts to disappear, fear fills her lungs.

Gone are the bright lights and clean white walls. They're replaced with a warmer glow and a concrete ceiling. She isn't in a hospital bed anymore, but on an orange couch. Without moving her body, her eyes dart around for more clues about her location. With no answers appearing, she feels herself tense with panic.

Until a familiar voice says her name.

She lifts herself on her elbows to see she's in a homey residence with Roan and a stranger sitting close to where she's been sleeping.

"About time," Roan mutters. "You okay?"

Selia peers at the Grounder and her gaze shifts between him and the other man. She scans the room several times as her mind works in overdrive. She doesn't know where she is, how she got here, or why Roan is out of the vents. She isn't even sure if it's real. The last thing she remembers is…

"Selia," he calls again with a questioning look. "You're safe."

"W-what happened?" she questions in a scratchy voice. Her mouth and throat are dry as a bone. "Where are we? Who are you?"

"I'm Vincent Vie," the stranger answers. "This is my home."

"Maya's dad?" Selia asks and gets a nod in answer. "Where is Maya?"

"She went to some radio with one of your other friends."

She looks to Roan for confirmation which he doesn't hesitate to give her. The Grounder stands from his chair, still wearing the same yellow gown as her, and sits by her feet on the couch.

"Do you remember the last time we talked?"

Selia searches her memory that's still clouded from fatigue. "Um…after we talked to Raven? We rushed back?"

"That's right," Roan says. "Do you know what happened next?"

That memory takes longer to return, but it's obvious when her entire form changes that it isn't good. She sends a distrustful look towards Vincent before glancing at the only visible exit.

"What happened, Selia?"

"They were in my room," she murmurs. "They…they knew that I knew something. And Tsing lied, there was nothing wrong with my treatment."

She starts looking for something that could be used as a weapon, fearing that Vincent isn't really Maya's dad, and that he's working with the doctor or Cage, and guards are going to swarm in to take her and Roan.

"What did they do?" Roan presses. When Selia is too busy thinking to answer, the Grounder touches her shoulder. "Relax. No one knows we're here."

Selia relaxes slightly under his grip but still eyes Vincent cautiously.

"What did they do to you?"

"They strapped me to the bed," she says as a shudder runs through her body. "And drugged me. Dr. Tsing said she was using me as an experiment."

Both Roan and Vincent appear disgusted, but anger flashes behind the former's eyes.

"H-how long has it been?"

"Five days," the Grounder tells her.

"Why are we here?" Selia asks.

"To get you away from that doctor," Roan says.

"Are you helping us too?"

Vincent barely nods. "My daughter is helping you because she believes it's right. I won't let her fight alone."

Selia recognizes his expression because it reminds her of her own father. It lessens her distrust some more as her muscles uncoil.

"Well, thank you," she tells them both sincerely. "And Maya has already done a lot for us. We never would have been able to contact the Ark without her."

Vincent smiles, "She has a good heart."

"So do you," Selia returns.

 _If only the other people in Mount Weather were the same._

…

The tea Maya's dad made for her rids Selia of the bad taste in her mouth and coats her throat to allow her voice to return to normal. She sips it slowly, letting the bold flavor rejuvenate her tired body. There are crunchy cookies to go with and the sugar helps wake her up even more.

For the most part, the three of them are quiet as they wait for Maya to return. Roan didn't say who she was with, but Selia assumes it's Jasper. They went to the radio to contact the Ark again since she never had the chance. In the meantime, the young guard focuses on gathering her wits. Five days of being drugged enough to keep her unconscious mixed with her ongoing cancer treatment has left her mind almost as fragile as her body.

"I'm sorry you had to go so long without food," Selia says quietly.

"It wasn't that long. Maya found me," Roan returns.

"Bet you're glad I told her about you now." She gives him a weak but teasing smile to which he just shakes his head.

She goes back to her drink until it's gone. Vincent takes the tray filled with the empty cups and plates, leaving Selia and Roan alone. Just as she turns to ask him more about their new situation, the door opens and Maya walks through.

Selia's grateful smile vanishes when she sees the guard walk in behind her. She jumps to her feet and quickly attempts to shield Roan from view with her thin body. She automatically believes they've been betrayed by Maya and her father, but she still tries one last time to protect the Grounder.

Until she sees the guard's face.

He removes his hat, revealing the black hair she knows well. He's bruised, has blood on his collar, and is dressed as a Mount Weather guard, but his familiar eyes are filled with relief and hope.

"Sel," he breathes in greeting.

She gasps at the sound of his voice as her eyes grow wet. He looks as real as ever, but so did all her hallucinations. Her heart is thundering in her chest and she trembles with desperation for this to be real.

Selia glances at Roan, silently asking if he can see him too, and his responding nod has her choking back a sob.

"Bellamy," she manages to whisper.

The tears trickle down her cheeks as she stumbles towards him. She flings her arms around his neck as he wraps her in a tight embrace. It's like life is breathed back into her, like her lungs are finally full. Her heart aches in the best way, overwhelmed by the happiness washing over her. A thousand questions swim in her mind, but she doesn't care. She's wanted this moment for so long, but she thought it would never come.

"I thought I lost you again," Bellamy murmurs as he rubs her back and smooths her hair.

Selia just cries relieved and happy tears into his shoulder.

He pulls away to look at her face and smiles in relief. He dries her cheeks with his thumbs.

"Never again," he promises.

Then, Bellamy surprises them both. He covers Selia's lips with his own in a heartfelt kiss that warms her entire body. She kisses back with newfound strength, sharing all the feelings welling in her chest. They break apart for air, but keep their foreheads pressed together.

"I love you, Sel."

The tears start up again at his words. The declaration surges through her the same way it did the first time he said it so many years ago. It makes her feel light as a feather, warm as when the sun shines on her skin, incomparable to anything in the world.

"Bell, I –"

She's ready to return the words, despite everything that's happened. The pain of their break-up doesn't matter now. Not when the distance between them is finally gone and their lives are still hanging in the balance.

But the walkie on his hip crackles to life and interrupts her before she has the chance.

"Where the hell is Selia Kane?"

* * *

Hello!

I was so excited to get Bellamy and Selia back together! What did you think about it?

I'm thinking things are going to move a lot faster now, so we'll finish season two pretty soon. I'm just so excited for more Bellamy and Selia time!

Please review and let me know what you think! I always love getting your feedback and I appreciate it so much!

Thank you so much for reading, favoriting, and following! Special thanks to my amazing reviewers!

Hope to hear from you,

\- V :)


	25. Chapter 25

"How do you lose a sick girl who's been unconscious for nearly a week?" A familiar voice demands.

"Who is that?" Bellamy questions as he and Selia break apart.

"It's Cage," Selia sighs. "The president's son."

"Yeah, they told me about him."

"He's been checking on you everyday like before," Maya says. "He must have gone to your room."

"She can't have gotten far, sir. We'll find her," another man says through the radio.

"You better," Cage growls.

"We shouldn't stay here," Selia tells them. "I don't think they'll come looking in residences, but I don't want risk it."

"No, you need to rest," Bellamy argues.

"I can't put them in any more danger," she insists. "And I don't think we have time to rest. Did you talk to Monty and Jasper? Are they okay?"

Bellamy's expression darkens in a way that nearly makes her sick. "Things have changed, Sel. We don't have as much time as we originally thought."

"What do you mean?"

"Maya and I went to talk to them, but they put the dorms in lockdown. We can't get to them."

The cookies she ate settle unhappily in her stomach as bile rises in the back of her throat. Dr. Tsing's words replay in her mind, _you'll never have to worry about them again_.

She should have gone back to her room when Roan said or fought harder when they caught her. Anything to protect her friends. Anything to keep from failing them.

"Have they already started harvesting?"

"They haven't taken anyone from the dorms yet, but…" Maya's answer trails off in distress. "Harper and Monty went missing a couple days after they sedated you."

Selia releases a sharp exhale, forcing the fear down as it brings more tears to her eyes. "We have to find them before it's too late."

The young guard turns back to Roan who nods in agreement with her silent plan, but Bellamy grabs her arm to get her attention once more.

"You don't understand. We overheard the guards talking. The president released them, he got Monty and Harper back to the dorms, and he was going to let everyone go home, but he was betrayed."

"The president was betrayed?" Sel mutters in confusion until she realizes who would do such a thing. "By Cage? He what – took over? Just like that?"

Bellamy and Maya both nod as Selia processes the news. If Cage is running the show, then Dr. Tsing is right up there with him, which only spells tragedy for her people. The clock that has been ticking since the moment Abby diagnosed her with cancer suddenly cracks because time is no longer running out just for her, but for every one of her friends in the mountain.

"We need to get the hell out of here," she murmurs.

…

In the warehouse, they pour over the packet Selia found in the president's office in search of the source of the acid fog. Maya left to find a more useful map when it became obvious the one they have isn't going to help, but the guard still rereads everything she already has memorized.

"Three hours," Bellamy mutters as he checks his stolen watch. "I have to check in."

Selia nods and watches him climb to his feet before moving to the radio still hidden in the wall.

"Work Station, do you read me?"

As he waits for a reply, she glances at Roan who is obviously exhausted, but refuses to get some sleep like she suggested.

"Just close your eyes already," she insists.

"I'm fine," he grumbles.

"Roan, surely you trust me by now. You can sleep."

"It's not you I don't trust," he hisses, glancing warily at Bellamy.

"If you trust me and I trust him, then you can trust him," she whispers so he won't hear.

"Is that how it works?" He returns with a roll of his eyes.

"Work Station, this is Mount Weather. Do you read me?" Bellamy repeats.

"Yeah, that's exactly –"

"Bellamy?" A familiar voice crackles through the radio, cutting Selia off mid-sentence.

The young guard turns her head so fast that she nearly gets whiplash, but she's unfazed by the ache in her muscles. Her heart pounds so loudly that it almost drowns out the next words to come through.

"It's me, Kane."

"Where's my daughter? Is she okay?" Marcus demands, panic threading in his strong voice.

Selia hasn't heard his voice, his _real_ voice, in what feels like forever. And after believing time and again that she would never get to hear it in life even once more, the shock and relief leaves her completely frozen.

"Sel," Bellamy beckons her over gently as she gapes at the radio in his hand. "Come talk to him."

"Bellamy?" Marcus grows more worried from the responding silence.

Roan stands suddenly and moves in front of Selia to pull her to her feet. Once her knees stop shaking, he gives her a soft shove. Bellamy steadies her and places the radio in her hand.

"Go on, Sel," he murmurs, kissing the top of her head.

She inhales a shuddery breath before finally replying in a small childlike voice, "Dad?"

There's a long pause, one that makes her believe that this all might be a hallucination, but then static returns and so does his voice.

"Selly?" Marcus breathes. "Selly, baby, are you okay?"

His voice is so thick with emotion that she can practically hear the tears he's holding back. She doesn't bother to fight her own as they leave warm trails down her cheeks.

"I'm okay, Dad. Are you?"

He lets out a breathy chuckle, "I am now, Sel. I thought I lost you, I thought…I don't know what I would do. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I – I was scared. I'm sorry."

"You never have to go through things alone, baby. I'm your father, no matter how hard it is, I will be right there with you."

"I know, Dad. It's okay now, though."

Selia isn't sure if that's the truth. She's so confused by what Dr. Tsing was doing to her and she can feel her body weakening with each passing minute, but she must stay strong. She has to help her friends and see her dad at least one more time.

"I know it is, I love you so much, Selly."

"I love you too, Dad."

…

"If they're taking them one at a time, then we all know what's happening," Selia murmurs in horror.

She and Roan had been waiting in the warehouse, pouring over the new map that Maya brought to find the acid fog system. Bellamy and Maya rushed in later than the planned time and more panicked than she expected. Selia's lungs struggle to fill with air from the stress of knowing they aren't moving fast enough. If they don't hurry, then they'll lose everyone.

"We need to call the Ark," Bellamy says, neither wanting to state the obvious.

The remaining kids of the hundred are dropping like flies while they hide in the shadows, desperately searching for a way to save them.

"Where are they taking them?" Selia questions Maya as he moves to update the Ark.

"We tried following them, but we don't have clearance for that level," she explains.

"We can find it on this map, the vents take us everywhere."

Maya joins Selia and Roan on the floor to point out the classified level and they quickly trace a route to get there. The young guard is momentarily distracted when she hears Clarke's angry voice scolding Bellamy.

"Have you found the source of the acid fog?" she demands.

"Sel thinks she might have, but that's going to have to wait."

"Where are they taking them?" Raven asks after he repeats what he just told Sel and Roan.

"I think we might have found a path," Maya tells them. "It's going to be tight."

"You have to find them," Clarke orders.

"That's the plan."

"If you don't, then all of this is for nothing."

Clarke leaves to go explain what's going on to Marcus and Abby and Raven helps Bellamy and Maya set up the mobile walkie. Selia stares at the vent schematics as the clock in her head ticks rapidly.

"I should go," Selia says suddenly. "Roan and I know these vents better than anyone and I'm smaller."

"No," Bellamy replies without pause.

"What?"

"It's dangerous and you're exhausted. You stay hidden and rest."

"Everything is dangerous, everyone is exhausted, and you don't tell me what to do," she quips in irritation. "I've been crawling around these vents for a while and I'm perfectly fine."

" _Perfectly fine_?" he repeats incredulously.

"What if you find the others and Roan and I deal with the acid fog?" she suggests instead.

"No."

"Bellamy," Selia begins through gritted teeth when Raven interrupts.

"Sel, I think he's right. Just rest for now and then you can help more when Bellamy finds them."

The young guard scowls at the radio.

"Is she giving me a hateful look?"

"One of her most hateful, I think," Bellamy answers Raven.

"Suck it up, Kane. You're being benched for once in your life."

Selia huffs but doesn't argue further. She knows she already lost.

…

Selia thought she would go crazy waiting in the shadows while everyone else worked. She resigned herself to her own weaknesses knowing she would only endanger them more if she went along. However, after Bellamy came back with the news of the missile pointed right at Tondc, where she knows her father is, she found her stubbornness once more. She did not come this far to _not_ see her father again. And she has not survived this much to wait around for someone else to rescue her.

Hours later, their plan has been stretched and is in full swing. After Jasper's suggestion to Bellamy, Dante gave them information on how to irradiate level five. The daunting climb through the tunnel to get where they needed sounded like too much for the sick guard, but she only agreed to stay behind because she had something else on her mind. While Bellamy did that, Selia used Maya's direction to get her hands on a gun. Just the weight of it in her palm provides a veil of security and reminds her that she's far more than just some sickly prisoner trapped in Mount Weather.

After the level was sealed and the remaining kids from the hundred were holed up in the mess hall getting ready to fight, Selia and Maya took care of the next part – finding people to side with them. Vincent did most of the work and since the people they were brought to already wholeheartedly disagreed with Cage, convincing them to help hide their friends was easy. The next part is to get them to the people willing to hide them.

Unfortunately, Mount Weather isn't going to let their cure for the ground get away so easily which is why Selia is hiding in the makeshift operating room. The cages set up to house her people and, worse, the two dead bodies of the teenagers sent to Earth against their will sickens her. She hates herself for not being able to save them, but she silently promises that Cage, Dr. Tsing, and the others responsible for their pain will pay. She has been hesitant with Roan's hunger for revenge, but the longer she stares at the dead kids just discarded to the side, the more fury burns in her chest and the more she understands his desire.

The opportunity arises to take some action. She hears the crying of a girl and knows she is one of the hundred. Over the radio, they heard what Cage had planned to take back the level, but Selia and Bellamy knew their friends were smart enough to keep that from happening. However, they knew there was a risk and the young guard is dying to use her newfound gun.

Still hidden behind the cages, she waits with a pounding heart as the cries get closer. When the door creaks open, Selia moves into view, startling the two men dragging who she now knows is Fox.

"What the h –?"

Before either man has the opportunity to do anything, Selia has put a bullet in their heads.

"Selia!" Fox cries in relief, throwing her arms around the guard who stares at the two bodies slumped on the floor.

"You're okay," she murmurs as she hugs the sobbing girl.

Selia's gaze is pulled away from the Mount Weather guards when Bellamy and Maya arrive in the room.

"You guys alright?" he questions, his voice surprising Fox.

"We're good, but we've got to get her hidden," Selia says as the teenager moves to hug Bellamy.

Selia's fingers flex around the pistol still in her hand as she casts a final look at the men she killed before following the others out.

…

"Distracting him is a waste of time," Roan grumbles. "We're going to kill him anyway."

Selia and Roan hide outside of the armory in preparation of robbing the place. Similar to the way Sel got her hand gun, Maya somehow managed to snag someone else's key card so Bellamy could keep his as he searched for the source of the acid fog. The challenge remains, however, with the guard inside who stands in the way and holds the key to unlocking the gun safes. Maya suggested she come with them and try to distract the man, but instead she stayed behind to figure out how to get the guns to the kids of hundred. It comes as no surprise that Roan doesn't want to use a non-lethal method and, unfortunately, Selia has reached the point where she's begun to agree with him.

Rather than voicing her agreement, she simply says, "We can't get caught in here."

"Then unlock the door," Roan orders.

With a sigh, she uses the key card to let the Grounder in and follows him after the struggle ends seconds later. Selia looks at the dead Mount Weather guard briefly before stealing his key card. Just as she begins to worry about the state of conscience for the little remorse she feels, the man's radio crackles to life.

"This is President Wallace talking to the people who killed ten of my men," Cage's voice rings through the silence. "I thought we'd try something a little different this time."

As Cage describes his plan of using Maya as bait, Selia and Roan sling as many rifles as they can over their shoulders before running out to find Bellamy so they can save their best ally.

…

Despite the guns being useless in the end, Selia was relieved to have her friends away from level five. She was also relieved that they were able to rescue Maya before she ran out of air. After dividing all those left in the hundred to hide with the various Mount Weather citizens willing to help, Bellamy was able to finally deal with the acid fog. With the mountain's greatest weapon disabled, they are ready for their final battle.

Selia and Roan crawl through the vents for the last time and drop out in the harvest chamber. The key to opening all the Grounder-filled cages is held tight in her palm and she's ready to release their secret army.

"We're finally going to be free of this place," Selia says to who she now considers to be a good friend. "You can go home."

"Can I?" Roan returns skeptically. "Your friend Clarke's alliance with Lexa happened without our help. I have nothing to use as leverage."

"Clarke's alliance means we're already on good terms with Lexa. All we have to tell her is everything you've done in here to help; she'll have to let you go back."

Roan shakes his head, clearly not as confident as the young guard.

"Roan, I promise I'll do anything I can to help you go home. Us being in this mountain isn't going to be for nothing," she assures. "I've got your back."

"Thank you," the Grounder nods stiffly, but the look in his eyes in sincere.

"Of course. Now, let's get to work," she says with a grin, holding the key up in the dim light.

Selia's internal clock ticks on, but for the first time since she's been in space, she believes she can beat it.

* * *

I'm back...

First off, I cannot apologize enough for how long it has been since I updated. I know it's ridiculous and you probably figured I abandoned the story, but I promise I did not! Right after my last update, there was a loss in my family and things got crazy. Then, I was so excited for winter break because I finally had time to write and I discovered that I had total writer's block.

So, I know this chapter isn't very good at all, which I'm very sorry for, but I had to get it out. I had so much more planned for Selia in this season and I've been trying for months to make it work, but I finally had to just accept that she wasn't going to add much to the plot this season. I just couldn't get any of my plans to work and still put the characters where they needed to be. But now that I've gotten this part that I've been so stuck on finished, I can get back into the story and give you much better chapters.

Again, I'm so sorry for the long wait and this truly uneventful chapter. I hope I didn't lose all my readers because you've been amazing and I love your support.

Please review and let me know if you're still reading or if you just started the story!

Thank you for reading, favoriting, and following! Special thanks to my wonderful reviewers!

Hope to hear from you,

\- V :)


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